Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are drawing a line down the middle when it comes to a battle of gender, pitting men and women against one another in this week's pitches in honor of the new film "The Battle of the Sexes." The guys also chat about the first new episodes of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as other topics such as the horror of Roland Emmerich's "Ghost Chase," buying in bulk with limited edition chips, the medical genius of licking things, whether Elton John should have been more explicit in his cameo, and the DCEU being even dumber than we first believed.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 190 includes:

-Harry Knowles, the pervy head of Ain't It Cool News, is revealed to be the latest film creep who can't keep his hands off of women.

-"Kingsman 2" is an unmemorable sequel that proves Matthew Vaughn may be mortal after all.

-Ben watches "Wish Upon" and wishes he hadn't.

-Is the sports drama "Battle of the Sexes" too kind to its resident misogynist?

-This Week's Pitch -- Men vs. Women!

-Nate pitches a long-standing couple that competes to see who can sleep with the most other people, and a resort that allows you to hunt your exes for sport.

-Ben pitches a bisexual "This Means War," a slasher damsel that turns the table, robots that try and get the last man and woman on Earth to mate, and  romance between two rival serial killers.

-Bonus Discussion -- Trek Talk!

-The guys discuss the long-awaited action-packed two-episode premiere of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as Seth MacFarlane's homage to Trek, "The Orville."

Direct download: pitch_190.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:11pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest and "Saturday Night Jive" podcaster George who has devised a special game just for them. He's been eager for weeks to talk about the strange experience that is "The Book of Henry" and has come up with a game to best illustrate the even more strange paths the movie takes. The guys round out the episode with another round of their pun-heavy game So Shalit Be and mourn the loss of Harry Dean Stanton in a typically insufficient way.

Available on iTunes

Episode 189 includes:

-Our long national nightmare is over: J.J. Abrams is returning to direct "Star Wars: Episode 9."

-Nate finds Darren Aronfosky's "mother!" to be an interesting allegory, but knows it will be hated.

-George cites two 2017 movies that stuck with him, "The Circle" for all the wrong reasons and "Wakefield" for all the right reasons.

-This Week's Game I -- And Then...?

-George describes sections of the plot of "The Book of Henry" and asks Ben and Nate to predict what will happen next. they are often wrong as this movie reveals itself to be absurdly wrong-headed.

-This Week's Game II -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys take their turns coming up with Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for the likes of "Room," "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," "Hackers," and more.

Direct download: pitch_189.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:07am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating the latest Stephen King adaptation, the killer clown film breaking all sorts of box-office records, "It." In honor of that movie, the guys are pitching stories about kids against monsters of all types. Stick around for the off-the-cuff conversation tangents like comparing the current "Star Wars" morass to Vietnam, Ben's face blindness with a very specific kind of actor, how a Jabba the Hutt movie could work, the difference between kids who act and kid actors, and a scientific breakdown which role in the human centipede is actually the worst.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 188 includes:

-Colin Treverrow is out at "Star Wars" and Kathleen Kennedy puts another head on her wall. Seriously, what is going on over there?

-Drew Goddard comes in to save the X-Universe right as it appears headed back to dormancy.

-"It Comes at Night" is a victim of misleading marketing and an ending that's just sort of... there. Hint: a plague comes out in daytime too.

-The guys absolutely adore "It" 2017.

-This Week's Pitch -- Kids vs. Monsters!

-Nate pitches an abusive priest who swears his bad deeds are really the demon inside him, so a group of his victims kidnap him and attempt an exorcism.

-Ben pitches killer Jack-O-Lanterns, kids trying to live it up at a murderous summer camp, and ninja kids thrown into a battle they are ill-prepared for.

Direct download: pitch_188.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:56pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are examining phobias and fears for the upcoming clown-centric Stephen King horror movie, "It." They end the episode playing a game of So Shalit Be, where they imitate famed critic Gene Shalit and come up with pun-laden blurbs for upcoming fall movies. Learn much about what Ben thinks about white washing, Michael Fassbender's legacy, whether he could live in the Matrix, where the new "Tomb Raider" movie has gone wrong, and what's really at stake with America.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 187 includes:

-The box-office is at a twenty-year low. How did we get here? Remember Tarsem?

-RIP Tobe Hooper and your crazy horror movies.

-Warner Bros wants Leonardo DiCaprio to play its other Joker. Don't think he's getting out of a supermodel's legs for this one.

-If you like weird whimsy, "Dave Made a Maze" is a DIY delight.

-"Tulip Fever" unleashes a debate over the overall attractiveness of Alicia Vikander and sides are drawn.

-This Week's Pitch -- Phobias!

-Nate pitches a teenager with a phobia of young people who lives in a senior center.

-Ben pitches lots of horror phobia concepts, including a serial killer obsessed with the number 13 and a woman who wakes up on a plane filled with a suicide cult.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and determine what pun-loving film critic Gene Shalit would think of some upcoming movies this fall.

Direct download: pitch_187.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:06pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are doing their best to try and understand what exactly is happening at the Warner Bros offices right now as news item after news item seems to confirm that nobody knows what to do with their DC superhero properties. The guys speculate about the avalanche of prospective news, chat about Joss Whedon's turn of events, the passing of comedy legend Jerry Lewis, and in honor of the live-action "Death Note" film on Netflix, they answer a series of challenging moral questions.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 186 includes:

-Jerry Lewis has died... now when do we get to see "The Day the Clown Cried"?

-WB and DC throw anything at everything at the wall to see what sticks, and Joss Whedon's wife comes forward to argue he is no feminist.

