Dirty Sons of Pitches

The Dirty Sons of Pitches have one last gift to offer 2012, having recorded earlier but held on for this moment. With guest star Chris Holben, the guys talk all about the holiday movies they've seen and then fix movies from 2012. Wait till you get a load of Ben's take on "Looper." They end the podcast revealing their individual lists of the best and worst movies of 2012. Enjoy, world, and a merry 2013 to you all with extra Sons of Pitches to bless your new year.

Also available on iTunes!

This episode includes:

-Would you inseminate yourself with the sperm of Ernest?

-The guys review "Les Miserables," "This is 40," "Red Dawn" and "Zero Dark Thirty"

-"The Hobbit": an unexpectedly long and self-indulgent journey

-To 48 frames per second or to not?

-This Week's Pitch -- Redo a 2012 movie!

-Ben pitches different takes on "Avengers," "Dark Shadows," and "Looper"

-Nate pitches a new direction for "The Raven"

-Eric fixes "Brave" with relative ease
-Chris Holben pitches a different take on "The Dark Knight Rises"

-Bonus Discussion -- Best/Worst/Underrated Films of 2012!

-Each person lists their 10 best films of the year, bottom 5 worst, and one underrated film worth checking out.
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_32.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:43pm EDT

It's a special time of year and the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are in a holiday mood, talking about their favorite winter holiday films and then pitching their own. The game also gets a holiday turn as the guys play Genre Swap, turning horror movies into Christmas classics. Along the way the guys get cuaght tlaking about what the name of the "Kwanzaa menora" is, accidentally ripping off Kevin Smith while simultaneously inspiring him, 2013 calendar of Mayan harsassment, Ben's back tattoo of the "8 Crazy Nights" poster, Peter Jackson tampering with Ben's car brakes, the natural evolution of Goblin King chin testicles, Ben's mother's special Christmas message for him, Ben's Kwanzaa activities with Eric's mother and a pterodactyl, the reluctant zombie, how to properly be eaten by Galactus, the Dirty Sons of Pitches seal of approval, and the sad unknown history behind Ray Combs' hidden life.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 31 includes:

-Ben shares his new title as Kwanzaa ambassador and gives good reason why this should not be.

-We lived! Take THAT dead Mayans!

-The guys share their favorite holiday movies, and the conversation takes a turn toward Ben's back hair grooming habbits.

-Ben can't decide which he hates more, "The Hobbit" or "A Christmas Story 2."

-Eric dislikes "Hitchcock" so much it encourages Ben's mom to come chim in. Yeah!

-This Week's Pitch -- Holiday Movie!

-Ben pitches Christmas super teams, Christmas zombies, and a conqueror Claus.

-Nate pitches a slasher based around Kwanzaa and a racist killer with a catchy acronym.

-Eric pitches both DC and Marvel-related specials, plus with the Mayan apocalypse the way it should be.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-The guys turn inappropriate horror movies into destined-to-be-beloved holiday classics and with the added help of Ben's mom! 

        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_31.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40pm EDT

A special treat for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, another commentary track, this time for the 1994 killer-robot vehicle, "Evolver." It's available via Netflix instant streaming. Marvel at the involvement of notable actor William H. Macy as the voice of the homocidal robot, and then also marvel at the 1994 depcition of virtual reality, which was by all purposes the wave of the future.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: evolver.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 12:08am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have officially achieved MILF status, turning 30. The guys get into an involved conversation about the ability to separate art from the artist, inspired from Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash's fall from grace. The guys then pitch trilogy re-dos or new takes on movies that have yet to get to trilogy status, then they play a game of Sequel-ize It with trilogy editions for other film franchises. Along the way they tlak about yettis, the formation of the actual words "I really enjoyed Chris Tucker," an appreciation of "Jeepers Creepers 2" and a question on how it goes about upgrading itself, the film catalogue of Woody Allen, the hypocrisy of "The Hangover" filmmakers taking a moral stand, personal stories of walkouts in movies, the font of where love comes from, werewolf connections to polio, the nature of the two children trapped inside Ben's mind, and the mobius strip of potential "Back to the Future" sequels.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 30 includes:

-"Being Elmo" just got a very interesting footnote.

-Can we separate art from the artist? Can we enjoy the works from people we abhor?

-"Killing Them Softly": What's with all the walkouts?

-"Rise of the Guardians": Ben and Eric love it, Nate does not and apparently admits to not having a soul in the process.

-This Week's Pitch -- Trilogy Additions/Red-dos!

-Nate and Eric both pitch alternatives to the misfire "Spider-Man 3" both without the Sandman and Venom!

-Insipired by Nate's pan, Ben develops a third film for "Rise of the Guardians" with the subtitle, "Holiday-caust"

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-ize It!

-The guys work together to develop third additions for franchises like "Clerks" and "Kill Bill"

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_30.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:02pm EDT

The guys get down and dirty with one of the most successful filmmakers working in Hollywood today, Christopher Nolan. There's a look back at Nolan's Batman trilogy, but the guys also discuss the Nolan screenwriting ploys, his emphasis on head over heart, his collaboration with his brother, and what they might expect from the man now that he's completed his stamp on Batman.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: nolan.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 2:37pm EDT

Surprise world, Ben lives! Long-feared dead, he returns to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" to wreck his specific brand of havoc once more on the movie world. The guys take note of the recent election and then transition into pitching movies with a political edge, finally ending with a game of "Re-Cast It" where they cast Lincoln through the different decades. Along the way they discuss strange topics like Ernest Borgnine's cause of his demise, votes per steps taken, Obama's looming tax on manservants, the collective ignorance of backgammon, Keira Knightley's trouble filling out a corset, "Pie in the Sky: Special Vicitms Unit," Billy Jack as America's favorite kung-fu Native American action hero, Lincoln's assasination being related to the apes rising in the future, Rhianna's slam-dunk chances for playing Mary-Todd Lincoln in the 2022 big-screen Lincoln biopic, and Katherine Hepburn as Ben!

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 29 includes:

-The guys briefly rehash the recent presidential election and their thoughts on the results and the future of the GOP. This does not last long.

-Ben catches up on a slew of movies like "The Hunger Games," "Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter," "Safety Not Guaranteed," and "Wreck-It Ralph"

-Nate talks about "The Sessions" and "Breaking Dawn Part 2" and says both are about people who don't feel anything below the neck.

-Spielberg's "Lincoln" : The 13th Ammendment: The Movie. A high-gloss civics lesson. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Political Thriller!

-Ben pitches a movie about franking... where Congress gets free mail priviledges. Did you know this? Where is the outage, America?

