Dirty Sons of Pitches

The latest retrospective on the Mexican director who has redfined our thoughts on big-screen creepy crawlies. Guillermo del Toro is a man who likes things squishy and deals with plenty of horror and fantasy imagery. And so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discuss the man's career, their favorite and least favorite films of his, what they'd like to see him do next, as well as his involvement in the "Hobbit" trilogy.

Direct download: del_toro.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 7:50pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch-up with podcasts for 2014, and so here's the latest one recorded back in early October. The guys talk about their entries into this year's MOFA 3 Weeks of Terror short film competition. Also included in this episode:

-Get ready for "Tag: The Movie"!

-Twin Peaks is coming back to obtusely confuse the masses for a new generation.

-Nate thinks "Gone Girl" is a great toxic date movie.

-Ben is impressed with how dark and intriguing "Maze Runner" comes out to be, even if it doesn't make much sense in the end.

-Ben loves "The Box Trolls" to the surprise of no one.

-This Week's Pitch -- Switched-at-Birth!

-Ben pitches a human riased by puppets and puppets raised by humans, a haunted house that raises a child, a young Boogeyman and apprentice, and a boy living inside a killer robot.

-Nate pitches a story of a child raised by the ghosts of his or her parents.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project

-In light of the news on more Twin Peaks coming to Showtime, Ben and Nate think of what they would like to have David Lynch bring to life.

Direct download: pitch_97.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:25pm EDT

We recorded these quite a while ago, but now they're available for you to listen. Relive the late September memories of theatrical releases and celebrity hacking news. In this episode you'll cover:

-More celebrity hacking means more boobs on the Internet, for once.

-Ben explains why he wants to write a meta Shining porn parody and why it would matter.

-Nate finds enough to enjoy "A Walk Amongs the Tombstones."

-Ben enlightens us about worthwhile direct-to-DVD animated films, the gems of the bargain bin.

-This Week's Pitch -- Hoaxes!

-Nate pitches a small town working together to maintain a cryptid hoax for tourism purposes.

-Ben pitches a team of hoax debunkers who are realy supernatural beings.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It: Tusk Edition

-Ben and Nate have their minds go to some very dark places as they imagine different Hollywood actors and the physical transformations that would take place to turn them into horrifying animal hybrids. You will shudder listening to this.

Direct download: pitch_96.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:49pm EDT

This week on The Dirty Sons of Pitches, we do pretty much the same thing we do every week, talk about movies, tv shows, our penises, and so on. Sorry for the editting snafu at the beginning, but if it sounds confusing, just know that the only thing you missed was the first word of a set up for the same joke you've heard from us a million times. Enjoy. 

This Episode Includes

- Play the new Dirty Sons Of Pitches Bingo Game! It's incredibly easy. 

- We discuss the upcoming fall TV season, chide old media yet again, and quickly get off track.

- Nate is underwhelmed by No Good Deeds and Jack Ryan, while Ben talks about a slightly better spy movie, a charming indie with Michael Fassbender, yet another disappointing YA adaptation, and the cinematic abomination that is Jersey Boys. 

This Week's Pitch: Political Science (Fiction)

- Inspired by Atlas Shrugged Part Three, Nate pitches a Reaganite saving the Earth from Liberals and a division of American society based on Red Blue lines. 

- Ben pitches Tea Party Time Travelers, the richest man on the planet, guns for everyone, and a new process for capital punishment involving shiny red buttons. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five....Again

- This week we try the same game we played last week, slightly refined for the better, just to work out the kinks. We promise we'll have a different one next week (which will disgust you). 

Direct download: pitch_95.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:33pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we start with a cogent discussion of genital wigs and computer generated nipples and only get stupider from there. Without a solid pitch this week, we're fixing this years summer movies, and then introducing a whole new game...that we will completely change next week. 

This Episode Includes

Merkins. What are they, and why are we talking about them?

Nate discusses the Scarlett Johannson film Lucy, which he inexplicably enjoyed despite its complete lack of positive qualities. 

Ben raves about The One I Love, pans an internet reviewer's debut film, and watches the other Brendon Gleeson small Irish town movie of 2014. 

Also, Joan Rivers is dead. 

This Week's Pitch: Fix The Summer Movie Season

In lieu of a pitch, we discuss how we would have changed the big summer blockbusters of 2014 for the better, if only we could settle on when the season actually starts. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five

This new game pits host against host as one tries to guess what's in the mind of the other, exploring the dark and twisted psyche of a guy who composes lists of movies featuring amputees and killer robots in his head. Its fun for the whole family.  

