Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking stock of the year in film and sizing up their favorite and least favorite films of 2017. The guys share their lists, with many in common, and discuss the year in film as a whole, as well as recently seen films like "All the Money in the World," "Bright," and The Rock's "Jumanji" sequel. The guys discuss plenty of other topics such as a horror-laden "Emoji Movie" sequel, Ben's penchant for a certain specific analogy for subversion, Kevin Smith's hostage video, Ben's desire to sleep with a "Family Feud" host and the guys strange memory of all of those hosts, and why a "fine" movie should no longer be acceptable. Happy New Year, everyone!

Available on iTunes.

Episode 198 includes:

-More "Last Jedi" fallout and sniping fanboys.

-More gropers: Bryan Singer, Dustin Hoffman, T.J. Miller, Gene Simmons, Tavis Smiley.

-Ben loves the Netflix fantasy "Bright" but Nate thinks it's a solid premise that doesn't really go anywhere.

-"Jumanji" is a fun adventure that will also not tarnish your memories of the first film.

-Nate and Ben reveal their Top Ten Best and Worst Films of 2017, overrated and underrated films, and the best performances of the year.

Direct download: pitch_198.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:31pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" tried in vain to do a Director's Cut for Rian Johnson and then just said, screw it, and talked all about the new Star Wars. Ben and Nate have wildly different opinions on the eighth Star Wars film and go into plenty of detail and spittle. Warning, there will be massive spoilers discussed. Grab your porg and enjoy Ben and Nate's take on The Last Jedi.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_197.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:26pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back, baby, and they are running through a dozen movies to talk about from holiday fare to end-of-the-year awards contenders. There's big change in the entertainment industry with the seismic news of Disney purchasing 20th Century Fox, and the guys discuss the major implications. In honor of "I, Tonya," the guys pitch movies about scandals. In the meantime, enjoy the conversations about van purposes, what it takes to worry Paul Ryan, Bond villain desk settings, and what a Tarantino Star Trek would be like.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 196 includes:

-Disney buys Fox in the business deal of the year. Is having a big fish get bigger a good thing?

-More gropers of the week: Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, John Lasseter, Garrison Keiler, Mario Batali, more politicians, and it's hard to keep up.

-"The Disaster Artist" is a fun movie for fans of "The Room," "Coco" will make you cry, "The Shape of Water" will make you feel strange things in strange places.

-You can skip "Wonder Wheel," "Roman J. Israel, Esq.," and "The Post." However, do see "Downsizing" for the acting power alone of the incredible Hong Chau.

-"I, Tonya" is a Scorsese film filled with Coen brothers characters.

-This Week's Pitch -- Scandals!

-Nate pitches a character study on Linda Tripp, the woman who recorded her friend Monica Lewinsky's confession.

-Ben pitches the stories of the guy who got caned in Singapore, the "Press Your Luck" expert, Rachel Dolezar, and the killer home butt injection lady.

Direct download: pitch_196.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are almost done with their writing project, so enjoy one more edition of the "Saturday Night Jive" podcast from brothers Ben and George. This episode features a 1990 Jim Belushi fantasy film where Michael Caine shows him an alternative version of his life brought about from what seems like the most trifling of crossroads. George and Ben unpack the knotty plot, its many absurd implications, and why this selfish dolt is supposed to be the hero.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: snj_mrdestiny.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 6:11pm EDT
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While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are on a brief hiatus for a writing project, enjoy another special presentation of Ben and George's regular SNL-themed podcast, "Saturday Night Jive," where they dissect bad and bizarre movies starring SNL alums. The gents tackle 2006's "Little Man" where a tiny Marlon Wayans poses as a baby for a jewel heist. This is one truly gross and disturbing movie, and thankfully Ben and George are there to break it down for the rest of us.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: snj_little_man.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 12:07pm EDT
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While the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are occupied with a writing project, they're giving the spotlight over to Ben's other podcast he records regularly with regular special guest George. "Saturday Night Jive" is where the guys watch a usually terrible movie featuring an SNL-alum and dissect it thoroughly to hilarious results. With 1987's bizarre double Malkovich misguided rom-com "Making Mr. Right," that extends into questioning why anyone would give a robot foreskin. Also starring soon-to-be Oscar nominee Laurie Metcalf. This is a movie that needs to be heard to be believed.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: making_mr_right.mp3
Category:Saturday Night Jive -- posted at: 4:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are thankful for the riches at the movie theater, though not thankful enough for the bounty of mediocrity that is the DCU. Ben unloads an EPIC 35-minute pitch rebooting the entire cinematic universe, establishing nine movies and offshoot stories, and lots of casting choices. Watch, WB and DC, how it can be done right. It's gotta be better than "Justice League." 

Available in iTunes.

Episode 195 includes:

-Disney is attempting to purchase 20th Century Fox and likely the world at large.

-New gropers of the week: Franken, Piven, Hoffman, Tambor, Stallone, Kreisberg, and so so many more.

-Ben shrugs at the slice-of-life meandering plot of Greta Gerwig's coming-of-age indie, "Lady Bird."

-"Three Billboards" is a searing, insightful, and exceptionally written and acted movie.

-This Week's Pitch -- Reboot the DCU!

-Ben unleashes a 35-minute pitch for the ages detailing the plots of over nine movies to do justice for the members of the Justice League.

