Dirty Sons of Pitches

While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are keeping busy with some writing projects, enjoy a fascinating film showcased on Ben's other podcast he records regularly with his brother George, "Saturday Night Jive," an SNL-related podcast that reviews bad movies starring SNL alums. "Million Dollar Mystery" is a "Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" ripoff that was born as a, for real, real scavenger hunt to the public sponsored by Glad trash bags. It's truly bizarre and Ben and George love it. Give it a listen and you may fall in love too.

Available on iTunes.

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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have scraped all the alien goo they can off the bottom of their shoes to discuss the hot mess that is Sony's "Venom," a Spider-Man villain without Spider-Man in a world possibly unrelated to the MCU. Ben and Nate try and make sense of this senseless movie and while Nate finds the occasional item to enjoy Ben is adamant about the overall terribleness. The guys break down the film, its awful and on-the-nose post-credit scene, Tom Hardy's acting, the number system when it comes to human body secretions, and then in a crossover with Ben's solo podcast "Head Cannon," the guys pitch out the extended cinematic universe for "Venom" across ten different mediums including sequel, prequel, spin-off, cross-over, video game, and porn parody. 

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: venom.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 1:38pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting political with the Age of Trump and the recent Brett Kavanaugh hearings over accusations of his boyhood sexual assaulting. The guys are pitching movies and projects where women fight back against the larger patriarchy, and then after it's another edition of everyone's favorite game. So Shalit Be. Along the way you'll hear all about the horrifying knowledge of what Trump's genitals look like, whether Michael Moore is still relevant and the Trump-to-hitler comparisons are justified, the lasting power of "The Twilight Zone," the horrifying sexy "Handmaid's Tale" Halloween outfit, and the power of baugettes as a visual indicator.

Available on iTunes

Episode 221 includes:

-In other groper news, the Supreme Court might have a sexual assaulting judge soon...

-New James Bond director and possibly a new Bond

-"The House with a Clock in Its Walls" is a fun kids movie from the director of "Hostel." Huh?

-Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 11/9" throws a lot out there and might ultimately be hopeless.

-Ben and Nate rave that "Assassination Nation" is a knockout and one of the best movies of 2018.

-This Week's Pitch -- Women Fight Back!

-Ben pitches a vigilante team fighting the sexual predators and harassers out there, a telekinetic rape revenge film, and the First Lady as a double agent.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys take turns offering blurbs in the form of favorite film critic Gene Shalit for this weeks films reviewed on the show.

Direct download: pitch_221.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:39pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are on the warpath this week thanks to the new big screen return of the 80s action star with Shane Black's "The Predator." The guys are pitching properties related to hunters/hunting and play another rendition of America's favorite game, So Shalit Be. Along the way they discuss the whether a "the" counts as a word, the finer habits of masturbatory disposal, whether the "Peppermint" trailer says what it sounds like it says, whether reformed sex offenders should be in movies, the etiquette of movie going with stupid talky kids, and perhaps the most wild and bizarre account of Gene Shalit's after hours activities yet.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 220 includes:

-Henry Cavil hangs up his tights at Superman.

-Gropes of the Week: Les Moonves and Steven Wilder Striegel.

-"Mandy" is a mess and so is "The Nun," but one is slightly more tolerable for Ben.

-The guys disagree over revenge thriller "Peppermint" and whether the trailer indicates that the candy should be found in a place most uncomfortable.

-Shane Black's "The Predator" is too little of too many things, but hey, it says autism is the next stage in human evolution.

-This Week's Pitch -- Hunting/Hunters!

-Ben pitches a reverse "Most Dangerous Game," a mother/daughter team hunting bad boyfriends, and a nationwide manhunt open to the public orchestrated by a vengeful President Trump.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys recap this week's films they have reviewed in the pun-happy styles of America's favorite TV critic and mustache-owner, Gene Shalit.

