Dirty Sons of Pitches

Now that they've got another ten podcasts in the can, it's time for another "Dirty Sons of Pitches" commentary for a movie you can watch via Netflix instant streaming. It's the lovely story of a band of crazy summer camp kids and their felonious and near-murderous assault on a lowly janitor. Some may say his eventual bloody payback is entirely justifiable, but that's what happens when you live in a realm of moral relativism. Plus you can see younger versions of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter (if you can find her) before they were stars. Plus a guy from 'Law and Order."

The guys talk about the Glazer family sleeve empire, the academic merits of Peep University, how to find Camp Circle Jerk on a map, the inherent untrustworthiness of canoes, a self-help book for the horribly burned and vengeful, sports coats vs. blades and lasers, how all modern filmmakers have ripped off "The Burning," the possibility of a nipple-motivated killer, and the fact that the Weinstein brothers and Brad Grey are actually responsible for this mediocre genre exercise.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: The_Burning_commentarry.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 3:40pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going into dark dark places with this podcast. In honor of the brute, manly action flick "The Expendables 2," the guys are pitching the ultimate 80s movie and/or the manliest movie imaginable. Then for this week's game they porno-ize "The Expendables 2," a movie none of them have seen. Along the way the guys get caught up in weird detours, notably a woman who has a tattoo inside a body cavity, the proclivities of Meryl Streep and her many "Oscars," the irony of the "Breaking Dawn: Part 2" poster taglines, the Bourne franchise if he became powerfully stupid, whether "family films" should have gay content (hint: we vote sure), and what the "Expendables" actors scream when they are spent.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 20 includes:

-Get ready for your world never to be the same when you hear about... Maria Louise Del Rosario and her unique call to fame.

-Learn why exactly the Academy gave Meryl Streep her third Oscar. Keeps her limber.

-Ben loves "Paranorman" even better than "The Nightmare Before Christmas."

-This Week's Pitch -- Ulimtate 80s Movie and/or Manliest Movie!

-Ben pitches a WWF wrestling version of "The Expendables" as superheroes.

-Eric pitches an ensemble adventure starring a construction worker, a police officer, a Navy cadet, a biker, and a Native American.

-Nate pitches a prison break film and a time-travel movie where dumb hipsters learn the 80s sucked.

-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!

-The gang take the over-the-hill all-star action vehicle "The Expendables 2" and push it into gay porn... which is not as hard as you would think.

        Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_20.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:30am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking well-known movie worlds and expanding them, just like your minds. After a roundup of comic book movie franchise news, and a discussion over recent releases "The Campaign" and "The Bourne Legacy," the focus is on continuing a franchise with a new lead character. No game this week but instead is a continued discussion over movie sequels the gents felt were better than the original. Along the way they talk about strange topics such as split loyalties between America and a feral animal known for the University of Michigan, a complete misreading of the film "Brazil," the improbability of North Korea invading the U.S., Ben's non-ironic defense of Aquaman, the weird Nazi doctor pressence in "Baby Geniuses 2," Superman as potential date rapist and American hobo, the true nature of death panels and their relevance to "Saw 6," and Paul Verhoeven's negotiations over the plurality of women's breasts.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 19 includes:

-Corrections: Sinbad is cancer-free and now fair game for mockery.

-"Red Dawn" not just a jingoistic fantasy, now with extra racism!

-Superhero news roundup and what happens when giant space clouds get it ON!

-Nate complains he only got 2/3 of a movie with "The Bourne Legacy"

-This Week's Pitch -- Franchise Continuation!

-Eric pitches a "Back to the Future" film from the point of view of one family subjugated to time fluctuations by the finicky Marty McFly.

-Nate pitches a new "Baby Geniuses" movie with plans to kill all the baby geniuses.

-Ben has several pitches extending the worlds of "Pleasantville," "Fight Club," and "Highlander."

-Bonus Discussion -- Superior Sequels

-The gang share sequels they feel are better than the original film, including "Halloween III," "Saw 6," "Aladdin: Return of the Jafar," and "Evil Dead II"

Direct download: pitch_19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:50pm EDT

Thanks for sticking with us. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and have much to talk about. The guys discuss their involvement in the 48 hour film festival last weekend, movies they've seen, specifically the "Total Recall" remake, then it's off to pitch movies about technology gone wrong and come up with comeback vehicles for the former Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Along the way they also discussthe nature of God's body parts, 80s summer camp us vs. them metaphors, how Adam West's TV show saved Batman, the theory of Chris Tucker's potential connection to Osama bin Laden, whether Warwick Davis is the greatest actor who ever lived, the Madea room, recording in a houseboat, the sex robot suffrage movement, how "Last Action Hero" is an underrated film, and the sad circumstances of Sinbad's life.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 18 includes:

-The guys talk shop about their short film for the 48 hour film festival in Columbus.

-Can Batman ever retire? This is exactly what's wrong with America!

-Eric found two movies worse than "Dark Shadows" -- "Mirror Mirror" and "The Watch"

-Ben feels condescended to by the three-boobed lady in the "Total Recall" remake.

-Nate's mind is blown by the theory that Ferris Bueller is a Tyler Durden-esque imaginary figure.

-This Week's Pitch -- Technology Gone Wrong!

-Eric and Nate independently come up with the exact same pitch!

-Ben pitches tales of sex robots, teleportation, and "grey goo" (it's people!).

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys spitball comeback vehicles for the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger.

            Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am EDT