Mon, 31 December 2012
The Dirty Sons of Pitches have one last gift to offer 2012, having recorded earlier but held on for this moment. With guest star Chris Holben, the guys talk all about the holiday movies they've seen and then fix movies from 2012. Wait till you get a load of Ben's take on "Looper." They end the podcast revealing their individual lists of the best and worst movies of 2012. Enjoy, world, and a merry 2013 to you all with extra Sons of Pitches to bless your new year. This episode includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Redo a 2012 movie!
-Bonus Discussion -- Best/Worst/Underrated Films of 2012!
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Sat, 22 December 2012
It's a special time of year and the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are in a holiday mood, talking about their favorite winter holiday films and then pitching their own. The game also gets a holiday turn as the guys play Genre Swap, turning horror movies into Christmas classics. Along the way the guys get cuaght tlaking about what the name of the "Kwanzaa menora" is, accidentally ripping off Kevin Smith while simultaneously inspiring him, 2013 calendar of Mayan harsassment, Ben's back tattoo of the "8 Crazy Nights" poster, Peter Jackson tampering with Ben's car brakes, the natural evolution of Goblin King chin testicles, Ben's mother's special Christmas message for him, Ben's Kwanzaa activities with Eric's mother and a pterodactyl, the reluctant zombie, how to properly be eaten by Galactus, the Dirty Sons of Pitches seal of approval, and the sad unknown history behind Ray Combs' hidden life. Episode 31 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Holiday Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 9 December 2012
A special treat for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, another commentary track, this time for the 1994 killer-robot vehicle, "Evolver." It's available via Netflix instant streaming. Marvel at the involvement of notable actor William H. Macy as the voice of the homocidal robot, and then also marvel at the 1994 depcition of virtual reality, which was by all purposes the wave of the future. Listen away! Also available on iTunes!
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Wed, 5 December 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have officially achieved MILF status, turning 30. The guys get into an involved conversation about the ability to separate art from the artist, inspired from Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash's fall from grace. The guys then pitch trilogy re-dos or new takes on movies that have yet to get to trilogy status, then they play a game of Sequel-ize It with trilogy editions for other film franchises. Along the way they tlak about yettis, the formation of the actual words "I really enjoyed Chris Tucker," an appreciation of "Jeepers Creepers 2" and a question on how it goes about upgrading itself, the film catalogue of Woody Allen, the hypocrisy of "The Hangover" filmmakers taking a moral stand, personal stories of walkouts in movies, the font of where love comes from, werewolf connections to polio, the nature of the two children trapped inside Ben's mind, and the mobius strip of potential "Back to the Future" sequels. Episode 30 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Trilogy Additions/Red-dos!
-This Week's Game -- Sequel-ize It!
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Mon, 26 November 2012
The guys get down and dirty with one of the most successful filmmakers working in Hollywood today, Christopher Nolan. There's a look back at Nolan's Batman trilogy, but the guys also discuss the Nolan screenwriting ploys, his emphasis on head over heart, his collaboration with his brother, and what they might expect from the man now that he's completed his stamp on Batman.
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Wed, 21 November 2012
Surprise world, Ben lives! Long-feared dead, he returns to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" to wreck his specific brand of havoc once more on the movie world. The guys take note of the recent election and then transition into pitching movies with a political edge, finally ending with a game of "Re-Cast It" where they cast Lincoln through the different decades. Along the way they discuss strange topics like Ernest Borgnine's cause of his demise, votes per steps taken, Obama's looming tax on manservants, the collective ignorance of backgammon, Keira Knightley's trouble filling out a corset, "Pie in the Sky: Special Vicitms Unit," Billy Jack as America's favorite kung-fu Native American action hero, Lincoln's assasination being related to the apes rising in the future, Rhianna's slam-dunk chances for playing Mary-Todd Lincoln in the 2022 big-screen Lincoln biopic, and Katherine Hepburn as Ben! Episode 29 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Political Thriller!
-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!