-The new animated Batman and Harley Quinn movie betrays the animated series... and it's got fart jokes too and... rape?

-Nate declares "The Only Living Boy in New York" to be insufferable hipster prattle.

-The Netflix "Death Note" movie is about as disappointing as you knew it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- Moral Quandaries!

-Ben quizzes Nate on a series of challenging questions inspired by the moral quandary at heart with "Death Note." Nate learns just how far he'll go for money.

Direct download: pitch_186.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:20am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are catching up on movies, sharing their 48 film fest short, and talking the world of fans and fandom thanks to the indie comedy, "Birgsby Bear." Nate's under the weather and sounding a bit more like Kathleen turner, so excuse his voice. In the meantime, enjoy another ribald entry from your favorite podcasters.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 185 includes:

-Check out the first dramatic short film from the Edwin J. Hill production group, "The Things We Leave Behind" for the 2017 48 Hour Film Fest.

-Lots of Netflix news. Losing Disney but gaining a Shonda Rhimes.

-So WB execs said "Justice League " was "unwatchable." Let that sink in considering these may be the same people that gave a standing ovation to BvS.

"The Dark Tower" will disappoint fans and not fans.

-"Wind River" is an intriguing, character-driven mystery that then.... just explains everything to you.

-"Brigsby Bear" is a poignant and surprising movie that might be this year's "Swiss Army Man" gem.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fans and Fandom!

-Ben pitches a Misery-style kidnapping, a fan dating his older TV sexual fantasy actress, a conspiracy thriller about a lost TV episode no one is allowed to see, and a series based upon the Star Wars commercial kid.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys pitch a perfect Samuel L. Jackson vehicle in seconds. That's all it takes, folks.

Direct download: pitch_185.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have some updates on their progress on short films and have a couple new movies to talk about, one good and one baffling. The guys are pitching product placement movies in honor of "The Emoji Movie" and basically struggling to make sense of a world of ejaculate spiders, Richard Belzer as cereal pitchman, and Rooney Mara's consumption of baked goods.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 184 includes:

-Learn Ben's top five fears in life and the time he almost invited a prostitute into his car.

-Once again, a bushy mustache brings down a DCU movie.

-NBC appears to be trying to invent a time machine to bring back 2000s TV.

-"Atomic Blonde" is "Suicide Squad" done right.

-If you're looking for a movie that features Rooney Mara eating a pie for ten minutes, your time has finally come.

-This Week's Pitch -- Product Placement Movies!

-Ben and Nate pitch movies around Pez dispensers, the Domino's Noid mascot, the mattress sheep, and an adventure with Coke mascots.

Direct download: pitch_184.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:42pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking stock of the lesser films of the summer and coming up with solutions to their myriad problems in their annual edition of Fix a Summer Movie. It was inspired following a car ride back from "Valerian and the City of 1000 Planets." Get ready for a Porgs-porging good time.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 183 includes:

-Porgs... is a thing... a "Star Wars" thing. Ben is unhappy.

-RIP George Romero, Martin Landau, John Heard, and the eternal question over being a boob or a butt man.

-The guys are underwhelmed by Nolan's "Dunkirk" and find it the least memorable film of his career.

-It should have been called "Valerian and the City of 1000 Better Ideas." Whew boy.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fix a Summer Movie!

-Ben and Nate make suggestions to better "Valerian," "King Arthur," "Baywatch," "Alien: Covenant," "Cars 3," "Transformers: the Last Knight," and "The House."

Direct download: pitch_183.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:40pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back and remind you to go see "Spider-Man: Homecoming" and "War of the Planet of the Apes," two of the best films of 2017. There aren't too many new movies to talk about this week so the guys catch up with news items, Ben confesses a personal problem, and they pitch movies dealing with wishes or genies in honor of "Wish Upon," a film neither has seen.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 182 includes:

-Disney's "Aladdin" is having trouble finding its lead, Star Wars Monopoly is having problems keeping its promises, and Ben is having his own problems.

-"The House" is a comedy that can't find its funny.

-Learn where Mike Myer got the inspiration for Austin Powers from in an old movie where people hunt others for sport.

-How in the world is a 1980s movie where Charlotte Rampling has an affair with a chimp this strangely dull? Welcome to "Max, My Love," a failed "What the Hell did We Just Watch?" entry.

-This Week's Pitch -- Wish Pitches!

-Ben pitches a sci-fi horror story about creating matter, a woman who can make anything happen by muttering a phrase enough times, and a man who wishes to be the wealthiest and smartest where everyone else just gets impoverished and dumb.

-Nate pitches a "nice guy" who can wish any girl to fall in love with him, but if he wants to trade his trophy, he has to kill the current one.

Direct download: pitch_182.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:05am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have several new movies to talk about, which include two of the best movies of the year and one of the worst. On top of that, there's seismic news on the "Star Wars" front with the ongoing drama lingering from the directors of the Han Solo spinoff being fired.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 181 includes:

-What the hell is going on in the world of the "Star Wars" spinoffs?!

-The new "War for the Planet of the Apes" is a blockbuster with soul and everything missing in big-budget movies.

-The guys review a slew of movies starting with B (Bad Batch, Beatriz at Dinner, Below Her Mouth), and all of them disappointing.

-The fifth "Transformers" movie almost killed Ben.

-"Spider-Man: Homecoming" is the best Spider-Man film and arguably the best MCU film yet.

Direct download: pitch_181.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:15pm EDT
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