Direct download: pitch_94.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, Nate and Ben discuss the Earth shattering news of...The Fappening, in which people we hate hacked the naked photos of people we hate but really want to see naked. We quickly skate by the moral ambiguity of invading the privacy of famous people we don't know the way we deal with all tough moral quandries - through the delightful post masturbatory haze that makes everything alright again. Also, like, some movies and pitches and stuff. Boobs.


This Episode Includes

- Did you not read the part about all the boobs.

- We update the Fantasy Movie Mogul Game, which nobody cares about because it doesn't involve boobs. 

- Do I need a third thing? Come on...boobs.

This Week's Pitch: Heaven And Hell Movies

- Inspired by a movie neither of us have seen, we pitch movies involving Christian mythology in a high concept context. I'm already tuning out for lack of boobs.

- Nate pitches an adaptation of Terry Pratchett and a movie about a reluctant antichrist, while Ben throws out demonic cyborgs, angel babies, and hypocrites left behind. 

This Week's Game: Movies Against Humanity

- We wrap things up with a few rounds of our favorite card game that in no way infringes upon the copyright of a similarly sounding game. Hear about the shocking secret connection between Grease and Flubber, and witness the first movie ever retired from the game due to overuse (Hint: it involves Midgets). 

Direct download: pitch_93.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:10pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons of Pitches, we were kind of tired, and it shows. We talk about a lot of celebrities that have died this year, the secret masturbatory career paths of filmmaking, a paltry list of movies seen, and a pitch based on a movie neither of us even bothered with. Its an episode almost as lazy as this short, incomplete description...

Direct download: pitch_92.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:26pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we grapple with the incredibly important news of Idris Elba's giant penis. Also Robin Williams is dead. We discuss the man's life and work and somehow avoid accussing a victim of suicide of being selfish or cowardly (its easier than you might think, Internet douchebags). Along the way we talk Intergalactic movies in honor of a big movie from a couple weeks ago, and play an all new This Meets That. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 91 includes:

-A whole new metric for judging movies, based on the work of Pauly Shore and David Lynch.

-Other stuff probably.

This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In Other Galaxies/On Other Planets

-Nate pitches a movie based on relativity and Ben ruins it with a Deep Space Nine reference, then Nate redeems himself with a movie set on a world of garbage. 

-Ben pitches, like a crap load of movies, with dinosaurs, deluded probes, and aurora borealas.

This Week's Game – This Meets That!

-Ben has a packet full of movies in lieu of a hat, and with it we get the broken Vegas life of the Little Mermaid, gun toting Willam Defore Jesus, and the most useless prognosticator ever. 

Direct download: pitch_91.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT

This week, we kinda forgot to come up with a pitch, so we watched Sharknado 2 instead. Before we get to our thoughts on the latest Asylum classic, we talk about the other movies we saw this week, including the latest Marvel effort Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Luc Besson's Lucy, and the sex comedy with lots of sex and very little comedy Sex Tape. After that, we get right into a conflict over whether Sharknado 2 is one of the most enjoyable movies of the year, or completely devoid of any enjoyment whatsoever. 

Direct download: sharknado_2.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:39pm EDT

Another week, another milestone 90th episode of the Dirty Sons of Pitches. This week we talk Purge pitches, exploring the many and varied ways you could expand this once thought laughable cinematic universe. Along the way, Ben makes fun of Nate for enjoying Herman's head...a lot. Also we saw some movies, none of which were the Purge coincidentally. We wrap things up with the final This Meets That selection from our now empty hat. Stay tuned for a new more reliably convoluted system. Well, more so than a hat I guess.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 90 includes:

-Do you know what a Homunculus is? Find out, and then continue not giving a crap.

-The guys hint at a new short film to come, then talk new preview picks from DC revealed at comic con, then quickly change the subject to a new pizza place to show just how little they care about the upcoming Justice League movie

-Nate spoils the fuck out of Hercules without a spoiler warning, and eats some crow for his earlier skepticism concerning the Brett Ratner vehicle, then spends way too long talking about Olivia Wilde and Scarlett Johansson nudity.

-Ben declares Tammy the new worst film of the year (America still doesn't count!), and slobbers all over his nerd self proclaiming Snowpiercer possibly the best.

-Pizza Cucinova. Quality artisan pizza made in front of your eyes for low low prices. Seriously, they don't sponsor us at all, they're just awesome.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In The Purge Universe

-Nate pitches a between Purge revenge tale, then backtracks thinking it might already be in the movie. He rounds it out by pitching a movie about people who don't kill people for a series all about people killing people.

-Ben pitches You Got Mail with machetes, an unrepentant pedo story, and a Purge era Batman tale, among several others.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!


-The guys have officially come down to the last two names in the hat, and one of the movies, neither of them have even seen. Still they try their best, and Ben augments the game by throwing out a home game idea of his own that Nate predictably shits on because its just too damn brilliant. 

