Dirty Sons of Pitches (general)

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we start with a cogent discussion of genital wigs and computer generated nipples and only get stupider from there. Without a solid pitch this week, we're fixing this years summer movies, and then introducing a whole new game...that we will completely change next week. 

This Episode Includes

Merkins. What are they, and why are we talking about them?

Nate discusses the Scarlett Johannson film Lucy, which he inexplicably enjoyed despite its complete lack of positive qualities. 

Ben raves about The One I Love, pans an internet reviewer's debut film, and watches the other Brendon Gleeson small Irish town movie of 2014. 

Also, Joan Rivers is dead. 

This Week's Pitch: Fix The Summer Movie Season

In lieu of a pitch, we discuss how we would have changed the big summer blockbusters of 2014 for the better, if only we could settle on when the season actually starts. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five

This new game pits host against host as one tries to guess what's in the mind of the other, exploring the dark and twisted psyche of a guy who composes lists of movies featuring amputees and killer robots in his head. Its fun for the whole family.  

Direct download: pitch_94.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, Nate and Ben discuss the Earth shattering news of...The Fappening, in which people we hate hacked the naked photos of people we hate but really want to see naked. We quickly skate by the moral ambiguity of invading the privacy of famous people we don't know the way we deal with all tough moral quandries - through the delightful post masturbatory haze that makes everything alright again. Also, like, some movies and pitches and stuff. Boobs.

ALSO AVAILABLE ON ITUNES!

This Episode Includes

- Did you not read the part about all the boobs.

- We update the Fantasy Movie Mogul Game, which nobody cares about because it doesn't involve boobs. 

- Do I need a third thing? Come on...boobs.

This Week's Pitch: Heaven And Hell Movies

- Inspired by a movie neither of us have seen, we pitch movies involving Christian mythology in a high concept context. I'm already tuning out for lack of boobs.

- Nate pitches an adaptation of Terry Pratchett and a movie about a reluctant antichrist, while Ben throws out demonic cyborgs, angel babies, and hypocrites left behind. 

This Week's Game: Movies Against Humanity

- We wrap things up with a few rounds of our favorite card game that in no way infringes upon the copyright of a similarly sounding game. Hear about the shocking secret connection between Grease and Flubber, and witness the first movie ever retired from the game due to overuse (Hint: it involves Midgets). 

Direct download: pitch_93.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:10pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons of Pitches, we were kind of tired, and it shows. We talk about a lot of celebrities that have died this year, the secret masturbatory career paths of filmmaking, a paltry list of movies seen, and a pitch based on a movie neither of us even bothered with. Its an episode almost as lazy as this short, incomplete description...

Direct download: pitch_92.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:26pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we grapple with the incredibly important news of Idris Elba's giant penis. Also Robin Williams is dead. We discuss the man's life and work and somehow avoid accussing a victim of suicide of being selfish or cowardly (its easier than you might think, Internet douchebags). Along the way we talk Intergalactic movies in honor of a big movie from a couple weeks ago, and play an all new This Meets That. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 91 includes:

-A whole new metric for judging movies, based on the work of Pauly Shore and David Lynch.

-Other stuff probably.

This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In Other Galaxies/On Other Planets

-Nate pitches a movie based on relativity and Ben ruins it with a Deep Space Nine reference, then Nate redeems himself with a movie set on a world of garbage. 

-Ben pitches, like a crap load of movies, with dinosaurs, deluded probes, and aurora borealas.

This Week's Game – This Meets That!

-Ben has a packet full of movies in lieu of a hat, and with it we get the broken Vegas life of the Little Mermaid, gun toting Willam Defore Jesus, and the most useless prognosticator ever. 

Direct download: pitch_91.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT
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Another week, another milestone 90th episode of the Dirty Sons of Pitches. This week we talk Purge pitches, exploring the many and varied ways you could expand this once thought laughable cinematic universe. Along the way, Ben makes fun of Nate for enjoying Herman's head...a lot. Also we saw some movies, none of which were the Purge coincidentally. We wrap things up with the final This Meets That selection from our now empty hat. Stay tuned for a new more reliably convoluted system. Well, more so than a hat I guess.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 90 includes:

-Do you know what a Homunculus is? Find out, and then continue not giving a crap.

-The guys hint at a new short film to come, then talk new preview picks from DC revealed at comic con, then quickly change the subject to a new pizza place to show just how little they care about the upcoming Justice League movie

-Nate spoils the fuck out of Hercules without a spoiler warning, and eats some crow for his earlier skepticism concerning the Brett Ratner vehicle, then spends way too long talking about Olivia Wilde and Scarlett Johansson nudity.

-Ben declares Tammy the new worst film of the year (America still doesn't count!), and slobbers all over his nerd self proclaiming Snowpiercer possibly the best.

-Pizza Cucinova. Quality artisan pizza made in front of your eyes for low low prices. Seriously, they don't sponsor us at all, they're just awesome.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In The Purge Universe

-Nate pitches a between Purge revenge tale, then backtracks thinking it might already be in the movie. He rounds it out by pitching a movie about people who don't kill people for a series all about people killing people.

-Ben pitches You Got Mail with machetes, an unrepentant pedo story, and a Purge era Batman tale, among several others.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!

 

-The guys have officially come down to the last two names in the hat, and one of the movies, neither of them have even seen. Still they try their best, and Ben augments the game by throwing out a home game idea of his own that Nate predictably shits on because its just too damn brilliant. 

Direct download: pitch_90.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:52pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches are done talking about hirsute dead directors and are back with a brand new episode, this week covering all things monkey related, from morally ambiguous apes who may one day inherit a dying Earth to the poo flinging primatives of the Tea Party currently trying to conquer our politics. We even game with monkeys on the brain. It's crazy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 89 includes:

-Yet more phallic innuendo!

-Ben and Nate discuss Dinesh D'Souza's America: Imagine A World Without Her, and stumble all over each other trying to adequately describe how terrible it is. In other doc news, Roger Ebert's death is still sad, and we all dodged a bullet with the death of Jodorowsky's Dune.

-Nate declares Snowpiercer one of the best of the year while Ben laments the state of modern high concept coming of age movies talking Earth To Echo. Also, spoilers, Uwe Boll still sucks.

-Both of us saw the new Planet of the Apes movie, and while we question just how much this new entry in the Caesarian Saga moves the franchise forward, at the end of the day we just can't deny the impact of killer apes on horseback double fisting machine guns.

-This Week's Pitch – Monkey Movies!

-Nate outright steals a pitch from The Simpsons with Hail To The Chimp. He then rounds it out with a sci fi flick about de-evolution, pissing off conservatives twice in one show.

-Ben steals from himself for a team of monkey superheroes, then throws out interspecies romance in space, a literal monkey bromance, and an amputee's revenge.

-This Week's Game – Monkey-fi It!

 

 

- We take classic movies and add monkeys to them. It's kind of self explanatory. 

Direct download: pitch_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:23pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches are back (Now with descriptions and everything!). They've recuperated from a mutual illness that was in no way instigated by any sexually transmitted shenanigans, and this week they're talking movies based on toys, some potentially disastrous Star Wars news (they hired the Looper guy), admitting to childhood plagarism, and probably other stuff that would require me to re-listen to more of the episode to adequately tease.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 88 includes:

-Tracy Morgan Update!: Still Not Dead

-Ben and Nate both enjoy 22 Jump Street, and believe it or not, Ben is perhaps a more enthusiastic fan.

-Nate tries to justify the schmaltzy manipulative tripe that is The Fault In Our Stars. Ben is not convinced. Then he gets all rapey with Maleficent (and no, I will not provide context for that).

-Ben reports back on a slew of movies including The Other Woman, Under The Skin, and Transformers, and remarkably finds the Michael Bay movie to be the best one.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Based On Toys!

-Ben pitches a Six Million Dollar Man toy movie, then throws out some 90's nostalgia talkin' Sky Dancers, Gator Golf, and Monsters In My Pocket.

-Nate pitches a Board Game movie based on Hungry Hungry Hippos (way to retread, like, episode five Nate), and then suggests the government's bargain basement solution to a post-Transformers world.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!

 

-The guys kind of waited till the last minute to do the game this week, but still pull it out by literally pulling some movies out of a hat. It starts a little slow, but you get what you pay for.  

Direct download: pitch_88.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:01pm EDT
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This week on The Dirty Sons Of Pitches, a lot of stuff! Better description to come, as soon as Nate writes it. I'm tired. 

Direct download: pitch_87.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:23pm EDT
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Now down to two, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" took a week off but they were not idle. The guys talk about their short film, which you cna view online now, and then pitch movies based upon foreign properties. Then in honor of "Maleficient" the guys play a game of Cast IT where they cast live-action versions of famous Disney villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 86 includes:

-The guys explain their absence last week making the comedy short film "Bacon and Eggs." Watch it here!

-Uwe Boll remakes "Suddenly", a film that fell into public domain. Did you know that was a thing? Movies you can remake at no charge, folks.

-Ben takes the lonely position of defending Adam Sandler's "Blended."

-"Edge of Tomorrow" is a great summer movie and even Tom Cruise haters can enjoy watching him die repeatedly onscreen.

-This Week's Pitch -- Foreign Properties!

-Ben pitches anime adaptations, the Necroscope series, and a retelling of the Lord of the Rings from the perspective of Mordor (Howard Zinn would approve).

-Nate pitches a Jaspar​​ fforde/Thursday Next film, swapped gender version of "Amelie," and begs for a "100 Years of Solitude" miniseries.

 

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast live-action versions of Disney villains like Captain Hook, Jafar, Gaston, Ursula, Syndrome, and others.

Direct download: pitch_86.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a threesome again but for the last official time, as we bid goodbye to departing original Son of Pitch, Eric. His swan song involves pitching movies based upon vacations and then the gang plays one final game of Gut-Check Challenge. Thaks for 85 plus episodes, Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 85 includes:

-What would you give up to make sure there was no cancer in the world? How about... more cancer?

-Edgar Wright is out of "Ant-Man." As is most of our interest in Marvel's Ant-Man.

-Eric dishes about how much he loved the new "Godzilla."

-"X-Men: Days of Future Past" reignites the X-Men franchise by also eliminating the crappy X-Men movies from record.

-This Week's Pitch -- Vacation Film!

-Nate pitches a vacation-as-CIA-cover to nab a high-profile target. It's like "We're the Millers" meets "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

-Eric pitches a family heist movie at France's Louvre. The family that steals together... eats... meals together?

-Ben pitches a combination of "Home Alone" meets "Captian Phillips," and the logistics of Holodeck fornication.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-The guys go round outbidding how many movies they can name starring a selected actor. The first one to three points wins.

Direct download: pitch_85.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches may not be a threesome this week, but we're still just as sexy. In honor of the new hit film Godzilla, this episode is a tribute to Giant Monster Movies, but we still have time to go off on stupid tangents about oh so important topics like self fellatio and poorly thought out porn parodies. We tackle some recent superhero news including a new X Man and our first glimpse at the new Batman, as well as the death of a surrealist icon and the unnecessary dickishness of a professional monkey mimic (see, we can be reductive too!). Also, Jim Belushi still sucks, in case you were wondering.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 84 includes:

- Nate considers Neighbors to be top tier Seth Rogen and then explores the dark and seedy underbelly of people who ride bicycles for a living. Thrilling.

 

- Ben shits all over the new CGI movie Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, and then re-evaluates his position on Stephen King's It (way more little kid sex than he remembered).

 

- Both of us see the new Godzilla film as a qualified success - the parts with Godzilla were great. The parts without Godzilla needed more Godzilla. Let Them Fight!

-This Week's Pitch -- Giant Monster Movies!

- Nate pitches Attack Of The Killer Tomatos with Beets (a marked improvement), and then a literal interpretation of the title of a reality show.

 

- Ben unsurprisingly pitches a movie involving Giant Monster semen, then launches into perhaps the longest and most detailed pitch in the show's history, short of perhaps Chris Holben: The Movie.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

 

- For our game this week, its another addition of Vanity Project, in which we…basically bitch a little more about what we didn’t like about Godzilla under the guise of discussing what the big lug should do next.

 

Direct download: pitch_84.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:31pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited as a threesome and Eric has several movies to get off his chest. Beforehand, the guys talk about recent TV shows that have been cancelled and renewed, specifically NBC's "Community." The gang pitches versus tales, pitting one group against another in some form of conflict. Yeah, it's kind of vague, but go with it. As they spend so much time cathcing up and chatting about TV news, they run out of time for a game this week. Next time, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 83 includes:

-Goodbye Bob Hoskins. We still liked you in "Super Mario Bros."

TV cancellations: no six seasons and a movie for "Community." TBS, save this show!

-Even fans should turn away from Jay and Silent Bob's Groovy Cartoon Movie."

-Eric expounds on "Draft Day," "Amazing Spider-Man 2," "Delivery Man," and, "Dead Heat."

-Ben wishes "Neighbors" was more than an excuse for Jackass-stye pranks. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Versus!

-Eric pitches Terminator vs. Rambo and the ultimate briday battle, nuns vs. vampires.

-Nate pitches robots vs. zombies, dinos vs. zombies, and two spies trying to bring back the good old Cold War. 

-Ben pitches Santa vs. Frankstein, future selves vs. past selves, and aliens vs. the Earth.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_83-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are all flexing those muscles they haven't used since college as they pitch movies based upon famous paintings in relation to the indie film "Belle." Beforehand, they tlak about several big news items, including the revealed cast for "Star Wars Episode 7," go over Spider-Man's second return for a second film to the big screen, and then play a game of Cast It where they envision the Sinister 6 and who would play the famous Spidey villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 82 includes:

-Bryan Singer's legal troubles.... yeah.... so.... that.

-Zack Snyder announced as director of "Justice League" movie as well. There is no relief.

-Nate congrats "Heaven is for Real" for being nice and inclusive.

-Ben enjoys "Amazing Spider-Man 2" but wishes it wasn't all so rushed.

-This Week's Pitch -- Movies Based on Famous Paintings!

-Nate pitches a world of interchangeable body parts a la cubism and how that changes our sense of beauty and identity.

-Ben pitches a LOT of ideas because he knows way more about art history than you ever would have guessed.

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-Nate and Ben forecast the eventual players of the Sinister 6 and who would best play the baddies.

Direct download: pitch_82.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are talking about good plans gone wrong as they pitch Murphy's Law pitches, namely a scheme or event that spirals out of control. The guys talk about recent strange movie projects in development, a scad of movies they watched, then play another game of Movies Against Humanity but they need YOU to judge the winner by emailing Ben and telling the guys who won the game.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 81 includes:

-Get ready for a Peeps movie... to remind you that you hate Peeps.

-Ben and Nate froth wildily over the action awesomeness of "The Raid 2."

-"Oculus" is right up Ben's horror alley, especially with extra Amy Pond.

-Hey, did you expect "A Haunted House 2" to have a rape sequence? Hilarious!

-"Transcendence" is a movie for people that don't know technology. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Murphy's Law!

-Nate pitches a blackmail that spirals out of control, all involving a male pron star's most cherished member.

-Ben pitches a haunted house heist movie and a Rube Goldberg world. Think of the art direction!

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices BUT this time they need you to judge the winner.