-Eric pitches a behind-the-scenes film covering FDR's polio and a spinoff for "Pie in the Sky"

-Nate pitches a thriller where a governor is extorted for a pardon.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-The gang recasts the role of Abe Lincoln through six different decades of bearded actors.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_29.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:19pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing a central member. without the pressence of Ben, the guys soldier on with special guest George and pitch violent movies based on children's games or chidlren's movies based upon violent video games. while sending out a search party for Ben, the guys pass the time by also talking about what Ben's ethereal activities would include with the cast of "Angels in the Outfield," the quesitonable decisions behind candy cigarettes, the eventual repalcement of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" with animals, George vs. Nate on the hate-ability "That's My Boy," why James Bond doesn't crack jokes, how "Skyfall" takes a page form "Home Alone," the sadness that was "Piranha 3DD," what Brando's up to in heaven, and a very special cameo appearance at the very end from a magical man and his reindeer.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 28 includes:

-George channels the spirit of Ben to make us all feel better and hit our profanity quota.

-George tries to rank the crappiness of recent crap-fests "That's My Boy," "Rock of Ages" and "Madea's Witness Protection."

-Timothy Dalton, your defense as James Bond has come!

-"Wreck-It Ralph": too plot heavy for kids? Another rip-off of "The Iron Giant"?

-This Week's Pitch -- Children's Movie/Violent Video Game or Vice Versa!

-Nate pitches "Grand Theft Auto: Candyland." It's about what you'd expect.

-Eric pitches a look at the fraying mind of Mario and the brotherly tension of mental illness.

-George pitches a harrowing look at "Pac Man" in the vein of "Thinner" and the guys chime in to make it even darker.

-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!

-The guys try to outbid each other with how many movies from different actors they can name. First one to three points is victorious.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com-

Direct download: pitch_28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:05pm EDT

The Internet almost broke with the geek-shattering news that Disney had purchased Lucasarts, notably "Star Wars," for $4 billion. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" assess what this means for the future of the franchise and then play another round of pitch redemption where they redo previous pitches. Finally, the trio tries out a new game, Pitch-or-Treat where they randomly draw a pitch and make it up on the spot. Along the way they talk about Eric's uncanny ability to sense the oncoming presence of orgies in movies, the greatness of the cancelled "Mockingbird Lane" pilot, the prospect of the "Star Wars" prequels getting entombed in the Disney Vault, the stance hobos take on the "Star Wars" prequels, Tyler Perry in action mode in "Alex Cross," Ben's essays on what not to stick the male member within, Thomas Jefferson's swivel obsession, and what a "Casablanca" sequel set 1000 years in the future might be like.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 27 includes:

-The guys offer to sell their services to Disney for the modest sum of $2 billion.

-So... being violated by a hobo or watching the "Star Wars" prequels? The results will surprise you...

-"Flight": possibly the only movie to posit that drugs and alcohol can SAVE lives...

-Nate and Eric sing the praises of "Cloud Atlas" while Ben was left wondering what the point of it was, besides proof that Hugo Weaving is a powerfully unattractive woman.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption II!

-Eric pitches several monster-themed movies including Franken-girlfriend.

-Nate pitches "Thomas Jefferson: American Werewolf".

-Ben pitches a fantasy drama with an unusual romance between a damsel and a dragon.

-This Week's Game -- Pitch-or-Treat!

-The guys roll a dice, read a pitch subject, and pitch a movie on the spot.

     Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_27.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:36pm EDT

The guys team up with Drew to discuss the up-and-mostly-down career of M. Night Shyamalan. They try and dissect exactly what propelled Shyamalan into his downward slide and how the man can reignite his career. Plus we even have defendors of Lady in the Water. And in grand Shyamalan tradition, stick around for the twist (there is no twist -- or is there?).

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: shyamalan.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 6:30pm EDT

It's a monstrously large edition of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Sadly without 1/3 of our crew (we miss you Eric), the guys gain two favorite guest stars -- Drew and George. Together the guys tackle the classic Universal monsters like Dracula and the Wolfman, they pitch new properties based on these classic character, and then finish up with a game of What That Is? Along the way the guys chat about other strange topics like Liam Neeson's daughter being taken by wolves, the music potential of "Monster Mass" parody, George's harried relationship with Weird Al, the evil Mr. Ed encouraging people to kill, the lack of good comic timing with porn stars, Googling "Phister", reanimated Jerry Orbach as the spokesman for monsters, why werewolves should just get a calendar, the first acts of President Frankenstein's Monster, being haunted by a dead person's feet, and a man who would urinate golden kidney stones.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 26 includes:

-Drew challenges everyone to a table-top game and divulges a movie he's seen besides "Rango."

-"Jack or Jill": you HAVE to have sex with one of them? Choose your fate!

-Why have vampires gotten so popular lately? Is "Twilight" to blame?

-So... is it Frankenstein or Frankenstein's monster?

-This Week's Pitch -- Classic Monsters!

-Nate pitches "The Creature From the Blacker Lagoon" as a modern parable on race.

-George pitches a version of "Being There" starring Frankenstein's monster.

-Drew pitches a cyberpunk future version of the Phantom of the Opera.

-Ben pitches a monster all-star team, a Jekyl and Hyde TV show, and a monster support group.

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-"Dead Man's Shoes" (2004): The horrifying sequel to the sad cancer song "Christmas Shoes"?

-"Chasing the Kidney Stone" (1996): One nefarious grandfather's scheme to shrink his family members and insert them into his urethra?

Ben's blog: http://stupidblueplanet.blogspot.com/

         Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_26.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT

Drew is back and he'sready to join in on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discussion over the exploding subgenre of found footage movie. The guys talk about what makes a good found footage movie, the opportunities and limitations of the genre, and then pitch their own found footage films and turn other movies into found footage films for this week's game. Along the way the chaps chat about Johnny Depp fatigue, Paul Ryan/Joe Biden slash fiction, the ease of slipping into racism when doing Madea impressions, why Kirk Douglas was trying to take out Melissa Leo at the Oscars, Ben's idea for the grossest movie of all time, what masturbating demons would do during their down-time, writing a found footage movie in a weekend, found footage vs. POV films, having "Thinner" become a Jenny Craig success story/found footage movie, and yettis vs. egg-making clowns.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 25 includes:

-The Madea Challenge has been replaced by the "Streaming Steaming Netflix Challenge" with the first punishment for the loser... to watch "Tooth Fairy 2" starring Larry the Cable Guy.

-The guys sing the praises of "Argo" and question the necessisty of "Frankenweenie"

-"V/H/S": a found footage anthology film. Instead of 80 minutes of waiting for payoff, now it's only 15! Progress!

-Why the explosion of found footage movies recently?

-This Week's Pitch -- Found Footage Movie!

-Nate pitches a husband/wife bitter divorce thriller, and a gang standoff film.

