Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking the unexpected role of serving as defenders of the much-derided Tom Cruise action film, "The Mummy." The guys explain why they don't understand all the hate. They then follow that by pitching the rest of the Dark Universe, the latest cinematic universe meant to combine all the classic monsters from Universal's older era. Also, Ben is forcibly capped at five "Wonder Woman" name references.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 180 includes:

-R.I.P. Adam West, the man who saved Batman.

-Terry Gilliam achieves the previously unachieveable and Kevin Smith surprises by being able to keep his mouth shut.

-Does the 2017 "Flatliners" have the worst music choice of any trailer ever? Listen for yourself.

-"Cars 3" is the worst Pixar movie and the laziest.

-Why are the funniest parts of the bachelorette party gone wrong comedy "Rough Night" the parts with ScarJo's fiance?

-Surprise, "The Mummy" is a very enjoyable B-movie and Ben and Nate tackle and counter the biggest charges against this film.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dark Universe!

-Ben and Nate pitch the ongoing Dark Universe films and their monster adventures.

Direct download: pitch_180.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:09pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bringing out the lasso of truth to analyze the big-budget, highly anticipated close-up for Wonder Woman. Ben has a lot to say on the matter and further develops his thesis about the perils of low expectations. The guys talk so much about Wonder Woman that only Ben takes a turn pitching female superhero stories. Stay for conversation on cartoons shooting above the heads of their audience the weird things you might find in vending machines, Yelp reviews for dentists, Ben's stance on all non-Dragon Force music, and the power and detriment of holding onto a hilariously anachronistic article of facial hair.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 179 includes:

-News on the Monster Universe and the Dark Universe a.k.a. the Universal Monster Universe.

-What kind of life awaits the talking toilet in "Beauty and the Beast"?

-Nate and Ben think the French cannibal horror film "Raw" could have been a bit rawer.

-"Wonder Woman" symbolizes everything wrong with moviegoing audiences for Ben, whereas Nate found some enjoyable things. This is a wide-ranging discussion that lasts for a solid half hour. Stay tuned at the end for a discussion over a big, bushy mustache.

-This Week's Pitch -- Female Superheroes!

-Ben shares some of his prior pitches and characters from his complicated comic book universe of ideas.

-This Week's Game -- No Game!

 

Direct download: pitch_179.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:02am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going back in time to the most awesome of decades, the 90s, in honor of the not-so-good remake of the 90s international hit of blondes and boobs, "Baywatch." The guys pitch TV shows from the 90s to be rebooted into movies and take a stroll down memory lane essentially recounting all the various TV shows, known and little known, that they loved.

Available on iTunes

Episode 178 includes:

-RIP Roger Moore, Caitlin Bree, and Zach Snyder's daughter.

-Ben sets the record straight for the "Star Trek" fans upset about the TV show being diverse.

-Ben and Nate differ on "Pirates 5" but agree Johnny Depp isn't even trying anymore.

-"Baywatch" is a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

-This Week's Pitch -- 90s TV Reboots!

-Nate pitches reboots for "Lexx," "Walker Texas Ranger," "G vs. E," "Brimstone," and several more.

-Ben pitches reboots for "Beast Wars," "Mummies Alive," "Secret World of Alex Mack," "Clarissa Explains it All," and several more.

Direct download: pitch_178.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:10pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are shivering timbers and yo-ho-ho-ing it up in honor of the next entry in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise from Disney. They also watch like 15+ trailers for the new TV series coming out this summer and fall and offer their initial thoughts, which are not that promising. Come for the movie talk, stay for the conversations over little person twins, Jared Leto's intense Method acting habits, and who cares at all about a TV show about podcasting.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 177 includes:

-What if everyone on Earth had a secret little person twin psychically linked to them? The guys uncover the truth.

-The guys preview a LOT of upcoming new 2017-2018 TV shows and offer their dismal opinions.

-Ben at long last has seen "The Boss Baby"!

-"Snatched" marks the return of Goldie Hawn who, having seen her shadow, will retreat back to her hole for another 15 years.

-Nate says "Alien: Covenant" is more of the same but there is double the Fassbender.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pirates!

-Ben pitches parallel reality pirates, an alien invasion with space pirates, and pirates that travel within the world of books.

-Nate pitches a woman who poses as a boy to sail with a pirate crew for adventure and to leave her old life behind.

Direct download: pitch_177.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating Mother's Day by pitching movies about parent/sibling adventures, also in honor of Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn's comedy vehicle, "Snatched." The guys wax over a bevy of topics and attempt to play a game of "Re-Cast It" with the mother/daughter team in "Snatched."

Episode 176 includes:

-More Hellboys and more Deadpools coming your way soon.

-Debate over gender differences in acting awards and where exactly a trans actor would be slotted.

-"King Arthur" isn't even the best movie this year with "King Arthur" in its title. This is a mess of a movie.

-"Risk," the new doc on Julian Assange and Wikileaks, isn't worth much of the effort.

-Stay tuned for an extensive discussion over 1996's "Showgirls" and Ben learns that Paul Verhoeven directed it for the first time in his life.

-This Week's Pitch --Parent/Sibling Buddy Films!

-Nate pitches an absent father who comes back into his adult son's life to reveal a horrible secret that will help the son have a baby.