Direct download: pitch_81.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm EDT
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In the absence of Eric, the remaining "Dirty Sons of Pitches" get all paranormal, pitching ghost stories while also playing their game Sequel-Ize it to imagine a Ghostbusters 3, a sequel reportedly ramping up into production. Along the way they also discuss "God's Not Dead" at length, Ben's misconceptions of what an NFL draft is, John Henson leaving Talk Soup, substitute teachers who appeared on physical game shows, the inexorable appeal of Mike O'Malley, the shocking news that science is now able to grow lady parts in a lab, the foibles of the found footage genre, Ben accurately guessing the ending to "Nymphomaniac," the appeal of contractions to the youth, crummy DeNiro horror movies, whether ghosts can reform, and the lack of a sign-off after 80 episodes.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 80 includes:

-David Letterman will gave way to Stephen Colbert in 2015, but does anyone still watch?

-Ben thinks "Best Night Ever" fails to live up to every point in its title. Friedberg and Seltzer!!!

-"Draft Day" will be the highlight of the Cleveland Browns season.

-Nate watched 4 hours of "Nymphomaniac" and had the whole thing ruined by the last 90 seconds.

-Is "God's Not Dead" the most mean-spirited Christian wide release movie ever?

-This Week's Pitch -- Ghost/Haunting Story!

-Ben pitches a "Ghost Hunters"-like group that fakes its own findings, a clone haunted by the ghost of his original DNA, and a rom-com involving two possible suitors, one of them a ghost.

-Nate pitches an evil gym teacher keeping control of his students with haunted gym socks, as well as the story of a haunted toilet.

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-Ize It!

-The guys hash out a topical and satisfying sequel for the "Ghostbusters" franchise.

Direct download: pitch_80_16-55-28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:55pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" put together a lengthy conversation hashing out the best and worst TV finales in response to the hwoling dislike stemming from the "How I Met Your Mother" finale. Afterwards, they pitch movies around nationalistic super heroes in honor of the new Captain America film, and then they wrap things up playing a game of This Meets That.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 79 includes:

-The guys take a crack at the hated "How I Met Your Mother" fianle, opening the door to a larger discussion on classic TV finales that worked, that whiffed, and that deserve defending. 

-Eric and Nate both sing the praises of Aronofsky's "Noah."

-Ben has found a movie that might just be... the greatest film of all time... "Dead Heat." It's got zombies, zombie cops, Joe Piscopo, and 80s awesomeness.

-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier" has it all, including more Gary Shandling.

-This Week's Pitch -- Nationalistic Hero!

-Nate pitches Zeus in Greece and Pharoah Force Five in Egypt. 

-Eric pitches Captain Jack, an Aussie superhero whose getaway is a kangaroo pouch.

-Ben pitches an Israeli superman torn by his duties, a team of Canadian heroes lead by The Mountie and The Beaver, and a communist hero out of time.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The guys play a game combining two random movie titles into a new property.

Direct download: pitch_79.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:15am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited for the first time in a month, and they welcome their pal Alan along for the fun. In honor of a new Muppets movie, the gents are pitching puppet-related films and shows. they talk about the new trailers for "Hercules" and Michael Bay's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" reboot, but mostly they talk about weird tangents and inappropriate conversation topics. The gang plays another round of the newest game, Movies Against Humanity, and it leads to similar hilarious results.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 78 includes:

-Learn about Zest's earlier, ill-conceived ad campaign. You'll never feel Zestfully clean again.

-Could the relationship between Goofy/Pluto relate to Oscar-winning "12 Years a Slave"?

-Alan praises Wes Anderson's "Grand Budapest Hotel" and its fast-paced Andersonian whimsy.

-Ben is surprised by how interesting he finds the world of "Divergent."

-Eric (indoctrinated in the ways of "Legally Blonde 2") catches up with "Mr. Peabody," "John Carter," "Dallas Buyers Club," and "Muppets Most Wanted."

-This Week's Pitch -- Puppets!

-Alan pitches a mockumentry on the skeleton puppet from the Grateful Dead "Touch of Gray" video.

-Ben pitches a puppet serial killer, puppets within puppets within puppets, and a film described as "The Face of Love" meets "Lars and the Real Girl."

-Nate pitches a rom-com involving a famous puppet living in our world, and unknowingly rips off "Magic."

-Eric pitches a big-screen version of "Jim Henson's Storytellers" and a film noir with marionettes.

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

Direct download: pitch_78.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:49pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing Eric again this week but to fill his shoes they've brought along frequent guest, George. The guys catch up on movies and then brave into an exciting new game of Ben's design, and by design we mean it's based off of other popular games but with a little twist. "Movies Against Humanity" requires players to draw cards with film titles and then play one per category, but they must argue their case as to why their movie, silly or genuine, should be declared the winner. It's a game they'll actually play again but enjoy the first go-round.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 77 includes:

-The only good thing about the "300" sequel is the greatness of Eva Green.

-Nate and George both catch up with "Nebraska" and enjoy the journey.

-George explains why he hated Best Picture-winner "12 Years a Slave." Hint: he's not racist.

-Ben blows our minds with the no-budget fantasy film, "Tater City." Wait, what?

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's (New) Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-Inspired by another game, and maybe two, the guys try out a new film game that's pretty much like Apples to Apples/Cards Against Humanity, where they draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, the guys must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_77.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:43pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch up, reviewing the 2014 Oscar ceremony, looking back at the career of the late Harold Ramis, and then in honor of the new film "Mr. Peabody & Sherman," the gang pitches adaptations of classic cartoons from before the 1980s. Then the guys play a round of their game Cast It and estimate who would make good choices for live-action versions of two famous cartoon families.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 76 includes:

-The guys recap the most boring Oscars in years and mourn Harold Ramis and his impact on the comedy world.

-"Non-Stop" is as much fun as you can have with Liam Neeson in midair without snakes.

-Ben says "Pompeii" is like "Titanic" meets "Gladiator" and actually worth seeing.

-The terrible fantasy film "Winter's Tale" breaks Ben's brain.

-Nate wishes "3 Days to Kill" was more satirical than being a bland reverse "Crank."

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a pre-1980s Cartoon!

-Nate pitches Droopy Dog as a therapist for toons and a "Producers"-style satire updating one of the most racist, offensive cartoons of the past ("Coal Black and the Sebbin Dwarves").

-Eric pitches a modern-day Johnny Quest adventure and an unhelpful Funky Phantom.

-Ben pitches a dramatic Magilla the Gorilla and resurrects Super President whose secret desguise is... the President of the United States. 

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast the main families for live-action versions of "The Jetsons" and "The Simpsons."

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_76.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have a busy podcast this week. They run through the top Oscar categories and predict the big winners, cover a bunch of movies, pitch disaster movies in honor of the big-budget volcano epic "Pompeii," and then play part one of the ongoing game, Fantasy Movie Mogul. The guys draft their team of movies to follow through the year, jostling for the top spot when it comes to combined box-office gross.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 75 includes:

-The guys predict the major categories for this year's Oscar ceremony. Any upsets?

-Eric thinks "RoboCop" is an average action flick that suffers in comparison.

-Ben has a slew of little seen horror films to check out on VOD.

-In his quest to watch every Uwe Boll film, Nate may have found a decent one, and on Netflix.

-Nate almost recommends "Winter's Tale" just for how powerfully insane it is. Come for the magic flying horse and stick around for Will Smith as the Devil. You read that right.

-This Week's Pitch -- Disaster Movies!

-Ben pitches a 9/11 film looking at the lives of those who try to survive inside the Trade Center.

-Nate pitches a horrifying account of the Triangle Factory fire in 1911 that killed 146 people, which led to legislation for new safety standards for workers.

-Eric pitches a modern-day Noah and a heist set against the backdrop of a hurricane.

-This Week's Game -- Fantasy Movie Mogul!

-The guys play the first part of their fantasy box-office game, each drafting ten films to track their profits throughout the year. You can play too at the blog for the game.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_75-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" mourn over some recent tragic news, pitch romantic comedies in honor of Valentine's Day, and then the gents preview some new goals and games heading into 2014, including plans related to their next anniversary show.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 74 includes:

-The guys reflect on the tragic loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

-So... Woody Allen's back in the news... again...

-"Monuments Men" magically finds a way to screw up a surefire premise.

-"Robocop -- where Michael Keaton looks like "a turtle chewing on a piece of lettuce."

-"The LEGO Movie" might not be the 90-minute commercial you thought it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- Romantic Comedy!

-Eric pitches a romance based upon the true story of a woman leaping off the Eiffel Tower. The French have a different idea of romance. 

-Nate pitches a Romeo/Juliet romance where the starcrossed lovers are children of rival college football coaches.

-Ben pitches a romance between rival presedential candidates and "The Matrix" of rom-coms.

-This Week's Game -- None... but News

-Nate previews an upcoming multi-month new game, Fantasy Movie Mogul, and Ben asks for suggestions for a yearlong goal for the next podcast anniversary.

Direct download: pitch_75.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:58pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited despite the cold and going back in time to a pitch from one of their earliest shows. The guys pitch time travel movies and properties, then play a new game Build a Pitch, where they go one-by-one saying a word to build a movie logline/premise.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 73 includes:

-The Oscars rescind a Best Song nomination for improper campaigning shenanigans and not because it's actually kind of terrible. Weird fact: sung by a quadriplegic woman.

-Lex Luthor will be played by Jesse Eisenberg? You wasted your nerd rage on Batfleck, fanboys.

-Ben soldiers through "Ride Along" and "I, Frankenstein" so you don't have to. Oh boy.

-Eric says "August: Osage County" is the best he's seen Julia Roberts since "Hook." Since "Hook"!

-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel II!

-Eric pitches a rom-com where a man can flash to the end of a future relationship just by touching a person. Cuts down on the getting-to-know-you stuff.

-Nate pitches a future explorer unstuck in time, randomly being transported every 10 minutes.

-Ben pitches a comic story where an older man mentors his younger self to be a hero. Also, a group that travels through time to bang famous historical figures.

-This Week's Game -- Build a Pitch!

-Styled after an improv game, the guys take turn saying a word, building a movie logline for a time travel movie. This game will probably never be played again.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_73.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are down one son, but while Ben may be snowed in, Eric and Nate do their best to carry on in his name and legacy. The guys take a long look at documentary filmmaking and some of their favorite docs, as well as what it takes to make a great documentary. They then pitch their own doc films and series, with a brief contribution from Ben, and then play a round of Adapt the Unadaptable taking famous docs and transfering them into fictional features.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 72 includes:

-Ben is absent, reporting from the Russian Olympics. Or a Russian prison. Probably prison.

-Tarantino's new script leaks onto the Net and now he wants to take his ball and go home.

-Eric and Nate discuss a new so-bad-it's-good cult movie in the making, Neil Breen's "Fateful Findings." You'll never look at laptops the same way again.

-Eric talks about the documentary "Bronies" and Nate catches up with Oscar-niminated doc, "The Act of Killing."

-The guys discuss in greater detail what makes a good documentary, the likes of Errol Morris and Michael Moore and Alex Gibney, change fostered thanks to docs, and some of their favorites.

-This Week's Pitch -- Documentaries!

-Eric pitches a look at conservative comedians and a film following the real-life "Wrestler."

-Nate pitches a behind-the-scenes doc series resurrecting some of the worst movies of all time by the people involved who bare the scars.

-Ben pitches a look at shark surfers, the most badass thing you can do on the water.

-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!

-Eric and Nate take three popular documentaries (2004's "Super Size Me and "Farenheit 9/11," 2013's "Blackfish") and adapt them into fictional features.

Direct download: pitch_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bundling up from the weather and fighting back against Old Man Winter, namely pitching cold weather ideas inspired by the once-in-a-100-years Polar Vortex. Rather than a game this week, the guys use a bonus discussion to highlight the films they're looking forward to in 2014.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 71 includes:

-Reactions to the 2014 Oscar nominations: everybody do the "Hustle"? Which films surprised and which were snubbed, and who may win.

-Reactions to the 2014 Razzie nominations: The bigger snubs and injustices. We know you know "InAPPropriate Comedy" exists.

-Nate thinks "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" is a message and a soundtrack in search of a movie.

-Ben wishes "Wolf of Wall Street" had cut back on its narrative fat and reundancy.

-"Grudge Match": the worst CGI... EVER. "Polar Expres" got nothin' on digitally young Sly and De Niro.

-This Week's Pitch -- Polar Vortex (a.k.a. Cold Weather)!

-Nate pitches a survival thriller with people trapped in an endless snow storm.

-Eric pitches a treasure-hunting adventure where a lost location is revealed once every Polar Vortex, and a tale of Hell freezing over.

-Ben pitches a warmth succubus, a Mad Max in a frozen world, a post-Ice Age father-daughter drama, and a combination of Frozen and Taming of the Shrew.

-Bonus Discussion: 2014 Hopefuls

-The guys talk about several movies they're looking forward to seeing in 2014.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_71.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:27pm EDT
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It's the start of a new year and the best way the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have to begin another year is to devote an entire podcast to Tyler Perry's famous matriarch, Madea. Eric, Nate, and Ben pitch Madea films then play a game inserting Madea into classic older films. Also, is Madea the black Ernest?

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 70 includes:

-Ben may be pregnant. But who's the father???

-Eric declares "Inside Llewyn Davis" to be the tale of an a-hole being an a-hole. The end.

-Shocker: Ben could have used LESS hardcore lesbian sex in "Blue is the Warmest Color."

-Ben and Eric think "American Hustle" is a lot of bad wigs, needless weight change, tacky accents, 70s music, poor casting, science ovens, and side boob.

-This Week's Pitch -- A Madea Film!

-Eric pitches a love that dare not speak its name. Inspired by "Blue is the Warmest Color," Tyler Perry's Madea falls for Oprah. Picture their lovemaking. Now try and un-picture that. Good luck.

-Nate pitches Madea in space and a Madea prison break... from a men's prison.

-Ben pitches Madea as a demon hunter, Madea as president (as a Republican?), Madea as time traveler, and Madea and Big Momma trading places.

-This Week's Game -- Madea-fy It!

-The guys insert Madea into classic films like "Star Wars," "Fiddler on the Roof," "Jurassic Park," "Goldfinger," and "The Artist."

   Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_70.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT
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Here comes part two of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" to close out the old year and ring in the new. Now they, and guests George and Nicole, share their individual highs and lows for the year before playing one more round of their game, the Gut Check Challenge. Happy 2014, everybody.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 69 includes:

-Ben, Nate, Nicole, and George recap their Top 10 films of 2013, Bottom 5, and some unerrated and overrated movies. Surprise: lots of "Frozen" and "Her" and "Short Term 12" love. No surprise: lots of "InAPPropriate Comedy" hate. Lots.

-You may see George in "Fast and Furious 7"... if there is a God.

-Eric makes a return visit to dish out his own Top 10/Bottom 5 for the year.

-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!

-The gang plays another round of the Gut Check Challenge, where they have to outbid one another with how many movies they can name starring the same actor. 

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_69.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:28pm EDT
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We're counting down the hours to the end of 2013, and so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reviewing the highs and lows for the year in film with special guests George and Nicole (a girl!). The podcast was lengthy so it's been split in two parts. The first half is an examination on some news items and reviewing recent movies watched, and in Part Two the top/bottom lists will be shared along with the game. Stay tuned in the next couple days for the second half of the 2013 recap.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 68 includes:

-The crazy "Out of the Furnace" lawsuit might force every future movie bad guy/bad influence to be named after Aaron. A. Aaronson. Also: "Duck Dynasty" update.

-Learn how "Mandela" violated George's two primary rules of movies.

-Ben and George appreciate "Dallas Buyers Club" for its realistic lack of change for its protagonist.

-Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt sound like a Muppet to you? Welcome to George's world.