Direct download: pitch_220.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking back on the summer movie season with an aim toward correcting several movies that could have used a little help to improve. It's another edition of Fix a Summer Movie. Along the way the guys sweat it out and conclude another summer season of movie watching and podcasting.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 219 includes:

-Asia Argento gets into a #MeToo problem of her own.

-Did you hear that Neil Armstrong is now a commie? The latest on conservative pundit faux controversies.

-It's a medley of meh movies: "Puzzle," "Operation Finale," "The Little Stranger."

-The new "Puppet Master" movie is so bad and insulting to fans that it makes Ben absolutely furious.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fix a Summer Movie!

-The guys make suggestions to better films such as "A Quiet Place," "Deadpool 2," "Hereditary," "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom," "Tag," "The Meg,"  and "The Happytime Murders."

Direct download: pitch_219.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:48pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a retrospective of puppets behaving badly in cinema, starting with the new puppet cop comedy "Happytime Murders" co-starring human Melissa McCarthy. After the guys discuss Peter Jackson's notorious "Meet the Feebles," a movie neither of them have watched since high school that does not age well, and then finally on the 1970s pornographic entry, "Let My Puppets Come," about puppets getting into the action. But is a single one of these films actually good beyond the novelty? 

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: puppets.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 12:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are fresh from their 48 film fest showing (you can watch their film "Christmas Steve" here) and are catching up with the closing of the summer movie season with a big movie about big sharks and a big movie about big representation. The guys pitch shark movies in honor of "The Meg" and play another round of their favorite, and only, game, So Shalit Be. Along the way they'll discuss the unsung praise of Dan Castelenetta, Movie Pass, whether an Oscar category will stifle mainstream films or give them better representation, the near fatal fight over who should play Aretha Franklin in a movie, the merits of plot over atmosphere, and Ben's new podcast, "Head Cannon."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 218 includes:

-The next Academy Awards will be introducing the category of... Best Popular Movie. Discuss.

-Is Paramount letting "Star Trek" die as a current film franchise?

-Ben is bored to death by "Eighth Grade" and intrigued by "Miseducation of Cameron Post," and the guys discuss the defining traits of coming-of-age movies.

-The 90s rom-com is reborn with "Crazy Rich Asians" and thanks to representation feels fresh again.

-"The Meg" is a fun shark movie that gave Nate enough to enjoy and left Ben wanting a little more bite.

-This Week's Pitch -- Sharks!

-Ben pitches an octopus with shark heads for arms, Hitler shark, a vigilante pledging vengeance against sharks, and microscopic sharks injected inside the president!

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys recap the movies they discussed this week but through the lends of pun-happy film critic, Gene Shalit.

Direct download: pitch_218.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:41pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from making another 48 hour film festival entry and can finally talk about a great new movie, Spike Lee's strange-but-true "BlackkKlansman." The guys pitch movies about minority races, race itself, and racial oppression, and then they conclude the episode by playing another game of everyone's favorite pun-laden film critic, So Shalit Be.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 217 includes:

-Come gather ye children to hear the tale, the tale of Movie Pass and foolhardy venture capitalists.

-Ben pimps his new solo podcast, "Head Cannon."

-Who knew Bo Burnham could be so sincere on behalf of eighth grade girls everywhere?

-"BlackkKlansman" is Spike Lee's best movie in decades.

-This Week's Pitch -- Race/Race Relations!

-Nate pitches a "Babel"-like tale of multiple points of view from immigrants, minorities, and people dramatically affected by Trump policies.

-Ben pitches a varied look at a Trayvon Martin-style tragedy, white America trying to flee to Mexico but foiled by a wall, the life of an Asian guy with a goatee who everyone assumes is a kung-fu master, and a vigilante superhero in an urban neighborhood.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys attempt to form Gene Shalit-worthy puns blurbs for each of the movies they talked about on the episode.

