Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recovering from 2010's woefully misguided adaptation of the classic tale, The Nutcracker. Add some Nazi rats, John Turturro looking like Andy Warhol, some strange messages, Albert Einstein, some strange songs, some unfortunate dancing, and too much Holocaust imagery, and you've got a terrible idea and a terrible execution of a holiday classic. The guys try and make sense of the film, wonder how dark a children's movie can get, and question why Einstein would make a good babysitter.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: nutcracker.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:31pm EDT

In the absence of Eric, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are graced with the presence of a special celebrity guest, musician/actor Tom Waits. In honor of the big-budget "Great Gatsby," the gang pitch adaptations of books that they hated in high school. The game this week is then coming up with a fitting projecy for prolific director Michael Bay. Along the way the guys talk about stuff like seeing Rosie O'Donnell in her "Exit to Eden" outfit at all times, the scientific combination of Stanley Tucci and Stacey Keach, Tom Waits' wordy and bloody calling card, the real flow of bals with Mr. Bucket, Tom Waits studying for Boo Radley, Nazi rats and singing Einstein, the confusion of Shakespeare's ownership, Hamlet getting nasty with poor Yorrick, sympathy for Dr. Frankenstein, and a cross between "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Night Rider."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 48 includes:

-Tom Waits enlightens us with his wisdom and perspective and vague hobo threats.

-Ben loves "Pain and Gain" and thinks it's the top movie of 2013 for now.

-On the flipside, Ben tlaks about a movie that left him speechless -- "The Nutcracker in 3D."

-"Great Gatsby": loses the subtext but upps the jazz hands.

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a Book You Hated in High School!

-Tom Waits pitches a new way to make students fear Shakespeare like never before.

-Nate pitches "Lord of the Flies" with women. This should end well.

-Ben pitches different takes on "Frankenstein" and a radical adaptation of "The Grapes of Wrath."

-Bonus pitch: the gang pitches movies their repsective mothers would enjoy.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The trio pitch a movie that would be suitable for the skills of director Michael Bay.

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Direct download: pitch_48.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are takin' ya out to the ballgame, peanuts, cracker jacks, you know the drill. This week's theme is sports movies, and the guys take turns pitching their ownsports movies and then a sports related round of Defend Yourself. Along the way the guys also talk about Jesus quesadillas, throwing children down stairs to replicate the success indicated in "Rookie of the Year," the lingering and misguided effects of a children's show about genocide, historical based ratings, the question of "Star Trek" holodeck sexual fantasies, Lola Bunny educating young boys into future furries, "Latvia" vs. "Latvaria," Tony Scott directing movies from the afterlife, and wheelchair mountain climbing.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 47 includes:

-Is there a "fecal miracles" specialty in the Vatican Miracles Investigations Department?

-Nate says "Mud" is the best film he's seen so far this year.

-"Pain and Gain": when is excess too excessive? Michael Bay will find out.

-"Iron Man 3" leads Ben to another angry tirade mostly about the handling of The Mandarin

-We actually have a winner of the Netflix Steaming Streaming Challenge!

-This Week's Pitch -- Sports Movie!

-Eric pitches a soltuion for Cleveland's sports misery: exorcising the demons responsible for their many sports woes (Damn you, Moses Cleveland and your deal with the devil!).

-Nate pitches a sincere movie about a girls soccer team in Afghanistan and the danger of the Taliban.

-Ben pitches a time-traveling version of Treasure Buddies, some sports video game adaptations, and the Harlem Globetrotters cartoon.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Eric defends his love of "Space Jam" and Ben defends "Loonatics Unleashed" and "Rookie of the Year."

-The guys share their favorite sports movies and what makes a good sports movie.
        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_47.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:17pm EDT