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Mon, 12 November 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing a central member. without the pressence of Ben, the guys soldier on with special guest George and pitch violent movies based on children's games or chidlren's movies based upon violent video games. while sending out a search party for Ben, the guys pass the time by also talking about what Ben's ethereal activities would include with the cast of "Angels in the Outfield," the quesitonable decisions behind candy cigarettes, the eventual repalcement of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" with animals, George vs. Nate on the hate-ability "That's My Boy," why James Bond doesn't crack jokes, how "Skyfall" takes a page form "Home Alone," the sadness that was "Piranha 3DD," what Brando's up to in heaven, and a very special cameo appearance at the very end from a magical man and his reindeer. Episode 28 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Children's Movie/Violent Video Game or Vice Versa!
-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com-
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Mon, 5 November 2012
The Internet almost broke with the geek-shattering news that Disney had purchased Lucasarts, notably "Star Wars," for $4 billion. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" assess what this means for the future of the franchise and then play another round of pitch redemption where they redo previous pitches. Finally, the trio tries out a new game, Pitch-or-Treat where they randomly draw a pitch and make it up on the spot. Along the way they talk about Eric's uncanny ability to sense the oncoming presence of orgies in movies, the greatness of the cancelled "Mockingbird Lane" pilot, the prospect of the "Star Wars" prequels getting entombed in the Disney Vault, the stance hobos take on the "Star Wars" prequels, Tyler Perry in action mode in "Alex Cross," Ben's essays on what not to stick the male member within, Thomas Jefferson's swivel obsession, and what a "Casablanca" sequel set 1000 years in the future might be like. -Episode 27 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption II!
-This Week's Game -- Pitch-or-Treat!
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sat, 27 October 2012
The guys team up with Drew to discuss the up-and-mostly-down career of M. Night Shyamalan. They try and dissect exactly what propelled Shyamalan into his downward slide and how the man can reignite his career. Plus we even have defendors of Lady in the Water. And in grand Shyamalan tradition, stick around for the twist (there is no twist -- or is there?).
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Mon, 22 October 2012
It's a monstrously large edition of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Sadly without 1/3 of our crew (we miss you Eric), the guys gain two favorite guest stars -- Drew and George. Together the guys tackle the classic Universal monsters like Dracula and the Wolfman, they pitch new properties based on these classic character, and then finish up with a game of What That Is? Along the way the guys chat about other strange topics like Liam Neeson's daughter being taken by wolves, the music potential of "Monster Mass" parody, George's harried relationship with Weird Al, the evil Mr. Ed encouraging people to kill, the lack of good comic timing with porn stars, Googling "Phister", reanimated Jerry Orbach as the spokesman for monsters, why werewolves should just get a calendar, the first acts of President Frankenstein's Monster, being haunted by a dead person's feet, and a man who would urinate golden kidney stones. Episode 26 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Classic Monsters!
-This Week's Game -- What That Is?
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Tue, 16 October 2012
Drew is back and he'sready to join in on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discussion over the exploding subgenre of found footage movie. The guys talk about what makes a good found footage movie, the opportunities and limitations of the genre, and then pitch their own found footage films and turn other movies into found footage films for this week's game. Along the way the chaps chat about Johnny Depp fatigue, Paul Ryan/Joe Biden slash fiction, the ease of slipping into racism when doing Madea impressions, why Kirk Douglas was trying to take out Melissa Leo at the Oscars, Ben's idea for the grossest movie of all time, what masturbating demons would do during their down-time, writing a found footage movie in a weekend, found footage vs. POV films, having "Thinner" become a Jenny Craig success story/found footage movie, and yettis vs. egg-making clowns. -Episode 25 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Found Footage Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap !
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Sat, 13 October 2012
The guys take a close look at the select films of indie autuer darling Quentin Tarantino. They discuss their favorites and dicuss Tarantino's habbit of appropriating from the films he loves. You won't find another podcast that talks about "It's Pat" as much as this one. Give it a listen, folks.