-Eric pitches an anti-drug flick and a diary of a man dealing with terminal illness.

-Drew pitches a found footage rom-com and high-fantasy flick.

-Ben pitches an Owellian police state found footage revolution.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap !

-The gang adapt other movies into the found footage concept, including "Jurassic Park" and "Independence Day"

And make sure to check out Drew's blog and storytelling expertise for hire.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_25.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:05pm EDT

The guys take a close look at the select films of indie autuer darling Quentin Tarantino. They discuss their favorites and dicuss Tarantino's habbit of appropriating from the films he loves. You won't find another podcast that talks about "It's Pat" as much as this one. Give it a listen, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: tarantino.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 1:37pm EDT

Welcome back special guest Chris Holben to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches"and he comes out fighting, taking the minority opinion of the group when it comes to the time travel thriller, "Looper." In honor of that film, the guys pitch sci-fi crime movies and then play a game of Recast It where they take the premise of "Looper" (young and old versions of a character) and try it with different races and genders. Along the way they chat about relations between your present self and your opposite gender future self, the satirical nature of Judge Dredd and what Paul Thomas Anderson's take would be on it, the limitations of the Kansas City mob, "Star Wars: SVU," why you shouldn't strike deals with dragons without a lawyer present, the eventual death of ole' Hook Hands, the nebulous nature of the M in MILF, and Ben's likeness to Indonesian strongman Suharto.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 24 includes:

-Nate wants to know why the protagonisst in "Taken 2" aren't cited as terrorists.

-Eric and Nate agree that "The Master" is masterfully boring.

-The great "Looper" debate: why is the future mob so low in ambition? Spoilers follow.

-Emily Blunt sure knows her way around an axe, if you know what I mean.

-Find out what the code "watching the Buckeyes" means.... and taste the mystery.

-This Week's Pitch -- Sci-fi Crime Movie!

-Chris Holben pitches a "Star Wars" bounty hunter movie.

-Eric pitches a film with a little of everything: steam punk, dragons, and sticking it to the South.

-Nate pitches a world where the rich can afford clones to take their place for executions (i.e. probably just four years from now).

-Ben pitches a clone heist, time travel gangs, and alien encounters with some frisky E.T.s.

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The guys recast "Looper" with different types of actors in the young/old characters.

-Everyone tries casting their 30-year older versions of themselves.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_24.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT

While Eric is on vacation, Nate and Ben take the absence to discuss the works of "Donnie Darko" director Richard Kelly in the second edition of "Director's Cut." Both guys talk about why they enjoy Kelly's first film and their less than enthusiastic feelings for Kelly's follow-up films, like "Southland Tales" and "The Box." They disucss where Kelly has gone wrong and debate whether or not they'll see another stellar film from the likes of Kelly. In honor of "The Box," the guys also pitch a movie based on an old "Twilight Zone" episode.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: richard_kelly.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 4:17pm EDT

The British are coming, the British are coming. No, they've already invaded our televisions. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discuss their favorite British TV shows and then adapt a British Tv property for an Americna audience. Then they play a game of Defend Yourself with the films of Alan Moore's graphic novels, tackling the hardest one, "The League of Extroadinary Gentlemen." Along the way they discuss Robocop's need for self-love to be designed in his costume, the depressing heights of "Law and Order SVU: Russia," the truth that all undecided voters are really Eskimoes, the vastly different endings for the British and American versions of "Life on Mars," Ben's Mr. Bucket as the Most Interesting Man in the World, the unhealthy state of Richard Griffiths, crime inspiring pie-making, how "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows" ripped off "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," and Eric's unique vacation plans with hillbillies.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 23 includes:

-New Robocop: if you have a future crime-ridden hellish city, it's insulting if it's not Detroit.

-Why do we have to remake British shows but not Canadian shows? Racism?

-Ben lays into "Elementary," the lame CBS imitation of "Sherlock." A female Watson? Congratulations, you've reinvented the wheel, CBS!

-The surprising amount of American-to-Britain translations. A British version of "The Jersey Shore" with a country with no New Jersey?

-This Week's Pitch -- British TV Translation!

-Eric brings back the show about a cop and his crime-related baked goods, "Pie in the Sky."

-Ben wants to bring back what may be one of the most offensive TV shows in British history.

-Nate brings "Luther" to the States and ditches with all that will they/won't they BS.

-Together the guys imagine what an American version of "Dr. Who" would look like.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-The guys take the challenge to defend the 2003 film "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."

     Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_23.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:28pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are stretching out and rolling out a new series of podcasts focused on examining the career of a film director. For the inaugural podcast, the guys are taking a look at the works of Kevin Smith, the man who inspired the very formation of this podcast. They talk about their favorite Smith films, defend "Jersey Girl," debate the merits of "Cop Out," and even pitch some Kevin Smith-like films dealing with singular locations. Come celebrate Silent Bob and the man who increased all of our vocabularies (and gave us a new definition of "snowball").

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: kevin_smith.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 2:41pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are blending fantasy with reality, taking a look at alternative worlds and their interaction with our own. The guys pitch projects about an alternative world and then play the newest game, Re-Direct It, where they attach a famous director to a different project. Along the way the guys talk about what to do with waffles when no one's looking, how "Expendables 2" is really a remake of "Street Fighter," perfect DNA cross-breeding with Rashida Jones, Jon Hamm, and Brangelina, that Superman would be the next target of Tea Party outrage, Sarah Palin's influence on the winning football team in "Undefeated," applying Pokemon's catch-phrase to venereal diseases, the necessity of a Hitler Universe, limiting your steps after the five-fingered palm of death, and the many talents of Jon Hamm.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 22 includes:

-The guys all confess their collective man crushes on actor extraodinaire, Jon Hamm.

-"Killer Joe": Not waiting for the KFC endorsement.

-Ben and Nate deconstruct the many, many faults of pseudo-documentary, "2016: Obama's America"

-This is going to be the "evidence" your crackpot uncle cites to prove his opinion is right.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fictional/Alternative World Crossover

-Eric pitches a realistic take on Pokemon, a world of legal cock fighting with cute monsters.

-Nate pitches an action movie around a school for kids from parallel dimensions -- "Parallel U."

-Ben pitches "Copyright Infringement PD" to police the literary characters entering our world, and a fantasy mating competition where one nerd controls the fate of all realities.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Direct It!

-The guys attach famous directors to other works, like Kevin Smith's "Star Wars" and Quentin Tarantino's "Little Women."

          Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: podcast_22.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a look at the misunderstood plight of the poor villain. The guys examine some of their favorite movie villains, discuss what makes a good villain, and then share villain-centric pitches. And now that it's September, the guys take one final look at the movies of summer 2012 and cite their favorites, dissapointments, and thoughts as a whole. Along the way they talk about things like how awful Boba Fett is as a bounty hunter, Ben's criminal empire on movie piracy, how one rebels against your whale parents, the prospect of God as a criminal accomplice (He's got some priors), the end of "Cemetery Man," Ben's sudden falsetto voice, a very fleshy asterisk, the powerful sway of porn to decide technological battles (VHS vs. Beta, etc.), a kelp-only diet, Ben's hatred of Julianne Moore, and Tom Hardy cannot be killed.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 21 includes:

-Ready for one whale of a tale? Wait til you hear about the girl-raised-by-whales movie, "Beached."

-Ben finally found a gritty moive that gets the Batman story right: "The Dark Knight: An XXX Parody."

-What makes a really great villain?

-This Week's Pitch -- Villain Story!

-Eric pitches a Harley Quinn/Joke movie in the style of "Frost/Nixon"

-Nate pitches a story about the real threat at the RNC convention this week, the mischievious, invisible Obama!

-Ben pitches a "Con Air" spinoff and a villainous alernative to TV's "Eureka"

-Bonus Conversation -- Summer 2012 at the Movies!

-The guys talk about the highs and lows this year with summer movies... mostly lows.

-Indie movies and the superhero films saved this summer.

Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_21.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:30pm EDT

Now that they've got another ten podcasts in the can, it's time for another "Dirty Sons of Pitches" commentary for a movie you can watch via Netflix instant streaming. It's the lovely story of a band of crazy summer camp kids and their felonious and near-murderous assault on a lowly janitor. Some may say his eventual bloody payback is entirely justifiable, but that's what happens when you live in a realm of moral relativism. Plus you can see younger versions of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter (if you can find her) before they were stars. Plus a guy from 'Law and Order."

The guys talk about the Glazer family sleeve empire, the academic merits of Peep University, how to find Camp Circle Jerk on a map, the inherent untrustworthiness of canoes, a self-help book for the horribly burned and vengeful, sports coats vs. blades and lasers, how all modern filmmakers have ripped off "The Burning," the possibility of a nipple-motivated killer, and the fact that the Weinstein brothers and Brad Grey are actually responsible for this mediocre genre exercise.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: The_Burning_commentarry.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 3:40pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going into dark dark places with this podcast. In honor of the brute, manly action flick "The Expendables 2," the guys are pitching the ultimate 80s movie and/or the manliest movie imaginable. Then for this week's game they porno-ize "The Expendables 2," a movie none of them have seen. Along the way the guys get caught up in weird detours, notably a woman who has a tattoo inside a body cavity, the proclivities of Meryl Streep and her many "Oscars," the irony of the "Breaking Dawn: Part 2" poster taglines, the Bourne franchise if he became powerfully stupid, whether "family films" should have gay content (hint: we vote sure), and what the "Expendables" actors scream when they are spent.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 20 includes:

-Get ready for your world never to be the same when you hear about... Maria Louise Del Rosario and her unique call to fame.

-Learn why exactly the Academy gave Meryl Streep her third Oscar. Keeps her limber.

-Ben loves "Paranorman" even better than "The Nightmare Before Christmas."

-This Week's Pitch -- Ulimtate 80s Movie and/or Manliest Movie!

-Ben pitches a WWF wrestling version of "The Expendables" as superheroes.

-Eric pitches an ensemble adventure starring a construction worker, a police officer, a Navy cadet, a biker, and a Native American.

-Nate pitches a prison break film and a time-travel movie where dumb hipsters learn the 80s sucked.

-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!

-The gang take the over-the-hill all-star action vehicle "The Expendables 2" and push it into gay porn... which is not as hard as you would think.

        Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_20.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:30am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking well-known movie worlds and expanding them, just like your minds. After a roundup of comic book movie franchise news, and a discussion over recent releases "The Campaign" and "The Bourne Legacy," the focus is on continuing a franchise with a new lead character. No game this week but instead is a continued discussion over movie sequels the gents felt were better than the original. Along the way they talk about strange topics such as split loyalties between America and a feral animal known for the University of Michigan, a complete misreading of the film "Brazil," the improbability of North Korea invading the U.S., Ben's non-ironic defense of Aquaman, the weird Nazi doctor pressence in "Baby Geniuses 2," Superman as potential date rapist and American hobo, the true nature of death panels and their relevance to "Saw 6," and Paul Verhoeven's negotiations over the plurality of women's breasts.

Also available on iTunes!

-Episode 19 includes:

-Corrections: Sinbad is cancer-free and now fair game for mockery.

-"Red Dawn" not just a jingoistic fantasy, now with extra racism!

-Superhero news roundup and what happens when giant space clouds get it ON!

-Nate complains he only got 2/3 of a movie with "The Bourne Legacy"

-This Week's Pitch -- Franchise Continuation!

-Eric pitches a "Back to the Future" film from the point of view of one family subjugated to time fluctuations by the finicky Marty McFly.

-Nate pitches a new "Baby Geniuses" movie with plans to kill all the baby geniuses.

-Ben has several pitches extending the worlds of "Pleasantville," "Fight Club," and "Highlander."

-Bonus Discussion -- Superior Sequels

-The gang share sequels they feel are better than the original film, including "Halloween III," "Saw 6," "Aladdin: Return of the Jafar," and "Evil Dead II"

Direct download: pitch_19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:50pm EDT

Thanks for sticking with us. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and have much to talk about. The guys discuss their involvement in the 48 hour film festival last weekend, movies they've seen, specifically the "Total Recall" remake, then it's off to pitch movies about technology gone wrong and come up with comeback vehicles for the former Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Along the way they also discussthe nature of God's body parts, 80s summer camp us vs. them metaphors, how Adam West's TV show saved Batman, the theory of Chris Tucker's potential connection to Osama bin Laden, whether Warwick Davis is the greatest actor who ever lived, the Madea room, recording in a houseboat, the sex robot suffrage movement, how "Last Action Hero" is an underrated film, and the sad circumstances of Sinbad's life.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 18 includes:

-The guys talk shop about their short film for the 48 hour film festival in Columbus.

-Can Batman ever retire? This is exactly what's wrong with America!

-Eric found two movies worse than "Dark Shadows" -- "Mirror Mirror" and "The Watch"

-Ben feels condescended to by the three-boobed lady in the "Total Recall" remake.

-Nate's mind is blown by the theory that Ferris Bueller is a Tyler Durden-esque imaginary figure.

-This Week's Pitch -- Technology Gone Wrong!

-Eric and Nate independently come up with the exact same pitch!

-Ben pitches tales of sex robots, teleportation, and "grey goo" (it's people!).

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys spitball comeback vehicles for the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger.

            Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking the week off after having competed in the Columbus 48-hour film festival, a regional competition where applicants write, direct, shoot and edit a short film in a 48-hour window given certain particulars and a randomly selected genre. The boys are tapped out, but they'll discuss the process and results in next week's news segment. Stay tuned and we suggest giving the previous podcast a listen or two in the meantime.

Category:general -- posted at: 11:15am EDT

This week the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest, Drew, who's more than ready to get his hands dirty with this show of shows. The gang attempts to come up with the most offensive pitches possible, so you know this podcast is going to be a memorable one as well as a disturbing look into the dark reaches of the human mind. Along the way the guys talk about LARP-ing, the matronly wisdom of the Madea movies, the continuation of the East Coast/West Coast rap fued with Tupcac's hologram, the literal title demands for "the Dark Knight Rises," what accent Tom Hardy is going for as Bat villain Bane, the instinct within all orphans, and the long odds of putting a bunch of coats on a bunch of orphans.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 17 includes:

-Drew explains about tabletop games including... Panty Explosion. This exists!

-Drew makes the deciding vote over who wins from last week's battle over "Donnie Darko."

-The guys discuss their mixed feelings over "The Dark Knight Rises" in spoiler-free form.

-Ben admits that "The Avengers" is at least a movie, something he cannot say about "Twilight."

-This Week's Pitch -- Most Offensive Pitch!

-The guys all take turns pitching what may be the most offesnive pitch properties imaginable. You'll have to listen for all the dirty details.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-And then the guys take one of those offensive pitches and give it the Disney treatment.

-Ben finally comes forward with three movies he liked from 2012 thus far.

          And make sure to check out Drew's blog and storytelling expertise for hire.

     Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_17.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:43pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest star, favorite fan e-mailer, Megan, who complained about Eric's pan of "Donnie Darko" and threatened to do very bad things to him with a "rusty saw blade." She made a special trip to inflict maximum justice on Eric. Together, the gang pitch darker adaptations and interpretations of nursery rhyme and fairy tale stories, and then Eric and Megan finally put to rest whether "Donnie Darko" sucks or rules. They'd like to also apologize for the crinkling sound. Also during the conversation, they talk about whether Olivia Wilde was alive in the late 80s, whether Captain Planet and Gaia ever got it on, Mark Wahlberg's comedic range, examples of modern-day feminism, the eternal lonliness of Team Ben, whether horses should be tasked with repairing dead people, the Madea challenge, and how the fate of the world rests with a very sensitive part of Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 16 includes:

-The guys welcome special guest and famous listener e-mailer/threatener of Eric, Megan!

-When it comes to "Capt. Planet," is the Heart kid the weak link or a potential world-domination player? If only he'd use his crummy powers on people instead of monkeys.

-Team Ben: an island of lonely sadness?

-Nate says "Ted" is exactly what he expected from a big screen Seth MacFaralne film: suck

-This Week's Pitch -- Fairy Tale Adaptation!

-Nate pitches a "Citizen Kane"-style expose on depressed record exec, Humpty Dumpty.

-Eric adapts a short story that his 7th grade teacher called "too dark."

-Megan pitches a Cinderella with intense foot pain and deals with the Devil.

-Ben pitches a monster-of-the-week TV series about a team of supernatural mercenaries.

-This Week's Game -- Court of Public Opinion!

-In a new game, Eric and Megan debate the merits of "Donnie Darko" and cross-examine one another.

-The guys need YOU to vote and say which side you found more persuasive. We'll have the results next week.

        VOTE by sending your selection to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_16.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:36pm EDT

Oooo folks, it got all kinds of serious on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcast this week. Ben and Nate duke it out over their differing opinions on the summer blockbuster "The Amazing Spdier-Man" and Eric tries to play referee. This contentious debate lasts so long that the guys had to scrap the game this week. After the air clears, the guys reboot previous pitches from the show. Along the way the conversation drifts to the sexual performance aid of the podcast, morning news DJs covering serious news events, whether good mothers should know the extent of their children's genitalia, the Ernest franchise, the preciptious danger Christmas always seems to finds itself in, but mostly it's all about "Spider-Man."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 15 includes:

-Once again Funny or Die.com rips off one of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" board game pitches.

-Eric and Nate greatly recommend checking out quirky indie romance "Safety Not Guaranteed"

-"The Amazing Spider-Man": Too much same-ness? Closer to the comic? Reboot? Enjoy.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption!

-The gang reboots one of their earlier pitches with a new/better one.

-Nate pitches a superhero movie for the forgotten classic character, Arm-Fall-Off-Boy!

-Eric pitches a grown-up version of the cartoon "Doug."

-Ben pitches a zombie-apocalypse aftermath drama series. How do you move on after dismembering your friends and neighbors?

-This Week's Game -- None!

-They literally spend so long debating "Amazing Spider-Man" that the game had to be scrapped this week. Stay tuned next week for a possible guest star.

        Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29am EDT

It's the moment the world has been waiting for. Internet celebrity and show mascot Chris Holben joins the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" as a very special guest star. The guys talk about 2012 in movies since they've reached the halfway mark, and then the guys adapt video games into movies and then adapt difficult properties into video games. Along the way, with the aid of Chris Holben, the guys find conversations about Chris Holben masks, how ice skating sexual intercourse is the manliest thing possible, wondering when "Oriental" became kinda racist, "Cop Out" vs. "The Other Guys," Chris Holben's refusal to let his sister come onto the podcast, "Brave"s uniboob maid character, how everyone invariably tries to build a phallus in "Minecraft," Ben's little-seen but still existing moral center, the "Fox News" game and its xenophobia and rage bars, bullet-reflecting muscles, and seeing how the sausage gets made.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 14 includes:

-Chris Holben details how his life has changed forever since being mentioned on the podcast, including exclusive details on "Chris Holbern 2."

-Chris Holben has some very choice words for Ben over Ms. Jennifer Lawrence.

-The guys each give their 3 best movies of 2012 and the worst so far.

-Ben says "Brave" is the second-worst Pixar movie; why must feisty heroines be so vague and nonspecific when dealing with witches?

-This Week's Pitch -- Video Games!

-Chris Holben pitches a "Minecraft" movie along the lines of "Inception"

-Nate brings "Minesweeper" to life in the vein of "The Hurt Locker"

-Eric pitches the hottest new medical drama -- "Dr. Mario."

-Ben offers "Sonic the Hedgehog" as a Corey Haim/Corey Feldman vehicle and "Pac Man" as an existential fantasy/horror movie.

-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!

-The gang has to take a property not likely to be a video game and make it so.

-Nate pitches a "Hoarders" game and details his dislike for "Family Guy"'s sense of comedy with his game that is interuppted by nonstop nonsensical cut scenes.