-"Lone Survivor": way to spoil the movie, film title!

-Do movie accents really matter? Can we just do away with them?

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_68.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:42pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are preparing for Christmas by pitching Biblical movies. After all they did pitch pagan god-related projects, so now it's Christianity's turn in the spotlight. Tis the season for a holiday edition of This Meets That as the game this week. Happy holidays everyone, and be good to one another.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 67 includes:

-So what's the deal with this "Duck Dynasty" first ammendment controversy that everyone can't stop talking about in the media? What do the ducks think?

-If you're a fan of "Anchorman" then you'll pretty much enjoy "Anchorman 2."

-Ben wishes "Don Jon" was a long-awaited sequel to "Angels in the Outfield."

-"American Hustle" is David O. Russell with a Scorsese filter. Enjoy the copious amount of Amy Adams side boob.

-The guys all talk about Spike Jonze's "Her" and agree it's one of the best films of 2013.

-This Week's Pitch -- Biblical Movies!

-Ben pitches a satire where a pregnant teen falsey claims to have been the recpient of an "immaculate conception" to avoid upsetting her religious parents.

-Eric pitches Jesus making a surprise appeareance at a political convention that assume his positions on the issues of the day.

-Nate pitches a retelling of Sampson and Delilah looking at things from her point of view as well as an actual examination on Sodom and Gomorrah and what really brought about its smiting (hint: nothing to do with the gays).

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That - Holiday Edition!

-The guys play a game combining two random movie titles into a new property, plus giving them a dash of holiday cheer.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_67.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back with another week of raw podcastin', giving you the unedited recording with some extra podcast goodness. This week, for the Christmas season, the guys are pitching different applications of their favorite Christmas film, "Die Hard." It's a week of "Die Hard" in a... pitches. The game this week is another new try-out, Aslyum-Ize, where the guys try and come up with low-rent knockoffs to some of the biggest box-office hits of 2013.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 66 includes:

-Remember gettin' nasty with a calculator? Relive the upside down memories of childhood.

-Nate thinks the Coen's "Inside Llewyn Davis" is another winner, but if you don't care for folk music, you may be out of luck. And despite the name, no anal probing.

-Eric says "Saving Mr. Banks" is two movies for the price of one, though he'd prefer less of the drunken father in the Outback. More whimsical Tom Hanks as Walt Disney, please.

-Ben and Nate reveal their wounds having watched "A Madea Christmas" on opening day. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Die Hard in a...!

-Eric pitches "Die Hard" in a museum without power and a professor thrown into the mix.

-Nate pitches "Die Hard" in an art museum with Nazi swiss bank account numbers hidden under paintings.

-Ben pitches "Die Hard" in a WWII camp, zombie apocalypse, and an orgy.

-This Week's Game -- Asylum-Ize It!

-The guys play a new game, following the production company Asylum's M.O. and knocking off Hollywood hits. the guys come up with their own cheap knockoffs for "World War Z," "Fast and the Furious," "Man of Steel," and, "Gravity."

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_66.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:07pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting a bit longer in the next few weeks as they experiment in their presentation. They're experimenting with an unedited recording, so the running time is going to balloon a bit. With that extra time, the guys run through a lot of recent news involving superhero films, pitch post-apocalyptic young adult stories, and then the game this week is Disney-fying some of the most famous post-apocalyptic films.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 65 includes:

-We talk about our experiment in being raw for the next few weeks. Enjoy the sudden appearance of lots of "umm"s.

-Superhero news explosion: Wonder Woman cast into "Batman vs. Superman" a.k.a. "Justice League: Backdoor Pilot."

-Ben thinks "Violet & Daisy" is like a Tarantino/Wes Anderson turducken. Just imagine that.

-Nate says "All is Lost" is like The Old Man and the Sea without the fish, and it's just as boring.

-"Frozen" may be the best Disney animated film since the 1990s. It's that good, and it's finally a female friendly message.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dystopias with Kid POV!

-Ben pitches a world where parents upload themselves into the bodies/minds of their children once they reach maturity. That's right, you will become your mother.

-Eric pitches a world where children are custom designed, but when you need more "blonde hair/blue eyes" they have to cull the genes from the poor.

-Nate pitches a world of overpopulation where second children are hunted down.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-The guys Disney-fy post-apocalyptic films like "Soylent Green," "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome," and "The Hunger Games."

Direct download: pitch_650.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had previously recorded a Halloween special but are now making up for the lost episode, so it's Halloween in December! The guys are pitching Stephen King adaptations and/or remakes, and then they play another round of Porno-Ize It with King's many movies. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 64 includes:

-What happened to Episode 62? Oh, and check out the guys' short film "The Red Menace."

-"Planes" is the confirmation tat the "Cars" films exist in a horrible, post-apocalyptic world after humans have destroyed themselves or the machines have risen up.

-"The Counselor" proves that not all seductive humping of windshields are made equal.

-Eric and Nate disagree with Ben over "Thor 2," which leads to much thunder.

-Are the Hunger Games the worst part of "The Hunger Games" series?

-This Week's Pitch -- Stephen King adaptation/remake!

-Eric pitches a anthology series exploring "The Shining"'s Overlook hotel through the decades.

-Nate pitches the adaptation of the dystopian teen deadly TV competition, "The Hunger..." err "The Long Walk." In the time it took to read that sentence, it's probably been optioned.

-Ben pitches adaptions of short stories "Survivor Type," "Beach World," and a tale of a man cursed by Stephen King stories coming to life.

-This Week's Game -- Porno-Ize It!

-The guys, but mostly Ben and Nate, take a Stephen King film from each decade (70s/80s/90s/00s) and turn it into an absurd porn parody. Also, was "The Langoliers" really all that bad?

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_64.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:54pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a look back into the past, exploring the religions of old for material for pitches. In honor of the Thor sequel, they're pitching movies of TV shows based upon pre-Christian religions/cultures/mythology. As for the game, Eric take his turn as Game Master for another round of Triple Titles.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 63 includes:

-Blockbuster is officially dead. Did you know it still existed? Well, it did.

-"Blackfish" shows all you need is a BA and being able to swim to work at SeaWorld. Also, humans suck.

-"Hellbenders" is like Ghostbusters as done by Kevin Smith. If you like things dark, check it out.

-Ben laments why there cannot be magic in "Thor: The Dark World," conveniently ignoring the pressence of Kat Dennings.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pre-Christian Religion!

-Nate pitches a body swap film between a normal human being and the Greek party god, Dionysis. Also, comical goat transformation.

-Eric pitches a prequel to the book "What in God's Name?" about God consolidating the other older gods, and a fantasy tailored for Ben's tastes.

-Ben pitches an apocalypse-palooza, an artist that kills so his muse will inspire his works, a Dr. Frankenstein who wants to recreate Greek creatures like centaurs.

-This Week's Game -- Triple Titles!

-With Eric as Game Master, Nate and Ben are given three pairs of actors and have to connect the movie titles.
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_63.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from their break, and they're here to test out a new batch of games for their show. No pitch this week but they try out three new games and encourage the listeners to play along. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 61 includes:

-Learn who the winner/loser is of the Madea Bowl and will see "Madea's Family Christmas" with Ben. Perhaps they'll be inspired, "Oogieloves"-style.

-"Prisoners" asks the eternal question, "Who doesn't want to punch Paul Dano in the face?"

-"Escape From Tomorrow" is David Lynch's Disney vacation video. But is it worth watching?

-The guys are all across the board on their reception to zero-gravity thriller "Gravity."

-Can the ghost of George Clooney be even more handsome?

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game(s) -- New Game Tryouts!

-Ben plays Game Master and the gang tries new games for the show: "That Meets This," "Triple Titles," and "Role Reversal." Challenge yourself and play along.

         Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_61.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bidding goodbye to this summer season at the movies. The pitches this week are how to fix a slew of summer movies and then that leads into an extended discussion over the summer as a whole at the cinema.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 60 includes:

-A preview of new Fall TV shows to look forward to. Ben loses his head for "Sleepy Hollow."

-Nate watches his first Tyler Perry movie, with expected results.

-"The Family" and "Thanks for Sharing" both suffer tonal identity crises.

-Riddick is so cool he can reform lesbians with the power of his coolness. Expect him on the "700 Club" payroll soon.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fix a Summer Movie!

-Eric fixes "Man of Steel" and "After Earth."

-Ben fixes "Elysium," "You're Next," and "Riddick."

-Nate fixes "After Earth" and "The Hangover Part III."

-Bonus Discussion -- Summer 2013: Best, Worst, Disappointments

-The gang discuss in-depth the summer as a whole, their favorites, and why there were so many disappointments this year.

Direct download: pitch_60.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:20pm EDT
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Get your tap shoes ready because the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a long look at movie musicals. They pitch musicals and then play a special edition of This Meets That combining musicals.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 59 includes:

-"50 Shades of Grey" casting news! Now you have faces for all that dry-humping.

-Nate had a great alchy double-feature with "The World's End" and "The Spectacular Now."

-"Twixt": evidence you should probably not make a movie based upon a dream unless your name is David Lynch.

-The 48 hour film fest short "Cordless" actually won awards! Go watch it again!

-This Week's Pitch -- Musical!

-Nate pitches a behind-the-scenes look at the terrible Broadway musical of "Carrie," and a world where people have one song-and-dance number they can leap into by choice.

-Eric pitches a KISS jukebox musical where they save Christmas AND Detroit, and a jukebox musical for the Bare Naked Ladies.

-Ben pitches a They Might Be Giants concept fantasy, a "John is Dead" conspiracy thriller, and time travel via listening to music.

-The guys discuss their favorite musicals and what makes a good movie musical.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That: Musical Edition!

-The guys make pitches based upon randomly drawn movies and one randomly drawn musical.

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_59.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:54pm EDT
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The Internet exploded over Miley Cyrus and Ben Affleck, and so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are on the case. The guys are pitching invasion properties in light of "You're Next" and "The World's End," and they've saved the Batfleck talk for the end, envisioning a DC cinematic universe in a game of Pre-Cast It. Along the way they talk about topics such as "Full House" as a home invasion thriller, the power of Urkel, what the VMAs are supposed to be awarding anyway, Ben's sock metric for enjoying music videos, your priorities when given a time machine (hint: kill Hitler first), "Ghost Shark" vs. "Sharknado," lovemaking inside a shark's belly, quesitons about sperm bank donation requirements, sock babies, the healing strength of Nicole Kidman's urine in "The Paperboy," alien fornication to save the species, the credibility problems of a Wonder Woman movie, why Aquaman could murder everyone, and why the public only cares about Batman and Superman.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 58 includes:

-Miley Cyrus twerked and the world went mad. Also: the guys' short film makes the BEST OF screening for the 48 hour film fest.

-Is a powerful third act in "Fruitvale Station" enough to justify the first two acts?

-"You're Next" will make you re-evaluate the full uses of common kitchen appliances.

-"The World's End" may be the best movie of the Cornetto Trilogy. Ben and Eric go into geek gasms.

This Week's Pitch -- Invasion Film/Series!

-Ben pitches aliens taking over a tenement building and an adult "Home Alone" as a spooky Norman Bates-type nutball. Don't go in there, Joe Pesci!

-Eric pitches a reamke of "Two Minute Drill" and samurai and ninjas vs. aliens.

-Nate pitches an outpost on the edge of Rome's crumbling empire having to fight together to thwart invaders.

-This Week's Game -- Pre-Cast It!

-Taking off from Ben Affleck as Batman, the guys cast the rest of the Justice League (Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter) before speculating about a future DC movie universe. They are not optimistic.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_58.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting a jump on Presidents Day and pitching movies and other properties revolving around real-life or fictional presidents. Then they play their game of Vanity Project to develop and spitball a biopic for the current commander in chief, Barack Obama. Along the way they talk about topics like the sexiness of certain numbers, cake vs. pie, the short-lived Tom Arnold Apology Tour, straying from the facts with true stories, the ridiculous twist ending of "Safe Haven," the reality of an Oprah sex scene somewhere on the cutting room floor, the better lodging in heaven for people who are more liked, the Marilyn Monroebot, Ben's mother's experience on a political focus group during the 2008 election, the fallacy of electing candidates who promise to make government worse, the rule that ALL Canadians get free Timbits at any Tim Horton's, a mini-series on presidential losers, and the collective ignorance over currently working black directors.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 57 includes:

-Eric has finally watched his Netflix Steaming Streaming challenge punishment -- "Autumn in New York." Coming up next: Tom Arnold.

-Ben tears apart "Elysium" as well as the notion of President Hobo.

-"Kick-Ass 2" deserves so much more of Jim Carrey. "Hell Baby" has extensive nude scenes and baby punching, so, just right.

-Ben and Nate deabte whether "Lee Dainels' The Butler" is a bad biopic or a subversive anti-biopic.

-This Week's Pitch -- Presidential movies!

-Nate pitches a Roosevelt corssover and a group of juvenile delinquents vs. killer animatronic presidents. 

-Eric pitches... Kid President! So, how mnay other people died in the line of succession? And "The Grey" but with Teddy Roosevelt and big sticks.

-Ben pitches Nixon as a secret woman, a president kidnapped and replaced by a doppleganger, and a film all about one climactic presidential debate.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys try and think out different film narratives and biopic casting for our 44th president, Barack Obama. They even have fun thinking of the "crazy fringe" version of the man's life.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_57.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:32pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches"are looking into the future with their pitches this week, sci-fi future worlds, and with the state of Hollywood filmmaking. There's a lot to talk about.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 56 includes:

-The guys reflect upon their exeprience in this year's 48 Hour Film Fest. Watch their short "Cordless" HERE. You'll never think of extension dennis cords the same way.

-"The Canyons" just makes you feel sad all over. And that's with Lindsay Lohan nudity.

-The one problem with "The Way, Way Back": not enough cliches?

-"2 Guns" has way more guns than that. Also, "Elysium" is many things but subtle it ain't. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Horrible Sci-fi Future Worlds!

-Nate pitches a world where tehcnology has destroyed our face-to-face communication.

-Eric pitches a world overpopulated with people who cannot die. Plus get a load of "Worm Women."

-Ben pitches a world overrun by evil puppets, and a scary future built upon the conservative warnings about what legalizing gay mariage will do to the country.

-Bonus Discussion -- Future of Hollywood Blockbusters?

-The guys have an in-depth conversation on the future of the big-budget Hollywood movie, the costs of doing blockbuster business, the concept of ticket sales changing to reflect audience interest, and whether we're heading for an implosion.

        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_56.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT
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In honor of the new Batman/Superman news fresh from Comicon, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches"are crossing over different characters and properties. They pitch crossover movies and then play another round of one of their newer games, Versus, pitting similar characters or agencies against one another. Along the way they talk about a classic Robert Loggia TV advertisement, the appeal of Cinemax in the 90s, our choices for a possible Batman, the sin of gluten, the unintelligible nature of Jeff Bridges' speaking voice, the prevalence of deer breaking and entering according to "Grown Ups 2," Ben's hatred of Ryan Gosling's non-acting, the alarming penetrability of Japan's bullet trains, the Pixar Universe theory combining all the studio's movies into one timeline, angels vs. aliens, and a Hugh Jackman-off.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 55 includes:

-Kevin Smith comes out of retirement for the weirdest project you can imagine.

-Batman vs. Superman in 2015? After "Man of Steel," do we still have hope?

-"R.I.P.D." is D.O.A. when it comes to entertainment.

-Enjoy the insightful metaphor of a deer peeing in Adam Sandler's face in "Grown Ups 2."