Direct download: pitch_90.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:52pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches are done talking about hirsute dead directors and are back with a brand new episode, this week covering all things monkey related, from morally ambiguous apes who may one day inherit a dying Earth to the poo flinging primatives of the Tea Party currently trying to conquer our politics. We even game with monkeys on the brain. It's crazy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 89 includes:

-Yet more phallic innuendo!

-Ben and Nate discuss Dinesh D'Souza's America: Imagine A World Without Her, and stumble all over each other trying to adequately describe how terrible it is. In other doc news, Roger Ebert's death is still sad, and we all dodged a bullet with the death of Jodorowsky's Dune.

-Nate declares Snowpiercer one of the best of the year while Ben laments the state of modern high concept coming of age movies talking Earth To Echo. Also, spoilers, Uwe Boll still sucks.

-Both of us saw the new Planet of the Apes movie, and while we question just how much this new entry in the Caesarian Saga moves the franchise forward, at the end of the day we just can't deny the impact of killer apes on horseback double fisting machine guns.

-This Week's Pitch – Monkey Movies!

-Nate outright steals a pitch from The Simpsons with Hail To The Chimp. He then rounds it out with a sci fi flick about de-evolution, pissing off conservatives twice in one show.

-Ben steals from himself for a team of monkey superheroes, then throws out interspecies romance in space, a literal monkey bromance, and an amputee's revenge.

-This Week's Game – Monkey-fi It!



- We take classic movies and add monkeys to them. It's kind of self explanatory. 

Direct download: pitch_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:23pm EDT

This week, in lieu of a new episode, Nate and Ben talk about one of the most critically acclaimed directors of all time, Stan The Man Kubrick. Was he the genius he's crackec up to be, or just an overrated hack? Ben uses the opportunity to release some long pent up rage against The Shining, while Nate reserves his outrage for the Kubrick film that might have been: A.I. In our first posthumous DC, we wrap up by discussing what we would have liked to see if Kubrick could make one last movie. 

Direct download: kubrick.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 8:46pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches are back (Now with descriptions and everything!). They've recuperated from a mutual illness that was in no way instigated by any sexually transmitted shenanigans, and this week they're talking movies based on toys, some potentially disastrous Star Wars news (they hired the Looper guy), admitting to childhood plagarism, and probably other stuff that would require me to re-listen to more of the episode to adequately tease.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 88 includes:

-Tracy Morgan Update!: Still Not Dead

-Ben and Nate both enjoy 22 Jump Street, and believe it or not, Ben is perhaps a more enthusiastic fan.

-Nate tries to justify the schmaltzy manipulative tripe that is The Fault In Our Stars. Ben is not convinced. Then he gets all rapey with Maleficent (and no, I will not provide context for that).

-Ben reports back on a slew of movies including The Other Woman, Under The Skin, and Transformers, and remarkably finds the Michael Bay movie to be the best one.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Based On Toys!

-Ben pitches a Six Million Dollar Man toy movie, then throws out some 90's nostalgia talkin' Sky Dancers, Gator Golf, and Monsters In My Pocket.

-Nate pitches a Board Game movie based on Hungry Hungry Hippos (way to retread, like, episode five Nate), and then suggests the government's bargain basement solution to a post-Transformers world.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!


-The guys kind of waited till the last minute to do the game this week, but still pull it out by literally pulling some movies out of a hat. It starts a little slow, but you get what you pay for.  

Direct download: pitch_88.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:01pm EDT

This week on The Dirty Sons Of Pitches, a lot of stuff! Better description to come, as soon as Nate writes it. I'm tired. 

Direct download: pitch_87.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:23pm EDT

Now down to two, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" took a week off but they were not idle. The guys talk about their short film, which you cna view online now, and then pitch movies based upon foreign properties. Then in honor of "Maleficient" the guys play a game of Cast IT where they cast live-action versions of famous Disney villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 86 includes:

-The guys explain their absence last week making the comedy short film "Bacon and Eggs." Watch it here!

-Uwe Boll remakes "Suddenly", a film that fell into public domain. Did you know that was a thing? Movies you can remake at no charge, folks.

-Ben takes the lonely position of defending Adam Sandler's "Blended."

-"Edge of Tomorrow" is a great summer movie and even Tom Cruise haters can enjoy watching him die repeatedly onscreen.

-This Week's Pitch -- Foreign Properties!

-Ben pitches anime adaptations, the Necroscope series, and a retelling of the Lord of the Rings from the perspective of Mordor (Howard Zinn would approve).

-Nate pitches a Jaspar​​ fforde/Thursday Next film, swapped gender version of "Amelie," and begs for a "100 Years of Solitude" miniseries.


-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast live-action versions of Disney villains like Captain Hook, Jafar, Gaston, Ursula, Syndrome, and others.