Direct download: pitch_217.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:59pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are picking up the pieces in the wake of some stunning news from Disney, namely the firing of writer/director James Gunn from the billion-dollar franchise he helped bring to their door. The guys discuss new Comicon trailers making their debut and briefly pitch where Gunn and his franchise may go next. Along the way there is also discussion over Gene Shalit's bathroom habits, the moon's response to man leaving behind astronaut excrement, the danger of right-wing trolls being rewarded, a fine year for ketchup, how far is too far with satire, French ignorance, and just how reliably wonderful Tom Cruise is when he's going all-out in an action vehicle.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 216 includes:

-James Gunn fired by Disney for tweets he already apologized for and they knew about two movies ago.

-The guys respond to new trailers revealed at Comicon, including "Godzilla: King of the Monsters," "Aquaman," "Shazam!," "Fantastic Beasts 2," and "Battle Angel Alita."

-"Skyscraper" doesn't quite reach its intended heights; "Sorry to Bother You" goes a little too far in its final act"; "Three Identical Strangers" deserves to be seen.

-"Mission: Impossible 6' is the best in the series and a pure adrenaline rush of action glory.

-This Week's Pitch -- What's Next for James Gunn/Guardians of the Galaxy?

-The guys discuss what projects James Gunn might be well suited for and who might be a replacement director for "Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3."

Direct download: pitch_216.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:53pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are once again looking at failed TV pilots of old, this time with all Frankenstein-related pilots. It's another fascinating look at an alternate universe of TV that might have been. Remarkably, most of the shows are actually pretty acceptable and in some cases present promise that would never be fulfilled. Stick around indeed.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 215 includes:

-The 1958 "Tales of Frankenstein" was meant to be an anthology horror series by Hammer.

-Writer/director Roger Avary's "Mr. Stitch" 1995 Sci-Fi Channel pilot has just enough intriguing elements that Ben and Nate openly wish they could write it how it should be.

-Dean Koontz's modern 2004 "Frankenstein" with Parker Posey... could be good but we'll never know (it's probably not).

-Instead, the guys watch Andy Kaufman's 1977 pre-"Taxi" pilot "Stick Around" where he's a robot butler in the future and... and it's kinda great.

Direct download: pitch_215.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:29am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have been beset by bugs, both in real life and at the movies. They're back and in honor of "Ant-Man and the Wasp" the guys are pitching movies related to bugs and insects. Along the way they talk about some very specific masculine fears, the nature of film commerce as a Lovecraftian monster, the surge of social significance the "Purge" movies have undergone, the appeal of mob movies, and whether all actors will be replaced with de-aged versions of themselves in the future.

Available on iTunes

Episode 214 includes:

-R.I.P. Steve Ditko, Harlan Ellison, Ed Schultz

-Is ScarJo in another "-washing" casting controversy?

-Has "The Purge" gotten more political and more relevant in the age of Trump? You bet your ass it has.

-Nate has seen the 0% on RT film "Gotti," and the worst thing, by far, is Pitbull's musical score.

-"Ant-Man and the Wasp" is light-hearted comic fun and about what you'd want from it.

-This Week's Pitch -- Buuuuuuuugs!

-Ben pitches a Poe-styled thriller with a killer villainous worm, and an invading plague of bugs and the soldiers designed to eliminate them.

-Nate pitches robot honey bees taking over and a home invasion thriller where one family must face off against a swarm of highly intelligent bugs.

Direct download: pitch_214_A.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:09pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are holding onto their butts for the newest dinosaur adventure, the mega sequel "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom." The guys pitch Disney sequels to recent films in honor of their newest Pixar release, the long-awaited "Incredibles 2." The guys chat about the Mt. Rushmore of celebrity gropers, the appeal of the "Maury Povich" talk show, the virtue of not wearing pants, a Disney conspiracy to get "A Wrinkle in Time' over the $100 million mark, what makes a good sequel, and an important announcement at the end of the show how things will never be the same for the podcast going forward.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 213 includes:

-Groper of the Week: Nerd magnate and host of everything on AMC, Chris Hardwicke.