-"The Wolverine" is perfectly adequate, which means it could have been much worse.

-This Week's Pitch -- Crossovers!

-Eric pitches the solution to Detroit's woes: Axel Foley and his new partner, Robocop.

-Ben pitches an all-Rock affair, Avengers vs. Uma Thurman's Avengers, and how "Cool World" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" represent heaven and hell.

-Nate pitches the Halloween creatures from "Nightmare Before Christmas" working with the monsters of "Monsters Inc."

-This Week's Game -- Versus!

-The guys pit Ryan Reynolds' Green Lantern vs. Deadpool, the R.I.P.D. vs. the M.I.B., and Hugh Jackman's Van Helsing vs. The Wolverine.

            Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_55.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:17pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are pitching the most outlandish Rocky sequels possible for fun. Then they play another rendition of This Meets That for their game. Along the way they talk about Ben's confusion with his mother, Internet TV breaking through into Emmys, the awesomeness of "Sharknado," battling a Sharknado with a Sharkicane, Ben's disenchantment with the masses dumbing down the things he'd love, President Carl Weathers, the difference between ironic racist humor and simply racist humor, Hitler's lack of involvement in "InAPPropriate Comedy," the many statues of Rocky Balboa, a Human Centipede Christmas, and listening to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" on your Roku and on your TV now (soundtrack to your lovemaking).

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 54 includes:

-2013 Emmy nomination discussion: Do they matter? Do voters get in ruts? Did "Monk" deserve 876 Emmys?

-"Pacific Rim" unleashes your inner ten-year-old.

-Do all underdogs really deserve to win?

-Ben feels that "InAPPropriate Comedy" may very well be the worst comedy... of all time. It makes Ben think back fondly on "Movie 43."

-This Week's Pitch -- Crazy Rocky Sequel!

-Eric pitches a Rocky who tries to cheer up his son through spectacluar image sabotage.

-Nate pitches Rocky vs. Giant Monsters in the future and Rocky vs. the War on Terror.

-Ben pitches a "Rocky"/"Demolition Man" hybrid. Rocky teaches future cops how to punch people IN THE FACE.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The guys randomly select two movies and try and combine them into a new property.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_54.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:38pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches," reunited, are going to go to a sad, sad place. They pitch the saddest movies they can think of then play a game of Disney-fy It to turn some unhappy ending frowms upside down. Along the way the guys talk about other subjects like the historical context of Steely Dan, hiding Ringo Starr in a dark place, why underdogs don't always deserve to win, "Spring Breakers" vs. "The Master" for hardest movie to watch, Paul Feig's connection to "Heavyweights," how staying through the end credits can bite you in the end, when the hero gets in his own way, Drew Carey's connection to the Zodiac killer, a new way of viewing the Trail of Tears, and Ben's hand replacement experiment.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 53 includes:

-Do you know what a limp biscuit is? You'll wish you didn't.

-Is the "Monsters University" alma mater theme the same as "Every Sperm is Sacred"?

-"Despicable Me 2" all depends on your love/hate relationship with the Minions.

-"The Lone Ranger" should have been retitled "Tonto in the West," and it might have been a better movie too.

-This Week's Pitch -- Saddest Movie!

-Nate pitches a man forced to live multiple lifetimes, watching his beloved grow old and die, until he meets his one soulmate.

-Eric pitches a mom with cancer, a son with autism, and servicemen losing their family.

-Ben pitches a sad squirrel tale, looking back on a life of dog ownership, saying goodbye to a loved one pinned to death, and the unrequited romance of gay marriage before DOMA was rescinded.

-Bonus Discussion: Films that made/make us cry. Yep, that one's on there. And that.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-The guys apply happy endings to "Bambi," "Marley and Me," and "Terms of Endearment."

  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_53.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:10pm EDT
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Minus Eric, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome George and pitch movie prequels. They then play another round of their game This Meets That. Along the way they talk about George's transformation into an angry old man, Gene Hackman's last film -- "Welcome to Mooseport," Pink Floyd/"Wizard of Oz"-stye pairings to other movies ("Eyes Wide Shut" and Weird Al?), George-rated film edits his family would make, how to cancel out cunnilingus-accrued throat cancer, every sequel having a prequel, Halloween Town's relation to the afterlife, suspension of disbelief with casting, the general ineptness of the vice presidents combined, and a breast obsessed killer.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 52 includes:

-"Taken 3" is happening... to a nursing home near you! Plus: George says Liam Neeson + punchin' things = his ticket bought.

-George says "Hangover III" is his favorite "Hangover" movie.

-"Room 237" takes you into the exhausting minds of obsessive conspiracy folk. Sometimes a binder is just a binder, people.

-"Monsters University": Why set a children's movie at a college? Why even have a prequel?

-This Week's Pitch -- Prequels!

-Nate pitches a "Social Network" prequel -- "Friendster," plus a prequel to "Memento" that might be a... sequel?

-George pitches a prequel with Snake Plissken and "Sky Lieutenant and the World of Today."

-Ben pitches prequels to "Predator," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and Stephen King's "It."

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-Another round of movie combination pitches, including Obama fighting all the former zombie presidents and a slasher killer very particular about cup size.
  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_52.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:07pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are faster than speeding bullets, more powerful than... well, you know the drill. they catch up on movies seen, spending plenty of time talking about the new "Man of Steel" Superman film, then they pitch superhero team projects, then play a double game of Recast It and Re-Direct It for "Man of Steel."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 51 includes:

-Who else is going to turn a in memorium of James Gandolfini to talk about a cursed Eskimo movie?

-"After Earth" is just about the worst sci-fi has to offer. THEY SMELL FEAR! But can they see?

-Google. "The Internship" (Google) brought to you by Google. Google.

-"Man of Steel": A dark Superman? Dad wants to let kids to die? Millions of dead innocents? Thanks Christopher Nolan.

-This Week's Pitch -- Superhero Teams!

-Eric pitches the "Billion Dollar Franchise": Wolverine, Hulk, and Batman.

-Ben pitches several of his own superheroes including post-apocalyptic super teens and a group of undead heroes.

-Nate pitches a "Misfits"-style show with delinquents who remain delinquents with super powers.

-This Week's Game --Recast it! and Re-Direct It!

-The guys take a crack recast and re-direct "Man of Steel."

  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_51.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:17pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating 50 shows and in honor of "After Earth" and the upcoming Father's Day, they pitch father/son combo movie projects and then Porno-Ize M. Night Shyamalan's career. Along the way they talk about topics such as an undercover bear, Gay Oedipus, how truly terrible "Hemlock Grove" is, the 8-second threshold for Ben's entertainment, the secret murderer status of fathers that put their kids in public schools, Nate's irritation with Anna Kendrick's character in "Pitch Perfect," the longest runway in the world in "Fast and Furious 6," Vin Diesel and enunciation, Ben comparing Baz Lurhmann to Charles Oppenheimer, being serious like a farmer, why Zelda should not be legendary, ghosts getting it on with one another, and changing our concepts of sexuality if everyone on Earth cannot stop defecating.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 50 includes:

-Binge TV: The new model? Are we romanticizing the once-a-week delivery? Why do we still have Nielsen ratings?

-"Fast and the Furious 6" is certainly not for Ben and Nate but they'll take it.

-Who in the world is "The Hangover Part III" for? Answer: nobody.

-Ben doesn't even like "The Great Gatsby" novel but feels the need to defend it against the Baz Lurhmann movie.

-This Week's Pitches -- Father/Son Projects!

-Ben pitches a "Die Hard" with McClane's pop and a series following the illegitimate kids of a James Bond-like super spy.

-Nate pitches a father/son buddy cop movie and a sequel to "Hitch" with Will and Jaden Smith.

-Eric pitches a fantasy epic in the "Legend of Zelda" and a revolutionary struggle revolving around chess. 

-This Week's Game -- Porno-Ize It!

-The guys take the career of M. Night Shyamalan and adapt each of the man's movies into a porn parody.

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_50.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:30pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have two guests, Drew and Liz, and together they all try and come up with the cheesiest, silliest, awesom-est Sci-Fi Channle Original movies. They then play another game of This Meets That. Along the way the group talks about other strange topics like Drew's grandmother-esque satisfaction that people are "getting work," the difficulty of killing people with emblems, more equaling more than none, the prospect that for $5K Bruce Campbell will do anything, Ben's disappointment over Chloe Grace Moretz's legal status, the difference between a Mega Bear and a Super Bear, the logistics of attaching eight squids together a.k.a. Octo-Squid, the Anti-Monster Defamation League, Renee Zellweger playing a shark, Stoneado, a 4th of July-themed movie with haunted fireworks from the ghostly ashes of those British loyalists burned at the stake post-Revolution, Liz's fascination with weather born from STDs, Corey Hart vs. vampires, and what Liz will do for a good piece of steak.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 49 includes:

-The guys discuss the movies they're most looking forward to this summer (hint: not "Hangover 3").

-Eric talks about the pet drama "Haichi," a movie that will make you smash your TV in tears.

-Ben shares his new favorite movie of all time -- "Manborg"!

-"Star Trek Into Darkness": In summary... KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

-This Week's Pitch -- Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie!

-Eric pitches a super bear brawl and a classic Universal monsters MMA bout.

-Liz pitches the adventures of Thunder Shark and his... sonic hearing.

-Ben pitches the epic showdown: Zoo Storm vs. Laser Quake! Just when you thought you were safe...

-Nate pitches a weather-related disaster about a tornado that plows through a series of Port-a-Potties. Guess what it's called.

-Drew pitches aliens fighting direwolves.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The gang plays another round of combining two random movies into a viable pitch.
      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_49.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:27pm EDT
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In the absence of Eric, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are graced with the presence of a special celebrity guest, musician/actor Tom Waits. In honor of the big-budget "Great Gatsby," the gang pitch adaptations of books that they hated in high school. The game this week is then coming up with a fitting projecy for prolific director Michael Bay. Along the way the guys talk about stuff like seeing Rosie O'Donnell in her "Exit to Eden" outfit at all times, the scientific combination of Stanley Tucci and Stacey Keach, Tom Waits' wordy and bloody calling card, the real flow of bals with Mr. Bucket, Tom Waits studying for Boo Radley, Nazi rats and singing Einstein, the confusion of Shakespeare's ownership, Hamlet getting nasty with poor Yorrick, sympathy for Dr. Frankenstein, and a cross between "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Night Rider."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 48 includes:

-Tom Waits enlightens us with his wisdom and perspective and vague hobo threats.

-Ben loves "Pain and Gain" and thinks it's the top movie of 2013 for now.

-On the flipside, Ben tlaks about a movie that left him speechless -- "The Nutcracker in 3D."

-"Great Gatsby": loses the subtext but upps the jazz hands.

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a Book You Hated in High School!

-Tom Waits pitches a new way to make students fear Shakespeare like never before.

-Nate pitches "Lord of the Flies" with women. This should end well.

-Ben pitches different takes on "Frankenstein" and a radical adaptation of "The Grapes of Wrath."

-Bonus pitch: the gang pitches movies their repsective mothers would enjoy.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The trio pitch a movie that would be suitable for the skills of director Michael Bay.

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_48.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are takin' ya out to the ballgame, peanuts, cracker jacks, you know the drill. This week's theme is sports movies, and the guys take turns pitching their ownsports movies and then a sports related round of Defend Yourself. Along the way the guys also talk about Jesus quesadillas, throwing children down stairs to replicate the success indicated in "Rookie of the Year," the lingering and misguided effects of a children's show about genocide, historical based ratings, the question of "Star Trek" holodeck sexual fantasies, Lola Bunny educating young boys into future furries, "Latvia" vs. "Latvaria," Tony Scott directing movies from the afterlife, and wheelchair mountain climbing.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 47 includes:

-Is there a "fecal miracles" specialty in the Vatican Miracles Investigations Department?

-Nate says "Mud" is the best film he's seen so far this year.

-"Pain and Gain": when is excess too excessive? Michael Bay will find out.

-"Iron Man 3" leads Ben to another angry tirade mostly about the handling of The Mandarin

-We actually have a winner of the Netflix Steaming Streaming Challenge!

-This Week's Pitch -- Sports Movie!

-Eric pitches a soltuion for Cleveland's sports misery: exorcising the demons responsible for their many sports woes (Damn you, Moses Cleveland and your deal with the devil!).

-Nate pitches a sincere movie about a girls soccer team in Afghanistan and the danger of the Taliban.

-Ben pitches a time-traveling version of Treasure Buddies, some sports video game adaptations, and the Harlem Globetrotters cartoon.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Eric defends his love of "Space Jam" and Ben defends "Loonatics Unleashed" and "Rookie of the Year."

-The guys share their favorite sports movies and what makes a good sports movie.
        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_47.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:17pm EDT
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It's an assembly for the ages, where the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have reached out to frequent guests George, Drew, and Chris Holben for the purposes of one great brainstorm session to come up with a sequel for Ridley Scott's "Prometheus." Afterwards, they play a big game of the Gut-Check Challenge. Along the way they tlak about Katherine Hepburn's incontinence, Jar Jar Binks as the Falstaff of the "Star Wars" universe, Jeffrey Jones' legal troubles, Adele's suicide note put to song winning an Oscar, making a computer to scale from a cocktail napkin (thanks "Superman III"), moving one's affections from Kathy Ireland to Wallace Shawn, judging movies via their posters, the logistics of having sex if you're a creature made of eyes, why the scientists in "Prometheus" are the stupidest people ever, the seventh best David Lynch movie, and the overall collective ignorance of female anatomy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 46 includes:

-George turns back time via flying backwards and has a lot of things to say about "Superman" and Richard Donner's "Superman II."

-We got nostalgia for everything: "Mom and Dad Save the World," "Power Rangers"

-The Adele/Robert Goulet-as-Adele impressions will not stop, thank you very much.

-"Oblivion": derivitive but it's got Tom Cruise and explosions, so good.

-This Week's Pitch -- 'Prometheus' Sequel!

-The collective brainstorm a natural sequel for Ridley Scott's "Alien" prequel, since the man himself needs the help.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-Six men out-bid one another to see who can name the most movies starring selected actors. You may be surprised by the eventual winner. 

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_46.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome two guests, returning show mascot Chris Holben and Ben's mother. They go back to previous pitches and take another shot at them, and then the game this week is replaced with a bonus discussion over various fantasy worlds they consider entering. Along the way they also cover such topics like defiling Pinhead's puzzle box, the posibility of a Kickstarter to have Ben udnergo gender reassignment surgery, Ben's mother as a shape-shifter, the cross-gender "Cloud Atlas" porn parody, how should one watch a movie musical, the importance of pubic hair according to "Trance," the modern-day Ruffio, Ben's desire to become a bully against hobbits and munchkins, the unnatural hormonal reactions to the witches in Disney's "Hocus Pocus,"  and Ben's mother's admission that she's looking for tips on time travel to stop the birth of Ben.

Epsiode 45 includes:

-Guess what the guys suggest to do with a mystery box? Hint: It later involves a mystery baby.

-Welcome thousands of new downloaders... or a few guys data-mining our catalog of shows.

-"42" is a movie with just the right amount of racism.

-Ben unexpectedly loves "Rock of Ages" and "Amour" and challenges Nate.

-"Temptation": Unequivocal proof that Tyler Perry hates women.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption III!

-Chris Holben pitches his epic dragon fantasy as well as a TV show for "Van Helsing."

-Eric pitches an American version of "Dr. Who" with Ben as the companion!