Direct download: pitch_86.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a threesome again but for the last official time, as we bid goodbye to departing original Son of Pitch, Eric. His swan song involves pitching movies based upon vacations and then the gang plays one final game of Gut-Check Challenge. Thaks for 85 plus episodes, Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 85 includes:

-What would you give up to make sure there was no cancer in the world? How about... more cancer?

-Edgar Wright is out of "Ant-Man." As is most of our interest in Marvel's Ant-Man.

-Eric dishes about how much he loved the new "Godzilla."

-"X-Men: Days of Future Past" reignites the X-Men franchise by also eliminating the crappy X-Men movies from record.

-This Week's Pitch -- Vacation Film!

-Nate pitches a vacation-as-CIA-cover to nab a high-profile target. It's like "We're the Millers" meets "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

-Eric pitches a family heist movie at France's Louvre. The family that steals together... eats... meals together?

-Ben pitches a combination of "Home Alone" meets "Captian Phillips," and the logistics of Holodeck fornication.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-The guys go round outbidding how many movies they can name starring a selected actor. The first one to three points wins.

Direct download: pitch_85.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches may not be a threesome this week, but we're still just as sexy. In honor of the new hit film Godzilla, this episode is a tribute to Giant Monster Movies, but we still have time to go off on stupid tangents about oh so important topics like self fellatio and poorly thought out porn parodies. We tackle some recent superhero news including a new X Man and our first glimpse at the new Batman, as well as the death of a surrealist icon and the unnecessary dickishness of a professional monkey mimic (see, we can be reductive too!). Also, Jim Belushi still sucks, in case you were wondering.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 84 includes:

- Nate considers Neighbors to be top tier Seth Rogen and then explores the dark and seedy underbelly of people who ride bicycles for a living. Thrilling.


- Ben shits all over the new CGI movie Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, and then re-evaluates his position on Stephen King's It (way more little kid sex than he remembered).


- Both of us see the new Godzilla film as a qualified success - the parts with Godzilla were great. The parts without Godzilla needed more Godzilla. Let Them Fight!

-This Week's Pitch -- Giant Monster Movies!

- Nate pitches Attack Of The Killer Tomatos with Beets (a marked improvement), and then a literal interpretation of the title of a reality show.


- Ben unsurprisingly pitches a movie involving Giant Monster semen, then launches into perhaps the longest and most detailed pitch in the show's history, short of perhaps Chris Holben: The Movie.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!


- For our game this week, its another addition of Vanity Project, in which we…basically bitch a little more about what we didn’t like about Godzilla under the guise of discussing what the big lug should do next.


Direct download: pitch_84.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:31pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited as a threesome and Eric has several movies to get off his chest. Beforehand, the guys talk about recent TV shows that have been cancelled and renewed, specifically NBC's "Community." The gang pitches versus tales, pitting one group against another in some form of conflict. Yeah, it's kind of vague, but go with it. As they spend so much time cathcing up and chatting about TV news, they run out of time for a game this week. Next time, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 83 includes:

-Goodbye Bob Hoskins. We still liked you in "Super Mario Bros."

TV cancellations: no six seasons and a movie for "Community." TBS, save this show!

-Even fans should turn away from Jay and Silent Bob's Groovy Cartoon Movie."

-Eric expounds on "Draft Day," "Amazing Spider-Man 2," "Delivery Man," and, "Dead Heat."

-Ben wishes "Neighbors" was more than an excuse for Jackass-stye pranks. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Versus!

-Eric pitches Terminator vs. Rambo and the ultimate briday battle, nuns vs. vampires.

-Nate pitches robots vs. zombies, dinos vs. zombies, and two spies trying to bring back the good old Cold War. 

-Ben pitches Santa vs. Frankstein, future selves vs. past selves, and aliens vs. the Earth.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_83-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are all flexing those muscles they haven't used since college as they pitch movies based upon famous paintings in relation to the indie film "Belle." Beforehand, they tlak about several big news items, including the revealed cast for "Star Wars Episode 7," go over Spider-Man's second return for a second film to the big screen, and then play a game of Cast It where they envision the Sinister 6 and who would play the famous Spidey villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 82 includes:

-Bryan Singer's legal troubles.... yeah.... so.... that.

-Zack Snyder announced as director of "Justice League" movie as well. There is no relief.

-Nate congrats "Heaven is for Real" for being nice and inclusive.

-Ben enjoys "Amazing Spider-Man 2" but wishes it wasn't all so rushed.

-This Week's Pitch -- Movies Based on Famous Paintings!

-Nate pitches a world of interchangeable body parts a la cubism and how that changes our sense of beauty and identity.

-Ben pitches a LOT of ideas because he knows way more about art history than you ever would have guessed.

