Dirty Sons of Pitches

The guys watch what might be one of the weirdest animated films ever, the 2006 movie "Aachi & Ssipak," a South Korean product that takes place in a dystopian future where people are rewarded for their defecation with an addictive substance. Diaper-wearing gangs, cyborgs, porn stars that look like blow-up dolls, constipation, Prince gangsters, and lots of redundant and nonsensical storytelling follow suit. Ben and Nate try and find the right reference point for this very strange animated movie, and aftewards also talk about recent movies like "Ben Hur," "Kubo and the Two Strings," and "War Dogs" to close out the summer.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: aachi_and_ssipak_uncut.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a cue from the new "Pete's Dragon" and are looking at old Disney live-action movies worthy of a re-imagining for today's film market. The guys also discuss plenty more about "Suicide Squad" and just how far you can take a movie about talking food.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 150 includes:

-What is reverse Beetlejuice? You'll find out for your SATs.

-Even more "Suicide Squad" news, now with the fallout of the reception and a searing anonymous letter from a former WB employee (which we read in its entirety).

-"Sausage Party" is really a story about the atheist's plight.

-"Pete's Dragon" made both Ben and Nate cry and it's freakin' magical, you jerks.

-This Week's Pitch -- Live-Action Disney Remakes!

-Ben pitches remakes for "The Barefoot Executive," "The Island on Top of the World," "The Black Hole," "Candleshoe," and "A Tiger Walks."

-Nate pitches remakes for "One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing," "Song of the South," "Brink!" and "The Apple Dumpling Gang."

Direct download: pitch_150.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:48pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" devote a large chunk of this week's episode to the troubled and lambasted super hero movie, "Suicide Squad." There's much to unpack and spoilers will be had. afterwards, the guys pitch movies related to curses in honor of what looks like a terrible movie about Kevin Spacey curses into the body of a cat. To wrap up they play a game of Versus and pit their own Suicide Squad-style teams of movie villains against one another.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 149:

-Recap of the many stories related to the troubled production of "Suicide Squad" and the fanboy wrath against Rotten Tomatoes.

-Ben and Nate say "Suicide Squad" is jam-packed of awful. they go into much detail and spoilers, so beware.

-"Lights Out" is a fun horror movie that makes fine use of its premise.

-The long-awaited "Killing Joke" animated movie... was not worth the wait, and the new additions make it even worse.

-This Week's Pitch -- Curses!

-Nate pitches a sports documentary about famous curses, an anthology film around the real stories of the Hope diamond, and a haunted rocking chair of death.

-Ben pitches a man who turns all women into demon-possessed monsters after he has sex with them... but still won't stop having sex.

-This Week's Game -- Versus!

-The guys form their own Suicide Squad-style teams made from famous film villains and then pit them against one another.

Direct download: pitch_149.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are extra ornery this episode as the two podcasters take their corners and debate different perspectives relating to "Star Trek Beyond," the new "Ghotbusters," and the philosophical and personal judgement of art. Hide the children because it gets feisty as it goes.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 148:

-The "Divergent" series is being dumped to TV. Does anyone care?

-The guys memorialize Gary Marshall (R.I.P.) and come to the conclusion that every movie they liked that they thought was directed by Gary Marshall was actually a Penny Marshall movie.

-Ben says "Star Trek Beyond" is the best of the new series and gets closest to what makes "Trek" tick.

-Do you have to invest in a product in order to have an opinion of merit? Consider this the undercard for the main event.

-The guys have drastically different takes on the new "Ghostbusters" remake and get into their most contentious argument over a film since "The Amazing Spider-Man." Strap in.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

Too much arguing over Trek, Ghostbusters, and the different abilities to judge art from different perspectives.

Direct download: pitch_148.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:54pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are walking the walk and sitting down to watch and discuss the notorious 3.5 hour Western that destroyed recently deceased director Michael Chimino's (The Deer Hunter) career, ended United Artists, and shut the door on the autuer director era of the 1970s. Ben and Nate talk about several merits to be found with the movie amidst its excess and bloat. They'll save you two hours and you'll be better for it.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: heavens_gate.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:12pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a walk down the aisle this week (thanks Supreme Court!) in honor of "Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates." The guys are pitching movies centered around marriages and weddings.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 147 includes:

-Gay Sulu controversy and Ben and Nate are on opposite sides.

-DC news, again, with "Killing Joke" theatrical release and turmoil over at "Flash" movie.

-Ben finds "Secret Life of Pets" and "Finding Dory" both lacking but actually has nice things to say about Kevin Hart with "Central Intelligence."