-Ben pitches an ailing hitman father who kidnaps his adult child to spend time with him while on the run, a secret agent who has to bring his baby on missions, and a crazy series of family games to determine the heir of a corporation.

-This Week's Game Re-Cast It!

-Ben and Nate almost go through with recasting "Snatched" in different decades but then give up.

Direct download: pitch_176.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46pm EDT
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With no new movies to chat about, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking back once again at failed TV pilots and wondering "what if" scenarios. The guys tackle three failed pilots from the 1970s, one of them weirdly entertaining, and then play another round of their newest and possibly stupidest game, So Shalit Be.

Available on iTunes.

-Episode 175 includes:

-"Black Bart" is a sequel to "Blazing Saddles" that was made for four years in secret just to meet a contract loophole.

-"Baffled!" is the famous pilot where Leonard Nimoy is a race car driver who gets psychic visions. How did they make this boring?

-"Starstruck" is a 1979 "Star Wars" ripoff/strange sitcom/family drama about a hotel and restaurant... IN... SPAAAACE. It's oddly compelling. See it for yourself on YouTube.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys pull random movie titles and attempt to come up with pun-heavy blurbs for them from the fabled mind of film critic and pun lover, Gene Shalit.

Direct download: pitch_175.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording after dark and hot off the presses after coming from a screening of "Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2," so they're a little tired and punchy, which makes for a slightly loopier podcast. The guys pitch montser-as-metaphor ideas after Anne Hathaway's "colossal," and then they call it a night.

Available on iTunes

Episode 174 includes:

-Director Jonathan Demme joins all those lambs.

-Ben loves "Guardians 2" and declares it better than the first, and Nate enjoys it thusly but prefers the first tune.

-Ben rewatched all the Harry Potter movies and has some new insights and questions.

-"Colossal" is a very different monster movie and even different from the advertising.

-This Week's Pitch -- Monster as Metaphor!

-Ben and Nate take turns pitching movies where monsters double as metaphors for struggling characters and their conflicts.

Direct download: pitch_174.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:28pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are grinding their gears over the eighth film in the never-ending "Fast and the Furious" franchise, and rather than pitch something related to this franchise again, the guys are pitching projects related to "Free Fire." It's stories based around one mistake that spirals out of control. Afterwards, the guys play a game of Re-Cast It to improve "Free Fire" and offer better characters into the same firefight scenario.

Available on iTunes.

-Episode 173 includes:

-Is there a darker undercurrent behind the tomato/tomatoe song?

-Reactions to new trailers for "Thor Ragnarok" and "Star Wars: The Last Jedi." Hint: one of them is positive.

-"Fast 8" is an absurd and ridiculous movie and that's still the best selling point.

-Ben sings the praises of the practical effects horror thriller "The Void."

-The would-be Tarantino knockoff "Free Fire" shoots blanks.

-This Week's Pitch -- One Mistake Goes Wrong!

-Nate pitches a lottery winner who gets his wallet and ticket stolen and the violent calamities that follow to gain control of the ticket.

-Ben pitches a man set off on a killing spree from the wrong breakfast order, and a space ark where one extra person upsets the balance of elements.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-Ben and Nate recast "Free Fire" by slotting in their own gunslingers, you know people with personality, and debate who would be the one to make it out alive.

Direct download: pitch_173_full.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:26pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had planned a "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" edition for surefire disaster "Monster Trucks" and then had to change those plans when the movie actually proved to be okay. In light of that, the guys threw together pitches for family films based upon puns. Yeah, it was a bit of a stretch. The guys also introduce a new game that leaves them giggling like mad, the pun-laden world of Gene Shalit, the podcast's favorite film critic, is put to new use. Happy five years podcasting.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 172 includes:

-The guys debate the appeal of exploring dark places.

-A potential "Purge" TV show should make a killing. Get it? Get it?

-Ben says so long to "The Bye Bye Man" (DON'T THINK IT! DON'T SAY IT!)

-Surprise of 2017: "Monster Trucks" is actually an okay kids film.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pun-Based Children's Films!

-Listen for pitches for "Couch Potato," "Dog-Gone-It," and "A Monkey's Uncle" to know how far the realm of children's entertainment has come.

-This Week's Game -- Gene Shallit-Off!

-The guys randomly draw film titles and have to come up with a prospective blurb from Gene Shalit. Puns!

Direct download: pitch_172.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording after dark once again and it certainly brings out an extra dose of anger in Ben's case about a certain live-action remake of a classic anime. In honor of the Netflix original sci-fi movie "The Discovery" the guys are pitching stories based upon an unusual afterlife scenario.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 171 includes:

-Jordan Peele being courted to direct live-action Akira... run away, Jordan... run away.

-Ben unloads on "Ghost in the Shell" and says it is worse than "Suicide Squad," his worst film of 2016.

-Nate says "The Shack" is the most laborious Ted talk ever.

-Ben couldn't even get through "Why Him?" thanks to James Franco's balls.

-"The Discovery" is the kind of story that Garp would have written.

-This Week's Pitch -- Unusual Afterlife!

-Nate pitches a mystery of people waking up in a white void and trying to figure out where they are and who they are.

-Ben pitches the soul as a database that's found and exploited, the discovery that everyone who dies goes to a Hell, and being reincarnated as aliens across the universe

Direct download: pitch_171.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:27am EDT
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