Direct download: pitch_195.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:49am EDT
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It's finally here. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" survived "Batman vs. Superman" and "Suicide Squad" and have been dreading the upcoming "Justice League" for over a year. They promised to record as soon as they got out of the preview screening and they are true to their word. The guys dissect the movie and its aggressive blandness and wonder if somehow, paradoxically, it's actually worse than the previous installments. Beware plenty of spoilers.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: justice_league.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 8:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a break from the avalanche of sexual harassment news plaguing Hollywood by... watching a movie that was recently pulled from release schedule because of its creator's year's of sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior. "I Love You, Daddy" is writer/director/star Louie C.K.'s secret movie he filmed in June 2017, and it was set for a national release until The New York Times published a story with women on record saying Louie had done them wrong. It just so happens screeners were sent out before. The guys discuss Louie's history of bad behavior, his career, and they psychoanalyze the film and come to the conclusion it was a confession of his past misdeeds.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: i_love_you_daddy.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:33am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are thinking of changing their names since the news is a non-stop barrage of bad men finally having their bad deeds coming to the light of day. The guys have many more names to go through, including big names like Kevin Spacey, Brett Ratner, Bryan Singer, and one of the former presidents. In lighter news, they discuss awful new movies like "Goodbye Christopher Robin" and "Suburbicon" before sharing the greatness that is "Killing of a Sacred Deer" and the latest Marvel film, "Thor: Ragnarok." Listen and find out exactly what the Masturbaty is.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 194:

-Another week, another wave of sexual abuse allegations: Ratner, Spacey, Singer, Halperin, Toback, and more!

-Is Tyrese Gibson actively trying to ruin his career?

-"Goodbye Christopher Robin" is a self-parody of feel-good author biopics that is a clumsy mess. It angered Ben so much he left the theater.

-The director of "The Lobster" makes you feel weird and uncomfortable all over again with the brilliant "Killing of a Sacred Deer."

-The third "Thor" movie is the best and a total blast.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

Direct download: pitch_194.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:19pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a little tired this go-round because they spent the last week seeing nonstop movies in the evenings for your listening pleasure. The guys talk about the awful and hard to follow "Snowman" and pitch far-fetched serial killer ideas. They also close out by playing another game of So Shalit Be, to honor podcast favorite, critic Gene Shalit. Along the way the guys chat about more revelations from the Weinstein fallout, why Mark Felt's story is really boring, the oft-putting sexualization of teenagers in a Tyler Perry movie, the potential dirty puns afforded with a hero named Harry Hole, why sometimes legs are the best option for robots, and something the Columbus filmmaking community has been looking forward to for ages, the screening of zombie comedy "Bong of the Living Dead."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 193 includes:

-More Weinstein news: Academy out, Woody Allen to the rescue, Tarantino and Kevin Smith respond, and more.

-Ben's love for Madea betrays him as "Boo 2" is everything awful that people accuse Tyler Perry's movies of being.

-"The Snowman" is such a bad thriller that they didn't even get to film 15% of the script, and this is according to the director himself.

-The guys discuss the highly awaited premiere of the local zombie stoner comedy "Bong of the Living Dead."

-This Week's Pitch -- Serial Killers!

-Nate pitches a killer fan of Madea at a Tyler Perry convention and people who murder others who say "Happy Holidays."

-Ben pitches a different kind of Zodiac killer, holiday killer, and a vengeful Richard Gere.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and come up with pun-heavy blurbs for "Fight Club," "Reign Over Me," "Eating Raoul," and, "Easy A."

Direct download: pitch_193.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking cues from the film "The Mountain Between Us" and looking at survival stories, including real-life horror show Harvey Weinstein and the ongoing revelations of his history of harassment and abuse. Another week and another raft of news related to the ongoing Weinstein scandal and cover-up hitting Hollywood. The guys also discuss the nature of adapting books and fidelity to the source material, the nature of fan entitlement, Ben's bizarre dream that includes character arcs, cutting off your own arms to form a ladder, the Olestra chips that gave you the runs, and what the level of forgiveness is for Hollywood's offenders and whether it's talent-based.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 192 includes:

-Weinstein update: new accusations, new curious defenders, new gropers, new pained reactions, new revelations. The guys dive into what all of it means.

-McDonald's ran a promotion that angered "Rick and Morty" fans. Ben and Nate take opposing sides.

-Nate has seen "Girls Trip." And...

-Ben says Netflix's "The Babysitter" is a fun horror comedy that needed a better director than McG.

-"The Mountain Between Us" is a survival story without stakes and a romance without chemistry or good characters. But it does have a dog.

-This Week's Pitch -- Survival Tales!

-Ben pitches a man stuck in a bear trap, a couple trapped in a teetering car, a vision quest gone wrong, and an active volcano with killer robots.

-Nate pitches a stranded astronaut drifting in space and reflecting on his or her inevitable death.

Direct download: pitch_192.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:19am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking into the future through the power of the 1980s with "Blade Runner 2049," a sequel 35 years in the making. Ben and Nate try their hand pitching long-in-the-works sequels to 80s movies starring original cast members, and they play another game of So Shalit Be to close out the episode. Once again there's much to talk about in Hollywood and the guys hit a number of topics, including a new addition to Ben's riches-equal-pedophilia threshold theory, how the Queen may or may not go to the bathroom, "Back to the Future" as personal therapy, and the question of how often they'll be revealing sexual harassers in Hollywood.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 191 includes:

-Super producer Harvey Weinstein and Screen Junkies' founder Andy Signore become the latest creeps to be given the spotlight of shame.