-"The Shallows" is a great survival thriller and doesn't have nearly as much of Blake Lively's butt as the trailer would have you believe.

-"Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates" is an acceptable movie date.

-This Week's Pitch -- Weddings!

-Ben pitches a bride's survival family defending against hostage takers on her big day, a family that worries the bride-to-be is a husband-killer, and a woman who came from circus freaks who has to introduce her family to her in-laws

-Nate pitches a couple of friends faking getting married for all the free stuff and gifts and a wedding where the p

Direct download: pitch_147.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:19pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recording on the 4th of July and celebrating a country that allows for such bizarre and wonderful movies like "Swiss Army Man." In honor of that indie gem, the guys are pitching movies featuring prominent dead bodies and engage in a discussion over what movies they would want to take with them if stranded on a desert island. Along the way the guys talk about when erectile dysfunction may save the universe, whether Jagger and Bowie were getting it on during their music video shoot, the legal loopholes involved with the Purge, and whether or not modern pornography can be saved from its violent, female-unfriendly territory dominating the landscape. It's an eye-opening podcast.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 146 includes:

-RIP Anton Yelchin, an actor good in everything. RIP Michael Cimino, a director... of... long movies.

-Good news/bad news for fans: Paramount unleashes rules for "Star Trek" fan films; Michael Jackson's secret porn stash comes to light.

-The "BFG" does not translate well to the big screen when its best moment is the Queen violently farting in public.

-The guys are amazed at the sincerity and emotional impact of "Swiss Army Man," a movie prominently featuring a farting corpse. It's a big week for farts.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dead Bodies!

-Ben pitches a slasher victim consoling with her fellow victims on how to escape, an escort that wakes up handcuffed next to her dead john, and a rom-com with a cryogenic frozen lady.

-Bonus Discussion: Desert Island Movies!

-The guys share three movies they would take with them on a desert island.

Direct download: pitch_146.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:14pm EDT
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It's been over a year since the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" unveiled a new edition of their Director's Cut podcast subset, and so with the release of "Independence Day 2," the guys are looking at the career of the master of disaster himself, Roland Emmerich. Along with a review of "ID4-2"(?) the guys chat their favorite and least favorite Emmerich movies, why he's so good at disaster movies, ways 1998's "Godzilla" might be forgivable, the lasting power of "Stargate," and what they'd like to see him do next.

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: emmerich.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 9:00am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a cue from Jacques Cousteau and going deep deep under the ocean blue for this week's pitch. It also might have soemthing to do with Pixar's newest film, "Finding Dory." The guys discuss the ongoing Summer of Sequels (and the Summer of Meh) and then play another edition of Movies against Humanity to close out this week's episode. Learn about Ben as a lover and be forever unchanged. Also we apologize for Ben's voice and constant horse breathing.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 145 includes:

-Johnny Depp's career might not recover from the allegations from his wife. Although he did survive "The Long Ranger."

-"Warcraft" is making crazy money in China. Is this the new normal?

-"Now You See Me 2" loses what made the first one fun, and "Conjuring 2" finds enough of the original's spooky mojo to be enjoyable, "TMNT 2" doesn't do enough well, and "Alice in Wonderland 2" is even worse than the original. Depp has a sad.

-Nate thinks "Finding Dory" is in a lower league of Pixar.

-This Week's Pitch -- Under the Sea!

-Nate pitches a rediscovery of Atlantis and the threat of continental shifts.

-Ben pitches missing civilizations that sunk that re-emerge and go to war over Earth, colonizing the ocean, and a pirate treasure hunt.

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys play another game of MAH where they argue the best film title for the categories of "Most Conservative," "Most Dreamlike," and, "More Artistic."

Direct download: pitch_145.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:21pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating Memorial Day weekend by looking at the larger picture, namely the Hollywood trend of building super franchises with combined cinematic universes. The guys have a lot of news to catch up on, new and old, and lay into the newest "X-Men" movie for its many missed opportunities.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 144 includes:

-Ben and Nate lament modern pop music and shake their fist at clouds.

-DC films tries to get their act together. Also, our impression of Harley Quinn doing the "Vagina Monologues."

-James Bond rumors: Jamie Bell or Tom Hiddelston?

-"Angry Birds" is better than it could have been but still not good.

-"X-Men: Apocalypse" is a waste of everyone's abilities, and as we all know, the third one is the worst.

-This Week's Pitch -- Cinematic Universes!

-Ben pitches a Saban cinematic universe, a Canon cinematic universe to build a new Delta Force, a Hannah-Barbara universe, a Konami cinematic universe, and a Spielberg cinematic universe.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_144.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:47pm EDT
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