-"The Expendables: The Game:" Now you can download every crummy action star from the 80s!

-Ben makes "The Truman Show" into a "Sims" stye game, then turns the old Rankin Bass toons

Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:58am EDT

This week the guys complete the Trilogy of Geek with Eric getting a chance to geek out over "Star Wars." The "Dirty Sons of Picthes" gang extend the "Star Wars" saga into the sequels that George Lucas says he'll never make after the fanboy backlash he got from his prequels, then the guys play a game of Genre Swap with the first "Star Wars" flick. Along the way, the guys have some strange conversations about the exclusive nature of the Disney princess line, evil Wall Street sleep bankers, the antebellum Southern "Dirty Sons of Pitches" doppelgangers, whether all the re-remembered memories are necessary in the Bourne franchise, their favorite animated films, old racist cartoons, whether Rancors can qualify as Jedis, Hutt lifespans and pregnancies, the long con of the South, and how green skin magnifies the hotness of women, especially those with red hair.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 13 includes:

-Ben apologizes (!) for one (!) component he felt may have been misogynistic from last week (only one?).

-Nate and Eric differ on "Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and say "Brave" is second-tier Pixar.

-The guys discuss the current state of animation, 3D, 2D, and anime tentacle rape porn.

-Is the "Disney Vault" really the threat they make it out to be? What are they hiding inside?

-This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize "Star Wars"

-Eric takes over for George Lucas and begins a new trilogy, Episodes 7-9

-What are the limits of The Force? Can it be used to un-Force someone de-Forcing your Force powers?

-The one who will bring balance to the Force.... born of a... taint.

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-The guys swap "Star Wars" into the genres of spy thriller, screwball romance, and Western

-Stay tuned next week for a very special guest star.

             Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_13.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:46pm EDT

The Trilogy of Geek continues with Part II! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are spinning off in all sorts of directions with our first podcast recorded at night. So in this "after dark" edition, you get the guys pitching their own spin-off movie or TV show and then they recast the TV show "Game of Thrones." Along the way they have strange detours about the cannibalistic nature of the Rock Eater in "The Neverending Story," Goerge W. Bush's head on a pike becoming a collector's item, alien abortions, Nate retiring the Thora Birch Hottest Woman of the Year title, Ben's workplace argument over whether Ben in "Ben" was a rat or a mouse, kicky boots, whether Alan Cumming has ever been good in anything, House Ass Face, the redundancy of porno-izing "Game of Thrones," Jodie Foster vs. Ed Norton, and Nate's refusal to accept Brooke Shields as an actress.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 12 includes:

-Listener mail! One of our female listeners has a message for Eric over his pan of "Donnie Darko"

-Discover what the "right stuff" meant for our early space travelers.

-Eric says "Prometheus" will not play well in Kansas or for people who like plots to make sense

-Nate and Ben almost come to blows over a heated hot or not debate over the attractiveness of actress Jennifer Lawrence and whether or not she is "chubby" (Nate: hot, Ben: not).

-Ben talks about a weird, grisly, German animated film "Felidae." Not for cat lovers.

-This Week's Pitch -- Spin-offs!

-Eric gives a badass character from "Serenity" his own movie, and with added Christina Hendricks zero-gravity nudity.

-Ben pitches, what else, a "Star Trek" spin-off

-Nate pitches an epic miniseries following the 300-year reign of the Targaryens in "Game of Thrones"

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The guys recast HBO's "Game of Thrones" series as if it aired in the 1980s (quick, how many little people actors can you come up with?)

-A Brat Pack reunion in Westeros?

           Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:54pm EDT

Did you miss them? The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from their brief hiatus and are bringing old franchises back to life as well for this week's pitch. This week begins our Trilogy of Geek, and Ben gets to geek out first. The guys catch up with the movies they saw recently, then Eric and Ben play a round of "Defend Yourself." As always, the guys get off on conversation tangents like Sir Isaac Newton's pressure to come up more laws that could be as good as his first three, the Club for Understanding Nutbearing Trees, how Hollywood keeps ripping us off, how Kristen Stewart will never be the "fairest of them all," inside vagina POV shots, the eternal mystery of how many "Police Academy" movies there are in existence, psychic doctor TV show, and making sure to name your castle and your speedboat the same name for future clarity.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 11 includes:

-What you waited for: Isaac Newton/da Vinci fan fiction.

-The guys run through their thoughts on a battery of movies seen during the hiatus.

-"Hitler Meets Christ" Surely these two might have some differences.

-Canadian mobsters are the most pleasant, considerate guys who will ever shoot you in the back of the head and bury you in a shallow grave.

-This Week's Pitch -- Revive a Dead Franchise!

-Eric turns "The Evil Dead" into a post-apocalyptic TV show

-Nate resurrects the "Police Academy" franchise as well as a TV show no one else on this earth remembers ("The 100 Lives of Captain Black Jack Savage")

-Ben takes his beloved "Star Trek" into a bold new frontier: on a mysterious island with weird crap.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Ben defends the Shatner-directed "Star Trek" nadir, "Star Trek V: The Final Frontier"

-On the flipside, Eric defends his hatred of cult favorite "Donnie Darko"

-The guys get tied up in knots trying to figure out whether Donnie should have just stayed in bed

               Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:56pm EDT

We've sifted over ten hours to gather you the best, funniest, and weirdest highlights of the first ten podcasts from your "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Relive the magic and listen to some of our favorite bits. We also wanted this podcast to serve as a nice introduction to who we are and what kinds of things listeners can expect from our shows. So strap in and get ready for our super fun Best Of: Volume 1 (it's implied that it won't all go downhill from here on out, but who knows?). Share us (and this episode) with a friend. You'll be glad you did.

Also available on iTunes!

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: best_of_vol_one_COMBINED.mp3
Category:Best Of -- posted at: 5:40pm EDT

As a bonus for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, Ben and Nate recorded a feature-length commentary for the atrocious 1986 teen horror movie, "Dreamaniac." From the curious, stroke-inducing title, to the ridiculous nonchalance of all the teens to witnessing murder, to future porn star Ashlyn Gere as an evil succubus summoned for unexplained reasons, to the nonsensical twist ending, this terrible movie broke us. It's available on Netflix instant streaming and we only advise people to watch this movie while listening to our standardly stream-of-conscious commentary.

We talk about what a feministic 80s horror movie would entail, the nature of dremaing about Eleanor Roosevelt, were-cougars, the practicality of safe sex involving socks, Ritz cracker's involvement, being electrocuted through simple cords, sex with succubi, the danger of wearing briefs, the movie's implicit stance on gun control, and what the hell exactly is a dreamaniac.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: Dreamaniac_commentary.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 6:19pm EDT

Don't have a cow, man! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reliving the glory that were the 1990s. So snap on your slap braclet, break out your Trapper Keeper, and get ready for nostalgia mixed with our signature pop-culture insanity. The guys talk about getting their first press review, pitch their version of the ultimate 90s movie collaborations, and then take famous 90s movies and adapt them to wildly different genres. As usual, Nate, Eric, and Ben also find time to talk about yogurt fetishes, extreme marketing, quad breasts, extreme therapy sessions of Kate Winslet, where actor Wallace Shawn hoards his gold, the ration of computer hacking to kung-fu for a 90s movie, and what Ben would do with a Chik-Fil-A in his own home (hint: dispute the existence of God).

We're taking a short time off, but in between the next podcast (Episode 11) we'll be releasing an audio commentary for a film available upon Netflix streaming and also a "Best of: Volume One" for newcomers. Keep coming back valued listeners because we'll have plenty more to entertain your ear holes with.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 10 includes:

-The guys get into an extended conversation about GoGurt before they even introduce their names

-We got reviewed by another podcast -- "Poddammit." Affirmation that what you're listening to is awesome!

-Nate tears apart "Shark Night 3D" and villainous rednecks using terms like "moral relativism"

-Ben found the only thing that could top "Total Recal"'s three-boobed woman... a four-boobed woman

-This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate 90s Movie!

-Eric pitches an adaptation of "Toe Jam and Earl" with Will Smith and Jim Carrey

-Nate pithes a romantic comedy/girl power all-star venture (there will be pogs as well)

-Ben pitches a movie that has surf skaters, gold, and Cowabunga Mountain

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-We swap "Forrest Gump," "Home Alone," "Clueless," "Clerks," "Titanic," "Jurassic Park," and "Armegeddon"

-Nate defends "Titanic" and the principles of weight displacement, volume, and floating doors

                   Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest, George, as we take a look back to TV shows we cherished as children and update them to into modern re-imaginings. The guys then play another round of What That Is? trying to come up with movie synopses via title and cast. Along the way they get sidetracked by discussions over the exact number of beads Ben is worth, Rutger Hauer and his amazing train that runs on dreams, reasons for the decline of mummies, whether John Turturro's testicles can be a metaphor, the 80-year-old man in charge of the Hollywood Remake department, the many Steve Urkels, the quality of "A Goofy Movie" and its soundtrack, and the Butter Commission's emergency response to "Last Tango in Paris."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 9 includes:

-The Avengers vs. orphans! Hulk smash feelings of isolation!

-Rutger Hauer makes a surprise guest appearance! Thank you, enchanted railroad industry.

-George sees "1000 Words" and has a bone to pick with the magic tree of death

-"Dark Shadows" both sucks and blows; does Tim Burton ruin every remake?

-This Week's Pitch -- Childhood TV Show!

-George pitches a reunion of "Boy Meets World" and Mr. Feeny's ghost

-The gang goes on an extra long trip down memory lane with the TGIF family comedies

-Ben pitches "Power Rangers" as an examination on 9/11 anxiety

-Nate pitches an "Exo Squad" update; Eric angles a few ways to make ALF relevant again

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-"Spinning into Butter" (2009): A tale of Rumspringa gone wrong?

-"The Man From Left Field" (1993): Burt Reynolds finds redemption and spicy hobo-on-hobo love?

                 Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:01pm EDT

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." And we thought the last podcast was our geekiest one yet. In honor of the first big summer movie of the season, "The Avengers," the boys get their tights ready and talk shop over super heroes. They then pitch their own original super hero movies, or an adaptation of a bottom-level hero, and then for this week's game the gang recasts "The Avengers" as if it came out 20 years ago. Along the way, they get sidetracked by ridiculous conversations over the archaic notion of a box of porn, using arrows as short-range weapons, the horror and effectiveness of the end result of a "Ring" porn, Ben's magic porn blue fairy, ghosts lending a helping hand, the inequality of powers with super hero groups, how reading Ayn Rand turns people into douchebags, St. Peter's tech porblems in heaven, Nazi American robots, and Gary Busey as an murderous gingerbread man.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 8 includes:

-Christian found footage horror film "Harmless": "A big box of porn possessed by long-haired masturbation demons"

-The guys review notes on the big "Avengers" movie; Eric felt a nerd gasm, Ben was left wanting

-Nate was slightly disappointed that it didn't want to do more than be the best Comic Book Movie

-This Week's Pitch -- Super Hero Movie!

-Eric pitches a trilogy around the "Batman Beyond" cartoon series

-Ben pitches a super hero that even crusty Ayn Rand could love

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The gang recast "The Avengers" as if it was released in the year 1992 (Goldblum power!)

-Ben decries Scarlett Johansson's acting ability, Nate mourns for his beloved Thora Birch's career

         Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:32pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are gonna go back in time. This may prove to be our geekiest podcast yet, that is, until the next week. We talk all about the fanboy hatred over the "Star Wars" prequels and George Lucas. Ben defends the man, Eric bemoans the changes, and Nate attempts to play referee. In the middle of this, the boys engage in a conversation over who claims ownership over art -- the artist or the community? From there, they continue their nerdgasm by pitching time travel movies, Ben defending the "Matrix" sequels, and getitng caught up in subjects such as Jewish vampire hunters, the "Eight is Enough" killer, whether Ewoks are just as bad as Jar Jar Binks, Nate's disdain for thinking yourself into the past a.k.a. "Somewhere in Time," horses in cheerleading outfits, and our combined appreciation of "Can't Hardly Wait."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 7 includes:

-A brief discussion on the usefulness of holiday-themed weaponry against vampires (Kwanza?)

-Nate shares why "The Raven" sucks but commends the motives for the film's serial killer

-An epic geek-off between Ben and Eric over the "Star Wars" prequels and George Lucas' tinkering; our most heated debate yet, you can feel the spittle

-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel!

-Eric's bizarre pitch must be heard to be believed

-Nate pitches a time-travel screwball romance

-Ben also pitches a time-travel romance, and then comments about going back in time to impregnate your grandmother... so... personal growth?

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Ben defends the "Matrix" sequels

-Nate defends "Bring it On"

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_7.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:07pm EDT

Your beloved "Dirty Sons of Pitches" crew is going to some dark places. We're all about the horror and horrific in today's podcast, inspired by the meta horror-comedy, "The Cabin in the Woods." The gang has a lively discussion on scary movies, movies that spooked them as kids, and all sorts of tangential topics like Ben's obsession with the "Puppet Master" movies, novelty check checkbooks, the majesty of Abe Vigoda in "Good Burger," Rob Schenider atrocities, cheating with "Choose-your-own-adventure" books, the design flaws in nightmare facilities, Maury Povich's fascination with gender confusion, and lies our parents told us about the end to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 6 includes:

-The guys respond to their first listener mail!