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Mon, 8 October 2012
Welcome back special guest Chris Holben to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches"and he comes out fighting, taking the minority opinion of the group when it comes to the time travel thriller, "Looper." In honor of that film, the guys pitch sci-fi crime movies and then play a game of Recast It where they take the premise of "Looper" (young and old versions of a character) and try it with different races and genders. Along the way they chat about relations between your present self and your opposite gender future self, the satirical nature of Judge Dredd and what Paul Thomas Anderson's take would be on it, the limitations of the Kansas City mob, "Star Wars: SVU," why you shouldn't strike deals with dragons without a lawyer present, the eventual death of ole' Hook Hands, the nebulous nature of the M in MILF, and Ben's likeness to Indonesian strongman Suharto. Episode 24 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Sci-fi Crime Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Recast It!
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Sun, 30 September 2012
While Eric is on vacation, Nate and Ben take the absence to discuss the works of "Donnie Darko" director Richard Kelly in the second edition of "Director's Cut." Both guys talk about why they enjoy Kelly's first film and their less than enthusiastic feelings for Kelly's follow-up films, like "Southland Tales" and "The Box." They disucss where Kelly has gone wrong and debate whether or not they'll see another stellar film from the likes of Kelly. In honor of "The Box," the guys also pitch a movie based on an old "Twilight Zone" episode.
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Mon, 24 September 2012
The British are coming, the British are coming. No, they've already invaded our televisions. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discuss their favorite British TV shows and then adapt a British Tv property for an Americna audience. Then they play a game of Defend Yourself with the films of Alan Moore's graphic novels, tackling the hardest one, "The League of Extroadinary Gentlemen." Along the way they discuss Robocop's need for self-love to be designed in his costume, the depressing heights of "Law and Order SVU: Russia," the truth that all undecided voters are really Eskimoes, the vastly different endings for the British and American versions of "Life on Mars," Ben's Mr. Bucket as the Most Interesting Man in the World, the unhealthy state of Richard Griffiths, crime inspiring pie-making, how "Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows" ripped off "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," and Eric's unique vacation plans with hillbillies. Episode 23 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- British TV Translation!
-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!
Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 16 September 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are stretching out and rolling out a new series of podcasts focused on examining the career of a film director. For the inaugural podcast, the guys are taking a look at the works of Kevin Smith, the man who inspired the very formation of this podcast. They talk about their favorite Smith films, defend "Jersey Girl," debate the merits of "Cop Out," and even pitch some Kevin Smith-like films dealing with singular locations. Come celebrate Silent Bob and the man who increased all of our vocabularies (and gave us a new definition of "snowball").
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Sun, 9 September 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are blending fantasy with reality, taking a look at alternative worlds and their interaction with our own. The guys pitch projects about an alternative world and then play the newest game, Re-Direct It, where they attach a famous director to a different project. Along the way the guys talk about what to do with waffles when no one's looking, how "Expendables 2" is really a remake of "Street Fighter," perfect DNA cross-breeding with Rashida Jones, Jon Hamm, and Brangelina, that Superman would be the next target of Tea Party outrage, Sarah Palin's influence on the winning football team in "Undefeated," applying Pokemon's catch-phrase to venereal diseases, the necessity of a Hitler Universe, limiting your steps after the five-fingered palm of death, and the many talents of Jon Hamm. -Episode 22 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Fictional/Alternative World Crossover
-This Week's Game -- Re-Direct It!
Send your comments, suggestions, and love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sat, 1 September 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a look at the misunderstood plight of the poor villain. The guys examine some of their favorite movie villains, discuss what makes a good villain, and then share villain-centric pitches. And now that it's September, the guys take one final look at the movies of summer 2012 and cite their favorites, dissapointments, and thoughts as a whole. Along the way they talk about things like how awful Boba Fett is as a bounty hunter, Ben's criminal empire on movie piracy, how one rebels against your whale parents, the prospect of God as a criminal accomplice (He's got some priors), the end of "Cemetery Man," Ben's sudden falsetto voice, a very fleshy asterisk, the powerful sway of porn to decide technological battles (VHS vs. Beta, etc.), a kelp-only diet, Ben's hatred of Julianne Moore, and Tom Hardy cannot be killed. -Episode 21 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Villain Story!
-Bonus Conversation -- Summer 2012 at the Movies!