-The end of an era: Jerry Springer going off TV after 30 years of chair hurling action.

-"Incredibles 2" isn't up to the standard of the original, but it's still plenty great.

-Jeremy Renner actually steals the show in "Tag," and marvel at his lifelike CGI arms.

-Ben gushes about his favorite movie of 2018: "The Jurassic Games." It's "The Hunger Games" with dinosaurs!

-The new "Jurassic World" is pretty dumb.

-This Week's Pitch -- Modern Disney Sequels!

-The guys pitch sequels on the spot to "Frozen," "Moana," "Zootopia," "Inside Out," and, "Brave," among others.

Direct download: pitch_213.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:40pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are scratching their heads over the buzz-worthy indie horror film "Hereditary" and trying to make sense of the movie and what critics are raving about. In honor of that film, this week they're pitching stories about family tragedies. Along the way they also talk about a variety of topics such as racist mascots, a 1980 movie with black face, sexual side effects of Ambien, a Supreme Court filled with child justices, a "Bad Boys 11" spinoff 15 years later, Ben's ability to be manipulated by his own writing, James Franco purposely playing a sexual predator, and Ben's edict on how certain people are "liking movies wrong."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 212 includes:

-Roseanne might go into porn... now scrub your brain. Also, a trip down memory lane of Skinemax and the virtues of soft core eroticism.

-What are the lessons and effects of "Solo" for Kathleen Kennedy and the "Star Wars" franchise?

-Go see "Upgrade," a fun genre movie, while able.

-"The Strangers: Prey at Night" is apparently a lot dumber than you would even believe.

-"Hereditary" is a horror movie for people that like movies wrong, says Ben.

-This Week's Pitch -- Family Tragedies!

-Ben pitches a woman raised by cannibal parents trying to start her own life, two brothers running a haunted graveyard, and a makeshift team hunting sexual predators from their youth.

-Nate pitches a younger German generation trying to square their idea of their parents going along with the Holocaust.

Direct download: pitch_212.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking their cues from the latest "Star Wars" movie and looking for characters deserving of spinoff prequels. The guys chat about whether Bryan Fuller deserves another TV series to abandon, lawsuits with crude puppets, Morgan Freeman possibly being the next Groper of the Week, Zack Snyder as a Randian, and what makes a good "Star Wars" movie.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 211 includes:

-Talking dog flick "Show Dogs" grooming children for sexual predators? Wait, what now?

-The new "Roseanne" is cancelled because... of Roseanne being Roseanne.

-"Geo Storm" and "Hurricane Heist" are not bad enough to be enjoyable and not good enough to be good.

-Clint Eastwood's "15:17 to Paris" is a boring ride.

-Ben surprisingly loves "Solo" and calls it the best "Star Wars" film since 1983. Nate finds it so-so.

-This Week's Pitch -- Prequel Spinoffs!

-Ben pitches vehicles for Khan, Doc Brown, Power Rangers, Ron Perlman's "Pacific Rim" character, the Vega brothers, the original Joker, and the best little cantina on Tattooine.

Direct download: pitch_211.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:01pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are squeezing time between writing assignments and have a mother of a show to deliver for their listeners. They've got "Deadpool 2" to dissect, a trio of Mother's Day movies ("Tully," "Life of the Party," "Breaking In") and wrap it all up with another edition of everyone's favorite pun-heavy game that goes off the deep end, So Shalit Be.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 210 includes:

-R.I.P. "Superman" actress Margot Kidder, and R.I.P. out good taste when it comes to these things.

-TV cancellations (farewell Alex Inc.) and a surprise 70-episode renewal for "Rick and Morty."

-"Tully" shows motherhood as incarceration, and it's a strong, observant character piece for Charlize Theron.