-Ben pitches a trio of holiday-themed horror movies including living snow.

-Nate pitches a Western based upon a Chinese laborer who becomes a small-town sheriff.

-Bonus Discussion -- Fantasy Worlds!

-The gang debates what fantasy worlds they would want to enter: Narnia, Camelot, Neverland, Wonderland, Middle Earth, Westeros, Hogwarts, and... the Netherlands.

                Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_45.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:05pm EDT
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The guys are back with a pitch this week and plenty of them. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking another crack at adapting movies into TV properties and then they play another round of the easy-to-play game, This Meets That. Along the way they confuse "Meet the Peebles" and "Meet the Feebles" and "Meet the Deedles," memories with Siskel and Ebert, Ben's arson inspiration from Billy Joel and how criminals trip up confessing wrongdoing through song, GIANT SPACE RODS, Ben's grandfather turning on Julie Andrews after she went topless in a movie, the terror of Canadian fascist aliens, Killer Klown apocalypses, and somehow the memory of the little-seen "Terms of Endearment" sequel, "The Evening Star."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 44 includes:

-The guys pay their repsects to film critic and influence, Roger Ebert.

-Ben's stance on "G.I. Joe: Retaliation": They might as well be making love to the guns.

-"The Host": The fate of the world rests on one annoying teenager's love triangle.

-The aliens can conquer space travel but not contact lenses?

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a Movie to TV Series!

-Nate pitches a different take on the upcoming "World War Z."

-Eric pitches many things, including "Django Unchained," "Paul," and "Hobo with a Shotgun"

-Ben pitches several concepts like a demonic "Alien Nation"-style buddy cop series, and a John McClane saves-the-day-a-week show.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-They replay another batch of wild combinations of two different movie properties.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_44.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:56pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had a great idea, to watch the lowest-grossing wide release film of all time, "The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure." It'll be fun, they reasoned. Oh how wrong they were. Recording minutes after finishing that awful children's movie, the guys unleash their thoughts and reflections, trying to make sense of what will never make sense. If you've ever wanted to know what this movie was about, or what makes it... special, then this podcast will be enlightening and entertaining. Next week, they swear they'll have an actual pitch.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 43 includes:

-Two sad bits of news: the demise of "Poddammit" and the passing of "Pie in the Sky's" Richard Griffiths

-"Spring Breakers": If Terrence Malick made an exploitation film, this would be it.

-"Come Out and Play": Can a bad movie be saved by three minutes of cathartic (evil) child-killing?

-Ben finds the caveman version of Emma Stone to be... stirring.

-New Segment -- What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- "The Oogieloves Movie"

-Meet the movie that officially broke Ben. He is a ruined man.

-Milkshake drinking contests, gassy birds, quadriplegic pillows, bad messages for children, and you can even watch Cary Elwes soul die HERE.

-Is Wendy the Window really an evil force purposely trapped in a window pane and manipulating others to be free? And how long before J. Edgar Hoover tries to make a move on her? What did I just write?

-Your kids deserve better, parents and exclusive Wal-Mart shoppers.

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_43.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:07pm EDT
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And now here's part two of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" one-year anniversary special. The guys take on an extended edition of their game Court of Public Opinion, wherein two of the Sons of Pitches face off with a disagreement they've had over the course of 40 previous podcasts. There may not be another podcast after how things play out with this one. Remember: these guys are friends.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 42 includes:

-This Week's Game -- Court of Public Opinion!

-Ben vs. Eric: The quality of "The Avengers"

-Nate vs. Ben: The quality of an actress that Jennifer Lawrence is.

-Eric vs. Nate: The quality of the film "Superman Returns."

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_42.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:20pm EDT
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It's been a whole year since the world has known the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcast, and we'd like to think it's been a better world since. To mark the occasion, the guys are expanding their game of Court of Public Opinion to rehash some of the bigger disagreements during that one year. Each Son of Pitch will square off against another at one point. But because the podcast went so long, they've split them up into two separate episodes. Expect the next one, covering the actual game, to be released later this week.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 41 includes:

-One year later... it's all downhill from here.

-"Veronica Mars" on Kickstarter: the start of a trend or a new way for corporations to screw us over?

-"Stand Up Guys": Shouln't Al Pacino really add an "H" to his name already?

-"The Call": Why you should never not kill the killer when you can.

-"Incredible Burt Wodnerstone" will surprise you. It's at least better than "Identity Thief."
       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_41.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome their second female guest to the podcast -- Sarah (I suppose third if you count Ben's mother).This week, in honor of Oz, it's all about fantasy pitches, and the theme even extends into this week's game as the gang recasts the "Wizard of Oz" trilogy. Along the way they tlak about things such as the mechanics of mating with giants, the illogical nature of a government combatting overcrowding with a 12-hour free-for-all period of lawlessness, whether "Jack the Giant Slayer" stole from the MIB cartoon, Jason Bateman's status as a quality comic actor, Michael J. Fox's TV sitcom names, the flaws in the gameplay of Chaka and the Forever Man, and the taint-quality of Kevin James.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 40 includes:

-What would you do with a 12-hour window of lawlessness? Ben's answer may surprise you and... not surprise you but depress you all the same.

-We predict everyone in America will be working on simultaneous heists.

-"Amour": the love story of the year that will make you wish for death.

-"Oz the Great and Powerful": too much CGI, too much Franco, and yet not enough Zach Braff?

-This Week's Pitch -- Fantasy film!

-Ben pitches a "Full Metal Jacket"-style bootcamp for dragon warriors.

-Nate pitches a super wizard savior switched at birth tale, a fantasy "Puddin'head Wilson," if you will.

-Eric pitches a wannabe sword fighter who has to battle Lancelot for the fate of mankind.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-The gang recasts "The Wizard of Oz," "Return to Oz" and "Oz the Great and Powerful" as contemporary films.

     Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_40.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:59pm EDT
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In honor of the Oscar ceremony, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are mixing things up. They get into an extended discussion over their predictions for the top awards, then discuss movies they have seen this week, ending on their pitches, which are the ultimate Oscar bait movie. Along the way the guys get tangled up talking about John McCain thinking he's John McClane, the exact equation it would take to turn hentai into Oscar bait, the artistic resonance of the HJ in "Hyde Park on Hudson" vs. the HJ in "The Master," the darkness of the Focker Wilderness, the flat food diet, what happens when you have the oldest and youngest Oscar nominees fight, the cruelty of lying to Helen Keller about time machines, and the awesome fact that Daniel-Day Lewis can do anything.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 39 includes:

-Bonus Discussion -- Oscar Predictions!

-The guys go through 10 categories and discuss whom they think will get the shiny statues. Waltz vs. Jones, Lawrence vs. Riva, "Brave" vs. good taste; they got it all covered and then some.

-They discover the true versatility of Daniel-Day Lewis in action. You'll never look at a wad of tissues the same way.

-"Beautiful Creatures": What's worse? Jeremy Irons' southern accent or a plot that arbitrarily denies women being able to choose for themselves?

-Ben defends "It's Pat: the Movie" then dishes about his newest fan, Julia Sweeney herself.

-Ben comes clean on his own manic pixie girl dream -- Emma Watson.

-This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate Oscar Pitches!

-Ben pitches "The Sadness Gang," a team-up of unfortunate little girls who know a thing or two about being sad.

-Nate pitches a Forrest Gump prequel about Forrest's father, the unknown key to WWII victory.

-Eric pitches an uplifting sports film around Colts coach Chuck Pagano -- "Chuck Strong."


        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_39.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:34pm EDT
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"The Dirty Sons of Pitches" are messin' with all sorts of spoilers with this episode, looking back on the best and worst twist endings in film history. They pitch famous movies if their famous twists happened in the middle, then play another game of This Meets That. Along the way the guys chat about why the Vatican needs two kinds of smoke, Madea Goes to Space, Ernest's potential involvement in "Star Wars," a version of "Maximum Overdrive" where the know-it-all Amish are our only hope, zombie street cred, inappropriate genres for twist endings, the Orphan girl's other potential moneymaking options, Jabb's Hut's sale on metal bikinis, why Mr. Glass desperately needs henchmen, and the true depth the Tim Daly conspiracy gpes to (hint: you're in on it too).

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 38 includes:

-Madea the Pope? Laugh now but soon you will come to see our way.

-"Rust and Bone": When Marion Cotillard nudity just isn't enough.

-What is the best "Die Hard" sequel? We can at least all agree it ain't "Die Hard 2"

-The guys spoil like 30 movies as they discuss classic good and bad twist endings and what makes the difference. Beware.

-This Week's Pitch -- Twist-Middles!

-Eric pitches a revamp of "The Empire Strikes Back."

-Nate pitches revamps for "Fight Club" and "The Usual Suspects."

-Ben pitches revamps for "Saw" and "Basic."

-This Week's Game --This Meets That!

-They replay another batch of wild combinations of two different movie properties.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_38.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:45pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and will explain their absence from the week prior, and it is movie-related. This week the guys pitch biopics they'll never see, either because the person is unworthy or has no audience for it. Afterwards they play a new game hwere they have to randomly draw two movie titles and pitch a thematic combination. Along the way they also talk about...

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 37 includes:

-Nate and Eric explain their "Groundhog Day" escpades and how Nate almost got kicked out.

-Ben waxes philosophical about his self-imposed Madea Challenge, watching all Tyler Perry/Madea movies, and how he has lost even more faith in God.

-Why is "Argo" really cleaning up the awards season at this point? We have theories. 

-Eric and Nate call "Warm Bodies" a cute zombie film; Ben introduces you to your next great cult movie, "The ABC's of Death"

-This Week's Pitch -- Unworthy or Unlikely Biopics!

-Eric pitches a biopic of Frank Stallone starring... Sylvester Stallone.

-Nate pitches biopics for Jonas Salk's lesser known brother and a portrait of a great man of courage... who just happened to be fighting for something very wrong.

-Ben pitches biopics on the Singing Nun, little supernatural con artists, and a fartiste, a man with a supernatural ability to control his own... farts.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-It's another new game, this time pulling two movie titles randomly from a hat and combining them thematically as a group pitch.

         Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_37.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:08pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are all about Westerns this week as they embrace Eric's favorite genre. After pitching their own Westerns, the gang play a new game, Versus, where they tack an actor and pit two of their roles against one another in a duel. Along the way the guys get distracted tlaking about apocalypse by sloth, the use of "antithetical," starting off right with your "hellos," the metaphor of Nicole Kidman peeing on Zac Efron, the power of lieracy against the mentally ill and homocidal, the physicality needed to be a serial killer, and the disadvantages of having your head chopped off.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 36 includes:

-J.J. Abrams will direct "Star Wars," so how many lens flares should we expect?

-Despite disliking "donnie Darko," Eric watches "Southland Tales" for some reason.

-"Seeking a Friend for the End of the World": Do you save the heroin addiction for the final day?

-Ben reaches new lows of despairity talking about "The Paperboy" and "The Master," his worst films of 2012.

-This Week's Pitch -- Westerns!

-Eric pitches "The Crow" set during the Wild West.

-Nate pitches a neo-Western with today's bankers as your villainous black hats.

-Ben pitches a monster reunion Western as well as adapts "Les Miserables" as a Western.

-This Week's Game -- Versus!

-In this new game, an actor is chosen and then two roles he or she played will duke it out for hypothetical supremacy. They pit roles from Tom Hanks, Russell Crowe, and Christopher Walken.


Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_36.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:13pm EDT
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It's the second week of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" spotlight on favorite genres, and this week it's Nate's turn to revel in one of his -- film noir. The guys then play a reverse version of Disney-fy It by transforming Disney animated films into film noir settings. Along the way they talk about the magic logistics of "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" and perfecting the perfect child, whether we should celebrate celebrity failures, the weird possibility of Channing Tatum in blackface in "Magic Mike," Ben's theory as to why Nate truly loves "Silver Linings Playbook" (hint: Jennifer Lawrence and Lycra), the comical scheduling misfortune for "Gangster Squad" with public shootings, Nick Nolte's similarity to bears, a naked P.I., Belle's Stockholm syndrome in "Beauty and the Beast," and reasons why the "Inspector Gagdet" movie failed as relates to film noir.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 35 includes:

-Ben's Nazi dream: what does it mean? Probably exactly what you think.

-Manti Te'o: why should we care? Also, can car accidents cause leukemia?

-Ben compares "Silver Linings Playbook" to an indie Adam Sandler movie.

-"Gangster Squad": like "The Unotuchables" and "L.A. Confidential" had a baby missing vital crhomosomes.

-This Week's Pitch -- Film Noir!

-Nate pitches a kid detective, a noir obsessive narrating his own adventures, and a mysterious case about a certain someone with a missing girlfriend.

-Ben pitches a lot of ideas including a sci-fi/fantasy detective, "Sam Phibian."

-Eric pitches a superhero detective and a heist gone wrong, told through the POV of a dying dude.

-This Week's Game -- De-Disney-fy It!

-The guys translate "Beauty and the Beast," "The Lion King," and "Brave" into film noirs.

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_35.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:20pm EDT
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And they're back with part two, folks. Listen to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" finish what they started in podcast 33, finally getting around to their pitches for Nazi-sploitation films and a game of the Gut Check Challenge.

Also available on iTunes!

This Week's Pitch -- Nazi-sploitation!

-Eric pitches the ultimate battleS: Nazis vs. Blackula!

-Nate pitches a horror thriller where pregnant women ar einseminated with the sperm of Hitler!

-Ben pitches a Fantastic Voyage into the body of hitler, as well as many others.

-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!

-The guys compete to outbid how many movies with specific actors they can name.

           Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_34.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:38pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and have so much to say that we had to halve this week's episode. Part One concerns the recent Oscar nominations as well as the boys rehashing their thoughts on the movies they've seen since the break. They often get sidetracked with silliness, as they do, so get used to Ben arguing an ethical stance against "Zero Dark Thirty" and its depiction of toture one minute and the next the guys giggling over the concept of a porno version of "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" which alos happens to star Maggie Smith. Stay tuned in the next couple days for Part Two which will contain this week's pitch and game.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: pitch_33.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:37pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches have one last gift to offer 2012, having recorded earlier but held on for this moment. With guest star Chris Holben, the guys talk all about the holiday movies they've seen and then fix movies from 2012. Wait till you get a load of Ben's take on "Looper." They end the podcast revealing their individual lists of the best and worst movies of 2012. Enjoy, world, and a merry 2013 to you all with extra Sons of Pitches to bless your new year.

Also available on iTunes!

This episode includes:

-Would you inseminate yourself with the sperm of Ernest?

-The guys review "Les Miserables," "This is 40," "Red Dawn" and "Zero Dark Thirty"

-"The Hobbit": an unexpectedly long and self-indulgent journey

-To 48 frames per second or to not?

-This Week's Pitch -- Redo a 2012 movie!

-Ben pitches different takes on "Avengers," "Dark Shadows," and "Looper"

-Nate pitches a new direction for "The Raven"

-Eric fixes "Brave" with relative ease
-Chris Holben pitches a different take on "The Dark Knight Rises"

-Bonus Discussion -- Best/Worst/Underrated Films of 2012!