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Sat, 25 August 2012
Now that they've got another ten podcasts in the can, it's time for another "Dirty Sons of Pitches" commentary for a movie you can watch via Netflix instant streaming. It's the lovely story of a band of crazy summer camp kids and their felonious and near-murderous assault on a lowly janitor. Some may say his eventual bloody payback is entirely justifiable, but that's what happens when you live in a realm of moral relativism. Plus you can see younger versions of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter (if you can find her) before they were stars. Plus a guy from 'Law and Order." The guys talk about the Glazer family sleeve empire, the academic merits of Peep University, how to find Camp Circle Jerk on a map, the inherent untrustworthiness of canoes, a self-help book for the horribly burned and vengeful, sports coats vs. blades and lasers, how all modern filmmakers have ripped off "The Burning," the possibility of a nipple-motivated killer, and the fact that the Weinstein brothers and Brad Grey are actually responsible for this mediocre genre exercise. Listen away! Also available on iTunes!
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Sun, 19 August 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going into dark dark places with this podcast. In honor of the brute, manly action flick "The Expendables 2," the guys are pitching the ultimate 80s movie and/or the manliest movie imaginable. Then for this week's game they porno-ize "The Expendables 2," a movie none of them have seen. Along the way the guys get caught up in weird detours, notably a woman who has a tattoo inside a body cavity, the proclivities of Meryl Streep and her many "Oscars," the irony of the "Breaking Dawn: Part 2" poster taglines, the Bourne franchise if he became powerfully stupid, whether "family films" should have gay content (hint: we vote sure), and what the "Expendables" actors scream when they are spent. Episode 20 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Ulimtate 80s Movie and/or Manliest Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!
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Mon, 13 August 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking well-known movie worlds and expanding them, just like your minds. After a roundup of comic book movie franchise news, and a discussion over recent releases "The Campaign" and "The Bourne Legacy," the focus is on continuing a franchise with a new lead character. No game this week but instead is a continued discussion over movie sequels the gents felt were better than the original. Along the way they talk about strange topics such as split loyalties between America and a feral animal known for the University of Michigan, a complete misreading of the film "Brazil," the improbability of North Korea invading the U.S., Ben's non-ironic defense of Aquaman, the weird Nazi doctor pressence in "Baby Geniuses 2," Superman as potential date rapist and American hobo, the true nature of death panels and their relevance to "Saw 6," and Paul Verhoeven's negotiations over the plurality of women's breasts. -Episode 19 includes: -Corrections: Sinbad is cancer-free and now fair game for mockery. -"Red Dawn" not just a jingoistic fantasy, now with extra racism! -Superhero news roundup and what happens when giant space clouds get it ON! -Nate complains he only got 2/3 of a movie with "The Bourne Legacy" -This Week's Pitch -- Franchise Continuation! -Eric pitches a "Back to the Future" film from the point of view of one family subjugated to time fluctuations by the finicky Marty McFly. -Nate pitches a new "Baby Geniuses" movie with plans to kill all the baby geniuses. -Ben has several pitches extending the worlds of "Pleasantville," "Fight Club," and "Highlander." -Bonus Discussion -- Superior Sequels -The gang share sequels they feel are better than the original film, including "Halloween III," "Saw 6," "Aladdin: Return of the Jafar," and "Evil Dead II"
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Thu, 9 August 2012
Thanks for sticking with us. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and have much to talk about. The guys discuss their involvement in the 48 hour film festival last weekend, movies they've seen, specifically the "Total Recall" remake, then it's off to pitch movies about technology gone wrong and come up with comeback vehicles for the former Governator, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Along the way they also discussthe nature of God's body parts, 80s summer camp us vs. them metaphors, how Adam West's TV show saved Batman, the theory of Chris Tucker's potential connection to Osama bin Laden, whether Warwick Davis is the greatest actor who ever lived, the Madea room, recording in a houseboat, the sex robot suffrage movement, how "Last Action Hero" is an underrated film, and the sad circumstances of Sinbad's life. Episode 18 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Technology Gone Wrong!
-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!
Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Mon, 30 July 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking the week off after having competed in the Columbus 48-hour film festival, a regional competition where applicants write, direct, shoot and edit a short film in a 48-hour window given certain particulars and a randomly selected genre. The boys are tapped out, but they'll discuss the process and results in next week's news segment. Stay tuned and we suggest giving the previous podcast a listen or two in the meantime.