-"Deadpool 2" is more of the same, which is fine.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys imitate their favorite pun-heavy TV critic Gene Shalit and conjure blurbs he would provide for a batch of randomly selected movie titles.

Direct download: pitch_210.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:43pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are welcoming back Alex Knerem, super fan of geek culture, for this all-out geeky podcast about the ten-years-in-the-making cinematic event, Marvel's "Avengers: Infinity Wars." There a lot to unpack and there will be spoilers after 24:00 minutes in, so beware. In honor of this major event, the guys, with Alex's help, are pitching what's to come in the larger MCU and the many movies yet to come, including the inclusion of the Fox properties, the X-Men and Fantastic Four. Prepared for the overload on geek culture with this episode, folks.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 209 includes:

-Bill Cosby is going away for a long, long time and a place with lots of Jello.

-Anyone else underwhelmed by the latest "Venom" trailer? Anyone?

-"Super Troopers 2" is a decent comedy for fans of the original though not much for anyone else.

-The guys go deep into "Infinity War" with SPOILERS and try and chart all of the major developments.

-This Week's Pitch -- Phase 4 of the MCU!

-Alex pitches the inclusion of a new lineup of X-Men and their focus on social issues.

-Ben pitches a life after "Infinity War" and how to bring in the Fantastic Four and X-Men.

Direct download: pitch_209.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:07pm EDT
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While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are wrapping up and revising another writing project for a producer, give a listen to Ben's other podcast he records regularly with his brother George -- "Saturday Night Jive." In honor of Ben Affleck's five-timers club hosting Saturday Night Live, the guys watch the notorious bomb from 2003, "Gigli." It's just as bad as you've heard and maybe worse, accompanied by a tonally awful piano score. Come for the embarrassing monologues about J.Lo's vagina, stay for the anaysis of every wrong-headed decision in this flick.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: snj_gigli.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 2:32pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and extra restful from the time off. There's a lot of news items to cover and several good to great movies as well, making this a bountiful and thankful podcast. The guys record after dark and get a little punchy, a little more absurd, and a little more provocative. If you've ever wondered more about the difference between Allison Mack and Alex Mack and the usefulness of turning into a puddle of liquid metal, then your day has come.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 208 includes:

-Groomers of the Week: Channel Awesome, Allison Mack, and Jon K.

-Stan Lee's blood stolen, which leads to a bizarre KISS anecdote that Ben thinks is the most amazingly metal thing ever.

-R.I.P. Isao Takahata, Milos Forman, Art Bell.

-John Krasinski's horror hit "A Quiet Place" is a simple idea brilliantly executed.

-The sex comedy "Blockers" is charmingly progressive and quite funny.

-"Rampage" is a big, dumb monster movie that works well at being a big, dumb monster movie.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

Direct download: pitch_208.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are wrapping up another writing project so in the meantime give a listen to Ben and George's podcast, "Saturday Night Jive" where they perform deep dives analyzing interesting and or horrible movies starring SNL alums. The Tim Allen family vehicle "The Santa Clause" is a lot stranger and horrifying than you may recall. George and Ben discuss the mechanics, implications, and the Disney Snow Paws series to boot.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: snj_santa_clause.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 9:24pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording late having just gotten out of a "Ready Player One" screening, and in honor of Steven Spielberg's sci-fi time machine, the guys pitch VR properties, soemthing they amazingly haven't done over the course of 206 other episodes. Along the way they chat about film award eligibility, the Real Dolls, what "gourds must predominate" means, the strange discrepancy between the "Sherlock Gnomes" trailer and its final product, whether we look to theme park rides for our vital historical truths, and why editing the podcast is better for the listeners.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 207 includes:

-I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want... a Spice Girls cartoon series twenty years too late.

-Indiana Jones 5 in 2020.... yay? Will he be in an urn?

-Steven Soderbergh's movie shot on an iPhone is a cruddy looking movie that looks like it was shot on an iPhone.