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-Nate and Ben forecast the eventual players of the Sinister 6 and who would best play the baddies.

Direct download: pitch_82.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are talking about good plans gone wrong as they pitch Murphy's Law pitches, namely a scheme or event that spirals out of control. The guys talk about recent strange movie projects in development, a scad of movies they watched, then play another game of Movies Against Humanity but they need YOU to judge the winner by emailing Ben and telling the guys who won the game.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 81 includes:

-Get ready for a Peeps movie... to remind you that you hate Peeps.

-Ben and Nate froth wildily over the action awesomeness of "The Raid 2."

-"Oculus" is right up Ben's horror alley, especially with extra Amy Pond.

-Hey, did you expect "A Haunted House 2" to have a rape sequence? Hilarious!

-"Transcendence" is a movie for people that don't know technology. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Murphy's Law!

-Nate pitches a blackmail that spirals out of control, all involving a male pron star's most cherished member.

-Ben pitches a haunted house heist movie and a Rube Goldberg world. Think of the art direction!

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices BUT this time they need you to judge the winner.

Direct download: pitch_81.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" haven't provided a full commentary track in almost a year, so to celebrate Easter, they reopened a forgotten not-classic, 1994's "Dinosaur Island," a movie that could have more accurately been titled, "Big Booby Lady Island and Some Dinosaur Puppets."Ben and Nate bounce around a great array of topics as the film is so boring, which means you too need something else to entertain you, and that is this commentary. As always, look up the movie on Netflix streaming and then synch up when cued. Or you could listen freely to the conversation on early breast implants in history,  the changing standards of beauty, the USA TV network's 90s lineup of original programming, soft-core vs. nudie cuties, and the practicality of breeding.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: dinosaur_island.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 11:57pm EDT

In the absence of Eric, the remaining "Dirty Sons of Pitches" get all paranormal, pitching ghost stories while also playing their game Sequel-Ize it to imagine a Ghostbusters 3, a sequel reportedly ramping up into production. Along the way they also discuss "God's Not Dead" at length, Ben's misconceptions of what an NFL draft is, John Henson leaving Talk Soup, substitute teachers who appeared on physical game shows, the inexorable appeal of Mike O'Malley, the shocking news that science is now able to grow lady parts in a lab, the foibles of the found footage genre, Ben accurately guessing the ending to "Nymphomaniac," the appeal of contractions to the youth, crummy DeNiro horror movies, whether ghosts can reform, and the lack of a sign-off after 80 episodes.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 80 includes:

-David Letterman will gave way to Stephen Colbert in 2015, but does anyone still watch?

-Ben thinks "Best Night Ever" fails to live up to every point in its title. Friedberg and Seltzer!!!

-"Draft Day" will be the highlight of the Cleveland Browns season.

-Nate watched 4 hours of "Nymphomaniac" and had the whole thing ruined by the last 90 seconds.

-Is "God's Not Dead" the most mean-spirited Christian wide release movie ever?

-This Week's Pitch -- Ghost/Haunting Story!

-Ben pitches a "Ghost Hunters"-like group that fakes its own findings, a clone haunted by the ghost of his original DNA, and a rom-com involving two possible suitors, one of them a ghost.

-Nate pitches an evil gym teacher keeping control of his students with haunted gym socks, as well as the story of a haunted toilet.

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-Ize It!

-The guys hash out a topical and satisfying sequel for the "Ghostbusters" franchise.

Direct download: pitch_80_16-55-28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:55pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" put together a lengthy conversation hashing out the best and worst TV finales in response to the hwoling dislike stemming from the "How I Met Your Mother" finale. Afterwards, they pitch movies around nationalistic super heroes in honor of the new Captain America film, and then they wrap things up playing a game of This Meets That.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 79 includes:

-The guys take a crack at the hated "How I Met Your Mother" fianle, opening the door to a larger discussion on classic TV finales that worked, that whiffed, and that deserve defending. 

-Eric and Nate both sing the praises of Aronofsky's "Noah."

-Ben has found a movie that might just be... the greatest film of all time... "Dead Heat." It's got zombies, zombie cops, Joe Piscopo, and 80s awesomeness.

-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier" has it all, including more Gary Shandling.

-This Week's Pitch -- Nationalistic Hero!

-Nate pitches Zeus in Greece and Pharoah Force Five in Egypt. 

-Eric pitches Captain Jack, an Aussie superhero whose getaway is a kangaroo pouch.

-Ben pitches an Israeli superman torn by his duties, a team of Canadian heroes lead by The Mountie and The Beaver, and a communist hero out of time.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The guys play a game combining two random movie titles into a new property.