-Even Tyrese recognizes people only love The Rock and Statham in "Fast and Furious" franchise.

-Ben is confounded by "Girls Trip" and teaches Nate all about "grape fruiting."

-"Blade Runner 2049" > "Blade Runner"

-This Week's Pitch -- Late Sequels to 80s Films (plus maybe set in 2049)!

-The guys pitch late sequels to 80s movies like "the Karate Kid," "War Games," and "The Goonies."

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and conjure Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for the films "Bruce Almighty, "Frankenweenie," and, "Glen Gary Glen Ross."

Direct download: pitch_191.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are drawing a line down the middle when it comes to a battle of gender, pitting men and women against one another in this week's pitches in honor of the new film "The Battle of the Sexes." The guys also chat about the first new episodes of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as other topics such as the horror of Roland Emmerich's "Ghost Chase," buying in bulk with limited edition chips, the medical genius of licking things, whether Elton John should have been more explicit in his cameo, and the DCEU being even dumber than we first believed.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 190 includes:

-Harry Knowles, the pervy head of Ain't It Cool News, is revealed to be the latest film creep who can't keep his hands off of women.

-"Kingsman 2" is an unmemorable sequel that proves Matthew Vaughn may be mortal after all.

-Ben watches "Wish Upon" and wishes he hadn't.

-Is the sports drama "Battle of the Sexes" too kind to its resident misogynist?

-This Week's Pitch -- Men vs. Women!

-Nate pitches a long-standing couple that competes to see who can sleep with the most other people, and a resort that allows you to hunt your exes for sport.

-Ben pitches a bisexual "This Means War," a slasher damsel that turns the table, robots that try and get the last man and woman on Earth to mate, and  romance between two rival serial killers.

-Bonus Discussion -- Trek Talk!

-The guys discuss the long-awaited action-packed two-episode premiere of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as Seth MacFarlane's homage to Trek, "The Orville."

Direct download: pitch_190.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:11pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest and "Saturday Night Jive" podcaster George who has devised a special game just for them. He's been eager for weeks to talk about the strange experience that is "The Book of Henry" and has come up with a game to best illustrate the even more strange paths the movie takes. The guys round out the episode with another round of their pun-heavy game So Shalit Be and mourn the loss of Harry Dean Stanton in a typically insufficient way.

Available on iTunes

Episode 189 includes:

-Our long national nightmare is over: J.J. Abrams is returning to direct "Star Wars: Episode 9."

-Nate finds Darren Aronfosky's "mother!" to be an interesting allegory, but knows it will be hated.

-George cites two 2017 movies that stuck with him, "The Circle" for all the wrong reasons and "Wakefield" for all the right reasons.

-This Week's Game I -- And Then...?

-George describes sections of the plot of "The Book of Henry" and asks Ben and Nate to predict what will happen next. they are often wrong as this movie reveals itself to be absurdly wrong-headed.

-This Week's Game II -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys take their turns coming up with Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for the likes of "Room," "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," "Hackers," and more.

Direct download: pitch_189.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:07am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating the latest Stephen King adaptation, the killer clown film breaking all sorts of box-office records, "It." In honor of that movie, the guys are pitching stories about kids against monsters of all types. Stick around for the off-the-cuff conversation tangents like comparing the current "Star Wars" morass to Vietnam, Ben's face blindness with a very specific kind of actor, how a Jabba the Hutt movie could work, the difference between kids who act and kid actors, and a scientific breakdown which role in the human centipede is actually the worst.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 188 includes:

-Colin Treverrow is out at "Star Wars" and Kathleen Kennedy puts another head on her wall. Seriously, what is going on over there?

-Drew Goddard comes in to save the X-Universe right as it appears headed back to dormancy.

-"It Comes at Night" is a victim of misleading marketing and an ending that's just sort of... there. Hint: a plague comes out in daytime too.

-The guys absolutely adore "It" 2017.

-This Week's Pitch -- Kids vs. Monsters!

-Nate pitches an abusive priest who swears his bad deeds are really the demon inside him, so a group of his victims kidnap him and attempt an exorcism.

-Ben pitches killer Jack-O-Lanterns, kids trying to live it up at a murderous summer camp, and ninja kids thrown into a battle they are ill-prepared for.

Direct download: pitch_188.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:56pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are examining phobias and fears for the upcoming clown-centric Stephen King horror movie, "It." They end the episode playing a game of So Shalit Be, where they imitate famed critic Gene Shalit and come up with pun-laden blurbs for upcoming fall movies. Learn much about what Ben thinks about white washing, Michael Fassbender's legacy, whether he could live in the Matrix, where the new "Tomb Raider" movie has gone wrong, and what's really at stake with America.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 187 includes:

-The box-office is at a twenty-year low. How did we get here? Remember Tarsem?

-RIP Tobe Hooper and your crazy horror movies.

-Warner Bros wants Leonardo DiCaprio to play its other Joker. Don't think he's getting out of a supermodel's legs for this one.