-The guys saw "Sherlock Gnomes," were flummoxed by the trailer scenes never appearing, and LITERALLY had someone who worked on the movie contact them to answer their theory. A DSOP exclusive!

-"Ready Player One" is first-class spectacle and little else.

-This Week's Pitch -- Virtual Reality!

-Ben pitches a widow bringing his family back to life via VR, a CSI team to recreate final memories of victims in VR, and a man who can download skills to his brain who is being hunted by the government.

-Nate pitches a VR simulator where you can plug in communication and data from an ex and still have them appear via special glasses. 

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_207.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:45pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting their big screen button-mashing on with the newest incarnation of a movie "Tomb Raider," which inspires this weeks pitch, treasure and treasure-hunting stories. The guys also play another game of their ongoing favorite, So Shalit Be, impersonating beloved, pun enthusiast film critic Gene Shalit.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 206 includes:

-Ava DuVernay gets a new big-budget directing job.... with the DCU... which wants to bury itself even further.

-R.I.P. Stephen Hawking, brilliant scientist and the unknowing bringer of doom for the rest of mankind.

-Anton Yelchin's last film, "Thoroughbreds," is a strongly acted, tense indie thriller worth seeing.

-Take in the madness that is a feature-length game of The Floor is Lava thanks to low-budget Canadian horror flick, "The Bed of the Dead."

-The new "Tomb Raider" is perhaps the best video game adaptation at the movies yet even if Alicia Vikander is no Angelina Jolie in the short shorts dept.

-This Week's Pitch -- Treasure Hunting!

-Nate pitches a scheme where teams must hunt inside the dying body of a wealthy magnate who hid his fortune inside his body.

-Ben pitches kids hijacking a family cruise to hunt for pirate treasure, alien treasure hunt, mob treasure hunt, and parallel world heist crews.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-the guys take the movies they watched this week and produce Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for each, descending into absurdity.

Direct download: pitch_206.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:06pm EDT
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Perhaps the most unexpected "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" in the history of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcasting, Disney and director Ava Duvernay's adaptation of the children's "classic" left these guys stunned. This big-budget fantasy epic lacks internal logic, clarity, effective characterization, meaningful plotting, and just about everything you would expect from a successful movie. The guys discuss whether the book may be overrated from its original publishing date of 1961, Ben's shell-shocked state, whether Duvernay was ready for this stage, whether making Oprah a centaur would have been more beneficial, when they lost hope while watching the movie, and whether the universe is really just the ejaculate of some infinite being.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: wrinkle_in_time.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:37pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are sprucing up for the big night at the Oscars and making their predictions and then tying in an awards-season edition of their favorite game, So Shalit Be. The guys also chat about whether anyone has ever played the game Mouse Trap, the ubiquitous of Eric Roberts, whether a "9 to 5" remake can work in this new post-Me Too era, Shakespeare's inspiration for Othello, the missed opportunity of a modern "Death Wish," the glory of "Game Night," and mansplaining how Gal Gadot should pronounce her own name.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 205 includes:

-Kevin Smith almost died and Joss Whedon is bowing out of Batgirl

-Did somebody make "The Shape of Water" earlier, but with a dolphin and a deaf woman?

-Gropers of the Week: Ryan Seacrest, Alex Jones.

-Ben rails against the live-action "Full Metal Alchemist" and the sci-fi thriller "Annihilation."

-"Red Sparrow" doesn't have the conviction to own its sundry genre elements, even with the naked J-Law.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-Bonus Discussion: Oscar Predictions!

-The guys make their predictions for most of the categories for Hollywood's big night.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys play the pun-happy, Gene Shalit-friendly game, this time coming up with Shalit critical blurbs for all 9 of the Best Picture nominees. 