-Each person lists their 10 best films of the year, bottom 5 worst, and one underrated film worth checking out.
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_32.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:43pm EDT
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It's a special time of year and the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are in a holiday mood, talking about their favorite winter holiday films and then pitching their own. The game also gets a holiday turn as the guys play Genre Swap, turning horror movies into Christmas classics. Along the way the guys get cuaght tlaking about what the name of the "Kwanzaa menora" is, accidentally ripping off Kevin Smith while simultaneously inspiring him, 2013 calendar of Mayan harsassment, Ben's back tattoo of the "8 Crazy Nights" poster, Peter Jackson tampering with Ben's car brakes, the natural evolution of Goblin King chin testicles, Ben's mother's special Christmas message for him, Ben's Kwanzaa activities with Eric's mother and a pterodactyl, the reluctant zombie, how to properly be eaten by Galactus, the Dirty Sons of Pitches seal of approval, and the sad unknown history behind Ray Combs' hidden life.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 31 includes:

-Ben shares his new title as Kwanzaa ambassador and gives good reason why this should not be.

-We lived! Take THAT dead Mayans!

-The guys share their favorite holiday movies, and the conversation takes a turn toward Ben's back hair grooming habbits.

-Ben can't decide which he hates more, "The Hobbit" or "A Christmas Story 2."

-Eric dislikes "Hitchcock" so much it encourages Ben's mom to come chim in. Yeah!

-This Week's Pitch -- Holiday Movie!

-Ben pitches Christmas super teams, Christmas zombies, and a conqueror Claus.

-Nate pitches a slasher based around Kwanzaa and a racist killer with a catchy acronym.

-Eric pitches both DC and Marvel-related specials, plus with the Mayan apocalypse the way it should be.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-The guys turn inappropriate horror movies into destined-to-be-beloved holiday classics and with the added help of Ben's mom! 

        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_31.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have officially achieved MILF status, turning 30. The guys get into an involved conversation about the ability to separate art from the artist, inspired from Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash's fall from grace. The guys then pitch trilogy re-dos or new takes on movies that have yet to get to trilogy status, then they play a game of Sequel-ize It with trilogy editions for other film franchises. Along the way they tlak about yettis, the formation of the actual words "I really enjoyed Chris Tucker," an appreciation of "Jeepers Creepers 2" and a question on how it goes about upgrading itself, the film catalogue of Woody Allen, the hypocrisy of "The Hangover" filmmakers taking a moral stand, personal stories of walkouts in movies, the font of where love comes from, werewolf connections to polio, the nature of the two children trapped inside Ben's mind, and the mobius strip of potential "Back to the Future" sequels.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 30 includes:

-"Being Elmo" just got a very interesting footnote.

-Can we separate art from the artist? Can we enjoy the works from people we abhor?

-"Killing Them Softly": What's with all the walkouts?

-"Rise of the Guardians": Ben and Eric love it, Nate does not and apparently admits to not having a soul in the process.

-This Week's Pitch -- Trilogy Additions/Red-dos!

-Nate and Eric both pitch alternatives to the misfire "Spider-Man 3" both without the Sandman and Venom!

-Insipired by Nate's pan, Ben develops a third film for "Rise of the Guardians" with the subtitle, "Holiday-caust"

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-ize It!

-The guys work together to develop third additions for franchises like "Clerks" and "Kill Bill"

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_30.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:02pm EDT
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Surprise world, Ben lives! Long-feared dead, he returns to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" to wreck his specific brand of havoc once more on the movie world. The guys take note of the recent election and then transition into pitching movies with a political edge, finally ending with a game of "Re-Cast It" where they cast Lincoln through the different decades. Along the way they discuss strange topics like Ernest Borgnine's cause of his demise, votes per steps taken, Obama's looming tax on manservants, the collective ignorance of backgammon, Keira Knightley's trouble filling out a corset, "Pie in the Sky: Special Vicitms Unit," Billy Jack as America's favorite kung-fu Native American action hero, Lincoln's assasination being related to the apes rising in the future, Rhianna's slam-dunk chances for playing Mary-Todd Lincoln in the 2022 big-screen Lincoln biopic, and Katherine Hepburn as Ben!

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 29 includes:

-The guys briefly rehash the recent presidential election and their thoughts on the results and the future of the GOP. This does not last long.

-Ben catches up on a slew of movies like "The Hunger Games," "Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," "Safety Not Guaranteed," and "Wreck-It Ralph"

-Nate talks about "The Sessions" and "Breaking Dawn Part 2" and says both are about people who don't feel anything below the neck.

-Spielberg's "Lincoln" : The 13th Ammendment: The Movie. A high-gloss civics lesson. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Political Thriller!

-Ben pitches a movie about franking... where Congress gets free mail priviledges. Did you know this? Where is the outage, America?

-Eric pitches a behind-the-scenes film covering FDR's polio and a spinoff for "Pie in the Sky"

-Nate pitches a thriller where a governor is extorted for a pardon.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-The gang recasts the role of Abe Lincoln through six different decades of bearded actors.


Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_29.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:19pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing a central member. without the pressence of Ben, the guys soldier on with special guest George and pitch violent movies based on children's games or chidlren's movies based upon violent video games. while sending out a search party for Ben, the guys pass the time by also talking about what Ben's ethereal activities would include with the cast of "Angels in the Outfield," the quesitonable decisions behind candy cigarettes, the eventual repalcement of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" with animals, George vs. Nate on the hate-ability "That's My Boy," why James Bond doesn't crack jokes, how "Skyfall" takes a page form "Home Alone," the sadness that was "Piranha 3DD," what Brando's up to in heaven, and a very special cameo appearance at the very end from a magical man and his reindeer.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 28 includes:

-George channels the spirit of Ben to make us all feel better and hit our profanity quota.

-George tries to rank the crappiness of recent crap-fests "That's My Boy," "Rock of Ages" and "Madea's Witness Protection."

-Timothy Dalton, your defense as James Bond has come!

-"Wreck-It Ralph": too plot heavy for kids? Another rip-off of "The Iron Giant"?

-This Week's Pitch -- Children's Movie/Violent Video Game or Vice Versa!

-Nate pitches "Grand Theft Auto: Candyland." It's about what you'd expect.

-Eric pitches a look at the fraying mind of Mario and the brotherly tension of mental illness.

-George pitches a harrowing look at "Pac Man" in the vein of "Thinner" and the guys chime in to make it even darker.

-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!

-The guys try to outbid each other with how many movies from different actors they can name. First one to three points is victorious.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com-

Direct download: pitch_28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:05pm EDT
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The Internet almost broke with the geek-shattering news that Disney had purchased Lucasarts, notably "Star Wars," for $4 billion. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" assess what this means for the future of the franchise and then play another round of pitch redemption where they redo previous pitches. Finally, the trio tries out a new game, Pitch-or-Treat where they randomly draw a pitch and make it up on the spot. Along the way they talk about Eric's uncanny ability to sense the oncoming presence of orgies in movies, the greatness of the cancelled "Mockingbird Lane" pilot, the prospect of the "Star Wars" prequels getting entombed in the Disney Vault, the stance hobos take on the "Star Wars" prequels, Tyler Perry in action mode in "Alex Cross," Ben's essays on what not to stick the male member within, Thomas Jefferson's swivel obsession, and what a "Casablanca" sequel set 1000 years in the future might be like.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 27 includes:

-The guys offer to sell their services to Disney for the modest sum of $2 billion.

-So... being violated by a hobo or watching the "Star Wars" prequels? The results will surprise you...

-"Flight": possibly the only movie to posit that drugs and alcohol can SAVE lives...

-Nate and Eric sing the praises of "Cloud Atlas" while Ben was left wondering what the point of it was, besides proof that Hugo Weaving is a powerfully unattractive woman.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption II!

-Eric pitches several monster-themed movies including Franken-girlfriend.

-Nate pitches "Thomas Jefferson: American Werewolf".

-Ben pitches a fantasy drama with an unusual romance between a damsel and a dragon.

-This Week's Game -- Pitch-or-Treat!

-The guys roll a dice, read a pitch subject, and pitch a movie on the spot.

     Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_27.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:36pm EDT
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It's a monstrously large edition of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Sadly without 1/3 of our crew (we miss you Eric), the guys gain two favorite guest stars -- Drew and George. Together the guys tackle the classic Universal monsters like Dracula and the Wolfman, they pitch new properties based on these classic character, and then finish up with a game of What That Is? Along the way the guys chat about other strange topics like Liam Neeson's daughter being taken by wolves, the music potential of "Monster Mass" parody, George's harried relationship with Weird Al, the evil Mr. Ed encouraging people to kill, the lack of good comic timing with porn stars, Googling "Phister", reanimated Jerry Orbach as the spokesman for monsters, why werewolves should just get a calendar, the first acts of President Frankenstein's Monster, being haunted by a dead person's feet, and a man who would urinate golden kidney stones.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 26 includes:

-Drew challenges everyone to a table-top game and divulges a movie he's seen besides "Rango."

-"Jack or Jill": you HAVE to have sex with one of them? Choose your fate!

-Why have vampires gotten so popular lately? Is "Twilight" to blame?

-So... is it Frankenstein or Frankenstein's monster?

-This Week's Pitch -- Classic Monsters!

-Nate pitches "The Creature From the Blacker Lagoon" as a modern parable on race.

-George pitches a version of "Being There" starring Frankenstein's monster.

-Drew pitches a cyberpunk future version of the Phantom of the Opera.

-Ben pitches a monster all-star team, a Jekyl and Hyde TV show, and a monster support group.

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-"Dead Man's Shoes" (2004): The horrifying sequel to the sad cancer song "Christmas Shoes"?

-"Chasing the Kidney Stone" (1996): One nefarious grandfather's scheme to shrink his family members and insert them into his urethra?

Ben's blog: http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/

         Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

-

Direct download: pitch_26.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT
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Drew is back and he'sready to join in on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discussion over the exploding subgenre of found footage movie. The guys talk about what makes a good found footage movie, the opportunities and limitations of the genre, and then pitch their own found footage films and turn other movies into found footage films for this week's game. Along the way the chaps chat about Johnny Depp fatigue, Paul Ryan/Joe Biden slash fiction, the ease of slipping into racism when doing Madea impressions, why Kirk Douglas was trying to take out Melissa Leo at the Oscars, Ben's idea for the grossest movie of all time, what masturbating demons would do during their down-time, writing a found footage movie in a weekend, found footage vs. POV films, having "Thinner" become a Jenny Craig success story/found footage movie, and yettis vs. egg-making clowns.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 25 includes:

-The Madea Challenge has been replaced by the "Streaming Steaming Netflix Challenge" with the first punishment for the loser... to watch "Tooth Fairy 2" starring Larry the Cable Guy.

-The guys sing the praises of "Argo" and question the necessisty of "Frankenweenie"

-"V/H/S": a found footage anthology film. Instead of 80 minutes of waiting for payoff, now it's only 15! Progress!

-Why the explosion of found footage movies recently?

-This Week's Pitch -- Found Footage Movie!

-Nate pitches a husband/wife bitter divorce thriller, and a gang standoff film.

-Eric pitches an anti-drug flick and a diary of a man dealing with terminal illness.

-Drew pitches a found footage rom-com and high-fantasy flick.

-Ben pitches an Owellian police state found footage revolution.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap !

-The gang adapt other movies into the found footage concept, including "Jurassic Park" and "Independence Day"

And make sure to check out Drew's blog and storytelling expertise for hire.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_25.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:05pm EDT
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Welcome back special guest Chris Holben to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches"and he comes out fighting, taking the minority opinion of the group when it comes to the time travel thriller, "Looper." In honor of that film, the guys pitch sci-fi crime movies and then play a game of Recast It where they take the premise of "Looper" (young and old versions of a character) and try it with different races and genders. Along the way they chat about relations between your present self and your opposite gender future self, the satirical nature of Judge Dredd and what Paul Thomas Anderson's take would be on it, the limitations of the Kansas City mob, "Star Wars: SVU," why you shouldn't strike deals with dragons without a lawyer present, the eventual death of ole' Hook Hands, the nebulous nature of the M in MILF, and Ben's likeness to Indonesian strongman Suharto.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 24 includes:

-Nate wants to know why the protagonisst in "Taken 2" aren't cited as terrorists.

-Eric and Nate agree that "The Master" is masterfully boring.

-The great "Looper" debate: why is the future mob so low in ambition? Spoilers follow.

-Emily Blunt sure knows her way around an axe, if you know what I mean.

-Find out what the code "watching the Buckeyes" means.... and taste the mystery.

-This Week's Pitch -- Sci-fi Crime Movie!

-Chris Holben pitches a "Star Wars" bounty hunter movie.

-Eric pitches a film with a little of everything: steam punk, dragons, and sticking it to the South.

-Nate pitches a world where the rich can afford clones to take their place for executions (i.e. probably just four years from now).

-Ben pitches a clone heist, time travel gangs, and alien encounters with some frisky E.T.s.

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The guys recast "Looper" with different types of actors in the young/old characters.

-Everyone tries casting their 30-year older versions of themselves.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT
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The British are coming, the British are coming. No, they've already invaded our televisions. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discuss their favorite British TV shows and then adapt a British Tv property for an Americna audience. Then they play a game of Defend Yourself with the films of Alan Moore's graphic novels, tackling the hardest one, "The League of Extroadinary Gentlemen." Along the way they discuss Robocop's need for self-love to be designed in his costume, the depressing heights of "Law and Order SVU: Russia," the truth that all undecided voters are really Eskimoes, the vastly different endings for the British and American versions of "Life on Mars," Ben's Mr. Bucket as the Most Interesting Man in the World, the unhealthy state of Richard Griffiths, crime inspiring pie-making, how "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows" ripped off "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," and Eric's unique vacation plans with hillbillies.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 23 includes:

-New Robocop: if you have a future crime-ridden hellish city, it's insulting if it's not Detroit.

-Why do we have to remake British shows but not Canadian shows? Racism?

-Ben lays into "Elementary," the lame CBS imitation of "Sherlock." A female Watson? Congratulations, you've reinvented the wheel, CBS!

-The surprising amount of American-to-Britain translations. A British version of "The Jersey Shore" with a country with no New Jersey?

-This Week's Pitch -- British TV Translation!

-Eric brings back the show about a cop and his crime-related baked goods, "Pie in the Sky."

-Ben wants to bring back what may be one of the most offensive TV shows in British history.

-Nate brings "Luther" to the States and ditches with all that will they/won't they BS.

-Together the guys imagine what an American version of "Dr. Who" would look like.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-The guys take the challenge to defend the 2003 film "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."

     Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_23.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:28pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are blending fantasy with reality, taking a look at alternative worlds and their interaction with our own. The guys pitch projects about an alternative world and then play the newest game, Re-Direct It, where they attach a famous director to a different project. Along the way the guys talk about what to do with waffles when no one's looking, how "Expendables 2" is really a remake of "Street Fighter," perfect DNA cross-breeding with Rashida Jones, Jon Hamm, and Brangelina, that Superman would be the next target of Tea Party outrage, Sarah Palin's influence on the winning football team in "Undefeated," applying Pokemon's catch-phrase to venereal diseases, the necessity of a Hitler Universe, limiting your steps after the five-fingered palm of death, and the many talents of Jon Hamm.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 22 includes:

-The guys all confess their collective man crushes on actor extraodinaire, Jon Hamm.

-"Killer Joe": Not waiting for the KFC endorsement.

-Ben and Nate deconstruct the many, many faults of pseudo-documentary, "2016: Obama's America"

-This is going to be the "evidence" your crackpot uncle cites to prove his opinion is right.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fictional/Alternative World Crossover

-Eric pitches a realistic take on Pokemon, a world of legal cock fighting with cute monsters.

-Nate pitches an action movie around a school for kids from parallel dimensions -- "Parallel U."

-Ben pitches "Copyright Infringement PD" to police the literary characters entering our world, and a fantasy mating competition where one nerd controls the fate of all realities.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Direct It!

