Dirty Sons of Pitches (what the hell did we just watch?)

Perhaps the most unexpected "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" in the history of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcasting, Disney and director Ava Duvernay's adaptation of the children's "classic" left these guys stunned. This big-budget fantasy epic lacks internal logic, clarity, effective characterization, meaningful plotting, and just about everything you would expect from a successful movie. The guys discuss whether the book may be overrated from its original publishing date of 1961, Ben's shell-shocked state, whether Duvernay was ready for this stage, whether making Oprah a centaur would have been more beneficial, when they lost hope while watching the movie, and whether the universe is really just the ejaculate of some infinite being.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: wrinkle_in_time.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:37pm EDT
Comments[0]

It's finally here. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" survived "Batman vs. Superman" and "Suicide Squad" and have been dreading the upcoming "Justice League" for over a year. They promised to record as soon as they got out of the preview screening and they are true to their word. The guys dissect the movie and its aggressive blandness and wonder if somehow, paradoxically, it's actually worse than the previous installments. Beware plenty of spoilers.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: justice_league.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 8:47pm EDT
Comments[0]

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a break from the avalanche of sexual harassment news plaguing Hollywood by... watching a movie that was recently pulled from release schedule because of its creator's year's of sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior. "I Love You, Daddy" is writer/director/star Louie C.K.'s secret movie he filmed in June 2017, and it was set for a national release until The New York Times published a story with women on record saying Louie had done them wrong. It just so happens screeners were sent out before. The guys discuss Louie's history of bad behavior, his career, and they psychoanalyze the film and come to the conclusion it was a confession of his past misdeeds.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: i_love_you_daddy.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:33am EDT
Comments[0]

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are takin' it to all the jive-ass turkeys out there with a double feature of blaxploitation films, both of which came out in what must have been the magical year of 1975. "Candy Tangerine Man" is about a family man who doubles as a pimp in a car designed for James Bond with amusingly comic villains, and "Welcome Home, Brother Charles" is a tonally discordant movie about an ex-con trying to get back on his feet for work and, oh yeah, he also gets bloody vengeance by strangling people with his prehensile penis. Yeah. Ben and Nate try and make sense of these two ultimately disappointing films and talk blaxploitation and exploitation films in general.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: blaxpolitation.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
Comments[0]

It's a "Dirty Sons of Pitches" rare lost episode. This was recorded back in February 2015 but because of technical issues and missing audio files has been sitting idle ever since on a hard drive. It's now out there for listeners to hopefully enjoy, ignoring the occasional gap in conversation (just imagine it's eavesdropping on a conversation). The audio isn't up to their normal standards as well so please excuse some of the sound quality. Ben and Nate have a truly animated discussion over the third film in the conservative fantasy "Atlas Shrugged" and pick it apart with raw intensity. It's a crazy movie that seems to be beloved by crazy people. Consider this a last gift of 2016 from your pals at the DSOP.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: lost_episode-atlas_shrugged_part_3.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 5:13pm EDT
Comments[0]

The guys are spending Halloween with a monster and a man in drag, and so they discuss two recent films, the new Japanese Godzilla movie and Tyler Perry's return to the character he built an empire with. "Shin Godzilla" is a totally different approach to large-scale disaster movies, and "Boo! A Madea Halloween" is more or less characters riffing from scene to scene. Give it a good listen and Hallalujer everyone.

Direct download: godzillamadea.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 1:09pm EDT
Comments[0]

The guys watch what might be one of the weirdest animated films ever, the 2006 movie "Aachi & Ssipak," a South Korean product that takes place in a dystopian future where people are rewarded for their defecation with an addictive substance. Diaper-wearing gangs, cyborgs, porn stars that look like blow-up dolls, constipation, Prince gangsters, and lots of redundant and nonsensical storytelling follow suit. Ben and Nate try and find the right reference point for this very strange animated movie, and aftewards also talk about recent movies like "Ben Hur," "Kubo and the Two Strings," and "War Dogs" to close out the summer.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: aachi_and_ssipak_uncut.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
Comments[0]

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are walking the walk and sitting down to watch and discuss the notorious 3.5 hour Western that destroyed recently deceased director Michael Chimino's (The Deer Hunter) career, ended United Artists, and shut the door on the autuer director era of the 1970s. Ben and Nate talk about several merits to be found with the movie amidst its excess and bloat. They'll save you two hours and you'll be better for it.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: heavens_gate.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:12pm EDT
Comments[0]

Ben and Nate just saw the new DC comics epic "Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice," and spoiler alert, it is epic in its badness. The guys insisted upon recording immediately after they saw the movie, so here goes an hour of the two "Dirty Sons of Pitches" trying to make sense of the senseless and coming to the startling conclusion that 1997's megabomb "Batman and Robin" was actually a better movie than this new one. Let that fully sink in. Take a tall drink there, Holly Hunter.

WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS IN THIS PODCAST.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: batman_vs_superman_edit.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 1:19am EDT
Comments[0]

If you think you've seen the weirdest movies of all time, unless you've watched the 210 film "Final Flesh," you are living a lie. Ben and Nate check out the experimental, absurdist movie that is composed of four different segments, produced by amatuer porn-for-hire productions, creating a surreal masterwork that truly needs to be seen to be believed. God bless these performers and their sincerity. Nate and Ben talk about the nature of kink, the amatuer erotica industry and niches, and whether or not to farm out your own scripts to these for-hire performers.

Direct download: final_flesh.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 5:47pm EDT
Comments[0]