-If you like weird whimsy, "Dave Made a Maze" is a DIY delight.

-"Tulip Fever" unleashes a debate over the overall attractiveness of Alicia Vikander and sides are drawn.

-This Week's Pitch -- Phobias!

-Nate pitches a teenager with a phobia of young people who lives in a senior center.

-Ben pitches lots of horror phobia concepts, including a serial killer obsessed with the number 13 and a woman who wakes up on a plane filled with a suicide cult.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and determine what pun-loving film critic Gene Shalit would think of some upcoming movies this fall.

Direct download: pitch_187.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:06pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are doing their best to try and understand what exactly is happening at the Warner Bros offices right now as news item after news item seems to confirm that nobody knows what to do with their DC superhero properties. The guys speculate about the avalanche of prospective news, chat about Joss Whedon's turn of events, the passing of comedy legend Jerry Lewis, and in honor of the live-action "Death Note" film on Netflix, they answer a series of challenging moral questions.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 186 includes:

-Jerry Lewis has died... now when do we get to see "The Day the Clown Cried"?

-WB and DC throw anything at everything at the wall to see what sticks, and Joss Whedon's wife comes forward to argue he is no feminist.

-The new animated Batman and Harley Quinn movie betrays the animated series... and it's got fart jokes too and... rape?

-Nate declares "The Only Living Boy in New York" to be insufferable hipster prattle.

-The Netflix "Death Note" movie is about as disappointing as you knew it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- Moral Quandaries!

-Ben quizzes Nate on a series of challenging questions inspired by the moral quandary at heart with "Death Note." Nate learns just how far he'll go for money.

Direct download: pitch_186.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:20am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are catching up on movies, sharing their 48 film fest short, and talking the world of fans and fandom thanks to the indie comedy, "Birgsby Bear." Nate's under the weather and sounding a bit more like Kathleen turner, so excuse his voice. In the meantime, enjoy another ribald entry from your favorite podcasters.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 185 includes:

-Check out the first dramatic short film from the Edwin J. Hill production group, "The Things We Leave Behind" for the 2017 48 Hour Film Fest.

-Lots of Netflix news. Losing Disney but gaining a Shonda Rhimes.

-So WB execs said "Justice League " was "unwatchable." Let that sink in considering these may be the same people that gave a standing ovation to BvS.

"The Dark Tower" will disappoint fans and not fans.

-"Wind River" is an intriguing, character-driven mystery that then.... just explains everything to you.

-"Brigsby Bear" is a poignant and surprising movie that might be this year's "Swiss Army Man" gem.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fans and Fandom!

-Ben pitches a Misery-style kidnapping, a fan dating his older TV sexual fantasy actress, a conspiracy thriller about a lost TV episode no one is allowed to see, and a series based upon the Star Wars commercial kid.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys pitch a perfect Samuel L. Jackson vehicle in seconds. That's all it takes, folks.

Direct download: pitch_185.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have some updates on their progress on short films and have a couple new movies to talk about, one good and one baffling. The guys are pitching product placement movies in honor of "The Emoji Movie" and basically struggling to make sense of a world of ejaculate spiders, Richard Belzer as cereal pitchman, and Rooney Mara's consumption of baked goods.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 184 includes:

-Learn Ben's top five fears in life and the time he almost invited a prostitute into his car.

-Once again, a bushy mustache brings down a DCU movie.

-NBC appears to be trying to invent a time machine to bring back 2000s TV.

-"Atomic Blonde" is "Suicide Squad" done right.

-If you're looking for a movie that features Rooney Mara eating a pie for ten minutes, your time has finally come.

-This Week's Pitch -- Product Placement Movies!

-Ben and Nate pitch movies around Pez dispensers, the Domino's Noid mascot, the mattress sheep, and an adventure with Coke mascots.

Direct download: pitch_184.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:42pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking stock of the lesser films of the summer and coming up with solutions to their myriad problems in their annual edition of Fix a Summer Movie. It was inspired following a car ride back from "Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets." Get ready for a Porgs-porging good time.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 183 includes:

-Porgs... is a thing... a "Star Wars" thing. Ben is unhappy.

-RIP George Romero, Martin Landau, John Heard, and the eternal question over being a boob or a butt man.

-The guys are underwhelmed by Nolan's "Dunkirk" and find it the least memorable film of his career.

-It should have been called "Valerian and the City of 1000 Better Ideas." Whew boy.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fix a Summer Movie!

-Ben and Nate make suggestions to better "Valerian," "King Arthur," "Baywatch," "Alien: Covenant," "Cars 3," "Transformers: the Last Knight," and "The House."

Direct download: pitch_183.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:40pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and remind you to go see "Spider-Man: Homecoming" and "War of the Planet of the Apes," two of the best films of 2017. There aren't too many new movies to talk about this week so the guys catch up with news items, Ben confesses a personal problem, and they pitch movies dealing with wishes or genies in honor of "Wish Upon," a film neither has seen.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 182 includes:

-Disney's "Aladdin" is having trouble finding its lead, Star Wars Monopoly is having problems keeping its promises, and Ben is having his own problems.

-"The House" is a comedy that can't find its funny.

-Learn where Mike Myer got the inspiration for Austin Powers from in an old movie where people hunt others for sport.

-How in the world is a 1980s movie where Charlotte Rampling has an affair with a chimp this strangely dull? Welcome to "Max, My Love," a failed "What the Hell did We Just Watch?" entry.

-This Week's Pitch -- Wish Pitches!

-Ben pitches a sci-fi horror story about creating matter, a woman who can make anything happen by muttering a phrase enough times, and a man who wishes to be the wealthiest and smartest where everyone else just gets impoverished and dumb.

-Nate pitches a "nice guy" who can wish any girl to fall in love with him, but if he wants to trade his trophy, he has to kill the current one.

Direct download: pitch_182.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have several new movies to talk about, which include two of the best movies of the year and one of the worst. On top of that, there's seismic news on the "Star Wars" front with the ongoing drama lingering from the directors of the Han Solo spinoff being fired.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 181 includes:

-What the hell is going on in the world of the "Star Wars" spinoffs?!

-The new "War for the Planet of the Apes" is a blockbuster with soul and everything missing in big-budget movies.

-The guys review a slew of movies starting with B (Bad Batch, Beatriz at Dinner, Below Her Mouth), and all of them disappointing.

-The fifth "Transformers" movie almost killed Ben.

-"Spider-Man: Homecoming" is the best Spider-Man film and arguably the best MCU film yet.

Direct download: pitch_181.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:15pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking the unexpected role of serving as defenders of the much-derided Tom Cruise action film, "The Mummy." The guys explain why they don't understand all the hate. They then follow that by pitching the rest of the Dark Universe, the latest cinematic universe meant to combine all the classic monsters from Universal's older era. Also, Ben is forcibly capped at five "Wonder Woman" name references.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 180 includes:

-R.I.P. Adam West, the man who saved Batman.

-Terry Gilliam achieves the previously unachieveable and Kevin Smith surprises by being able to keep his mouth shut.

-Does the 2017 "Flatliners" have the worst music choice of any trailer ever? Listen for yourself.

-"Cars 3" is the worst Pixar movie and the laziest.

-Why are the funniest parts of the bachelorette party gone wrong comedy "Rough Night" the parts with ScarJo's fiance?

-Surprise, "The Mummy" is a very enjoyable B-movie and Ben and Nate tackle and counter the biggest charges against this film.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dark Universe!

-Ben and Nate pitch the ongoing Dark Universe films and their monster adventures.

Direct download: pitch_180.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:09pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bringing out the lasso of truth to analyze the big-budget, highly anticipated close-up for Wonder Woman. Ben has a lot to say on the matter and further develops his thesis about the perils of low expectations. The guys talk so much about Wonder Woman that only Ben takes a turn pitching female superhero stories. Stay for conversation on cartoons shooting above the heads of their audience the weird things you might find in vending machines, Yelp reviews for dentists, Ben's stance on all non-Dragon Force music, and the power and detriment of holding onto a hilariously anachronistic article of facial hair.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 179 includes:

-News on the Monster Universe and the Dark Universe a.k.a. the Universal Monster Universe.

-What kind of life awaits the talking toilet in "Beauty and the Beast"?

-Nate and Ben think the French cannibal horror film "Raw" could have been a bit rawer.

-"Wonder Woman" symbolizes everything wrong with moviegoing audiences for Ben, whereas Nate found some enjoyable things. This is a wide-ranging discussion that lasts for a solid half hour. Stay tuned at the end for a discussion over a big, bushy mustache.

-This Week's Pitch -- Female Superheroes!

-Ben shares some of his prior pitches and characters from his complicated comic book universe of ideas.

-This Week's Game -- No Game!

 

Direct download: pitch_179.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:02am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going back in time to the most awesome of decades, the 90s, in honor of the not-so-good remake of the 90s international hit of blondes and boobs, "Baywatch." The guys pitch TV shows from the 90s to be rebooted into movies and take a stroll down memory lane essentially recounting all the various TV shows, known and little known, that they loved.

Available on iTunes

Episode 178 includes:

-RIP Roger Moore, Caitlin Bree, and Zach Snyder's daughter.

-Ben sets the record straight for the "Star Trek" fans upset about the TV show being diverse.

-Ben and Nate differ on "Pirates 5" but agree Johnny Depp isn't even trying anymore.

-"Baywatch" is a movie that doesn't know what it wants to be.

-This Week's Pitch -- 90s TV Reboots!

-Nate pitches reboots for "Lexx," "Walker Texas Ranger," "G vs. E," "Brimstone," and several more.

-Ben pitches reboots for "Beast Wars," "Mummies Alive," "Secret World of Alex Mack," "Clarissa Explains it All," and several more.

Direct download: pitch_178.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:10pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are shivering timbers and yo-ho-ho-ing it up in honor of the next entry in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" franchise from Disney. They also watch like 15+ trailers for the new TV series coming out this summer and fall and offer their initial thoughts, which are not that promising. Come for the movie talk, stay for the conversations over little person twins, Jared Leto's intense Method acting habits, and who cares at all about a TV show about podcasting.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 177 includes:

-What if everyone on Earth had a secret little person twin psychically linked to them? The guys uncover the truth.

-The guys preview a LOT of upcoming new 2017-2018 TV shows and offer their dismal opinions.

-Ben at long last has seen "The Boss Baby"!

-"Snatched" marks the return of Goldie Hawn who, having seen her shadow, will retreat back to her hole for another 15 years.