-The guys attach famous directors to other works, like Kevin Smith's "Star Wars" and Quentin Tarantino's "Little Women."

          Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: podcast_22.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a look at the misunderstood plight of the poor villain. The guys examine some of their favorite movie villains, discuss what makes a good villain, and then share villain-centric pitches. And now that it's September, the guys take one final look at the movies of summer 2012 and cite their favorites, dissapointments, and thoughts as a whole. Along the way they talk about things like how awful Boba Fett is as a bounty hunter, Ben's criminal empire on movie piracy, how one rebels against your whale parents, the prospect of God as a criminal accomplice (He's got some priors), the end of "Cemetery Man," Ben's sudden falsetto voice, a very fleshy asterisk, the powerful sway of porn to decide technological battles (VHS vs. Beta, etc.), a kelp-only diet, Ben's hatred of Julianne Moore, and Tom Hardy cannot be killed.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 21 includes:

-Ready for one whale of a tale? Wait til you hear about the girl-raised-by-whales movie, "Beached."

-Ben finally found a gritty moive that gets the Batman story right: "The Dark Knight: An XXX Parody."

-What makes a really great villain?

-This Week's Pitch -- Villain Story!

-Eric pitches a Harley Quinn/Joke movie in the style of "Frost/Nixon"

-Nate pitches a story about the real threat at the RNC convention this week, the mischievious, invisible Obama!

-Ben pitches a "Con Air" spinoff and a villainous alernative to TV's "Eureka"

-Bonus Conversation -- Summer 2012 at the Movies!

-The guys talk about the highs and lows this year with summer movies... mostly lows.

-Indie movies and the superhero films saved this summer.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_21.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:30pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going into dark dark places with this podcast. In honor of the brute, manly action flick "The Expendables 2," the guys are pitching the ultimate 80s movie and/or the manliest movie imaginable. Then for this week's game they porno-ize "The Expendables 2," a movie none of them have seen. Along the way the guys get caught up in weird detours, notably a woman who has a tattoo inside a body cavity, the proclivities of Meryl Streep and her many "Oscars," the irony of the "Breaking Dawn: Part 2" poster taglines, the Bourne franchise if he became powerfully stupid, whether "family films" should have gay content (hint: we vote sure), and what the "Expendables" actors scream when they are spent.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 20 includes:

-Get ready for your world never to be the same when you hear about... Maria Louise Del Rosario and her unique call to fame.

-Learn why exactly the Academy gave Meryl Streep her third Oscar. Keeps her limber.

-Ben loves "Paranorman" even better than "The Nightmare Before Christmas."

-This Week's Pitch -- Ulimtate 80s Movie and/or Manliest Movie!

-Ben pitches a WWF wrestling version of "The Expendables" as superheroes.

-Eric pitches an ensemble adventure starring a construction worker, a police officer, a Navy cadet, a biker, and a Native American.

-Nate pitches a prison break film and a time-travel movie where dumb hipsters learn the 80s sucked.

-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!

-The gang take the over-the-hill all-star action vehicle "The Expendables 2" and push it into gay porn... which is not as hard as you would think.

        Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

-

Direct download: pitch_20.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:30am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking well-known movie worlds and expanding them, just like your minds. After a roundup of comic book movie franchise news, and a discussion over recent releases "The Campaign" and "The Bourne Legacy," the focus is on continuing a franchise with a new lead character. No game this week but instead is a continued discussion over movie sequels the gents felt were better than the original. Along the way they talk about strange topics such as split loyalties between America and a feral animal known for the University of Michigan, a complete misreading of the film "Brazil," the improbability of North Korea invading the U.S., Ben's non-ironic defense of Aquaman, the weird Nazi doctor pressence in "Baby Geniuses 2," Superman as potential date rapist and American hobo, the true nature of death panels and their relevance to "Saw 6," and Paul Verhoeven's negotiations over the plurality of women's breasts.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 19 includes:

-Corrections: Sinbad is cancer-free and now fair game for mockery.

-"Red Dawn" not just a jingoistic fantasy, now with extra racism!

-Superhero news roundup and what happens when giant space clouds get it ON!

-Nate complains he only got 2/3 of a movie with "The Bourne Legacy"

-This Week's Pitch -- Franchise Continuation!

-Eric pitches a "Back to the Future" film from the point of view of one family subjugated to time fluctuations by the finicky Marty McFly.

-Nate pitches a new "Baby Geniuses" movie with plans to kill all the baby geniuses.

-Ben has several pitches extending the worlds of "Pleasantville," "Fight Club," and "Highlander."

-Bonus Discussion -- Superior Sequels

-The gang share sequels they feel are better than the original film, including "Halloween III," "Saw 6," "Aladdin: Return of the Jafar," and "Evil Dead II"

Direct download: pitch_19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:50pm EDT
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Thanks for sticking with us. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and have much to talk about. The guys discuss their involvement in the 48 hour film festival last weekend, movies they've seen, specifically the "Total Recall" remake, then it's off to pitch movies about technology gone wrong and come up with comeback vehicles for the former Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Along the way they also discussthe nature of God's body parts, 80s summer camp us vs. them metaphors, how Adam West's TV show saved Batman, the theory of Chris Tucker's potential connection to Osama bin Laden, whether Warwick Davis is the greatest actor who ever lived, the Madea room, recording in a houseboat, the sex robot suffrage movement, how "Last Action Hero" is an underrated film, and the sad circumstances of Sinbad's life.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 18 includes:

-The guys talk shop about their short film for the 48 hour film festival in Columbus.

-Can Batman ever retire? This is exactly what's wrong with America!

-Eric found two movies worse than "Dark Shadows" -- "Mirror Mirror" and "The Watch"

-Ben feels condescended to by the three-boobed lady in the "Total Recall" remake.

-Nate's mind is blown by the theory that Ferris Bueller is a Tyler Durden-esque imaginary figure.

-This Week's Pitch -- Technology Gone Wrong!

-Eric and Nate independently come up with the exact same pitch!

-Ben pitches tales of sex robots, teleportation, and "grey goo" (it's people!).

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys spitball comeback vehicles for the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger.

            Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking the week off after having competed in the Columbus 48-hour film festival, a regional competition where applicants write, direct, shoot and edit a short film in a 48-hour window given certain particulars and a randomly selected genre. The boys are tapped out, but they'll discuss the process and results in next week's news segment. Stay tuned and we suggest giving the previous podcast a listen or two in the meantime.

Category:general -- posted at: 11:15am EDT
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This week the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest, Drew, who's more than ready to get his hands dirty with this show of shows. The gang attempts to come up with the most offensive pitches possible, so you know this podcast is going to be a memorable one as well as a disturbing look into the dark reaches of the human mind. Along the way the guys talk about LARP-ing, the matronly wisdom of the Madea movies, the continuation of the East Coast/West Coast rap fued with Tupcac's hologram, the literal title demands for "the Dark Knight Rises," what accent Tom Hardy is going for as Bat villain Bane, the instinct within all orphans, and the long odds of putting a bunch of coats on a bunch of orphans.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 17 includes:

-Drew explains about tabletop games including... Panty Explosion. This exists!

-Drew makes the deciding vote over who wins from last week's battle over "Donnie Darko."

-The guys discuss their mixed feelings over "The Dark Knight Rises" in spoiler-free form.

-Ben admits that "The Avengers" is at least a movie, something he cannot say about "Twilight."

-This Week's Pitch -- Most Offensive Pitch!

-The guys all take turns pitching what may be the most offesnive pitch properties imaginable. You'll have to listen for all the dirty details.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-And then the guys take one of those offensive pitches and give it the Disney treatment.

-Ben finally comes forward with three movies he liked from 2012 thus far.

          And make sure to check out Drew's blog and storytelling expertise for hire.

     Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_17.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:43pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest star, favorite fan e-mailer, Megan, who complained about Eric's pan of "Donnie Darko" and threatened to do very bad things to him with a "rusty saw blade." She made a special trip to inflict maximum justice on Eric. Together, the gang pitch darker adaptations and interpretations of nursery rhyme and fairy tale stories, and then Eric and Megan finally put to rest whether "Donnie Darko" sucks or rules. They'd like to also apologize for the crinkling sound. Also during the conversation, they talk about whether Olivia Wilde was alive in the late 80s, whether Captain Planet and Gaia ever got it on, Mark Wahlberg's comedic range, examples of modern-day feminism, the eternal lonliness of Team Ben, whether horses should be tasked with repairing dead people, the Madea challenge, and how the fate of the world rests with a very sensitive part of Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 16 includes:

-The guys welcome special guest and famous listener e-mailer/threatener of Eric, Megan!

-When it comes to "Capt. Planet," is the Heart kid the weak link or a potential world-domination player? If only he'd use his crummy powers on people instead of monkeys.

-Team Ben: an island of lonely sadness?

-Nate says "Ted" is exactly what he expected from a big screen Seth MacFaralne film: suck

-This Week's Pitch -- Fairy Tale Adaptation!

-Nate pitches a "Citizen Kane"-style expose on depressed record exec, Humpty Dumpty.

-Eric adapts a short story that his 7th grade teacher called "too dark."

-Megan pitches a Cinderella with intense foot pain and deals with the Devil.

-Ben pitches a monster-of-the-week TV series about a team of supernatural mercenaries.

-This Week's Game -- Court of Public Opinion!

-In a new game, Eric and Megan debate the merits of "Donnie Darko" and cross-examine one another.

-The guys need YOU to vote and say which side you found more persuasive. We'll have the results next week.

        VOTE by sending your selection to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_16.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:36pm EDT
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Oooo folks, it got all kinds of serious on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcast this week. Ben and Nate duke it out over their differing opinions on the summer blockbuster "The Amazing Spdier-Man" and Eric tries to play referee. This contentious debate lasts so long that the guys had to scrap the game this week. After the air clears, the guys reboot previous pitches from the show. Along the way the conversation drifts to the sexual performance aid of the podcast, morning news DJs covering serious news events, whether good mothers should know the extent of their children's genitalia, the Ernest franchise, the preciptious danger Christmas always seems to finds itself in, but mostly it's all about "Spider-Man."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 15 includes:

-Once again Funny or Die.com rips off one of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" board game pitches.

-Eric and Nate greatly recommend checking out quirky indie romance "Safety Not Guaranteed"

-"The Amazing Spider-Man": Too much same-ness? Closer to the comic? Reboot? Enjoy.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption!

-The gang reboots one of their earlier pitches with a new/better one.

-Nate pitches a superhero movie for the forgotten classic character, Arm-Fall-Off-Boy!

-Eric pitches a grown-up version of the cartoon "Doug."

-Ben pitches a zombie-apocalypse aftermath drama series. How do you move on after dismembering your friends and neighbors?

-This Week's Game -- None!

-They literally spend so long debating "Amazing Spider-Man" that the game had to be scrapped this week. Stay tuned next week for a possible guest star.

        Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29am EDT
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It's the moment the world has been waiting for. Internet celebrity and show mascot Chris Holben joins the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" as a very special guest star. The guys talk about 2012 in movies since they've reached the halfway mark, and then the guys adapt video games into movies and then adapt difficult properties into video games. Along the way, with the aid of Chris Holben, the guys find conversations about Chris Holben masks, how ice skating sexual intercourse is the manliest thing possible, wondering when "Oriental" became kinda racist, "Cop Out" vs. "The Other Guys," Chris Holben's refusal to let his sister come onto the podcast, "Brave"s uniboob maid character, how everyone invariably tries to build a phallus in "Minecraft," Ben's little-seen but still existing moral center, the "Fox News" game and its xenophobia and rage bars, bullet-reflecting muscles, and seeing how the sausage gets made.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 14 includes:

-Chris Holben details how his life has changed forever since being mentioned on the podcast, including exclusive details on "Chris Holbern 2."

-Chris Holben has some very choice words for Ben over Ms. Jennifer Lawrence.

-The guys each give their 3 best movies of 2012 and the worst so far.

-Ben says "Brave" is the second-worst Pixar movie; why must feisty heroines be so vague and nonspecific when dealing with witches?

-This Week's Pitch -- Video Games!

-Chris Holben pitches a "Minecraft" movie along the lines of "Inception"

-Nate brings "Minesweeper" to life in the vein of "The Hurt Locker"

-Eric pitches the hottest new medical drama -- "Dr. Mario."

-Ben offers "Sonic the Hedgehog" as a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman vehicle and "Pac Man" as an existential fantasy/horror movie.

-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!

-The gang has to take a property not likely to be a video game and make it so.

-Nate pitches a "Hoarders" game and details his dislike for "Family Guy"'s sense of comedy with his game that is interuppted by nonstop nonsensical cut scenes.

-"The Expendables: The Game:" Now you can download every crummy action star from the 80s!

-Ben makes "The Truman Show" into a "Sims" stye game, then turns the old Rankin Bass toons

Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:58am EDT
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This week the guys complete the Trilogy of Geek with Eric getting a chance to geek out over "Star Wars." The "Dirty Sons of Picthes" gang extend the "Star Wars" saga into the sequels that George Lucas says he'll never make after the fanboy backlash he got from his prequels, then the guys play a game of Genre Swap with the first "Star Wars" flick. Along the way, the guys have some strange conversations about the exclusive nature of the Disney princess line, evil Wall Street sleep bankers, the antebellum Southern "Dirty Sons of Pitches" doppelgangers, whether all the re-remembered memories are necessary in the Bourne franchise, their favorite animated films, old racist cartoons, whether Rancors can qualify as Jedis, Hutt lifespans and pregnancies, the long con of the South, and how green skin magnifies the hotness of women, especially those with red hair.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 13 includes:

-Ben apologizes (!) for one (!) component he felt may have been misogynistic from last week (only one?).

-Nate and Eric differ on "Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and say "Brave" is second-tier Pixar.

-The guys discuss the current state of animation, 3D, 2D, and anime tentacle rape porn.

-Is the "Disney Vault" really the threat they make it out to be? What are they hiding inside?

-This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize "Star Wars"

-Eric takes over for George Lucas and begins a new trilogy, Episodes 7-9

-What are the limits of The Force? Can it be used to un-Force someone de-Forcing your Force powers?

-The one who will bring balance to the Force.... born of a... taint.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-The guys swap "Star Wars" into the genres of spy thriller, screwball romance, and Western

-Stay tuned next week for a very special guest star.

             Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_13.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:46pm EDT
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The Trilogy of Geek continues with Part II! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are spinning off in all sorts of directions with our first podcast recorded at night. So in this "after dark" edition, you get the guys pitching their own spin-off movie or TV show and then they recast the TV show "Game of Thrones." Along the way they have strange detours about the cannibalistic nature of the Rock Eater in "The Neverending Story," Goerge W. Bush's head on a pike becoming a collector's item, alien abortions, Nate retiring the Thora Birch Hottest Woman of the Year title, Ben's workplace argument over whether Ben in "Ben" was a rat or a mouse, kicky boots, whether Alan Cumming has ever been good in anything, House Ass Face, the redundancy of porno-izing "Game of Thrones," Jodie Foster vs. Ed Norton, and Nate's refusal to accept Brooke Shields as an actress.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 12 includes:

-Listener mail! One of our female listeners has a message for Eric over his pan of "Donnie Darko"

-Discover what the "right stuff" meant for our early space travelers.

-Eric says "Prometheus" will not play well in Kansas or for people who like plots to make sense

-Nate and Ben almost come to blows over a heated hot or not debate over the attractiveness of actress Jennifer Lawrence and whether or not she is "chubby" (Nate: hot, Ben: not).

