Dirty Sons of Pitches

Ben and Nate contemplate all their life decisions that lead them to watch the awful sequel to 2001's original "Joe Dirt." Ben declares it the worst film he's seen in THREE YEARS and is shell-shocked by how depressing and lazy and unfunny it is. It's available for free on Crackle.com, and even that is a price too high for this disaster.

Direct download: joe_dirt_2.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 4:33pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are inspired by "Self/less" and coming up with body swap pitches this week, after going through news items involving some bad behavior. They also talk about the need for the return of Nick at Night, the pointlessness of blackface in costumes and cosplay, the mysteries behind bathroom reief, the omnipresence of "Friends," whether the Minions are looking to be slaves, whether there are more hetero or homosexual porn parodies, Shaq as a great comedic actor, personal measurements, and themeaning behind "in like Flynn."

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 115 includes:

-Ben laments the over-use of samplying in modern music... and shares the price of bread when he was a kid and what's wrong with them kids today.

-Ben loathes every unintelligible second of "Minions."

-Nate thinks "Trainwreck" is a fine coming-out for comedienne, Amy Schumer, but it's Lebron James who is the film's comedy MVP.

-Ben says "The Cobbler" is a "poorly executed version of a movie I would like, or the best executed version of a movie that should not work."

-This Week's Pitch -- Body Swap!

-Nate pitches a conservative blowhard swapping bodies with a poor, disadvantaged black male and discovering maybe life isn't fair or equal.

-Ben pitches a body swap heist, marriage counseling swapping, kids switching bodies with their parents and taking over, and a hired killer who swaps to set up patsies.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_115.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:06pm EDT

One of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had a brush with danger since last recording, coming face to face with the power of flame in a house fire. That inspires the pitches this week. No game this episode but plenty of talk about other topics such as the "female experience" while defecation, the fact that Scalia is not the rhetorical master people make him out to be, what some possible negatives might be for removing the Confederate flag, taking Donald Trump at his words, Ben's lack of shame, whether Jai Courtney has the ability to not not be charismatic, the morally disturbing ending for "The Hot Chick," the positives of "Return of the Living Dead," whether trying to kill your own mom is a paradox in an alternate timeline, the creepy nature of asking for cleavage for auditions (Rose McGowan's story), the words "a poor man's David Krumholtz," and the sound of Fourth of July fireworks.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 114 includes:

-Ben explains how he saved his mother from a house fire. No joke. He explains his bathroom-centic consequences.

-Lots of news: replace that Confederate flag with a rainbow flag, folks. wow a lot of stuff happened since last we recorded.

-Nate says "Paul Blart 2" is like a modern-day Pagliacci.

-"Inside Out" is a modern classic that shows feelings can have feelings too.

-Ben and Nate debate whether "Terminator Genisys" makes no sense or no f-ing sense.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fire!

-Nate pitches a crime procedural from an arson inspection unit and an epic based upon the Billy Joel song.

-Ben pitches an invisible dragon, a ghost story where the spirit is fire itself, and a woman whose mood affects the environment (aroused = fires!).

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_114.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:28pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting pre-historic with their pitches this week in honor of the summer smash "Jurassic World." The guys are pitching dinosaur properties. After they play a game of Five by Five. Along the way they debate whether Mr. Portato Head was full of self-loathing promoting french fries, the long con of New Coke, how exploitative and awful "Criminal Minds" can be, the political and social meanings behind "Zardoz," the lasting power of "Dino the Last Dinosaur," the particulars of love in "Mannequin," and the unknowable subtitles of the "Land Before Time" direct-to-video sequels.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 113 includes:

-Ben and Nate talk about the passing of Christopher Lee, the most badass nonagenarian actor/metal singer ever.

-Nate re-watches "Zardoz" and will never be the same again. Again.

-"Spy" causes Ben to pause his dislike for Melissa McCarthy. "Tammy" is 30% forgiven.

-Ben thinks "Jurassic World" would be better with less meta and more dinosaurs.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dinosaurs!

-Nate pitches a children's movie where a group of kids finds a living dinosaur egg and have to hide it from the government.

-Ben pitches a dinosaur buddy copy film and a film with the greatest title known to man.

-This Week's Game -- Five by Five!

-The guys try and guess one another's list of five movies they created off the top of their head after being given a specific category. They then have a last man standing to see who can name more dinosaur movies.

Direct download: pitch_113.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29pm EDT