-Nate says "Alien: Covenant" is more of the same but there is double the Fassbender.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pirates!

-Ben pitches parallel reality pirates, an alien invasion with space pirates, and pirates that travel within the world of books.

-Nate pitches a woman who poses as a boy to sail with a pirate crew for adventure and to leave her old life behind.

Direct download: pitch_177.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating Mother's Day by pitching movies about parent/sibling adventures, also in honor of Amy Schumer/Goldie Hawn's comedy vehicle, "Snatched." The guys wax over a bevy of topics and attempt to play a game of "Re-Cast It" with the mother/daughter team in "Snatched."

Episode 176 includes:

-More Hellboys and more Deadpools coming your way soon.

-Debate over gender differences in acting awards and where exactly a trans actor would be slotted.

-"King Arthur" isn't even the best movie this year with "King Arthur" in its title. This is a mess of a movie.

-"Risk," the new doc on Julian Assange and Wikileaks, isn't worth much of the effort.

-Stay tuned for an extensive discussion over 1996's "Showgirls" and Ben learns that Paul Verhoeven directed it for the first time in his life.

-This Week's Pitch --Parent/Sibling Buddy Films!

-Nate pitches an absent father who comes back into his adult son's life to reveal a horrible secret that will help the son have a baby.

-Ben pitches an ailing hitman father who kidnaps his adult child to spend time with him while on the run, a secret agent who has to bring his baby on missions, and a crazy series of family games to determine the heir of a corporation.

-This Week's Game Re-Cast It!

-Ben and Nate almost go through with recasting "Snatched" in different decades but then give up.

Direct download: pitch_176.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:46pm EDT
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With no new movies to chat about, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking back once again at failed TV pilots and wondering "what if" scenarios. The guys tackle three failed pilots from the 1970s, one of them weirdly entertaining, and then play another round of their newest and possibly stupidest game, So Shalit Be.

Available on iTunes.

-Episode 175 includes:

-"Black Bart" is a sequel to "Blazing Saddles" that was made for four years in secret just to meet a contract loophole.

-"Baffled!" is the famous pilot where Leonard Nimoy is a race car driver who gets psychic visions. How did they make this boring?

-"Starstruck" is a 1979 "Star Wars" ripoff/strange sitcom/family drama about a hotel and restaurant... IN... SPAAAACE. It's oddly compelling. See it for yourself on YouTube.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys pull random movie titles and attempt to come up with pun-heavy blurbs for them from the fabled mind of film critic and pun lover, Gene Shalit.

Direct download: pitch_175.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording after dark and hot off the presses after coming from a screening of "Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2," so they're a little tired and punchy, which makes for a slightly loopier podcast. The guys pitch montser-as-metaphor ideas after Anne Hathaway's "colossal," and then they call it a night.

Available on iTunes

Episode 174 includes:

-Director Jonathan Demme joins all those lambs.

-Ben loves "Guardians 2" and declares it better than the first, and Nate enjoys it thusly but prefers the first tune.

-Ben rewatched all the Harry Potter movies and has some new insights and questions.

-"Colossal" is a very different monster movie and even different from the advertising.

-This Week's Pitch -- Monster as Metaphor!

-Ben and Nate take turns pitching movies where monsters double as metaphors for struggling characters and their conflicts.

Direct download: pitch_174.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:28pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are grinding their gears over the eighth film in the never-ending "Fast and the Furious" franchise, and rather than pitch something related to this franchise again, the guys are pitching projects related to "Free Fire." It's stories based around one mistake that spirals out of control. Afterwards, the guys play a game of Re-Cast It to improve "Free Fire" and offer better characters into the same firefight scenario.

Available on iTunes.

-Episode 173 includes:

-Is there a darker undercurrent behind the tomato/tomatoe song?

-Reactions to new trailers for "Thor Ragnarok" and "Star Wars: The Last Jedi." Hint: one of them is positive.

-"Fast 8" is an absurd and ridiculous movie and that's still the best selling point.

-Ben sings the praises of the practical effects horror thriller "The Void."

-The would-be Tarantino knockoff "Free Fire" shoots blanks.

-This Week's Pitch -- One Mistake Goes Wrong!

-Nate pitches a lottery winner who gets his wallet and ticket stolen and the violent calamities that follow to gain control of the ticket.

-Ben pitches a man set off on a killing spree from the wrong breakfast order, and a space ark where one extra person upsets the balance of elements.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-Ben and Nate recast "Free Fire" by slotting in their own gunslingers, you know people with personality, and debate who would be the one to make it out alive.

Direct download: pitch_173_full.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:26pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had planned a "What the Hell Did We Just Watch?" edition for surefire disaster "Monster Trucks" and then had to change those plans when the movie actually proved to be okay. In light of that, the guys threw together pitches for family films based upon puns. Yeah, it was a bit of a stretch. The guys also introduce a new game that leaves them giggling like mad, the pun-laden world of Gene Shalit, the podcast's favorite film critic, is put to new use. Happy five years podcasting.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 172 includes:

-The guys debate the appeal of exploring dark places.

-A potential "Purge" TV show should make a killing. Get it? Get it?

-Ben says so long to "The Bye Bye Man" (DON'T THINK IT! DON'T SAY IT!)