Direct download: pitch_79.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:15am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited for the first time in a month, and they welcome their pal Alan along for the fun. In honor of a new Muppets movie, the gents are pitching puppet-related films and shows. they talk about the new trailers for "Hercules" and Michael Bay's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" reboot, but mostly they talk about weird tangents and inappropriate conversation topics. The gang plays another round of the newest game, Movies Against Humanity, and it leads to similar hilarious results.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 78 includes:

-Learn about Zest's earlier, ill-conceived ad campaign. You'll never feel Zestfully clean again.

-Could the relationship between Goofy/Pluto relate to Oscar-winning "12 Years a Slave"?

-Alan praises Wes Anderson's "Grand Budapest Hotel" and its fast-paced Andersonian whimsy.

-Ben is surprised by how interesting he finds the world of "Divergent."

-Eric (indoctrinated in the ways of "Legally Blonde 2") catches up with "Mr. Peabody," "John Carter," "Dallas Buyers Club," and "Muppets Most Wanted."

-This Week's Pitch -- Puppets!

-Alan pitches a mockumentry on the skeleton puppet from the Grateful Dead "Touch of Gray" video.

-Ben pitches a puppet serial killer, puppets within puppets within puppets, and a film described as "The Face of Love" meets "Lars and the Real Girl."

-Nate pitches a rom-com involving a famous puppet living in our world, and unknowingly rips off "Magic."

-Eric pitches a big-screen version of "Jim Henson's Storytellers" and a film noir with marionettes.

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

Direct download: pitch_78.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:49pm EDT

Down an Eric, 2/3 of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" embark on another journey into the annuls of the cinema of strange with the Italian splatter horror film, "Taeter City." It's about cannibalism, and consumer culture, and a dystopia, and zombies, but really it's all about how many different ways human bodies can be sliced, diced, exploded, ripped apart, impaled, and overall generally mistreated. But before getting into the muck, they discuss a barrage of movies recently watched including "Divergent," "3 Days to Kill," and "Muppets Most Wanted." Also they discuss Pamela Anderson's would-be film career, the early cartoons of Spike TV, why the nipple seems to be the most offensive part of the human body, and a lot of "Quantum Leap" references.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: taeter_city.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 4:00pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing Eric again this week but to fill his shoes they've brought along frequent guest, George. The guys catch up on movies and then brave into an exciting new game of Ben's design, and by design we mean it's based off of other popular games but with a little twist. "Movies Against Humanity" requires players to draw cards with film titles and then play one per category, but they must argue their case as to why their movie, silly or genuine, should be declared the winner. It's a game they'll actually play again but enjoy the first go-round.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 77 includes:

-The only good thing about the "300" sequel is the greatness of Eva Green.

-Nate and George both catch up with "Nebraska" and enjoy the journey.

-George explains why he hated Best Picture-winner "12 Years a Slave." Hint: he's not racist.

-Ben blows our minds with the no-budget fantasy film, "Tater City." Wait, what?

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's (New) Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-Inspired by another game, and maybe two, the guys try out a new film game that's pretty much like Apples to Apples/Cards Against Humanity, where they draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, the guys must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_77.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:43pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch up, reviewing the 2014 Oscar ceremony, looking back at the career of the late Harold Ramis, and then in honor of the new film "Mr. Peabody & Sherman," the gang pitches adaptations of classic cartoons from before the 1980s. Then the guys play a round of their game Cast It and estimate who would make good choices for live-action versions of two famous cartoon families.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 76 includes:

-The guys recap the most boring Oscars in years and mourn Harold Ramis and his impact on the comedy world.

-"Non-Stop" is as much fun as you can have with Liam Neeson in midair without snakes.

-Ben says "Pompeii" is like "Titanic" meets "Gladiator" and actually worth seeing.

-The terrible fantasy film "Winter's Tale" breaks Ben's brain.

-Nate wishes "3 Days to Kill" was more satirical than being a bland reverse "Crank."

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a pre-1980s Cartoon!

-Nate pitches Droopy Dog as a therapist for toons and a "Producers"-style satire updating one of the most racist, offensive cartoons of the past ("Coal Black and the Sebbin Dwarves").

-Eric pitches a modern-day Johnny Quest adventure and an unhelpful Funky Phantom.

-Ben pitches a dramatic Magilla the Gorilla and resurrects Super President whose secret desguise is... the President of the United States. 

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast the main families for live-action versions of "The Jetsons" and "The Simpsons."

