Dirty Sons of Pitches

As a bonus for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, Ben and Nate recorded a feature-length commentary for the atrocious 1986 teen horror movie, "Dreamaniac." From the curious, stroke-inducing title, to the ridiculous nonchalance of all the teens to witnessing murder, to future porn star Ashlyn Gere as an evil succubus summoned for unexplained reasons, to the nonsensical twist ending, this terrible movie broke us. It's available on Netflix instant streaming and we only advise people to watch this movie while listening to our standardly stream-of-conscious commentary.

We talk about what a feministic 80s horror movie would entail, the nature of dremaing about Eleanor Roosevelt, were-cougars, the practicality of safe sex involving socks, Ritz cracker's involvement, being electrocuted through simple cords, sex with succubi, the danger of wearing briefs, the movie's implicit stance on gun control, and what the hell exactly is a dreamaniac.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: Dreamaniac_commentary.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 6:19pm EDT

Don't have a cow, man! The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reliving the glory that were the 1990s. So snap on your slap braclet, break out your Trapper Keeper, and get ready for nostalgia mixed with our signature pop-culture insanity. The guys talk about getting their first press review, pitch their version of the ultimate 90s movie collaborations, and then take famous 90s movies and adapt them to wildly different genres. As usual, Nate, Eric, and Ben also find time to talk about yogurt fetishes, extreme marketing, quad breasts, extreme therapy sessions of Kate Winslet, where actor Wallace Shawn hoards his gold, the ration of computer hacking to kung-fu for a 90s movie, and what Ben would do with a Chik-Fil-A in his own home (hint: dispute the existence of God).

We're taking a short time off, but in between the next podcast (Episode 11) we'll be releasing an audio commentary for a film available upon Netflix streaming and also a "Best of: Volume One" for newcomers. Keep coming back valued listeners because we'll have plenty more to entertain your ear holes with.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 10 includes:

-The guys get into an extended conversation about GoGurt before they even introduce their names

-We got reviewed by another podcast -- "Poddammit." Affirmation that what you're listening to is awesome!

-Nate tears apart "Shark Night 3D" and villainous rednecks using terms like "moral relativism"

-Ben found the only thing that could top "Total Recal"'s three-boobed woman... a four-boobed woman

-This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate 90s Movie!

-Eric pitches an adaptation of "Toe Jam and Earl" with Will Smith and Jim Carrey

-Nate pithes a romantic comedy/girl power all-star venture (there will be pogs as well)

-Ben pitches a movie that has surf skaters, gold, and Cowabunga Mountain

-This Week's Game -- Genre Swap!

-We swap "Forrest Gump," "Home Alone," "Clueless," "Clerks," "Titanic," "Jurassic Park," and "Armegeddon"

-Nate defends "Titanic" and the principles of weight displacement, volume, and floating doors

                   Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:32pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest, George, as we take a look back to TV shows we cherished as children and update them to into modern re-imaginings. The guys then play another round of What That Is? trying to come up with movie synopses via title and cast. Along the way they get sidetracked by discussions over the exact number of beads Ben is worth, Rutger Hauer and his amazing train that runs on dreams, reasons for the decline of mummies, whether John Turturro's testicles can be a metaphor, the 80-year-old man in charge of the Hollywood Remake department, the many Steve Urkels, the quality of "A Goofy Movie" and its soundtrack, and the Butter Commission's emergency response to "Last Tango in Paris."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 9 includes:

-The Avengers vs. orphans! Hulk smash feelings of isolation!

-Rutger Hauer makes a surprise guest appearance! Thank you, enchanted railroad industry.

-George sees "1000 Words" and has a bone to pick with the magic tree of death

-"Dark Shadows" both sucks and blows; does Tim Burton ruin every remake?

-This Week's Pitch -- Childhood TV Show!

-George pitches a reunion of "Boy Meets World" and Mr. Feeny's ghost

-The gang goes on an extra long trip down memory lane with the TGIF family comedies

-Ben pitches "Power Rangers" as an examination on 9/11 anxiety

-Nate pitches an "Exo Squad" update; Eric angles a few ways to make ALF relevant again

-This Week's Game -- What That Is?

-"Spinning into Butter" (2009): A tale of Rumspringa gone wrong?

-"The Man From Left Field" (1993): Burt Reynolds finds redemption and spicy hobo-on-hobo love?

                 Send your comments, suggestions, declarations of love to pitchcast@yahoo.com


Direct download: pitch_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:01pm EDT

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." And we thought the last podcast was our geekiest one yet. In honor of the first big summer movie of the season, "The Avengers," the boys get their tights ready and talk shop over super heroes. They then pitch their own original super hero movies, or an adaptation of a bottom-level hero, and then for this week's game the gang recasts "The Avengers" as if it came out 20 years ago. Along the way, they get sidetracked by ridiculous conversations over the archaic notion of a box of porn, using arrows as short-range weapons, the horror and effectiveness of the end result of a "Ring" porn, Ben's magic porn blue fairy, ghosts lending a helping hand, the inequality of powers with super hero groups, how reading Ayn Rand turns people into douchebags, St. Peter's tech porblems in heaven, Nazi American robots, and Gary Busey as an murderous gingerbread man.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 8 includes:

-Christian found footage horror film "Harmless": "A big box of porn possessed by long-haired masturbation demons"

-The guys review notes on the big "Avengers" movie; Eric felt a nerd gasm, Ben was left wanting

-Nate was slightly disappointed that it didn't want to do more than be the best Comic Book Movie

-This Week's Pitch -- Super Hero Movie!

-Eric pitches a trilogy around the "Batman Beyond" cartoon series

-Ben pitches a super hero that even crusty Ayn Rand could love

-This Week's Game -- Recast It!

-The gang recast "The Avengers" as if it was released in the year 1992 (Goldblum power!)

-Ben decries Scarlett Johansson's acting ability, Nate mourns for his beloved Thora Birch's career

         Send your comments, suggestions, love notes to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:32pm EDT