-Surprise of 2017: "Monster Trucks" is actually an okay kids film.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pun-Based Children's Films!

-Listen for pitches for "Couch Potato," "Dog-Gone-It," and "A Monkey's Uncle" to know how far the realm of children's entertainment has come.

-This Week's Game -- Gene Shallit-Off!

-The guys randomly draw film titles and have to come up with a prospective blurb from Gene Shalit. Puns!

Direct download: pitch_172.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording after dark once again and it certainly brings out an extra dose of anger in Ben's case about a certain live-action remake of a classic anime. In honor of the Netflix original sci-fi movie "The Discovery" the guys are pitching stories based upon an unusual afterlife scenario.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 171 includes:

-Jordan Peele being courted to direct live-action Akira... run away, Jordan... run away.

-Ben unloads on "Ghost in the Shell" and says it is worse than "Suicide Squad," his worst film of 2016.

-Nate says "The Shack" is the most laborious Ted talk ever.

-Ben couldn't even get through "Why Him?" thanks to James Franco's balls.

-"The Discovery" is the kind of story that Garp would have written.

-This Week's Pitch -- Unusual Afterlife!

-Nate pitches a mystery of people waking up in a white void and trying to figure out where they are and who they are.

-Ben pitches the soul as a database that's found and exploited, the discovery that everyone who dies goes to a Hell, and being reincarnated as aliens across the universe

Direct download: pitch_171.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:27am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back fan of the podcast and overall Power Rangers fan Alex Knerem for a Power Rangers heavy episode now that Ben's most anticipated film of 2017 has come to theater. Expect lots of Power Rangers minutia while Nate tries to play the novice in this world of teenager drama and giant rubber monster suits. Go go, Dirty Sons of Pitches!

Episode 170 includes:

-The new "Justice League" trailer is out and it looks like hot garbage.

-Alex gives his thoughts on "Split," "Logan," and "Get Out," a movie that made him rethink his general dislike of horror.

-Nate says "Life" is an "Alien" ripoff and that's okay.

-"Power Rangers" may not have been the greatest movie of all time... but it was a fairly enjoyable franchise starter.

-This Week's Pitch -- Power Rangers!

-Alex pitches a recreation of an obscure Marvel comic "Team America" (no relation to the 2004 movie) based upon Evel Knievel toys.

-Ben goes nerdy to the next power by unleashing a torrent of Power Rangers pitches he's been waiting years to share.

Direct download: pitch_170.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:41pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording after dark and are a bit punchy, as quickly evidenced from their opening conversation. In honor of the horror B-movie "The Belko Experiment" the guys are pitching movies based around an office setting. Enjoy this especially energized podcast as the guys come to their 5-year podcasting anniversary. Also listen in on playgrounds in theaters, a possible "Matrix" reboot, why the Enchantress would leave helpful magical items to the Beast she cursed, whether Belle and the Beast had sex, Vampire Ice-T, and the latent labial nature of human-possessed wardrobes.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 169 includes:

-Watch as a conversation about Chuck Berry possibly being in hell goes to anatomical lengths never before imagined.

-What do Russia and Alabama have in common?

-Surprise, "Beauty and the Beast" is a charmless, inferior version! Do not be our guest.

-Ben defends Netfix's "Iron Fist" from attacks, and also berates those who complained about "Passengers" but excuse the Stockholm syndrome of "Beauty and the Beast."

-"The Belko Experiment" is a bloody, entertaining, good enough B-movie.

-This Week's Pitch -- Office Life!

-Nate pitches an office workplace comedy set in Heaven trying to make sense of God's contradictory demands. And then God goes missing.

-Ben pitches an office building during a zombie apocalypse, an Everything Evil office setting, two men competing to build the tallest building, and a Die Hard on take your child to work day.

 

Direct download: pitch_169.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:44pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recapping Oscars, lapping up R-rated Wolverine movies, and pitching final farewell stories for superheroes. It's a slightly delayed episode but the discussion will still be the same old level of esoteric nonsense and entertaining stream of consciousness banter.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 168 includes:

-The live-action "Beauty and the Beast" is banned from an Alabama drive-in. Not for the reason you may think.

-Oscars shock the world and one last "F U 'La La Land.'" Ben and Nate assess the Oscar telecast and make sense of its twist ending.

-Ben and Nate saw "The Red Turtle" and it was... fine. Ben was let down by the all-female directed horror anthology, "XX."

-"Logan" is a bloody, satisfying, mature finale. They saved the best for last. Where does the X-Men franchise go from here?

-This Week's Pitch -- Final Superhero Stories!

-Nate pitches a superhero retirement home and a mysterious killer stalking the ailing residents.

-Ben pitches an epic end of the Marvel Cinematic Universe that starts for Captain America when America elects... Trump, and it involves every big name character like Iron Man and the Hulk in a typically epic fashion. Strap in, folks.