Category:general
-- posted at: 11:15am EST
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Mon, 23 July 2012
This week the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest, Drew, who's more than ready to get his hands dirty with this show of shows. The gang attempts to come up with the most offensive pitches possible, so you know this podcast is going to be a memorable one as well as a disturbing look into the dark reaches of the human mind. Along the way the guys talk about LARP-ing, the matronly wisdom of the Madea movies, the continuation of the East Coast/West Coast rap fued with Tupcac's hologram, the literal title demands for "the Dark Knight Rises," what accent Tom Hardy is going for as Bat villain Bane, the instinct within all orphans, and the long odds of putting a bunch of coats on a bunch of orphans. Episode 17 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Most Offensive Pitch!
-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!
And make sure to check out Drew's blog and storytelling expertise for hire. Send your comments, suggestions, and more to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sat, 14 July 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome another guest star, favorite fan e-mailer, Megan, who complained about Eric's pan of "Donnie Darko" and threatened to do very bad things to him with a "rusty saw blade." She made a special trip to inflict maximum justice on Eric. Together, the gang pitch darker adaptations and interpretations of nursery rhyme and fairy tale stories, and then Eric and Megan finally put to rest whether "Donnie Darko" sucks or rules. They'd like to also apologize for the crinkling sound. Also during the conversation, they talk about whether Olivia Wilde was alive in the late 80s, whether Captain Planet and Gaia ever got it on, Mark Wahlberg's comedic range, examples of modern-day feminism, the eternal lonliness of Team Ben, whether horses should be tasked with repairing dead people, the Madea challenge, and how the fate of the world rests with a very sensitive part of Eric. Episode 16 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Fairy Tale Adaptation!
-This Week's Game -- Court of Public Opinion!
VOTE by sending your selection to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 8 July 2012
Oooo folks, it got all kinds of serious on the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcast this week. Ben and Nate duke it out over their differing opinions on the summer blockbuster "The Amazing Spdier-Man" and Eric tries to play referee. This contentious debate lasts so long that the guys had to scrap the game this week. After the air clears, the guys reboot previous pitches from the show. Along the way the conversation drifts to the sexual performance aid of the podcast, morning news DJs covering serious news events, whether good mothers should know the extent of their children's genitalia, the Ernest franchise, the preciptious danger Christmas always seems to finds itself in, but mostly it's all about "Spider-Man." Episode 15 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption!
-This Week's Game -- None!
Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 1 July 2012
It's the moment the world has been waiting for. Internet celebrity and show mascot Chris Holben joins the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" as a very special guest star. The guys talk about 2012 in movies since they've reached the halfway mark, and then the guys adapt video games into movies and then adapt difficult properties into video games. Along the way, with the aid of Chris Holben, the guys find conversations about Chris Holben masks, how ice skating sexual intercourse is the manliest thing possible, wondering when "Oriental" became kinda racist, "Cop Out" vs. "The Other Guys," Chris Holben's refusal to let his sister come onto the podcast, "Brave"s uniboob maid character, how everyone invariably tries to build a phallus in "Minecraft," Ben's little-seen but still existing moral center, the "Fox News" game and its xenophobia and rage bars, bullet-reflecting muscles, and seeing how the sausage gets made. Episode 14 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Video Games!
-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!
Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Tue, 26 June 2012
This week the guys complete the Trilogy of Geek with Eric getting a chance to geek out over "Star Wars." The "Dirty Sons of Picthes" gang extend the "Star Wars" saga into the sequels that George Lucas says he'll never make after the fanboy backlash he got from his prequels, then the guys play a game of Genre Swap with the first "Star Wars" flick. Along the way, the guys have some strange conversations about the exclusive nature of the Disney princess line, evil Wall Street sleep bankers, the antebellum Southern "Dirty Sons of Pitches" doppelgangers, whether all the re-remembered memories are necessary in the Bourne franchise, their favorite animated films, old racist cartoons, whether Rancors can qualify as Jedis, Hutt lifespans and pregnancies, the long con of the South, and how green skin magnifies the hotness of women, especially those with red hair. Episode 13 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize "Star Wars"
-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!
Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Tue, 19 June 2012
The Trilogy of Geek continues with Part II! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are spinning off in all sorts of directions with our first podcast recorded at night. So in this "after dark" edition, you get the guys pitching their own spin-off movie or TV show and then they recast the TV show "Game of Thrones." Along the way they have strange detours about the cannibalistic nature of the Rock Eater in "The Neverending Story," Goerge W. Bush's head on a pike becoming a collector's item, alien abortions, Nate retiring the Thora Birch Hottest Woman of the Year title, Ben's workplace argument over whether Ben in "Ben" was a rat or a mouse, kicky boots, whether Alan Cumming has ever been good in anything, House Ass Face, the redundancy of porno-izing "Game of Thrones," Jodie Foster vs. Ed Norton, and Nate's refusal to accept Brooke Shields as an actress. Episode 12 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Spin-offs!
-This Week's Game -- Recast It!
Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Mon, 11 June 2012
Did you miss them? The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from their brief hiatus and are bringing old franchises back to life as well for this week's pitch. This week begins our Trilogy of Geek, and Ben gets to geek out first. The guys catch up with the movies they saw recently, then Eric and Ben play a round of "Defend Yourself." As always, the guys get off on conversation tangents like Sir Isaac Newton's pressure to come up more laws that could be as good as his first three, the Club for Understanding Nutbearing Trees, how Hollywood keeps ripping us off, how Kristen Stewart will never be the "fairest of them all," inside vagina POV shots, the eternal mystery of how many "Police Academy" movies there are in existence, psychic doctor TV show, and making sure to name your castle and your speedboat the same name for future clarity. Episode 11 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Revive a Dead Franchise!
-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!
Send your thoughts, suggestions, assorted love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Thu, 7 June 2012
We've sifted over ten hours to gather you the best, funniest, and weirdest highlights of the first ten podcasts from your "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Relive the magic and listen to some of our favorite bits. We also wanted this podcast to serve as a nice introduction to who we are and what kinds of things listeners can expect from our shows. So strap in and get ready for our super fun Best Of: Volume 1 (it's implied that it won't all go downhill from here on out, but who knows?). Share us (and this episode) with a friend. You'll be glad you did. Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sat, 26 May 2012
As a bonus for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, Ben and Nate recorded a feature-length commentary for the atrocious 1986 teen horror movie, "Dreamaniac." From the curious, stroke-inducing title, to the ridiculous nonchalance of all the teens to witnessing murder, to future porn star Ashlyn Gere as an evil succubus summoned for unexplained reasons, to the nonsensical twist ending, this terrible movie broke us. It's available on Netflix instant streaming and we only advise people to watch this movie while listening to our standardly stream-of-conscious commentary. We talk about what a feministic 80s horror movie would entail, the nature of dremaing about Eleanor Roosevelt, were-cougars, the practicality of safe sex involving socks, Ritz cracker's involvement, being electrocuted through simple cords, sex with succubi, the danger of wearing briefs, the movie's implicit stance on gun control, and what the hell exactly is a dreamaniac.