Direct download: pitch_205.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:38pm EDT
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While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are juggling writing recent projects, enjoy listening to Ben's other podcast, "Saturday Night Jive," where he discusses SNL-related movies with his brother, George. This episode is infamous for having the most unexpected of twists: Ben and George find themselves genuinely liking Adam Sandler's notoriously awful 2011 film, "Jack and Jill." Even they are surprised. Maybe you too will think differently after listening to their soul-searching and film analysis. Or maybe you will be driven insane.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: SNJ_-_Jack_and_Jill.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 11:57pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating Marvel's "Black Panther" blockbuster by pitching black super hero stories. The guys wrap up the episode playing another game of So Shalit Be, especially after discussing Gene Shalit and his potential departure from TV earlier. Along the way the guys discuss not going full-Shalit, what it takes to get a "mulligan" from the religious right, the influx of the F-word on cable TV, the question of why the female nipple is much more offensive than male nipples, whether "Black Panther" is more or less feminist than "Wonder Woman," the fallacy of the supposed Marvel villain problem, Wakanda not getting off easy for ignoring the slavery of its neighbors, and the blaxploitation possibilities of a were-spider-cop.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 204 includes:

-Want to hear about the dumbest controversy possibly ever thanks to irate parents and the movie "Peter Rabbit"?

-Gropers of the week: Shaun White and Scott Baio, which raises the question of whether Scott Baio is still even worthy of press coverage.

-The new Aardman "Early Man" is an unexpected sports film with cavemen.

-"Black Panther" is an enjoyable super hero movie unafraid of its blackness.

-This Week's Pitch -- Black Super Heroes!

-Ben pitches an alien species that seeded the planet in their black image, an inner city girl who is the goddess of bullets, and an X-Men-style story about slaves who develop mutant powers and revolt.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys randomly draw movie titles and try and deliver blurbs in the vein of famed movie critic and pun-lover Gene Shalit.

Direct download: pitch_204.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:10pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have been inundated by J.J. Abram's secretive sci-fi monster series, "Cloverfield," and are looking at the newest film that debuted on Netflix after the Super Bowl. The guys are also pitching movies that could appear within the Cloverfield universe and then playing a new game wherein they try and turn ordinary movies into new Cloverfield property tie-ins. Along the way the guys discuss talk about misinterpreting the "Truth About Cats and Dogs," Christopher McQuarrie's wicked laugh at Henry Cavill's mustache, whether Bryan Fuller will have a career anymore, who is sexier or the better actress: Dakota Johnson or Charisma Carpenter, hummingbird phalluses, the object permanence of masturbation, and what Elizabeth Perkins would do with a thirteen-year-old in a kaiju-sized Tom Hanks.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 203 includes:

-Uma Thurman comes clean on her conflicts with Harvey Weinstein and Quentin Tarantino.

-The team behind "Game of Thrones" is tapped to write and produce new "Star Wars" films, which means finally we get Luke and Leia together.

-"Fifty Shades Freed" is another bad, unsexy movie in a bad, unsexy trilogy of bad, unsexy movies.

-Ben says the Christian-oriented animated film "The Star" is sacrilegious and he's an atheist.

-The sudden "Cloverfield Paradox" might be the worst Cloverfield movie and with the least Cloverfield in it.

-This Week's Pitch -- Cloverfield Universe Movies!

-Ben pitches different movies that could be told within the larger Cloverfield cinematic universe.

-This Week's Game -- Cloverfield It!

-The guys randomly select movie titles and try and adapt them into Cloverfield movies, much like producers have been doing for years with unrelated scripts.

Direct download: pitch_203.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have returned from another writing project and celebrating their elders. In honor of "Mom and Dad" the guys are pitching movies related to parental relationships. The guys discuss a new breakthrough in porn, whether "Call Me By Your Name" and "Duke Kukem" need sequels, the amazing first movie to play in Saudi Arabia in 35 years, the unsung excellence of Hong Chau, the history of National Lampoon and where their film brand went, and spending eternity with your in-laws and extended family

Available on iTunes.