-"Puppet Master 3" = "Inglourious Basterds" but with more puppets

-Even though all three enjoyed "Cabin in the Woods," the guys get into a heated debate over the genre and genre critiques and genre classifcation; Ben wanted more horror, less meta

-The boys open up and share different movies that scared them as kids

-This Week's Pitch -- Horror Movie!

-Nate pitches a horror flick based upon his fear of revolving doors

-Eric pitches a modern remake of "Freaks"

-Ben pitches a cannibalistic curse movie, then eats his fingers

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The gang comes up with a project for Ashlynn Yennie, star of "The Human Centipede I and II"

-Nate doesn't get the escalation of adding more humans to your human centipede

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_6.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang knocks their heads together to discuss the appeal of 3D movies, or lack there of, and China's decision to ban the re-release of "Titanic" due to "3D nudity." The trio also have to pitch a movie based on a classic board game, then lastly the guys play Adapt the Unadaptable and adapt their own podcast into a board game. Of course the boys get caught up in strange subjects like boomerangs that don't come back, the real-life animated "Titanic" movie and its rapping dog, the different versions of the game Guess Who? for hate groups, the negative consequences of combining your gory scenes with your T&A, "Twister" in twisters, the sad Elephant Man-like existence of Mr. Bucket, Ben's adoration of "Critters 2," and, most often, the topic of third-boob erotica as popularized in "Total Recall."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 5 includes:

-By the end of this ep, you will know what "fallacious" means

-Kate Winslet nudity is the key to all emerging democracies

-3D: Why are there so many things flyin' at my face?

-We crack the Keith David Code meant for Ben

This Week's Pitch -- Board Games!

-Eric pitches "Guess Who" as a serial killer thriller

-Nate pitches "Sorry" and "Trouble"

-Ben pitches, among others, an epic fantasy for "Chutes and Ladders"

This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable

-"Dirty Sons of Pitches: The Game" -- collect the whole set!

-Finally, are three boobs better than two? The debate continues...

Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_5.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:48pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome special guest George to the crew. The gang's focus this week is on the inordinate amount of remakes and sequels in risk-averse Hollywood. The pitch this week is a sequel or remake to a movie over 20 years old. The game this week is What That Is?, where the host gives a title and cast and the other guys have to fake a plot synopsis. But of course, what really happens is that this foursome takes several detours of the scatological and bizarre variety, like reverse glory holes, the "Air Buddies" franchise and puppy milk, Roman Polanski's Hot Tub Time Machine, the Russian Roulette handbook, "Space Jam" as a documentary, and a powerful misunderstanding of the female anatomy. Catch us on YouTube as well now, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 4 includes:

-A new system of measurement that's far better than the metric system

-"The Sound of Music"'s spooky connection to "The Hills Have Eyes"

-"Home Alone 5" where Kevin busts some ghosts? Somebody see if Joe Pesci is still alive.

-The solution to world peace: Flinstone's style inducing of amnesia

-The guys share remakes they felt were better than the original

-This Week's The Pitch -- Sequelize It!

-George pitches sequels to "The Third Man" and "Taxi Driver" and misreads "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

-Ben pitches reamkes of "Metropolis" and "Robot Monster"

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-1994's "Blink" -- a tale of one eyelid-less woman's plight against Norwegian Big Lumber

-2003's "Monsturd" -- a heartwarming tale of feces

Wanna give us suggestions, comments, marriage proposals? E-mail us at pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_4.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:48pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang talk about the rating squabble of the anti-bullying documentary "Bully," which leads into a lengthy discussion about the weird rules of the MPAA and its inconsistent rulings. The boys then play their movie-related games while hopping from one ridiculous idea to the next like the theoretical tiny feet of Turkish people, how many F-bombs it takes to ruin a child's innocence, rating grief on an R.L. Stein scale, the shocking dark backstory to Thumper in "Bambi", and making obscure pop-culture references that no one in their right mind should know ("Theodore Rex"?). It is our curse and our gift.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 3 features:

-Benjamin Franklin loved turkeys or did he looooove them?

-MPAA: "graphic nudity" equals onscreen pubic hair, and other rating peculiarities

-How can a planet of black racist stereotypes end up being more misogynist than racist?

-Eric talks about "21 Jump Street" and "Being Elmo"

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt the Unadaptable

-Is Harlan Ellison too disturbing? More disturbing than tentacle hentai porno?

-Dictionary: the Movie: "Hey, everybody's got one in their house!"

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-Nate tries to Disney-fy the depressing movie "Precious", Eric reimagines "The Apple Dumpling Gang" with some scandalous Penn State figures

-Ben defends Ursula as the misunderstood and true hero of "The Little Mermaid"

-If you thought Edgar Allan Poe was dull, wait till you add pirates and monkeys!

Direct download: pitch_3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:08am EDT

We're back and we've brought the third member of our crew, Eric. The threesome discuss the name change to "Dirty Sons of Pitches", talk about recent movies seen, and then play their series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas like Transformers going against the Bible, twist endings becoming twist middles, and zombie nature documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 2 features:

-We've become a global phenomenon (we know you're listening, Queen Elizabeth)

-The gang introduces a new system of math

-Eric and Ben debate Michael Bay's changes to the Ninja Turtle origins

-Nate and Eric discuss their reactions to "The Hunger Games" film, Ben admits to watching "Jack and Jill" and on purpose

-This Week's Pitch -- Zombie-fy It!

-Ben renanimates the zombie genre with ten original pitches

-Nate shares his past dalliance with zombie pornography

-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!

-The gang adapts "The Hunger Games" into a porn parody

-Sticking to the youthful age of participants -- does that count as "artistic integrity"?-

Direct download: pitch_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:50am EDT

Welcome to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" ladies and gentlemen of the Interwebs. Our inaugural show introduces the world to regular hosts Nate and Ben as they talk shop with movies and play a series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas such as why the "B" encyclopedia section was cherished, Dirk Dinklage, and Ben's Super Mario Brothers fan ficiton. Yes, you read that right -- Super Mario Brothers fan fiction.

 Also available on iTunes!

Episode 1 features:

-The implications of the absence of encyclopedias

-Ben's "special four-leaf-clover hat"

-Dispute over the ape revolution

-Discussion over "Silent House" and gimmicks, HBO's "Game Change"

-This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize It!

"Pluto Nash Meets Dave in Geosynchronous Norbit"

-Eddie Murphy: a force more powerful than God?

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

Ben defends "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

Nate defends the "Super Mario Bros." movie


Direct download: pitch_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:23pm EDT