Direct download: pitch_168.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:19pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking at the films of the man who set the bar for modern fantasy epics, Peter Jackson. Ben and Nate look at his early splatterhouse horror, the best and worst films of his prolific career, how underappreciated 1996's "The Frighteners" is, the impact and risk of the original "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and the excess of the "Hobbit" films, and where the guys might like to see Jackson go next. They also chat about the new "Kong: Skull Island" and compare it to Jackson's epic-sized Kong.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: peter_jackson.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 4:24pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are making predictions for the 2017 Oscar ceremony and are pitching stories based upon living in some aspect of Trump's new America in honor of Jordan Peele's horror debut, "Get Out." Enjoy Ben's extra raspy voice and just pretend that Jeff Bridges is on the podcast and doing the one gruff voice he seems to do with every character nowadays.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 167 includes:

-More bad news for Batman and could Mel Gibson actually direct a superhero movie?

-The guys predict the top eight Oscar categories while Ben moans and groans over the entire exercise.

-"The Great Wall" proves China can now also make mediocre monster spectacle. It's a new global age in cinema!

-"Get Out" is Nate's favorite theatrical horror film since 2012's "Cabin in the Woods."

-This Week's Pitch -- Horror in Trump's America!

-Nate pitches an investigative journalist that discovers the White House is sacrificing reporters they don't like and a post-apocalypse where scientists are hunted down for sport from climate deniers.

-Ben pitches Trump's West Wing starring the cast of "The West Wing," and a civil war between citizens determining their own reality.

Direct download: pitch_167.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are entering the proverbial Red Room of their imaginations in honor of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" sequel, "Fifty Shades Darker." The guys are pitching kinky movies involving sexual exploration. They chat about plenty of news items, catch up on awards films like "Elle" and "The Founder," and bemoan their tiring experience watching "Lego Batman."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 166 includes:

-Ben Affleck doesn't want to direct a Batman movie anymore. Burn all the DC movie to the ground. BURN IT DOWN.

-"Lego Batman" almost killed Ben. Almost.

-"Elle" might just be the rape-iest movie of all time.

-Nate says "Fifty Shades Darker" is even worse than the original and even the sex scenes aren't that good.

-This Week's Pitch -- Kinky Movies!

-Nate pitches a polyamorous relationship drama and a couple whose sexual experiments become more and more dangerous.

-Ben pitches a colorful small town comedy that pulls together to save the local sex dungeon, a dominatrix vigilante, and a Hope Springs of BDSM.

Direct download: pitch_166.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are takin' it to all the jive-ass turkeys out there with a double feature of blaxploitation films, both of which came out in what must have been the magical year of 1975. "Candy Tangerine Man" is about a family man who doubles as a pimp in a car designed for James Bond with amusingly comic villains, and "Welcome Home, Brother Charles" is a tonally discordant movie about an ex-con trying to get back on his feet for work and, oh yeah, he also gets bloody vengeance by strangling people with his prehensile penis. Yeah. Ben and Nate try and make sense of these two ultimately disappointing films and talk blaxploitation and exploitation films in general.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: blaxpolitation.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are trying to find their bearings in Trump's America and must already re-calibrate their thinking after M. Night Shyamalan's "Split" turns out to be a solid thriller. In honor of that movie, the guys pitch projects about multiple personalities.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 165 includes:

-New "Power Rangers" trailer equals Ben's constant euphoria.

-Animal cruelty controversy emerges from "A Dog's Purpose" which sounds like a family film made by Lars von trier.

-"Silence" is long and thoughtful and also long. "Slash" is surprising as a slice-of-life about DIY eroticism.

-"Split" is proof that an M. Night Shyamalan movie is no longer soemthign to fear.

-This Week's Pitch -- Multiple Personalities!

-Nate pitches a rom-com with two alternate personalities after the same girl and a heist squad all in one body.

-Ben pitches an adaptation of the game "Killer Seven," a person with multiple personalities is possessed by a demon, and a serial killer who collects personas of his victims.

Direct download: pitch_165.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:04pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are now inside 2017 and looking at the new-ness of it all, including a new president and a new slate of movies, though like the president, not all of them seem to measure up. The guys pitch urban legends in honor of the January studio dump "The Bye Bye Man" and get more than a little punch talking about several topics that range from race, to Broadway, to bodily functions now favored by the 45th president of the United States.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 164 includes:

-A new president is flowing in, streaming our way, and we'll all feel wet and dirty. GOLDEN SHOWERS, PEOPLE. Welcome to the New Year.

-"La La Land" needs to be stopped before it kills again.

-The guys chat about "Hamilton" and go off on a theater tangent that defames "Cats" and then some.

-Nate raves about "Moonlight."

-"Live by Night" and "Patriot's Day" are both slightly disappointing in their own ways.

-This Week's Pitch -- Urban Legends!

-Nate pitches a film following the fake Marine sniper biography of beloved children's host Mr. Rogers.

-Ben pitches a Slenderman origin as a fake thing, celebrity zombies, and the secret behind Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Direct download: pitch_164.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:17pm EDT
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Here's the second part of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" look at the best and worst movies of 2016 this time with brothers Ben and special guest George. They each reveal their Top Ten best movies, bottom Ten worst, and a slew of underrated and overrated films, as well as their own podcast plans for 2017 and beyond.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_163.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:42am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording multiple podcasts to cover the highs and lows of the year in 2016 movies. There are special guests to partake, and Nate welcomes back the original third Son of Pitch Eric back to each share their Top Ten, Bottom Five movies and underrated and overrated movies from the year. Stay tuned for Ben and George, and possibly other guests, to share their best and worst as well as the gents bid goodbye to the year.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_162.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:36pm EDT
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