Dirty Sons of Pitches (commentary)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" haven't delivered a commentary in a while, so they went back to a notorious 1989 horror film best known for its writer.director molesting the teen male lead character. What? Trust us, we talk about this heinous crime a lot while we find ways to make sense of a rather unmemorable horror thriller, which is saying soemthing for killer clowns. Watch a young Sam Rockwell in his film debut. Listen to Ben and Nate bounce around conversation topics including the cultural practices at brises, the requirements of sleeping on Francis Ford Coppola's couch, the fact that every movie literally takes place in space and in 3D, a mom and pop box farm, other famous creepy clowns, and the horrifying original ending to IT in the novel that Victor Salva would enjoy.

Enjoy the listen. Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: clownhouse.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 8:19pm EST
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" haven't provided a full commentary track in almost a year, so to celebrate Easter, they reopened a forgotten not-classic, 1994's "Dinosaur Island," a movie that could have more accurately been titled, "Big Booby Lady Island and Some Dinosaur Puppets."Ben and Nate bounce around a great array of topics as the film is so boring, which means you too need something else to entertain you, and that is this commentary. As always, look up the movie on Netflix streaming and then synch up when cued. Or you could listen freely to the conversation on early breast implants in history,  the changing standards of beauty, the USA TV network's 90s lineup of original programming, soft-core vs. nudie cuties, and the practicality of breeding.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: dinosaur_island.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 11:57pm EST
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" owe the world a commentary, because after some issues with Netflix streaming, they gave up 40 or so minutes into 1995's "Congo," the killer ape action movie that's just as misguided and goofy today as it was back when it was released. Some of the gents even remember seeing the movie in the theater and reading the original Michael Crichton novel. It was a different time in the mid 90s, one you'll discover if you decide to watch "Congo" on Netflix streaming and then sync up your audio to the commentary. Either way, enjoy the fabulous waste of tax dollars giving an ape the ability to sign. So like us!

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: congo.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 12:31pm EST
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" found a subject that will finally appeal to their senses: women being converted into bee-esque killers who murder men through exhaustive sexual activity. The 1973 exploitation film, at one time called "Graveyard Tramps," is actually written by Nicholas Meyer, the man who would later write "Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan" and "Fatal Attraction." So yeah. You can watch the movie via Netflix instant streaming and make sure to synch up your audio. Enjoy the guys discussion over the particulars of Jack-and-Jill style hill-rolling copulation, an Ernest porn parody, coroners with ascots, ignorance of bee biology, and lots of discussion over the 1970s being covered in certain fluids.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: invasion_of_the_bee_girls.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 6:27pm EST
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This one was a hard one for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Ben almost didn't make it out alive. Hopefully their commentarry track for the 1976 horror movie "The Devil's Kiss" a.k.a. "The Caresss of Satan" will spare others. It's an awful movie, sure, but it's also mostly aimless except for wandering zombies and maids who are constantly undressing. You can watch the film via Netflix streaming and listen to the boys' commentary to keep your sanity as they struggle with their own. Other topics broached include a fond look back at the bizarre multiculutral world of the Nickelodeon cartoon, "Doug," whether Pee Wee Herman was simply misunderstood and voicing his displeasure with the movie, and what to do with spoons at an orgy.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: devils_kiss.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 2:52pm EST
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A special treat for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, another commentary track, this time for the 1994 killer-robot vehicle, "Evolver." It's available via Netflix instant streaming. Marvel at the involvement of notable actor William H. Macy as the voice of the homocidal robot, and then also marvel at the 1994 depcition of virtual reality, which was by all purposes the wave of the future.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: evolver.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 12:08am EST
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Now that they've got another ten podcasts in the can, it's time for another "Dirty Sons of Pitches" commentary for a movie you can watch via Netflix instant streaming. It's the lovely story of a band of crazy summer camp kids and their felonious and near-murderous assault on a lowly janitor. Some may say his eventual bloody payback is entirely justifiable, but that's what happens when you live in a realm of moral relativism. Plus you can see younger versions of Jason Alexander and Holly Hunter (if you can find her) before they were stars. Plus a guy from 'Law and Order."

The guys talk about the Glazer family sleeve empire, the academic merits of Peep University, how to find Camp Circle Jerk on a map, the inherent untrustworthiness of canoes, a self-help book for the horribly burned and vengeful, sports coats vs. blades and lasers, how all modern filmmakers have ripped off "The Burning," the possibility of a nipple-motivated killer, and the fact that the Weinstein brothers and Brad Grey are actually responsible for this mediocre genre exercise.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: The_Burning_commentarry.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 3:40pm EST
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As a bonus for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" fans, Ben and Nate recorded a feature-length commentary for the atrocious 1986 teen horror movie, "Dreamaniac." From the curious, stroke-inducing title, to the ridiculous nonchalance of all the teens to witnessing murder, to future porn star Ashlyn Gere as an evil succubus summoned for unexplained reasons, to the nonsensical twist ending, this terrible movie broke us. It's available on Netflix instant streaming and we only advise people to watch this movie while listening to our standardly stream-of-conscious commentary.

We talk about what a feministic 80s horror movie would entail, the nature of dremaing about Eleanor Roosevelt, were-cougars, the practicality of safe sex involving socks, Ritz cracker's involvement, being electrocuted through simple cords, sex with succubi, the danger of wearing briefs, the movie's implicit stance on gun control, and what the hell exactly is a dreamaniac.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: Dreamaniac_commentary.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 6:19pm EST
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