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_76.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm EDT

Without the pressence of Eric, the remaining "Dirty Sons of Pitches" soldier on and endure the 1994 animated German film "Felidae." It's a murder mystery detective tale told from the point of view of talking cats in a human world. and so, get ready for plenty of sex, picture of penetration, and way too grpahic and distrubing violent imagery, including lovingly animated sequences of cat guts. The guys are beside themselves trying to imagine how this movie was ever intended for children, and that's just the start of this puzzle. You'll never look at Germany the same way again. Or maybe you never did.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: felidae.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 2:26pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have a busy podcast this week. They run through the top Oscar categories and predict the big winners, cover a bunch of movies, pitch disaster movies in honor of the big-budget volcano epic "Pompeii," and then play part one of the ongoing game, Fantasy Movie Mogul. The guys draft their team of movies to follow through the year, jostling for the top spot when it comes to combined box-office gross.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 75 includes:

-The guys predict the major categories for this year's Oscar ceremony. Any upsets?

-Eric thinks "RoboCop" is an average action flick that suffers in comparison.

-Ben has a slew of little seen horror films to check out on VOD.

-In his quest to watch every Uwe Boll film, Nate may have found a decent one, and on Netflix.

-Nate almost recommends "Winter's Tale" just for how powerfully insane it is. Come for the magic flying horse and stick around for Will Smith as the Devil. You read that right.

-This Week's Pitch -- Disaster Movies!

-Ben pitches a 9/11 film looking at the lives of those who try to survive inside the Trade Center.

-Nate pitches a horrifying account of the Triangle Factory fire in 1911 that killed 146 people, which led to legislation for new safety standards for workers.

-Eric pitches a modern-day Noah and a heist set against the backdrop of a hurricane.

-This Week's Game -- Fantasy Movie Mogul!

-The guys play the first part of their fantasy box-office game, each drafting ten films to track their profits throughout the year. You can play too at the blog for the game.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_75-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" mourn over some recent tragic news, pitch romantic comedies in honor of Valentine's Day, and then the gents preview some new goals and games heading into 2014, including plans related to their next anniversary show.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 74 includes:

-The guys reflect on the tragic loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

-So... Woody Allen's back in the news... again...

-"Monuments Men" magically finds a way to screw up a surefire premise.

-"Robocop -- where Michael Keaton looks like "a turtle chewing on a piece of lettuce."

-"The LEGO Movie" might not be the 90-minute commercial you thought it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- Romantic Comedy!

-Eric pitches a romance based upon the true story of a woman leaping off the Eiffel Tower. The French have a different idea of romance. 

-Nate pitches a Romeo/Juliet romance where the starcrossed lovers are children of rival college football coaches.

-Ben pitches a romance between rival presedential candidates and "The Matrix" of rom-coms.

-This Week's Game -- None... but News

-Nate previews an upcoming multi-month new game, Fantasy Movie Mogul, and Ben asks for suggestions for a yearlong goal for the next podcast anniversary.

Direct download: pitch_75.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:58pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are strung up when it comes to talking about the strange 2004 film "Strings," a fantasy film populated entirely with marionette puppets (think "Team America"). The creators actually use the reality of the puppets into their storyteling in surprising ways, enough so that this is the FIRST WtHDWJW entry where the guys actually recommend watching (this will surely be a rareity). The guys also discuss the logistics of puppet-related intimacy, taking other creative mediums into their own mythology, and make a passing comment on the recent Woody Allen absue scandal resurfacing. But really, it's all about puppets.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: strings.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:58am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited despite the cold and going back in time to a pitch from one of their earliest shows. The guys pitch time travel movies and properties, then play a new game Build a Pitch, where they go one-by-one saying a word to build a movie logline/premise.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 73 includes:

-The Oscars rescind a Best Song nomination for improper campaigning shenanigans and not because it's actually kind of terrible. Weird fact: sung by a quadriplegic woman.

-Lex Luthor will be played by Jesse Eisenberg? You wasted your nerd rage on Batfleck, fanboys.

-Ben soldiers through "Ride Along" and "I, Frankenstein" so you don't have to. Oh boy.

-Eric says "August: Osage County" is the best he's seen Julia Roberts since "Hook." Since "Hook"!

-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel II!

-Eric pitches a rom-com where a man can flash to the end of a future relationship just by touching a person. Cuts down on the getting-to-know-you stuff.

-Nate pitches a future explorer unstuck in time, randomly being transported every 10 minutes.

-Ben pitches a comic story where an older man mentors his younger self to be a hero. Also, a group that travels through time to bang famous historical figures.

-This Week's Game -- Build a Pitch!

-Styled after an improv game, the guys take turn saying a word, building a movie logline for a time travel movie. This game will probably never be played again.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_73.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are down one son, but while Ben may be snowed in, Eric and Nate do their best to carry on in his name and legacy. The guys take a long look at documentary filmmaking and some of their favorite docs, as well as what it takes to make a great documentary. They then pitch their own doc films and series, with a brief contribution from Ben, and then play a round of Adapt the Unadaptable taking famous docs and transfering them into fictional features.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 72 includes:

-Ben is absent, reporting from the Russian Olympics. Or a Russian prison. Probably prison.