-Ben talks about a weird, grisly, German animated film "Felidae." Not for cat lovers.

-This Week's Pitch -- Spin-offs!

-Eric gives a badass character from "Serenity" his own movie, and with added Christina Hendricks zero-gravity nudity.

-Ben pitches, what else, a "Star Trek" spin-off

-Nate pitches an epic miniseries following the 300-year reign of the Targaryens in "Game of Thrones"

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The guys recast HBO's "Game of Thrones" series as if it aired in the 1980s (quick, how many little people actors can you come up with?)

-A Brat Pack reunion in Westeros?

           Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:54pm EDT
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Did you miss them? The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from their brief hiatus and are bringing old franchises back to life as well for this week's pitch. This week begins our Trilogy of Geek, and Ben gets to geek out first. The guys catch up with the movies they saw recently, then Eric and Ben play a round of "Defend Yourself." As always, the guys get off on conversation tangents like Sir Isaac Newton's pressure to come up more laws that could be as good as his first three, the Club for Understanding Nutbearing Trees, how Hollywood keeps ripping us off, how Kristen Stewart will never be the "fairest of them all," inside vagina POV shots, the eternal mystery of how many "Police Academy" movies there are in existence, psychic doctor TV show, and making sure to name your castle and your speedboat the same name for future clarity.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 11 includes:

-What you waited for: Isaac Newton/da Vinci fan fiction.

-The guys run through their thoughts on a battery of movies seen during the hiatus.

-"Hitler Meets Christ" Surely these two might have some differences.

-Canadian mobsters are the most pleasant, considerate guys who will ever shoot you in the back of the head and bury you in a shallow grave.

-This Week's Pitch -- Revive a Dead Franchise!

-Eric turns "The Evil Dead" into a post-apocalyptic TV show

-Nate resurrects the "Police Academy" franchise as well as a TV show no one else on this earth remembers ("The 100 Lives of Captain Black Jack Savage")

-Ben takes his beloved "Star Trek" into a bold new frontier: on a mysterious island with weird crap.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Ben defends the Shatner-directed "Star Trek" nadir, "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"

-On the flipside, Eric defends his hatred of cult favorite "Donnie Darko"

-The guys get tied up in knots trying to figure out whether Donnie should have just stayed in bed

               Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:56pm EDT
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Don't have a cow, man! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reliving the glory that were the 1990s. So snap on your slap braclet, break out your Trapper Keeper, and get ready for nostalgia mixed with our signature pop-culture insanity. The guys talk about getting their first press review, pitch their version of the ultimate 90s movie collaborations, and then take famous 90s movies and adapt them to wildly different genres. As usual, Nate, Eric, and Ben also find time to talk about yogurt fetishes, extreme marketing, quad breasts, extreme therapy sessions of Kate Winslet, where actor Wallace Shawn hoards his gold, the ration of computer hacking to kung-fu for a 90s movie, and what Ben would do with a Chik-Fil-A in his own home (hint: dispute the existence of God).

We're taking a short time off, but in between the next podcast (Episode 11) we'll be releasing an audio commentary for a film available upon Netflix streaming and also a "Best of: Volume One" for newcomers. Keep coming back valued listeners because we'll have plenty more to entertain your ear holes with.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 10 includes:

-The guys get into an extended conversation about GoGurt before they even introduce their names

-We got reviewed by another podcast -- "Poddammit." Affirmation that what you're listening to is awesome!

-Nate tears apart "Shark Night 3D" and villainous rednecks using terms like "moral relativism"

-Ben found the only thing that could top "Total Recal"'s three-boobed woman... a four-boobed woman

-This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate 90s Movie!

-Eric pitches an adaptation of "Toe Jam and Earl" with Will Smith and Jim Carrey

-Nate pithes a romantic comedy/girl power all-star venture (there will be pogs as well)

-Ben pitches a movie that has surf skaters, gold, and Cowabunga Mountain

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-We swap "Forrest Gump," "Home Alone," "Clueless," "Clerks," "Titanic," "Jurassic Park," and "Armegeddon"

-Nate defends "Titanic" and the principles of weight displacement, volume, and floating doors

                   Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest, George, as we take a look back to TV shows we cherished as children and update them to into modern re-imaginings. The guys then play another round of What That Is? trying to come up with movie synopses via title and cast. Along the way they get sidetracked by discussions over the exact number of beads Ben is worth, Rutger Hauer and his amazing train that runs on dreams, reasons for the decline of mummies, whether John Turturro's testicles can be a metaphor, the 80-year-old man in charge of the Hollywood Remake department, the many Steve Urkels, the quality of "A Goofy Movie" and its soundtrack, and the Butter Commission's emergency response to "Last Tango in Paris."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 9 includes:

-The Avengers vs. orphans! Hulk smash feelings of isolation!

-Rutger Hauer makes a surprise guest appearance! Thank you, enchanted railroad industry.

-George sees "1000 Words" and has a bone to pick with the magic tree of death

-"Dark Shadows" both sucks and blows; does Tim Burton ruin every remake?

-This Week's Pitch -- Childhood TV Show!

-George pitches a reunion of "Boy Meets World" and Mr. Feeny's ghost

-The gang goes on an extra long trip down memory lane with the TGIF family comedies

-Ben pitches "Power Rangers" as an examination on 9/11 anxiety

-Nate pitches an "Exo Squad" update; Eric angles a few ways to make ALF relevant again

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-"Spinning into Butter" (2009): A tale of Rumspringa gone wrong?

-"The Man From Left Field" (1993): Burt Reynolds finds redemption and spicy hobo-on-hobo love?

                 Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

 

Direct download: pitch_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:01pm EDT
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It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." And we thought the last podcast was our geekiest one yet. In honor of the first big summer movie of the season, "The Avengers," the boys get their tights ready and talk shop over super heroes. They then pitch their own original super hero movies, or an adaptation of a bottom-level hero, and then for this week's game the gang recasts "The Avengers" as if it came out 20 years ago. Along the way, they get sidetracked by ridiculous conversations over the archaic notion of a box of porn, using arrows as short-range weapons, the horror and effectiveness of the end result of a "Ring" porn, Ben's magic porn blue fairy, ghosts lending a helping hand, the inequality of powers with super hero groups, how reading Ayn Rand turns people into douchebags, St. Peter's tech porblems in heaven, Nazi American robots, and Gary Busey as an murderous gingerbread man.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 8 includes:

-Christian found footage horror film "Harmless": "A big box of porn possessed by long-haired masturbation demons"

-The guys review notes on the big "Avengers" movie; Eric felt a nerd gasm, Ben was left wanting

-Nate was slightly disappointed that it didn't want to do more than be the best Comic Book Movie

-This Week's Pitch -- Super Hero Movie!

-Eric pitches a trilogy around the "Batman Beyond" cartoon series

-Ben pitches a super hero that even crusty Ayn Rand could love

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The gang recast "The Avengers" as if it was released in the year 1992 (Goldblum power!)

-Ben decries Scarlett Johansson's acting ability, Nate mourns for his beloved Thora Birch's career

         Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:32pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are gonna go back in time. This may prove to be our geekiest podcast yet, that is, until the next week. We talk all about the fanboy hatred over the "Star Wars" prequels and George Lucas. Ben defends the man, Eric bemoans the changes, and Nate attempts to play referee. In the middle of this, the boys engage in a conversation over who claims ownership over art -- the artist or the community? From there, they continue their nerdgasm by pitching time travel movies, Ben defending the "Matrix" sequels, and getitng caught up in subjects such as Jewish vampire hunters, the "Eight is Enough" killer, whether Ewoks are just as bad as Jar Jar Binks, Nate's disdain for thinking yourself into the past a.k.a. "Somewhere in Time," horses in cheerleading outfits, and our combined appreciation of "Can't Hardly Wait."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 7 includes:

-A brief discussion on the usefulness of holiday-themed weaponry against vampires (Kwanza?)

-Nate shares why "The Raven" sucks but commends the motives for the film's serial killer

-An epic geek-off between Ben and Eric over the "Star Wars" prequels and George Lucas' tinkering; our most heated debate yet, you can feel the spittle

-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel!

-Eric's bizarre pitch must be heard to be believed

-Nate pitches a time-travel screwball romance

-Ben also pitches a time-travel romance, and then comments about going back in time to impregnate your grandmother... so... personal growth?

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Ben defends the "Matrix" sequels

-Nate defends "Bring it On"

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_7.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:07pm EDT
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Your beloved "Dirty Sons of Pitches" crew is going to some dark places. We're all about the horror and horrific in today's podcast, inspired by the meta horror-comedy, "The Cabin in the Woods." The gang has a lively discussion on scary movies, movies that spooked them as kids, and all sorts of tangential topics like Ben's obsession with the "Puppet Master" movies, novelty check checkbooks, the majesty of Abe Vigoda in "Good Burger," Rob Schenider atrocities, cheating with "Choose-your-own-adventure" books, the design flaws in nightmare facilities, Maury Povich's fascination with gender confusion, and lies our parents told us about the end to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 6 includes:

-The guys respond to their first listener mail!

-"Puppet Master 3" = "Inglourious Basterds" but with more puppets

-Even though all three enjoyed "Cabin in the Woods," the guys get into a heated debate over the genre and genre critiques and genre classifcation; Ben wanted more horror, less meta

-The boys open up and share different movies that scared them as kids

-This Week's Pitch -- Horror Movie!

-Nate pitches a horror flick based upon his fear of revolving doors

-Eric pitches a modern remake of "Freaks"

-Ben pitches a cannibalistic curse movie, then eats his fingers

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The gang comes up with a project for Ashlynn Yennie, star of "The Human Centipede I and II"

-Nate doesn't get the escalation of adding more humans to your human centipede

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

-

Direct download: pitch_6.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang knocks their heads together to discuss the appeal of 3D movies, or lack there of, and China's decision to ban the re-release of "Titanic" due to "3D nudity." The trio also have to pitch a movie based on a classic board game, then lastly the guys play Adapt the Unadaptable and adapt their own podcast into a board game. Of course the boys get caught up in strange subjects like boomerangs that don't come back, the real-life animated "Titanic" movie and its rapping dog, the different versions of the game Guess Who? for hate groups, the negative consequences of combining your gory scenes with your T&A, "Twister" in twisters, the sad Elephant Man-like existence of Mr. Bucket, Ben's adoration of "Critters 2," and, most often, the topic of third-boob erotica as popularized in "Total Recall."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 5 includes:

-By the end of this ep, you will know what "fallacious" means

-Kate Winslet nudity is the key to all emerging democracies

-3D: Why are there so many things flyin' at my face?

-We crack the Keith David Code meant for Ben

This Week's Pitch -- Board Games!

-Eric pitches "Guess Who" as a serial killer thriller

-Nate pitches "Sorry" and "Trouble"

-Ben pitches, among others, an epic fantasy for "Chutes and Ladders"

This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable

-"Dirty Sons of Pitches: The Game" -- collect the whole set!

-Finally, are three boobs better than two? The debate continues...

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_5.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:48pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome special guest George to the crew. The gang's focus this week is on the inordinate amount of remakes and sequels in risk-averse Hollywood. The pitch this week is a sequel or remake to a movie over 20 years old. The game this week is What That Is?, where the host gives a title and cast and the other guys have to fake a plot synopsis. But of course, what really happens is that this foursome takes several detours of the scatological and bizarre variety, like reverse glory holes, the "Air Buddies" franchise and puppy milk, Roman Polanski's Hot Tub Time Machine, the Russian Roulette handbook, "Space Jam" as a documentary, and a powerful misunderstanding of the female anatomy. Catch us on YouTube as well now, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 4 includes:

-A new system of measurement that's far better than the metric system

-"The Sound of Music"'s spooky connection to "The Hills Have Eyes"

-"Home Alone 5" where Kevin busts some ghosts? Somebody see if Joe Pesci is still alive.

-The solution to world peace: Flinstone's style inducing of amnesia

-The guys share remakes they felt were better than the original

-This Week's The Pitch -- Sequelize It!

-George pitches sequels to "The Third Man" and "Taxi Driver" and misreads "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

-Ben pitches reamkes of "Metropolis" and "Robot Monster"

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-1994's "Blink" -- a tale of one eyelid-less woman's plight against Norwegian Big Lumber

-2003's "Monsturd" -- a heartwarming tale of feces


Wanna give us suggestions, comments, marriage proposals? E-mail us at pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_4.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:48pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang talk about the rating squabble of the anti-bullying documentary "Bully," which leads into a lengthy discussion about the weird rules of the MPAA and its inconsistent rulings. The boys then play their movie-related games while hopping from one ridiculous idea to the next like the theoretical tiny feet of Turkish people, how many F-bombs it takes to ruin a child's innocence, rating grief on an R.L. Stein scale, the shocking dark backstory to Thumper in "Bambi", and making obscure pop-culture references that no one in their right mind should know ("Theodore Rex"?). It is our curse and our gift.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 3 features:

-Benjamin Franklin loved turkeys or did he looooove them?

-MPAA: "graphic nudity" equals onscreen pubic hair, and other rating peculiarities

-How can a planet of black racist stereotypes end up being more misogynist than racist?

-Eric talks about "21 Jump Street" and "Being Elmo"

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt the Unadaptable

-Is Harlan Ellison too disturbing? More disturbing than tentacle hentai porno?

-Dictionary: the Movie: "Hey, everybody's got one in their house!"

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-Nate tries to Disney-fy the depressing movie "Precious", Eric reimagines "The Apple Dumpling Gang" with some scandalous Penn State figures

-Ben defends Ursula as the misunderstood and true hero of "The Little Mermaid"

-If you thought Edgar Allan Poe was dull, wait till you add pirates and monkeys!

Direct download: pitch_3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:08am EDT
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We're back and we've brought the third member of our crew, Eric. The threesome discuss the name change to "Dirty Sons of Pitches", talk about recent movies seen, and then play their series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas like Transformers going against the Bible, twist endings becoming twist middles, and zombie nature documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 2 features:

-We've become a global phenomenon (we know you're listening, Queen Elizabeth)

-The gang introduces a new system of math

-Eric and Ben debate Michael Bay's changes to the Ninja Turtle origins

-Nate and Eric discuss their reactions to "The Hunger Games" film, Ben admits to watching "Jack and Jill" and on purpose

-This Week's Pitch -- Zombie-fy It!

-Ben renanimates the zombie genre with ten original pitches

-Nate shares his past dalliance with zombie pornography

-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!

-The gang adapts "The Hunger Games" into a porn parody

-Sticking to the youthful age of participants -- does that count as "artistic integrity"?-

Direct download: pitch_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:50am EDT
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Welcome to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" ladies and gentlemen of the Interwebs. Our inaugural show introduces the world to regular hosts Nate and Ben as they talk shop with movies and play a series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas such as why the "B" encyclopedia section was cherished, Dirk Dinklage, and Ben's Super Mario Brothers fan ficiton. Yes, you read that right -- Super Mario Brothers fan fiction.

 Also available on iTunes!

Episode 1 features:

-The implications of the absence of encyclopedias

-Ben's "special four-leaf-clover hat"

-Dispute over the ape revolution

-Discussion over "Silent House" and gimmicks, HBO's "Game Change"

-This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize It!

"Pluto Nash Meets Dave in Geosynchronous Norbit"

-Eddie Murphy: a force more powerful than God?

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

Ben defends "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Nate defends the "Super Mario Bros." movie

 

Direct download: pitch_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:23pm EDT
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