Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording late having just gotten out of a "Ready Player One" screening, and in honor of Steven Spielberg's sci-fi time machine, the guys pitch VR properties, soemthing they amazingly haven't done over the course of 206 other episodes. Along the way they chat about film award eligibility, the Real Dolls, what "gourds must predominate" means, the strange discrepancy between the "Sherlock Gnomes" trailer and its final product, whether we look to theme park rides for our vital historical truths, and why editing the podcast is better for the listeners.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 207 includes:

-I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want... a Spice Girls cartoon series twenty years too late.

-Indiana Jones 5 in 2020.... yay? Will he be in an urn?

-Steven Soderbergh's movie shot on an iPhone is a cruddy looking movie that looks like it was shot on an iPhone.

-The guys saw "Sherlock Gnomes," were flummoxed by the trailer scenes never appearing, and LITERALLY had someone who worked on the movie contact them to answer their theory. A DSOP exclusive!

-"Ready Player One" is first-class spectacle and little else.

-This Week's Pitch -- Virtual Reality!

-Ben pitches a widow bringing his family back to life via VR, a CSI team to recreate final memories of victims in VR, and a man who can download skills to his brain who is being hunted by the government.

-Nate pitches a VR simulator where you can plug in communication and data from an ex and still have them appear via special glasses. 

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_207.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:45pm EDT
Comments[0]

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting their big screen button-mashing on with the newest incarnation of a movie "Tomb Raider," which inspires this weeks pitch, treasure and treasure-hunting stories. The guys also play another game of their ongoing favorite, So Shalit Be, impersonating beloved, pun enthusiast film critic Gene Shalit.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 206 includes:

-Ava DuVernay gets a new big-budget directing job.... with the DCU... which wants to bury itself even further.

-R.I.P. Stephen Hawking, brilliant scientist and the unknowing bringer of doom for the rest of mankind.

-Anton Yelchin's last film, "Thoroughbreds," is a strongly acted, tense indie thriller worth seeing.

-Take in the madness that is a feature-length game of The Floor is Lava thanks to low-budget Canadian horror flick, "The Bed of the Dead."

-The new "Tomb Raider" is perhaps the best video game adaptation at the movies yet even if Alicia Vikander is no Angelina Jolie in the short shorts dept.

-This Week's Pitch -- Treasure Hunting!

-Nate pitches a scheme where teams must hunt inside the dying body of a wealthy magnate who hid his fortune inside his body.

-Ben pitches kids hijacking a family cruise to hunt for pirate treasure, alien treasure hunt, mob treasure hunt, and parallel world heist crews.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-the guys take the movies they watched this week and produce Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for each, descending into absurdity.

Direct download: pitch_206.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:06pm EDT
Comments[0]

Perhaps the most unexpected "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" in the history of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcasting, Disney and director Ava Duvernay's adaptation of the children's "classic" left these guys stunned. This big-budget fantasy epic lacks internal logic, clarity, effective characterization, meaningful plotting, and just about everything you would expect from a successful movie. The guys discuss whether the book may be overrated from its original publishing date of 1961, Ben's shell-shocked state, whether Duvernay was ready for this stage, whether making Oprah a centaur would have been more beneficial, when they lost hope while watching the movie, and whether the universe is really just the ejaculate of some infinite being.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: wrinkle_in_time.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:37pm EDT
Comments[0]

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are sprucing up for the big night at the Oscars and making their predictions and then tying in an awards-season edition of their favorite game, So Shalit Be. The guys also chat about whether anyone has ever played the game Mouse Trap, the ubiquitous of Eric Roberts, whether a "9 to 5" remake can work in this new post-Me Too era, Shakespeare's inspiration for Othello, the missed opportunity of a modern "Death Wish," the glory of "Game Night," and mansplaining how Gal Gadot should pronounce her own name.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 205 includes:

-Kevin Smith almost died and Joss Whedon is bowing out of Batgirl

-Did somebody make "The Shape of Water" earlier, but with a dolphin and a deaf woman?

-Gropers of the Week: Ryan Seacrest, Alex Jones.

-Ben rails against the live-action "Full Metal Alchemist" and the sci-fi thriller "Annihilation."

-"Red Sparrow" doesn't have the conviction to own its sundry genre elements, even with the naked J-Law.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-Bonus Discussion: Oscar Predictions!

-The guys make their predictions for most of the categories for Hollywood's big night.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys play the pun-happy, Gene Shalit-friendly game, this time coming up with Shalit critical blurbs for all 9 of the Best Picture nominees. 

Direct download: pitch_205.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:38pm EDT
Comments[0]

While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are juggling writing recent projects, enjoy listening to Ben's other podcast, "Saturday Night Jive," where he discusses SNL-related movies with his brother, George. This episode is infamous for having the most unexpected of twists: Ben and George find themselves genuinely liking Adam Sandler's notoriously awful 2011 film, "Jack and Jill." Even they are surprised. Maybe you too will think differently after listening to their soul-searching and film analysis. Or maybe you will be driven insane.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: SNJ_-_Jack_and_Jill.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 11:57pm EDT
Comments[0]

1