Episode 202 includes:

-Ben introduces the newest stupefying breakthrough in pornography that will terrify actresses for ages.

-Aziz Ansari is not the same as Harvey Weinstein. Repeat.

-Oscar nominations have been released and hooray for weird movies getting some recognition. The guys run through the major categories and surprises and snubs.

-"Phantom Thread" is a return to form enough for PTA.

-Ben and Nate have wildly different opinions on the wild new movie, "Mom and Dad."

-This Week's Pitch -- Parents!

-Nate pitches Satanic parents waiting for their child to reach a certain age before sacrificing.

-Ben pitches sequels to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" and "Little Nicky", alien step-parents, zombie grandparents, a ghostly possessed mother-in-law, and a revenge sequel to "The Joy Luck Club."

Direct download: pitch_202.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:13pm EDT
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While Ben and Nate finish a writing project, please enjoy another edition of "Saturday Night Jive" the podcast where Ben and his brother George discuss in depth the hilarious bad and bizarre films of SNL alums. The 2000 movie "Duets" is about the exciting world of competitive karaoke starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Paul Giamatti, and Huey Lewis, and it's insane. This was a favorite listen of ours so please give it one yourself.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: snj-duets.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 4:36pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are coming at you from their resident "shithole" to bring you some podcasting goodness. In honor of the new Liam Neeson thriller "The Commuter" the guys are pitching concepts following the same formula of Neeson getting in trouble on different modes of transport. Along the way the guys discuss the teaching pedagogy of James Franco, whether to fight one TV star unqualified candidate with another TV star unqualified candidate, and the almost certainty of how tiny and gross the president's penis must look like for him to behave the way he does.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 201 includes:

-New gropers of the week: Stan Lee and James Franco. Did anyone audit Franco's "classes" before?

-Is President Oprah Winfrey really a possibility? No.

-The guys discuss a new Columbus film "After" that will be making the festival circuit in 2018.

-"The Commuter" is a dumb action movie but it drove Nate mad.

-This Week's Pitch -- Liam Neeson in a Place!

-The guys follow the trend and pitch concept of Neeson running into trouble on different modes of transportation and in confined spaces.

Direct download: pitch_201.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:46pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back for the first time in 2018. There aren't many new releases at this time of year so the guys are catching up on some older 2017 films, mostly animated in Ben's case, and their pitch this week is in honor of Aaron Sorkin's true-life Poker drama, "Molly's Game." The guys pitch stories about gambling. Along the way Ben finds even more to dislike about "The Last Jedi," they discuss the Hulu equal of "Netflix and chill," the culpability of art inspired by bad deeds, and a movie called "Deadly Crossbow Roulette."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 200 includes:

-More gropers of the week: Paul Haggis, Ben Vereen, and Max Landis.

-A Slenderman horror movie is coming, but is this dangerous considering the real-life Slenderman killing?

-Ben zips through many 2017 animated films he's caught up with including "Leap!" and

-"The Greatest Showman" is a sanitized version of P.T. Barnum's life fit for Disney.

-Nate loves "Molly's Game" while Ben finds it all a bit too much Sorkin-y.

-This Week's Pitch -- Gambling Movies!

-Ben pitches a two-hander play about a Texas Hold 'Em game, a heist on a casino planet, a lucky rabbit's foot with unusual consequences, and a future lottery tied into cannibalism.

Direct download: pitch_200.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are inviting their two top guests of the show, Eric and George, to share their own lists of the best and worst films of 2017, as well as those hat were underrated, overrated, and some of the finest performances of the year. Along the way, Nate and Ben share some changes to their Worst lists, now including "The Bye Bye Man" and potentially the really bad "Flatliners" remake. The gang also discuss the indie darling "Call Me By Your Name" and some problematic elements, and ring out the New Year with Gene Shalit blurbs for some of 2017's best and worst films. 

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_199.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:15am EDT
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