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Sun, 20 May 2012
Don't have a cow, man! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reliving the glory that were the 1990s. So snap on your slap braclet, break out your Trapper Keeper, and get ready for nostalgia mixed with our signature pop-culture insanity. The guys talk about getting their first press review, pitch their version of the ultimate 90s movie collaborations, and then take famous 90s movies and adapt them to wildly different genres. As usual, Nate, Eric, and Ben also find time to talk about yogurt fetishes, extreme marketing, quad breasts, extreme therapy sessions of Kate Winslet, where actor Wallace Shawn hoards his gold, the ration of computer hacking to kung-fu for a 90s movie, and what Ben would do with a Chik-Fil-A in his own home (hint: dispute the existence of God). We're taking a short time off, but in between the next podcast (Episode 11) we'll be releasing an audio commentary for a film available upon Netflix streaming and also a "Best of: Volume One" for newcomers. Keep coming back valued listeners because we'll have plenty more to entertain your ear holes with. Episode 10 includes: -The guys get into an extended conversation about GoGurt before they even introduce their names -We got reviewed by another podcast -- "Poddammit." Affirmation that what you're listening to is awesome! -Nate tears apart "Shark Night 3D" and villainous rednecks using terms like "moral relativism" -Ben found the only thing that could top "Total Recal"'s three-boobed woman... a four-boobed woman -This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate 90s Movie! -Eric pitches an adaptation of "Toe Jam and Earl" with Will Smith and Jim Carrey -Nate pithes a romantic comedy/girl power all-star venture (there will be pogs as well) -Ben pitches a movie that has surf skaters, gold, and Cowabunga Mountain -This Week's Game -- Genre Swap! -We swap "Forrest Gump," "Home Alone," "Clueless," "Clerks," "Titanic," "Jurassic Park," and "Armegeddon" -Nate defends "Titanic" and the principles of weight displacement, volume, and floating doors Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 13 May 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest, George, as we take a look back to TV shows we cherished as children and update them to into modern re-imaginings. The guys then play another round of What That Is? trying to come up with movie synopses via title and cast. Along the way they get sidetracked by discussions over the exact number of beads Ben is worth, Rutger Hauer and his amazing train that runs on dreams, reasons for the decline of mummies, whether John Turturro's testicles can be a metaphor, the 80-year-old man in charge of the Hollywood Remake department, the many Steve Urkels, the quality of "A Goofy Movie" and its soundtrack, and the Butter Commission's emergency response to "Last Tango in Paris." Episode 9 includes: -The Avengers vs. orphans! Hulk smash feelings of isolation! -Rutger Hauer makes a surprise guest appearance! Thank you, enchanted railroad industry. -George sees "1000 Words" and has a bone to pick with the magic tree of death -"Dark Shadows" both sucks and blows; does Tim Burton ruin every remake? -This Week's Pitch -- Childhood TV Show! -George pitches a reunion of "Boy Meets World" and Mr. Feeny's ghost -The gang goes on an extra long trip down memory lane with the TGIF family comedies -Ben pitches "Power Rangers" as an examination on 9/11 anxiety -Nate pitches an "Exo Squad" update; Eric angles a few ways to make ALF relevant again -This Week's Game -- What That Is? -"Spinning into Butter" (2009): A tale of Rumspringa gone wrong? -"The Man From Left Field" (1993): Burt Reynolds finds redemption and spicy hobo-on-hobo love? Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Mon, 7 May 2012
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." And we thought the last podcast was our geekiest one yet. In honor of the first big summer movie of the season, "The Avengers," the boys get their tights ready and talk shop over super heroes. They then pitch their own original super hero movies, or an adaptation of a bottom-level hero, and then for this week's game the gang recasts "The Avengers" as if it came out 20 years ago. Along the way, they get sidetracked by ridiculous conversations over the archaic notion of a box of porn, using arrows as short-range weapons, the horror and effectiveness of the end result of a "Ring" porn, Ben's magic porn blue fairy, ghosts lending a helping hand, the inequality of powers with super hero groups, how reading Ayn Rand turns people into douchebags, St. Peter's tech porblems in heaven, Nazi American robots, and Gary Busey as an murderous gingerbread man. Episode 8 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Super Hero Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Recast It!
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Sat, 28 April 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are gonna go back in time. This may prove to be our geekiest podcast yet, that is, until the next week. We talk all about the fanboy hatred over the "Star Wars" prequels and George Lucas. Ben defends the man, Eric bemoans the changes, and Nate attempts to play referee. In the middle of this, the boys engage in a conversation over who claims ownership over art -- the artist or the community? From there, they continue their nerdgasm by pitching time travel movies, Ben defending the "Matrix" sequels, and getitng caught up in subjects such as Jewish vampire hunters, the "Eight is Enough" killer, whether Ewoks are just as bad as Jar Jar Binks, Nate's disdain for thinking yourself into the past a.k.a. "Somewhere in Time," horses in cheerleading outfits, and our combined appreciation of "Can't Hardly Wait." Episode 7 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel!
-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!
Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sat, 21 April 2012
Your beloved "Dirty Sons of Pitches" crew is going to some dark places. We're all about the horror and horrific in today's podcast, inspired by the meta horror-comedy, "The Cabin in the Woods." The gang has a lively discussion on scary movies, movies that spooked them as kids, and all sorts of tangential topics like Ben's obsession with the "Puppet Master" movies, novelty check checkbooks, the majesty of Abe Vigoda in "Good Burger," Rob Schenider atrocities, cheating with "Choose-your-own-adventure" books, the design flaws in nightmare facilities, Maury Povich's fascination with gender confusion, and lies our parents told us about the end to "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Episode 6 includes:
-This Week's Pitch -- Horror Movie!
-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!
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Sat, 14 April 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang knocks their heads together to discuss the appeal of 3D movies, or lack there of, and China's decision to ban the re-release of "Titanic" due to "3D nudity." The trio also have to pitch a movie based on a classic board game, then lastly the guys play Adapt the Unadaptable and adapt their own podcast into a board game. Of course the boys get caught up in strange subjects like boomerangs that don't come back, the real-life animated "Titanic" movie and its rapping dog, the different versions of the game Guess Who? for hate groups, the negative consequences of combining your gory scenes with your T&A, "Twister" in twisters, the sad Elephant Man-like existence of Mr. Bucket, Ben's adoration of "Critters 2," and, most often, the topic of third-boob erotica as popularized in "Total Recall." Episode 5 includes:
This Week's Pitch -- Board Games!
This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable
Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 8 April 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome special guest George to the crew. The gang's focus this week is on the inordinate amount of remakes and sequels in risk-averse Hollywood. The pitch this week is a sequel or remake to a movie over 20 years old. The game this week is What That Is?, where the host gives a title and cast and the other guys have to fake a plot synopsis. But of course, what really happens is that this foursome takes several detours of the scatological and bizarre variety, like reverse glory holes, the "Air Buddies" franchise and puppy milk, Roman Polanski's Hot Tub Time Machine, the Russian Roulette handbook, "Space Jam" as a documentary, and a powerful misunderstanding of the female anatomy. Catch us on YouTube as well now, folks. Episode 4 includes:
-This Week's The Pitch -- Sequelize It!
-This Week's Game -- What That Is?
Wanna give us suggestions, comments, marriage proposals? E-mail us at pitchcast@yahoo.com
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Sun, 1 April 2012
The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" gang talk about the rating squabble of the anti-bullying documentary "Bully," which leads into a lengthy discussion about the weird rules of the MPAA and its inconsistent rulings. The boys then play their movie-related games while hopping from one ridiculous idea to the next like the theoretical tiny feet of Turkish people, how many F-bombs it takes to ruin a child's innocence, rating grief on an R.L. Stein scale, the shocking dark backstory to Thumper in "Bambi", and making obscure pop-culture references that no one in their right mind should know ("Theodore Rex"?). It is our curse and our gift. Episode 3 features:
-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt the Unadaptable
-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!
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Sun, 25 March 2012
We're back and we've brought the third member of our crew, Eric. The threesome discuss the name change to "Dirty Sons of Pitches", talk about recent movies seen, and then play their series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas like Transformers going against the Bible, twist endings becoming twist middles, and zombie nature documentaries narrated by Morgan Freeman. Episode 2 features:
-This Week's Pitch -- Zombie-fy It!
-This Week's Game -- Porno-ize It!
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Sun, 18 March 2012
Welcome to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" ladies and gentlemen of the Interwebs. Our inaugural show introduces the world to regular hosts Nate and Ben as they talk shop with movies and play a series of movie-related games while bouncing around a series of ridiculous ideas such as why the "B" encyclopedia section was cherished, Dirk Dinklage, and Ben's Super Mario Brothers fan ficiton. Yes, you read that right -- Super Mario Brothers fan fiction. Episode 1 features: -The implications of the absence of encyclopedias -Ben's "special four-leaf-clover hat" -Dispute over the ape revolution -Discussion over "Silent House" and gimmicks, HBO's "Game Change" -This Week's Pitch -- Sequelize It! "Pluto Nash Meets Dave in Geosynchronous Norbit" -Eddie Murphy: a force more powerful than God? -This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself! Ben defends "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" Nate defends the "Super Mario Bros." movie
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