-Tarantino's new script leaks onto the Net and now he wants to take his ball and go home.

-Eric and Nate discuss a new so-bad-it's-good cult movie in the making, Neil Breen's "Fateful Findings." You'll never look at laptops the same way again.

-Eric talks about the documentary "Bronies" and Nate catches up with Oscar-niminated doc, "The Act of Killing."

-The guys discuss in greater detail what makes a good documentary, the likes of Errol Morris and Michael Moore and Alex Gibney, change fostered thanks to docs, and some of their favorites.

-This Week's Pitch -- Documentaries!

-Eric pitches a look at conservative comedians and a film following the real-life "Wrestler."

-Nate pitches a behind-the-scenes doc series resurrecting some of the worst movies of all time by the people involved who bare the scars.

-Ben pitches a look at shark surfers, the most badass thing you can do on the water.

-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!

-Eric and Nate take three popular documentaries (2004's "Super Size Me and "Farenheit 9/11," 2013's "Blackfish") and adapt them into fictional features.

Direct download: pitch_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bundling up from the weather and fighting back against Old Man Winter, namely pitching cold weather ideas inspired by the once-in-a-100-years Polar Vortex. Rather than a game this week, the guys use a bonus discussion to highlight the films they're looking forward to in 2014.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 71 includes:

-Reactions to the 2014 Oscar nominations: everybody do the "Hustle"? Which films surprised and which were snubbed, and who may win.

-Reactions to the 2014 Razzie nominations: The bigger snubs and injustices. We know you know "InAPPropriate Comedy" exists.

-Nate thinks "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" is a message and a soundtrack in search of a movie.

-Ben wishes "Wolf of Wall Street" had cut back on its narrative fat and reundancy.

-"Grudge Match": the worst CGI... EVER. "Polar Expres" got nothin' on digitally young Sly and De Niro.

-This Week's Pitch -- Polar Vortex (a.k.a. Cold Weather)!

-Nate pitches a survival thriller with people trapped in an endless snow storm.

-Eric pitches a treasure-hunting adventure where a lost location is revealed once every Polar Vortex, and a tale of Hell freezing over.

-Ben pitches a warmth succubus, a Mad Max in a frozen world, a post-Ice Age father-daughter drama, and a combination of Frozen and Taming of the Shrew.

-Bonus Discussion: 2014 Hopefuls

-The guys talk about several movies they're looking forward to seeing in 2014.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_71.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" owe the world a commentary, because after some issues with Netflix streaming, they gave up 40 or so minutes into 1995's "Congo," the killer ape action movie that's just as misguided and goofy today as it was back when it was released. Some of the gents even remember seeing the movie in the theater and reading the original Michael Crichton novel. It was a different time in the mid 90s, one you'll discover if you decide to watch "Congo" on Netflix streaming and then sync up your audio to the commentary. Either way, enjoy the fabulous waste of tax dollars giving an ape the ability to sign. So like us!

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: congo.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 12:31pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" hearts may go on but they'll never be the same thanks to reigning box-office King of the World, James Cameron, the subject of the latest podcast subseries, Director's Cut. The gang discusses Cameron's history with action films, his impact on the Hollywood blockbuster, his best and worst films, and what they would like to see him work on next, you know, instead of a thousand "Avatar" sequels for the next 20 years. So don't get your ponytail in a bunch and start listening.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: cameron.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

It's the start of a new year and the best way the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have to begin another year is to devote an entire podcast to Tyler Perry's famous matriarch, Madea. Eric, Nate, and Ben pitch Madea films then play a game inserting Madea into classic older films. Also, is Madea the black Ernest?

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 70 includes:

-Ben may be pregnant. But who's the father???

-Eric declares "Inside Llewyn Davis" to be the tale of an a-hole being an a-hole. The end.

-Shocker: Ben could have used LESS hardcore lesbian sex in "Blue is the Warmest Color."

-Ben and Eric think "American Hustle" is a lot of bad wigs, needless weight change, tacky accents, 70s music, poor casting, science ovens, and side boob.

-This Week's Pitch -- A Madea Film!

-Eric pitches a love that dare not speak its name. Inspired by "Blue is the Warmest Color," Tyler Perry's Madea falls for Oprah. Picture their lovemaking. Now try and un-picture that. Good luck.

-Nate pitches Madea in space and a Madea prison break... from a men's prison.

-Ben pitches Madea as a demon hunter, Madea as president (as a Republican?), Madea as time traveler, and Madea and Big Momma trading places.

-This Week's Game -- Madea-fy It!

-The guys insert Madea into classic films like "Star Wars," "Fiddler on the Roof," "Jurassic Park," "Goldfinger," and "The Artist."

   Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_70.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT