Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are exploring the would-be catastrophe that is Fox's new "Fantastic Four" reboot, currently being torn apart by critics and fans. The guys pitch unorthodox family projects this week and then play a game of Re-Cast It to better populate a modern "Fantastic" film. Along the way they talk about their possible safe words, Chris Farley as Shrek, David Vitter's diaper fetish, what went wrong with "F4" and what happens next, pitching a film about bad filmmakers exploiting the German tax loophole that helped fund Uwe Boll, and the power of sad giant heads eating planets and its connection to "Flash Gordon."

Availble on iTunes.

Episode 117 includes:

-Watch the guys' newest comedy short film for this year's 48 hour film festival: "Detective/Cop"

-Ben critiques the feminism of "Trainwreck" and the everything of disney's TV musical, "Descendants."

-Nate says the "Entourage" movie is 90 more minutes of bro wish fulfillment.

-Ben says "Fantastic Four" is one half of a potentially interesting movie. Then there was a second half.

-This Week's Pitch -- Unorthodox Families!

-Nate pitches a robot child that keeps living long after his family has died out, going from generation to generation of progeny.

-Ben pitches a horror version of "Just Go With It," a sitcom family that becomes self-aware, and a survivalist trying to hide her background from her groom while saving the wedding from terrorists.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-Ben and Nate recast a new "Fantastic Four" movie with its four heroes and a series of its more famous villains.

Direct download: pitch_117.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:16pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are catching up on the major July summer releases and in honor of the new "Mission: Impossible" film they're pitching spy properties. In light of the disastrous new Adam Sandler film, "Pixar," Ben and Nate play a game of Vanity Project to try and figure out how exactly Sandler could recapture his earlier mojo. Along the way they talk about the uses of poor Victorian children, the role of documentaries, Ben as symbol of American carelessness, another shooting in a movie theater, Game of Thrones spoilers, and the hopes of Nichiolas Cage action movies being turned into Broadway musicals.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 116 includes:

-What does Harry Potter have to do with "Troll 2"? Find out!

-Ben and Nate pitch a TV documentary series wondering what happened to some of the greatest movies never made.

-Nate dishes on the TV show "The Chair" and its two movies it inspied, one okay (Hollidaysburg) and the other awful awful awful (Not Cool).

-"Mission: Impossible" is consistently entertaining even if Tom Cruise is no longer kicking people in the face with the same gumption.

-This Week's Pitch -- Spies!

-Ben pitches a spy gathering with a mysterious killer picking them off, a usband and wife who are on opposite sides, Q as a lead, and a hidden suburbia of spies who were being trained as back-ups.

-Nate pitches Goon School, a group of teens being trained to be evil henchmen for master villains.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys attempt to come up with a series of prjects that would re-energize Sandler as an actor and fit his skill set.

Direct download: pitch_116.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:22pm EDT

Ben and Nate contemplate all their life decisions that lead them to watch the awful sequel to 2001's original "Joe Dirt." Ben declares it the worst film he's seen in THREE YEARS and is shell-shocked by how depressing and lazy and unfunny it is. It's available for free on Crackle.com, and even that is a price too high for this disaster.

Direct download: joe_dirt_2.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 4:33pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are inspired by "Self/less" and coming up with body swap pitches this week, after going through news items involving some bad behavior. They also talk about the need for the return of Nick at Night, the pointlessness of blackface in costumes and cosplay, the mysteries behind bathroom reief, the omnipresence of "Friends," whether the Minions are looking to be slaves, whether there are more hetero or homosexual porn parodies, Shaq as a great comedic actor, personal measurements, and themeaning behind "in like Flynn."

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 115 includes:

-Ben laments the over-use of samplying in modern music... and shares the price of bread when he was a kid and what's wrong with them kids today.

-Ben loathes every unintelligible second of "Minions."

-Nate thinks "Trainwreck" is a fine coming-out for comedienne, Amy Schumer, but it's Lebron James who is the film's comedy MVP.

-Ben says "The Cobbler" is a "poorly executed version of a movie I would like, or the best executed version of a movie that should not work."

-This Week's Pitch -- Body Swap!

-Nate pitches a conservative blowhard swapping bodies with a poor, disadvantaged black male and discovering maybe life isn't fair or equal.

-Ben pitches a body swap heist, marriage counseling swapping, kids switching bodies with their parents and taking over, and a hired killer who swaps to set up patsies.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_115.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:06pm EDT

One of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had a brush with danger since last recording, coming face to face with the power of flame in a house fire. That inspires the pitches this week. No game this episode but plenty of talk about other topics such as the "female experience" while defecation, the fact that Scalia is not the rhetorical master people make him out to be, what some possible negatives might be for removing the Confederate flag, taking Donald Trump at his words, Ben's lack of shame, whether Jai Courtney has the ability to not not be charismatic, the morally disturbing ending for "The Hot Chick," the positives of "Return of the Living Dead," whether trying to kill your own mom is a paradox in an alternate timeline, the creepy nature of asking for cleavage for auditions (Rose McGowan's story), the words "a poor man's David Krumholtz," and the sound of Fourth of July fireworks.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 114 includes:

-Ben explains how he saved his mother from a house fire. No joke. He explains his bathroom-centic consequences.

-Lots of news: replace that Confederate flag with a rainbow flag, folks. wow a lot of stuff happened since last we recorded.

-Nate says "Paul Blart 2" is like a modern-day Pagliacci.

-"Inside Out" is a modern classic that shows feelings can have feelings too.

-Ben and Nate debate whether "Terminator Genisys" makes no sense or no f-ing sense.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fire!

-Nate pitches a crime procedural from an arson inspection unit and an epic based upon the Billy Joel song.

-Ben pitches an invisible dragon, a ghost story where the spirit is fire itself, and a woman whose mood affects the environment (aroused = fires!).

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_114.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:28pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting pre-historic with their pitches this week in honor of the summer smash "Jurassic World." The guys are pitching dinosaur properties. After they play a game of Five by Five. Along the way they debate whether Mr. Portato Head was full of self-loathing promoting french fries, the long con of New Coke, how exploitative and awful "Criminal Minds" can be, the political and social meanings behind "Zardoz," the lasting power of "Dino the Last Dinosaur," the particulars of love in "Mannequin," and the unknowable subtitles of the "Land Before Time" direct-to-video sequels.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 113 includes:

-Ben and Nate talk about the passing of Christopher Lee, the most badass nonagenarian actor/metal singer ever.

-Nate re-watches "Zardoz" and will never be the same again. Again.

-"Spy" causes Ben to pause his dislike for Melissa McCarthy. "Tammy" is 30% forgiven.

-Ben thinks "Jurassic World" would be better with less meta and more dinosaurs.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dinosaurs!

-Nate pitches a children's movie where a group of kids finds a living dinosaur egg and have to hide it from the government.

-Ben pitches a dinosaur buddy copy film and a film with the greatest title known to man.

-This Week's Game -- Five by Five!

-The guys try and guess one another's list of five movies they created off the top of their head after being given a specific category. They then have a last man standing to see who can name more dinosaur movies.

Direct download: pitch_113.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:29pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are inspired by "Tomorrowland" and pitching movies and series based upon the iconogrpahy of Disney, be it movies, parks, or the man himself. The guys also experiment with a new game, Better With The Rock, trying to imagine The Rock in other movies and disocver a pairing that would not benefit from added Rock. Along the way the guys also talk about the "X-Files" history, the secret message of Hanson's "MMMBop" tune, the mistakes of certain "sexy" Halloween costumes, the purpose of a "Symbologist," the magic of early 80s genre films, and the trappings of female facial features in animation vs. the uncanny valley.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 112 includes:

-Learn about a really awkward Wizard of Oz rendition to educate about AIDS. Learn the forgotten pop-culture catch-phrase, "Please stop the monkeys."

-Hollywood white-washing news: can Emma Stone play Asian?

-"San Andreas" is a little too dumb for dumb fun.

-The "Poltergeist" remake: built on the graveyard of the better movie.

-"Pitch Perfect 2" is a message to normal extroverted kids -- yeah, it gets better, normal extroverted kids.

-This Week's Pitch -- Disney Iconography!

-Nate pitches "Die Hard"-in-a-Disney-park, and a behind-the-scenes documentary of near misses with beloved Disney and Pixar films.

-Ben pitches a steampunk "Frontierland," secret underground little people, a Disney princess team-up, and a curse relating to Tokyo Disney.

-This Week's Game -- Better With The Rock!

-Ben and Nate try and think of films of film scenarios that would NOT be imrpoved by the inclusion of The Rock. Is is hard.

Direct download: pitch_112.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:09pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking backwards and forwards by remaking sci-fi action film franchises from the 1970s and 80s, much like the new big-budget rendition in the realm of "Mad Max," a franchise last seen 30 years ago. In the game this week, a quick rendition of Movies Against Humanity. The guys take some strange detours, as usual, with topics like Spider-Man's natural ability to make webbing, whether Lucifer would work for the police or be a defense attourney, American Gladiator rip-offs, and Ben defend the insanity that is "Zardoz."

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 111 includes:

-Is everything all natural when it comes to Spider-Man's webshooting?

-Get ready for fall's next best TV show: "Lucifer" where the Devil leaves hell to assist the LAPD in solving crimes. This is a thing.

-When was the last time a Joe Dante film was watchable? "Burying the Ex" may not be that film.

-Ryan Gosling's directorial debut is an endurance test of terrible.

-Nate adores "Mad Max: Fury Road" and Ben says it's too much icing, not enough cake.

-This Week's Pitch -- Reboot 70s/80s Action/Sci-Fi Film into Franchise!

-Nate pitches a revamp of "Logan's Run" with an emphasis on today's generational divide with the Boomers.

-Ben pitches a revamp of "Hell Comes to Frog Town" and his dream casting for a remake of his dream movie, "Dead Heat."

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-Patterned after Cards Against Humanity, the guys take three categories and argue their cases for various films to be the best representations of the category topics. You'll never see "Big" the same way again.

Direct download: pitch_111-A.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:33pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" haven't delivered a commentary in a while, so they went back to a notorious 1989 horror film best known for its writer.director molesting the teen male lead character. What? Trust us, we talk about this heinous crime a lot while we find ways to make sense of a rather unmemorable horror thriller, which is saying soemthing for killer clowns. Watch a young Sam Rockwell in his film debut. Listen to Ben and Nate bounce around conversation topics including the cultural practices at brises, the requirements of sleeping on Francis Ford Coppola's couch, the fact that every movie literally takes place in space and in 3D, a mom and pop box farm, other famous creepy clowns, and the horrifying original ending to IT in the novel that Victor Salva would enjoy.

Enjoy the listen. Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: clownhouse.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 8:19pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting smaller as this week they get a jump on "any-Man" with pitches focusing on shrinking stories or incredibly tiny worlds. Beforehand, they have much to discuss with the response to the "Avengers: Age of Ultron" sequel, and this week's game relates, a Vanity Project with "Avengers" writer/director, Joss Whedon.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 110 includes:

-The guys come up with the next "National Treasure" premise.

-The firestorm behind "Avengers" and feminism is justified and also pre-existing. Why don't we have a Black Widow movie already?

-"It Follows" creeps Nate out but bores Ben.

-Nate says "Age of Adeline" is surprisingly decent; Ben says "Strange Magic" is surprisingly delightful. Who knew?

-This Week's Pitch -- Incredible Shrinking Stories!

-Nate pitches a world where the rich hire immigrant laborers to shrink down to tiny sizes to scrub out their internal organs to stay healthy.

-Ben pitches tiny people nudging you onto your fate's path, and a serial killer who shrinks down to kill.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys come up with movie and TV options for Joss Whedon now that he's leaving "The Avengers" franchise.

Direct download: pitch_110.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:34pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are once again watching the worst of the worst, this time a low-budget (veeeeeeery low-budget) Canadian superhero film that feels like a knockoff of a knockoff. Watch adults in masks and constumes talk in monotone! Watch ineffective action and gunplay! Watch... or don't, just losten to Ben and Nate rehash the pain of this movie. The guys also chat about recent film news and review "Avengers: Age of Ulrton," so just consider this the all-Avengers podcast.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: avenging_force.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 8:09pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bookin' suspects this week with a podcast where they pitch police themed shows and movies, in dubious honor of the new "Paul Blart" sequel. This week's game is a return of Movies Against Humanity and a return to the madness and pop-culture analysis that you've come to expect after 100 podcasts with these gentlemen.

Also available in iTunes.

Episode 109 includes:

-The Scatman can. The Scatman. Can. (cue endless scatting)

-Reactions to "Batman vs Superman" trailer are decidedly... dour.

-"Get Hard" is as unfunny and homophobic as its dumb title promises.

-Netflix's "Daredevil" erases the bad taste of the Ben Affleck film. Mostly.

-This Week's Pitch -- Cop Movies/Shows!

-Ben pitches a found footage film from police body cameras, a procedural where a new drug reveals a supernatural killer, and a giant spider monster that stalks the streets for justice.

-Nate pitches a crime thriller where a U.S. MP and a former Iraqi Republican Guard investigator must work together in recent post-war Iraq to catch a killer of women.

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys compete arguing which film titles are best represented in a series of categories, much like Cards Against Humanity.

Direct download: pitch_109.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:18am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking into the strange realm of cults for their pitches this week, inspired by the HBO documentary that the Church of Scientology does not want you to see. The guys catch up on "Furious 7" and "Insurgent" and "Cinderella," as well as other movies, and spend so much time chatting about their pitches, and especially the movies, that they have no time for a game this week.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 108 includes:

-The guys propose a very unclean homeopathic option they read about. You'll want to wash your hands verrily after listening.

-"Furious 7" might be slightly less furious-er than previous installments, but it's still furious-ish enough to be satisfying.

-Ben and Nate argue the merit over retelling another "Cinderella" movie.

-"Going Clear" goes there when it comes to Scientology.

-This Week's Pitch -- Cults!

-Nate pitches a survivor of a death cult who's hunted down by the remaining members who can only go to the afterlife is all of the death cult members are suitably dead.

-Ben pitches a reprogrammer who kidnaps a cult member for mysterious and vengeful purposes.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_108.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:58pm EDT

"Amazing" might be too generous a term, or perhaps it's exactly fitting. Ben and Nate are still left scratching their heads to assess the ripoff of a ripoff, "The Amazing Bulk," about a scientist who turns into a big purple man of rage. It's also entirely filmed on green screen and many of the visuals look like they were made in MS Paint. Listen as Ben and Nate try their best to make sense of this 75-minute excuse for a movie.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: bulk-A.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:17pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are revving up their engines in preparation for the next "Fast and Furious" entry by pitching car chase stories. If Hollywood loves itself a movie brokered around car chases, well here's the next hot would-be franchises. The guys also discuss the various world of YA novels-turns-movies and go over the pros and cons of each realm from a cost-of-living standpoint. 

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 107 includes:

-The guys address the people from the future who have a very specific prediliction.

-Batman cover art: should the artist every censor art from outside pressure? Can you see this cover and not understand the offense?

-Ben champions "Z Nation" over "The Walking Dead."

-"Run All Night" is another decent Liam Neeson movie where he runs around with a gun and barks at people.

-This Week's Pitch -- Car Chase Movies!

-Ben pitches an escapaed prisoner story where rich elites bet on their prisoner, a supernatural car chase, and a road rage virus that forces others to hunt one another to the death.

-Nate pitches a closing of the borders in wake of a plague, so a family must race across the country to escape the closing quarantine.

-Bonus Discussion: YA Post-Apocalyptic Worlds!

-Ben and Nate talk about the worlds of YA staples like "Hunger Games," "Divergent," "Maze Runner," and others and discuss which world they would rather live in if they had to make a choice.

Direct download: pitch_107.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:58am EDT

Ben and Nate explore what the folks at Aslyum have to offer with their requisite "50 Shades of Grey" knockoff, "Bound," starring Charisma Carpenter, best known as Cordelia on TV's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." What starts as soft-core doldrums magically transforms in the third act into... something... surprising. It becomes a commentary against "50 Shades" and actually empowering. Shocking. Listen as Ben and Nate try and reconcile what they have watched and the nature of Asylum knockoffs.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: bound.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:53pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recapping the Oscars and pitching movies akin to the recently crowned Best Picture winner, "Birdman." They're talking about movies that can be done all in one take. The guys also play another rendition of their game Five by Five and prove tht they either know too much or nothing at all. Learn what a "vag deferens" is at long last, as well as Lawrence Kasdan's last movie, the highs and lows of Stephen King adaptations,

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 106 includes:

-Oscar recap: Will Eddie Redmayne be doing unclean things for nickles at bus stations in 10 years time?

-Marvel takes back Spider-Man, but will it not spider-suck?

-"Harmontown" makes Ben "kinda hate Dan Harmon." Nate sees "Sex Tape" and it makes him kinda hate sex tapes.

-"Chappie" is like "Robocop" and "Short Circuit" had a baby and it grew up on trashy gangster rap.

-This Week's Pitch -- One-Take Movies!

-Nate pitches the last hours of a death row inmate, a view in a jury room, and an interrogation scenario all done in one take.

-Ben pitches a sniper film from a sniper's POV, split-screen movie, and a time traveler on an exploding airplane.

-This Week's Game -- Five by Five!

-Ben and Nate come up with specific film categories and have two options to win points: pick 5 movies no on the list for that category or pick all 5 that are on the list.

Direct download: pitch_106-A.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47pm EDT

In light of the runaway success of "50 Shades of Grey," Ben and Nate are pitching erotic thrillers to tanatlyze the creative possibilities. The guys get down and dirty with their bad selves and go to places they have routinely gone before on their podcast. Stay tuned for a further discussion on the gorwing industry of crypto-zoological erotic fiction.

Also availably on iTunes.

Episode 105 includes:

-Does Dorf still exist? Remember Dorf? Anybody?

-Nate and Ben make Oscar predicitons for the major categories. Ben complains again about the Oscars. Repeat.

-"Kingsman" is a head-poppin' good time, though relies a bit too heavily on the meta.

-Nate and Ben debate what is worst in "50 Shades" and there are many culprits.

-This Week's Pitch -- Erotic Thriller

-Nate pitches a coed who works as a high-end call girl who ends up being ensared in a political scandal.

-Ben pitches "Exit to Eden" but with Furries/Plushies and a reverse "50 Shades" scenario where a man seeks his dom.

-This Week's Game -- Fetish-Ize It!

-It's a spinoff of "Porno-Ize It" where we take peopular movies like "Back to the Future," "Birdman," and "The Godfather" and develop fetishes relted to the films' content.

Direct download: pitch_105.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:57pm EDT

The guys are finally back to what their title imples -- pitches. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are going back to their early podcast to honor the time they've spent recording and being ridiculous. Along the way the guys talk about a host of other weird topics.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 104 includes:

-The guys come up with the perfect formula for a movie: Liam Neeson + dinosaurs + kicking dinosaurs + Hitler.

-The "Gravity" lawsuit may be the most important Hollywood trial you have absolutely no clue about.

-Nate says that "Jupiter Ascending" is laughably terrible with a lead character who should have just been left to fall to her death.

-Ben catches up on a slew of 2014 horror films and singles out "As Above So Below" as the one to see.

-This Week's Pitch -- Sequels!

-Nate pitches seques to "Boyhood," "Seven," and "School of Rock."

-Ben pitches sequels to "Misery," "Three Men and a Baby," "Pet Semetary," and "Silent Night Deadly Night."

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-ize It!

-The guys take their own pitches and push them even further with more sequels.

Direct download: pitch_104.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:17pm EDT

Here's part two of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" recording with special guest George. The guys continue talking about recent movies and then play an extended game of the Gut-Check Challenge. How many Kevin Bacon movies can you name?

Available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_103.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are together with special guest George who shares his own version of the Oscars, the GABBY's, and discusses his best and worst films of 2014. The guys talk about the new all-female "Ghosbusters" cast, whether short people have no reason to live like Randy Newman claimed, the appeal of biopics, "The Interview" and "John Wick" and whether better movies negate perfectly good movies. Stick around for George's dead-on impression of Steve Carell's "Foxcatcher" character narrating the whole movie. Part two to be available soon.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_102.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:11pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" cut their last podcast in two, much like Solomon promised, and now the second part explores Nate and Ben's own top 10 lists for the best films of the year, the bottom 10 worst of the year, some underrated and overrated films, and lots of talk in between. It's a recap of the many lows and some of the highs that was the year 2014 in cinema. Can't imagine a world where there are EIGHT films worse than "Tammy"? Listen and discover for yourself.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: bestworst_2014.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:22pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back to two and Ben is returning for his first podcast since November. He's got plenty of movies to catch up on, and the guys also talk about the recent Oscar nominations and who is deserving, who got snubbed, who will and should win, and whether the Academy is a bunch of old farts in general. Stay tuned for a second part where Nate and Ben discuss their opinions on the best and worst films of 2014.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_100.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:54pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are down a Ben but are up an Eric as their former third member returns to discuss a flurry of exciting Marvel and DC news about the years-in-the-making rollouts of a dozen movies. There's also the big news that North Korea is threatening to attack the U.S. over "The Interview" and the response to this weirdly national dilemma. Eric and Nate also rundown a slew of movies they've sene since last recording.

Also available on iTunes.

Direct download: pitch_99.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:30pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have shaken off their months-long rest and have a lot of movies to get through. After some explanation for their absence and some general vulgarity you've come to expect, they cover films like "Annabelle," "Fury," "Gone Girl," "A Walk Among the Tombstones," "The 100 Foot Journey," "Dear White People," "V/H/S 3," "Left Behind," "Birdman," "Whiplash," "Interstellar," "Big Hero 6," "Nightcrawler," "The Skeleton Twins," and "Mockingjay Part 1."

Also available on iTunes, folks.

Direct download: pitch_98.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:32pm EDT

The latest retrospective on the Mexican director who has redfined our thoughts on big-screen creepy crawlies. Guillermo del Toro is a man who likes things squishy and deals with plenty of horror and fantasy imagery. And so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" discuss the man's career, their favorite and least favorite films of his, what they'd like to see him do next, as well as his involvement in the "Hobbit" trilogy.

Direct download: del_toro.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 7:50pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch-up with podcasts for 2014, and so here's the latest one recorded back in early October. The guys talk about their entries into this year's MOFA 3 Weeks of Terror short film competition. Also included in this episode:

-Get ready for "Tag: The Movie"!

-Twin Peaks is coming back to obtusely confuse the masses for a new generation.

-Nate thinks "Gone Girl" is a great toxic date movie.

-Ben is impressed with how dark and intriguing "Maze Runner" comes out to be, even if it doesn't make much sense in the end.

-Ben loves "The Box Trolls" to the surprise of no one.

-This Week's Pitch -- Switched-at-Birth!

-Ben pitches a human riased by puppets and puppets raised by humans, a haunted house that raises a child, a young Boogeyman and apprentice, and a boy living inside a killer robot.

-Nate pitches a story of a child raised by the ghosts of his or her parents.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project

-In light of the news on more Twin Peaks coming to Showtime, Ben and Nate think of what they would like to have David Lynch bring to life.

Direct download: pitch_97.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:25pm EDT

We recorded these quite a while ago, but now they're available for you to listen. Relive the late September memories of theatrical releases and celebrity hacking news. In this episode you'll cover:

-More celebrity hacking means more boobs on the Internet, for once.

-Ben explains why he wants to write a meta Shining porn parody and why it would matter.

-Nate finds enough to enjoy "A Walk Amongs the Tombstones."

-Ben enlightens us about worthwhile direct-to-DVD animated films, the gems of the bargain bin.

-This Week's Pitch -- Hoaxes!

-Nate pitches a small town working together to maintain a cryptid hoax for tourism purposes.

-Ben pitches a team of hoax debunkers who are realy supernatural beings.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It: Tusk Edition

-Ben and Nate have their minds go to some very dark places as they imagine different Hollywood actors and the physical transformations that would take place to turn them into horrifying animal hybrids. You will shudder listening to this.

Direct download: pitch_96.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:49pm EDT

This week on The Dirty Sons of Pitches, we do pretty much the same thing we do every week, talk about movies, tv shows, our penises, and so on. Sorry for the editting snafu at the beginning, but if it sounds confusing, just know that the only thing you missed was the first word of a set up for the same joke you've heard from us a million times. Enjoy. 

This Episode Includes

- Play the new Dirty Sons Of Pitches Bingo Game! It's incredibly easy. 

- We discuss the upcoming fall TV season, chide old media yet again, and quickly get off track.

- Nate is underwhelmed by No Good Deeds and Jack Ryan, while Ben talks about a slightly better spy movie, a charming indie with Michael Fassbender, yet another disappointing YA adaptation, and the cinematic abomination that is Jersey Boys. 

This Week's Pitch: Political Science (Fiction)

- Inspired by Atlas Shrugged Part Three, Nate pitches a Reaganite saving the Earth from Liberals and a division of American society based on Red Blue lines. 

- Ben pitches Tea Party Time Travelers, the richest man on the planet, guns for everyone, and a new process for capital punishment involving shiny red buttons. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five....Again

- This week we try the same game we played last week, slightly refined for the better, just to work out the kinks. We promise we'll have a different one next week (which will disgust you). 

Direct download: pitch_95.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:33pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we start with a cogent discussion of genital wigs and computer generated nipples and only get stupider from there. Without a solid pitch this week, we're fixing this years summer movies, and then introducing a whole new game...that we will completely change next week. 

This Episode Includes

Merkins. What are they, and why are we talking about them?

Nate discusses the Scarlett Johannson film Lucy, which he inexplicably enjoyed despite its complete lack of positive qualities. 

Ben raves about The One I Love, pans an internet reviewer's debut film, and watches the other Brendon Gleeson small Irish town movie of 2014. 

Also, Joan Rivers is dead. 

This Week's Pitch: Fix The Summer Movie Season

In lieu of a pitch, we discuss how we would have changed the big summer blockbusters of 2014 for the better, if only we could settle on when the season actually starts. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five

This new game pits host against host as one tries to guess what's in the mind of the other, exploring the dark and twisted psyche of a guy who composes lists of movies featuring amputees and killer robots in his head. Its fun for the whole family.  

Direct download: pitch_94.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, Nate and Ben discuss the Earth shattering news of...The Fappening, in which people we hate hacked the naked photos of people we hate but really want to see naked. We quickly skate by the moral ambiguity of invading the privacy of famous people we don't know the way we deal with all tough moral quandries - through the delightful post masturbatory haze that makes everything alright again. Also, like, some movies and pitches and stuff. Boobs.


This Episode Includes

- Did you not read the part about all the boobs.

- We update the Fantasy Movie Mogul Game, which nobody cares about because it doesn't involve boobs. 

- Do I need a third thing? Come on...boobs.

This Week's Pitch: Heaven And Hell Movies

- Inspired by a movie neither of us have seen, we pitch movies involving Christian mythology in a high concept context. I'm already tuning out for lack of boobs.

- Nate pitches an adaptation of Terry Pratchett and a movie about a reluctant antichrist, while Ben throws out demonic cyborgs, angel babies, and hypocrites left behind. 

This Week's Game: Movies Against Humanity

- We wrap things up with a few rounds of our favorite card game that in no way infringes upon the copyright of a similarly sounding game. Hear about the shocking secret connection between Grease and Flubber, and witness the first movie ever retired from the game due to overuse (Hint: it involves Midgets). 

Direct download: pitch_93.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:10pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons of Pitches, we were kind of tired, and it shows. We talk about a lot of celebrities that have died this year, the secret masturbatory career paths of filmmaking, a paltry list of movies seen, and a pitch based on a movie neither of us even bothered with. Its an episode almost as lazy as this short, incomplete description...

Direct download: pitch_92.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:26pm EDT

This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we grapple with the incredibly important news of Idris Elba's giant penis. Also Robin Williams is dead. We discuss the man's life and work and somehow avoid accussing a victim of suicide of being selfish or cowardly (its easier than you might think, Internet douchebags). Along the way we talk Intergalactic movies in honor of a big movie from a couple weeks ago, and play an all new This Meets That. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 91 includes:

-A whole new metric for judging movies, based on the work of Pauly Shore and David Lynch.

-Other stuff probably.

This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In Other Galaxies/On Other Planets

-Nate pitches a movie based on relativity and Ben ruins it with a Deep Space Nine reference, then Nate redeems himself with a movie set on a world of garbage. 

-Ben pitches, like a crap load of movies, with dinosaurs, deluded probes, and aurora borealas.

This Week's Game – This Meets That!

-Ben has a packet full of movies in lieu of a hat, and with it we get the broken Vegas life of the Little Mermaid, gun toting Willam Defore Jesus, and the most useless prognosticator ever. 

Direct download: pitch_91.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT

This week, we kinda forgot to come up with a pitch, so we watched Sharknado 2 instead. Before we get to our thoughts on the latest Asylum classic, we talk about the other movies we saw this week, including the latest Marvel effort Gaurdians of the Galaxy, Luc Besson's Lucy, and the sex comedy with lots of sex and very little comedy Sex Tape. After that, we get right into a conflict over whether Sharknado 2 is one of the most enjoyable movies of the year, or completely devoid of any enjoyment whatsoever. 

Direct download: sharknado_2.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:39pm EDT

Another week, another milestone 90th episode of the Dirty Sons of Pitches. This week we talk Purge pitches, exploring the many and varied ways you could expand this once thought laughable cinematic universe. Along the way, Ben makes fun of Nate for enjoying Herman's head...a lot. Also we saw some movies, none of which were the Purge coincidentally. We wrap things up with the final This Meets That selection from our now empty hat. Stay tuned for a new more reliably convoluted system. Well, more so than a hat I guess.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 90 includes:

-Do you know what a Homunculus is? Find out, and then continue not giving a crap.

-The guys hint at a new short film to come, then talk new preview picks from DC revealed at comic con, then quickly change the subject to a new pizza place to show just how little they care about the upcoming Justice League movie

-Nate spoils the fuck out of Hercules without a spoiler warning, and eats some crow for his earlier skepticism concerning the Brett Ratner vehicle, then spends way too long talking about Olivia Wilde and Scarlett Johansson nudity.

-Ben declares Tammy the new worst film of the year (America still doesn't count!), and slobbers all over his nerd self proclaiming Snowpiercer possibly the best.

-Pizza Cucinova. Quality artisan pizza made in front of your eyes for low low prices. Seriously, they don't sponsor us at all, they're just awesome.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In The Purge Universe

-Nate pitches a between Purge revenge tale, then backtracks thinking it might already be in the movie. He rounds it out by pitching a movie about people who don't kill people for a series all about people killing people.

-Ben pitches You Got Mail with machetes, an unrepentant pedo story, and a Purge era Batman tale, among several others.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!


-The guys have officially come down to the last two names in the hat, and one of the movies, neither of them have even seen. Still they try their best, and Ben augments the game by throwing out a home game idea of his own that Nate predictably shits on because its just too damn brilliant. 

Direct download: pitch_90.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:52pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches are done talking about hirsute dead directors and are back with a brand new episode, this week covering all things monkey related, from morally ambiguous apes who may one day inherit a dying Earth to the poo flinging primatives of the Tea Party currently trying to conquer our politics. We even game with monkeys on the brain. It's crazy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 89 includes:

-Yet more phallic innuendo!

-Ben and Nate discuss Dinesh D'Souza's America: Imagine A World Without Her, and stumble all over each other trying to adequately describe how terrible it is. In other doc news, Roger Ebert's death is still sad, and we all dodged a bullet with the death of Jodorowsky's Dune.

-Nate declares Snowpiercer one of the best of the year while Ben laments the state of modern high concept coming of age movies talking Earth To Echo. Also, spoilers, Uwe Boll still sucks.

-Both of us saw the new Planet of the Apes movie, and while we question just how much this new entry in the Caesarian Saga moves the franchise forward, at the end of the day we just can't deny the impact of killer apes on horseback double fisting machine guns.

-This Week's Pitch – Monkey Movies!

-Nate outright steals a pitch from The Simpsons with Hail To The Chimp. He then rounds it out with a sci fi flick about de-evolution, pissing off conservatives twice in one show.

-Ben steals from himself for a team of monkey superheroes, then throws out interspecies romance in space, a literal monkey bromance, and an amputee's revenge.

-This Week's Game – Monkey-fi It!



- We take classic movies and add monkeys to them. It's kind of self explanatory. 

Direct download: pitch_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:23pm EDT

This week, in lieu of a new episode, Nate and Ben talk about one of the most critically acclaimed directors of all time, Stan The Man Kubrick. Was he the genius he's crackec up to be, or just an overrated hack? Ben uses the opportunity to release some long pent up rage against The Shining, while Nate reserves his outrage for the Kubrick film that might have been: A.I. In our first posthumous DC, we wrap up by discussing what we would have liked to see if Kubrick could make one last movie. 

Direct download: kubrick.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 8:46pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches are back (Now with descriptions and everything!). They've recuperated from a mutual illness that was in no way instigated by any sexually transmitted shenanigans, and this week they're talking movies based on toys, some potentially disastrous Star Wars news (they hired the Looper guy), admitting to childhood plagarism, and probably other stuff that would require me to re-listen to more of the episode to adequately tease.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 88 includes:

-Tracy Morgan Update!: Still Not Dead

-Ben and Nate both enjoy 22 Jump Street, and believe it or not, Ben is perhaps a more enthusiastic fan.

-Nate tries to justify the schmaltzy manipulative tripe that is The Fault In Our Stars. Ben is not convinced. Then he gets all rapey with Maleficent (and no, I will not provide context for that).

-Ben reports back on a slew of movies including The Other Woman, Under The Skin, and Transformers, and remarkably finds the Michael Bay movie to be the best one.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Based On Toys!

-Ben pitches a Six Million Dollar Man toy movie, then throws out some 90's nostalgia talkin' Sky Dancers, Gator Golf, and Monsters In My Pocket.

-Nate pitches a Board Game movie based on Hungry Hungry Hippos (way to retread, like, episode five Nate), and then suggests the government's bargain basement solution to a post-Transformers world.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!


-The guys kind of waited till the last minute to do the game this week, but still pull it out by literally pulling some movies out of a hat. It starts a little slow, but you get what you pay for.  

Direct download: pitch_88.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:01pm EDT

This week on The Dirty Sons Of Pitches, a lot of stuff! Better description to come, as soon as Nate writes it. I'm tired. 

Direct download: pitch_87.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:23pm EDT

Now down to two, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" took a week off but they were not idle. The guys talk about their short film, which you cna view online now, and then pitch movies based upon foreign properties. Then in honor of "Maleficient" the guys play a game of Cast IT where they cast live-action versions of famous Disney villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 86 includes:

-The guys explain their absence last week making the comedy short film "Bacon and Eggs." Watch it here!

-Uwe Boll remakes "Suddenly", a film that fell into public domain. Did you know that was a thing? Movies you can remake at no charge, folks.

-Ben takes the lonely position of defending Adam Sandler's "Blended."

-"Edge of Tomorrow" is a great summer movie and even Tom Cruise haters can enjoy watching him die repeatedly onscreen.

-This Week's Pitch -- Foreign Properties!

-Ben pitches anime adaptations, the Necroscope series, and a retelling of the Lord of the Rings from the perspective of Mordor (Howard Zinn would approve).

-Nate pitches a Jaspar​​ fforde/Thursday Next film, swapped gender version of "Amelie," and begs for a "100 Years of Solitude" miniseries.


-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast live-action versions of Disney villains like Captain Hook, Jafar, Gaston, Ursula, Syndrome, and others.

Direct download: pitch_86.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a threesome again but for the last official time, as we bid goodbye to departing original Son of Pitch, Eric. His swan song involves pitching movies based upon vacations and then the gang plays one final game of Gut-Check Challenge. Thaks for 85 plus episodes, Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 85 includes:

-What would you give up to make sure there was no cancer in the world? How about... more cancer?

-Edgar Wright is out of "Ant-Man." As is most of our interest in Marvel's Ant-Man.

-Eric dishes about how much he loved the new "Godzilla."

-"X-Men: Days of Future Past" reignites the X-Men franchise by also eliminating the crappy X-Men movies from record.

-This Week's Pitch -- Vacation Film!

-Nate pitches a vacation-as-CIA-cover to nab a high-profile target. It's like "We're the Millers" meets "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

-Eric pitches a family heist movie at France's Louvre. The family that steals together... eats... meals together?

-Ben pitches a combination of "Home Alone" meets "Captian Phillips," and the logistics of Holodeck fornication.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-The guys go round outbidding how many movies they can name starring a selected actor. The first one to three points wins.

Direct download: pitch_85.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm EDT

The Dirty Sons of Pitches may not be a threesome this week, but we're still just as sexy. In honor of the new hit film Godzilla, this episode is a tribute to Giant Monster Movies, but we still have time to go off on stupid tangents about oh so important topics like self fellatio and poorly thought out porn parodies. We tackle some recent superhero news including a new X Man and our first glimpse at the new Batman, as well as the death of a surrealist icon and the unnecessary dickishness of a professional monkey mimic (see, we can be reductive too!). Also, Jim Belushi still sucks, in case you were wondering.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 84 includes:

- Nate considers Neighbors to be top tier Seth Rogen and then explores the dark and seedy underbelly of people who ride bicycles for a living. Thrilling.


- Ben shits all over the new CGI movie Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, and then re-evaluates his position on Stephen King's It (way more little kid sex than he remembered).


- Both of us see the new Godzilla film as a qualified success - the parts with Godzilla were great. The parts without Godzilla needed more Godzilla. Let Them Fight!

-This Week's Pitch -- Giant Monster Movies!

- Nate pitches Attack Of The Killer Tomatos with Beets (a marked improvement), and then a literal interpretation of the title of a reality show.


- Ben unsurprisingly pitches a movie involving Giant Monster semen, then launches into perhaps the longest and most detailed pitch in the show's history, short of perhaps Chris Holben: The Movie.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!


- For our game this week, its another addition of Vanity Project, in which we…basically bitch a little more about what we didn’t like about Godzilla under the guise of discussing what the big lug should do next.


Direct download: pitch_84.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:31pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited as a threesome and Eric has several movies to get off his chest. Beforehand, the guys talk about recent TV shows that have been cancelled and renewed, specifically NBC's "Community." The gang pitches versus tales, pitting one group against another in some form of conflict. Yeah, it's kind of vague, but go with it. As they spend so much time cathcing up and chatting about TV news, they run out of time for a game this week. Next time, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 83 includes:

-Goodbye Bob Hoskins. We still liked you in "Super Mario Bros."

TV cancellations: no six seasons and a movie for "Community." TBS, save this show!

-Even fans should turn away from Jay and Silent Bob's Groovy Cartoon Movie."

-Eric expounds on "Draft Day," "Amazing Spider-Man 2," "Delivery Man," and, "Dead Heat."

-Ben wishes "Neighbors" was more than an excuse for Jackass-stye pranks. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Versus!

-Eric pitches Terminator vs. Rambo and the ultimate briday battle, nuns vs. vampires.

-Nate pitches robots vs. zombies, dinos vs. zombies, and two spies trying to bring back the good old Cold War. 

-Ben pitches Santa vs. Frankstein, future selves vs. past selves, and aliens vs. the Earth.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_83-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are all flexing those muscles they haven't used since college as they pitch movies based upon famous paintings in relation to the indie film "Belle." Beforehand, they tlak about several big news items, including the revealed cast for "Star Wars Episode 7," go over Spider-Man's second return for a second film to the big screen, and then play a game of Cast It where they envision the Sinister 6 and who would play the famous Spidey villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 82 includes:

-Bryan Singer's legal troubles.... yeah.... so.... that.

-Zack Snyder announced as director of "Justice League" movie as well. There is no relief.

-Nate congrats "Heaven is for Real" for being nice and inclusive.

-Ben enjoys "Amazing Spider-Man 2" but wishes it wasn't all so rushed.

-This Week's Pitch -- Movies Based on Famous Paintings!

-Nate pitches a world of interchangeable body parts a la cubism and how that changes our sense of beauty and identity.

-Ben pitches a LOT of ideas because he knows way more about art history than you ever would have guessed.

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-Nate and Ben forecast the eventual players of the Sinister 6 and who would best play the baddies.

Direct download: pitch_82.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are talking about good plans gone wrong as they pitch Murphy's Law pitches, namely a scheme or event that spirals out of control. The guys talk about recent strange movie projects in development, a scad of movies they watched, then play another game of Movies Against Humanity but they need YOU to judge the winner by emailing Ben and telling the guys who won the game.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 81 includes:

-Get ready for a Peeps movie... to remind you that you hate Peeps.

-Ben and Nate froth wildily over the action awesomeness of "The Raid 2."

-"Oculus" is right up Ben's horror alley, especially with extra Amy Pond.

-Hey, did you expect "A Haunted House 2" to have a rape sequence? Hilarious!

-"Transcendence" is a movie for people that don't know technology. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Murphy's Law!

-Nate pitches a blackmail that spirals out of control, all involving a male pron star's most cherished member.

-Ben pitches a haunted house heist movie and a Rube Goldberg world. Think of the art direction!

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices BUT this time they need you to judge the winner.

Direct download: pitch_81.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" haven't provided a full commentary track in almost a year, so to celebrate Easter, they reopened a forgotten not-classic, 1994's "Dinosaur Island," a movie that could have more accurately been titled, "Big Booby Lady Island and Some Dinosaur Puppets."Ben and Nate bounce around a great array of topics as the film is so boring, which means you too need something else to entertain you, and that is this commentary. As always, look up the movie on Netflix streaming and then synch up when cued. Or you could listen freely to the conversation on early breast implants in history,  the changing standards of beauty, the USA TV network's 90s lineup of original programming, soft-core vs. nudie cuties, and the practicality of breeding.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: dinosaur_island.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 11:57pm EDT

In the absence of Eric, the remaining "Dirty Sons of Pitches" get all paranormal, pitching ghost stories while also playing their game Sequel-Ize it to imagine a Ghostbusters 3, a sequel reportedly ramping up into production. Along the way they also discuss "God's Not Dead" at length, Ben's misconceptions of what an NFL draft is, John Henson leaving Talk Soup, substitute teachers who appeared on physical game shows, the inexorable appeal of Mike O'Malley, the shocking news that science is now able to grow lady parts in a lab, the foibles of the found footage genre, Ben accurately guessing the ending to "Nymphomaniac," the appeal of contractions to the youth, crummy DeNiro horror movies, whether ghosts can reform, and the lack of a sign-off after 80 episodes.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 80 includes:

-David Letterman will gave way to Stephen Colbert in 2015, but does anyone still watch?

-Ben thinks "Best Night Ever" fails to live up to every point in its title. Friedberg and Seltzer!!!

-"Draft Day" will be the highlight of the Cleveland Browns season.

-Nate watched 4 hours of "Nymphomaniac" and had the whole thing ruined by the last 90 seconds.

-Is "God's Not Dead" the most mean-spirited Christian wide release movie ever?

-This Week's Pitch -- Ghost/Haunting Story!

-Ben pitches a "Ghost Hunters"-like group that fakes its own findings, a clone haunted by the ghost of his original DNA, and a rom-com involving two possible suitors, one of them a ghost.

-Nate pitches an evil gym teacher keeping control of his students with haunted gym socks, as well as the story of a haunted toilet.

-This Week's Game -- Sequel-Ize It!

-The guys hash out a topical and satisfying sequel for the "Ghostbusters" franchise.

Direct download: pitch_80_16-55-28.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:55pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" put together a lengthy conversation hashing out the best and worst TV finales in response to the hwoling dislike stemming from the "How I Met Your Mother" finale. Afterwards, they pitch movies around nationalistic super heroes in honor of the new Captain America film, and then they wrap things up playing a game of This Meets That.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 79 includes:

-The guys take a crack at the hated "How I Met Your Mother" fianle, opening the door to a larger discussion on classic TV finales that worked, that whiffed, and that deserve defending. 

-Eric and Nate both sing the praises of Aronofsky's "Noah."

-Ben has found a movie that might just be... the greatest film of all time... "Dead Heat." It's got zombies, zombie cops, Joe Piscopo, and 80s awesomeness.

-"Captain America: The Winter Soldier" has it all, including more Gary Shandling.

-This Week's Pitch -- Nationalistic Hero!

-Nate pitches Zeus in Greece and Pharoah Force Five in Egypt. 

-Eric pitches Captain Jack, an Aussie superhero whose getaway is a kangaroo pouch.

-Ben pitches an Israeli superman torn by his duties, a team of Canadian heroes lead by The Mountie and The Beaver, and a communist hero out of time.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The guys play a game combining two random movie titles into a new property.

Direct download: pitch_79.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:15am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited for the first time in a month, and they welcome their pal Alan along for the fun. In honor of a new Muppets movie, the gents are pitching puppet-related films and shows. they talk about the new trailers for "Hercules" and Michael Bay's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" reboot, but mostly they talk about weird tangents and inappropriate conversation topics. The gang plays another round of the newest game, Movies Against Humanity, and it leads to similar hilarious results.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 78 includes:

-Learn about Zest's earlier, ill-conceived ad campaign. You'll never feel Zestfully clean again.

-Could the relationship between Goofy/Pluto relate to Oscar-winning "12 Years a Slave"?

-Alan praises Wes Anderson's "Grand Budapest Hotel" and its fast-paced Andersonian whimsy.

-Ben is surprised by how interesting he finds the world of "Divergent."

-Eric (indoctrinated in the ways of "Legally Blonde 2") catches up with "Mr. Peabody," "John Carter," "Dallas Buyers Club," and "Muppets Most Wanted."

-This Week's Pitch -- Puppets!

-Alan pitches a mockumentry on the skeleton puppet from the Grateful Dead "Touch of Gray" video.

-Ben pitches a puppet serial killer, puppets within puppets within puppets, and a film described as "The Face of Love" meets "Lars and the Real Girl."

-Nate pitches a rom-com involving a famous puppet living in our world, and unknowingly rips off "Magic."

-Eric pitches a big-screen version of "Jim Henson's Storytellers" and a film noir with marionettes.

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

Direct download: pitch_78.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:49pm EDT

Down an Eric, 2/3 of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" embark on another journey into the annuls of the cinema of strange with the Italian splatter horror film, "Taeter City." It's about cannibalism, and consumer culture, and a dystopia, and zombies, but really it's all about how many different ways human bodies can be sliced, diced, exploded, ripped apart, impaled, and overall generally mistreated. But before getting into the muck, they discuss a barrage of movies recently watched including "Divergent," "3 Days to Kill," and "Muppets Most Wanted." Also they discuss Pamela Anderson's would-be film career, the early cartoons of Spike TV, why the nipple seems to be the most offensive part of the human body, and a lot of "Quantum Leap" references.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: taeter_city.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 4:00pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are missing Eric again this week but to fill his shoes they've brought along frequent guest, George. The guys catch up on movies and then brave into an exciting new game of Ben's design, and by design we mean it's based off of other popular games but with a little twist. "Movies Against Humanity" requires players to draw cards with film titles and then play one per category, but they must argue their case as to why their movie, silly or genuine, should be declared the winner. It's a game they'll actually play again but enjoy the first go-round.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 77 includes:

-The only good thing about the "300" sequel is the greatness of Eva Green.

-Nate and George both catch up with "Nebraska" and enjoy the journey.

-George explains why he hated Best Picture-winner "12 Years a Slave." Hint: he's not racist.

-Ben blows our minds with the no-budget fantasy film, "Tater City." Wait, what?

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's (New) Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-Inspired by another game, and maybe two, the guys try out a new film game that's pretty much like Apples to Apples/Cards Against Humanity, where they draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, the guys must defend and argue their choices to a judge. Enjoy the nonsense.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_77.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:43pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch up, reviewing the 2014 Oscar ceremony, looking back at the career of the late Harold Ramis, and then in honor of the new film "Mr. Peabody & Sherman," the gang pitches adaptations of classic cartoons from before the 1980s. Then the guys play a round of their game Cast It and estimate who would make good choices for live-action versions of two famous cartoon families.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 76 includes:

-The guys recap the most boring Oscars in years and mourn Harold Ramis and his impact on the comedy world.

-"Non-Stop" is as much fun as you can have with Liam Neeson in midair without snakes.

-Ben says "Pompeii" is like "Titanic" meets "Gladiator" and actually worth seeing.

-The terrible fantasy film "Winter's Tale" breaks Ben's brain.

-Nate wishes "3 Days to Kill" was more satirical than being a bland reverse "Crank."

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a pre-1980s Cartoon!

-Nate pitches Droopy Dog as a therapist for toons and a "Producers"-style satire updating one of the most racist, offensive cartoons of the past ("Coal Black and the Sebbin Dwarves").

-Eric pitches a modern-day Johnny Quest adventure and an unhelpful Funky Phantom.

-Ben pitches a dramatic Magilla the Gorilla and resurrects Super President whose secret desguise is... the President of the United States. 

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast the main families for live-action versions of "The Jetsons" and "The Simpsons."

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_76.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:05pm EDT

Without the pressence of Eric, the remaining "Dirty Sons of Pitches" soldier on and endure the 1994 animated German film "Felidae." It's a murder mystery detective tale told from the point of view of talking cats in a human world. and so, get ready for plenty of sex, picture of penetration, and way too grpahic and distrubing violent imagery, including lovingly animated sequences of cat guts. The guys are beside themselves trying to imagine how this movie was ever intended for children, and that's just the start of this puzzle. You'll never look at Germany the same way again. Or maybe you never did.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: felidae.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 2:26pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have a busy podcast this week. They run through the top Oscar categories and predict the big winners, cover a bunch of movies, pitch disaster movies in honor of the big-budget volcano epic "Pompeii," and then play part one of the ongoing game, Fantasy Movie Mogul. The guys draft their team of movies to follow through the year, jostling for the top spot when it comes to combined box-office gross.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 75 includes:

-The guys predict the major categories for this year's Oscar ceremony. Any upsets?

-Eric thinks "RoboCop" is an average action flick that suffers in comparison.

-Ben has a slew of little seen horror films to check out on VOD.

-In his quest to watch every Uwe Boll film, Nate may have found a decent one, and on Netflix.

-Nate almost recommends "Winter's Tale" just for how powerfully insane it is. Come for the magic flying horse and stick around for Will Smith as the Devil. You read that right.

-This Week's Pitch -- Disaster Movies!

-Ben pitches a 9/11 film looking at the lives of those who try to survive inside the Trade Center.

-Nate pitches a horrifying account of the Triangle Factory fire in 1911 that killed 146 people, which led to legislation for new safety standards for workers.

-Eric pitches a modern-day Noah and a heist set against the backdrop of a hurricane.

-This Week's Game -- Fantasy Movie Mogul!

-The guys play the first part of their fantasy box-office game, each drafting ten films to track their profits throughout the year. You can play too at the blog for the game.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_75-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" mourn over some recent tragic news, pitch romantic comedies in honor of Valentine's Day, and then the gents preview some new goals and games heading into 2014, including plans related to their next anniversary show.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 74 includes:

-The guys reflect on the tragic loss of Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

-So... Woody Allen's back in the news... again...

-"Monuments Men" magically finds a way to screw up a surefire premise.

-"Robocop -- where Michael Keaton looks like "a turtle chewing on a piece of lettuce."

-"The LEGO Movie" might not be the 90-minute commercial you thought it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- Romantic Comedy!

-Eric pitches a romance based upon the true story of a woman leaping off the Eiffel Tower. The French have a different idea of romance. 

-Nate pitches a Romeo/Juliet romance where the starcrossed lovers are children of rival college football coaches.

-Ben pitches a romance between rival presedential candidates and "The Matrix" of rom-coms.

-This Week's Game -- None... but News

-Nate previews an upcoming multi-month new game, Fantasy Movie Mogul, and Ben asks for suggestions for a yearlong goal for the next podcast anniversary.

Direct download: pitch_75.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:58pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are strung up when it comes to talking about the strange 2004 film "Strings," a fantasy film populated entirely with marionette puppets (think "Team America"). The creators actually use the reality of the puppets into their storyteling in surprising ways, enough so that this is the FIRST WtHDWJW entry where the guys actually recommend watching (this will surely be a rareity). The guys also discuss the logistics of puppet-related intimacy, taking other creative mediums into their own mythology, and make a passing comment on the recent Woody Allen absue scandal resurfacing. But really, it's all about puppets.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: strings.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 11:58am EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited despite the cold and going back in time to a pitch from one of their earliest shows. The guys pitch time travel movies and properties, then play a new game Build a Pitch, where they go one-by-one saying a word to build a movie logline/premise.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 73 includes:

-The Oscars rescind a Best Song nomination for improper campaigning shenanigans and not because it's actually kind of terrible. Weird fact: sung by a quadriplegic woman.

-Lex Luthor will be played by Jesse Eisenberg? You wasted your nerd rage on Batfleck, fanboys.

-Ben soldiers through "Ride Along" and "I, Frankenstein" so you don't have to. Oh boy.

-Eric says "August: Osage County" is the best he's seen Julia Roberts since "Hook." Since "Hook"!

-This Week's Pitch -- Time Travel II!

-Eric pitches a rom-com where a man can flash to the end of a future relationship just by touching a person. Cuts down on the getting-to-know-you stuff.

-Nate pitches a future explorer unstuck in time, randomly being transported every 10 minutes.

-Ben pitches a comic story where an older man mentors his younger self to be a hero. Also, a group that travels through time to bang famous historical figures.

-This Week's Game -- Build a Pitch!

-Styled after an improv game, the guys take turn saying a word, building a movie logline for a time travel movie. This game will probably never be played again.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_73.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are down one son, but while Ben may be snowed in, Eric and Nate do their best to carry on in his name and legacy. The guys take a long look at documentary filmmaking and some of their favorite docs, as well as what it takes to make a great documentary. They then pitch their own doc films and series, with a brief contribution from Ben, and then play a round of Adapt the Unadaptable taking famous docs and transfering them into fictional features.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 72 includes:

-Ben is absent, reporting from the Russian Olympics. Or a Russian prison. Probably prison.

-Tarantino's new script leaks onto the Net and now he wants to take his ball and go home.

-Eric and Nate discuss a new so-bad-it's-good cult movie in the making, Neil Breen's "Fateful Findings." You'll never look at laptops the same way again.

-Eric talks about the documentary "Bronies" and Nate catches up with Oscar-niminated doc, "The Act of Killing."

-The guys discuss in greater detail what makes a good documentary, the likes of Errol Morris and Michael Moore and Alex Gibney, change fostered thanks to docs, and some of their favorites.

-This Week's Pitch -- Documentaries!

-Eric pitches a look at conservative comedians and a film following the real-life "Wrestler."

-Nate pitches a behind-the-scenes doc series resurrecting some of the worst movies of all time by the people involved who bare the scars.

-Ben pitches a look at shark surfers, the most badass thing you can do on the water.

-This Week's Game -- Adapt the Unadaptable!

-Eric and Nate take three popular documentaries (2004's "Super Size Me and "Farenheit 9/11," 2013's "Blackfish") and adapt them into fictional features.

Direct download: pitch_72.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:19pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bundling up from the weather and fighting back against Old Man Winter, namely pitching cold weather ideas inspired by the once-in-a-100-years Polar Vortex. Rather than a game this week, the guys use a bonus discussion to highlight the films they're looking forward to in 2014.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 71 includes:

-Reactions to the 2014 Oscar nominations: everybody do the "Hustle"? Which films surprised and which were snubbed, and who may win.

-Reactions to the 2014 Razzie nominations: The bigger snubs and injustices. We know you know "InAPPropriate Comedy" exists.

-Nate thinks "Secret Life of Walter Mitty" is a message and a soundtrack in search of a movie.

-Ben wishes "Wolf of Wall Street" had cut back on its narrative fat and reundancy.

-"Grudge Match": the worst CGI... EVER. "Polar Expres" got nothin' on digitally young Sly and De Niro.

-This Week's Pitch -- Polar Vortex (a.k.a. Cold Weather)!

-Nate pitches a survival thriller with people trapped in an endless snow storm.

-Eric pitches a treasure-hunting adventure where a lost location is revealed once every Polar Vortex, and a tale of Hell freezing over.

-Ben pitches a warmth succubus, a Mad Max in a frozen world, a post-Ice Age father-daughter drama, and a combination of Frozen and Taming of the Shrew.

-Bonus Discussion: 2014 Hopefuls

-The guys talk about several movies they're looking forward to seeing in 2014.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_71.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" owe the world a commentary, because after some issues with Netflix streaming, they gave up 40 or so minutes into 1995's "Congo," the killer ape action movie that's just as misguided and goofy today as it was back when it was released. Some of the gents even remember seeing the movie in the theater and reading the original Michael Crichton novel. It was a different time in the mid 90s, one you'll discover if you decide to watch "Congo" on Netflix streaming and then sync up your audio to the commentary. Either way, enjoy the fabulous waste of tax dollars giving an ape the ability to sign. So like us!

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: congo.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 12:31pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" hearts may go on but they'll never be the same thanks to reigning box-office King of the World, James Cameron, the subject of the latest podcast subseries, Director's Cut. The gang discusses Cameron's history with action films, his impact on the Hollywood blockbuster, his best and worst films, and what they would like to see him work on next, you know, instead of a thousand "Avatar" sequels for the next 20 years. So don't get your ponytail in a bunch and start listening.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: cameron.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 12:00pm EDT

It's the start of a new year and the best way the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have to begin another year is to devote an entire podcast to Tyler Perry's famous matriarch, Madea. Eric, Nate, and Ben pitch Madea films then play a game inserting Madea into classic older films. Also, is Madea the black Ernest?

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 70 includes:

-Ben may be pregnant. But who's the father???

-Eric declares "Inside Llewyn Davis" to be the tale of an a-hole being an a-hole. The end.

-Shocker: Ben could have used LESS hardcore lesbian sex in "Blue is the Warmest Color."

-Ben and Eric think "American Hustle" is a lot of bad wigs, needless weight change, tacky accents, 70s music, poor casting, science ovens, and side boob.

-This Week's Pitch -- A Madea Film!

-Eric pitches a love that dare not speak its name. Inspired by "Blue is the Warmest Color," Tyler Perry's Madea falls for Oprah. Picture their lovemaking. Now try and un-picture that. Good luck.

-Nate pitches Madea in space and a Madea prison break... from a men's prison.

-Ben pitches Madea as a demon hunter, Madea as president (as a Republican?), Madea as time traveler, and Madea and Big Momma trading places.

-This Week's Game -- Madea-fy It!

-The guys insert Madea into classic films like "Star Wars," "Fiddler on the Roof," "Jurassic Park," "Goldfinger," and "The Artist."

   Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_70.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:12pm EDT

Here comes part two of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" to close out the old year and ring in the new. Now they, and guests George and Nicole, share their individual highs and lows for the year before playing one more round of their game, the Gut Check Challenge. Happy 2014, everybody.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 69 includes:

-Ben, Nate, Nicole, and George recap their Top 10 films of 2013, Bottom 5, and some unerrated and overrated movies. Surprise: lots of "Frozen" and "Her" and "Short Term 12" love. No surprise: lots of "InAPPropriate Comedy" hate. Lots.

-You may see George in "Fast and Furious 7"... if there is a God.

-Eric makes a return visit to dish out his own Top 10/Bottom 5 for the year.

-This Week's Game -- Gut Check Challenge!

-The gang plays another round of the Gut Check Challenge, where they have to outbid one another with how many movies they can name starring the same actor. 

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_69.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:28pm EDT

We're counting down the hours to the end of 2013, and so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reviewing the highs and lows for the year in film with special guests George and Nicole (a girl!). The podcast was lengthy so it's been split in two parts. The first half is an examination on some news items and reviewing recent movies watched, and in Part Two the top/bottom lists will be shared along with the game. Stay tuned in the next couple days for the second half of the 2013 recap.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 68 includes:

-The crazy "Out of the Furnace" lawsuit might force every future movie bad guy/bad influence to be named after Aaron. A. Aaronson. Also: "Duck Dynasty" update.

-Learn how "Mandela" violated George's two primary rules of movies.

-Ben and George appreciate "Dallas Buyers Club" for its realistic lack of change for its protagonist.

-Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt sound like a Muppet to you? Welcome to George's world.

-"Lone Survivor": way to spoil the movie, film title!

-Do movie accents really matter? Can we just do away with them?

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_68.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:42pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are preparing for Christmas by pitching Biblical movies. After all they did pitch pagan god-related projects, so now it's Christianity's turn in the spotlight. Tis the season for a holiday edition of This Meets That as the game this week. Happy holidays everyone, and be good to one another.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 67 includes:

-So what's the deal with this "Duck Dynasty" first ammendment controversy that everyone can't stop talking about in the media? What do the ducks think?

-If you're a fan of "Anchorman" then you'll pretty much enjoy "Anchorman 2."

-Ben wishes "Don Jon" was a long-awaited sequel to "Angels in the Outfield."

-"American Hustle" is David O. Russell with a Scorsese filter. Enjoy the copious amount of Amy Adams side boob.

-The guys all talk about Spike Jonze's "Her" and agree it's one of the best films of 2013.

-This Week's Pitch -- Biblical Movies!

-Ben pitches a satire where a pregnant teen falsey claims to have been the recpient of an "immaculate conception" to avoid upsetting her religious parents.

-Eric pitches Jesus making a surprise appeareance at a political convention that assume his positions on the issues of the day.

-Nate pitches a retelling of Sampson and Delilah looking at things from her point of view as well as an actual examination on Sodom and Gomorrah and what really brought about its smiting (hint: nothing to do with the gays).

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That - Holiday Edition!

-The guys play a game combining two random movie titles into a new property, plus giving them a dash of holiday cheer.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_67.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:47pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back with another week of raw podcastin', giving you the unedited recording with some extra podcast goodness. This week, for the Christmas season, the guys are pitching different applications of their favorite Christmas film, "Die Hard." It's a week of "Die Hard" in a... pitches. The game this week is another new try-out, Aslyum-Ize, where the guys try and come up with low-rent knockoffs to some of the biggest box-office hits of 2013.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 66 includes:

-Remember gettin' nasty with a calculator? Relive the upside down memories of childhood.

-Nate thinks the Coen's "Inside Llewyn Davis" is another winner, but if you don't care for folk music, you may be out of luck. And despite the name, no anal probing.

-Eric says "Saving Mr. Banks" is two movies for the price of one, though he'd prefer less of the drunken father in the Outback. More whimsical Tom Hanks as Walt Disney, please.

-Ben and Nate reveal their wounds having watched "A Madea Christmas" on opening day. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Die Hard in a...!

-Eric pitches "Die Hard" in a museum without power and a professor thrown into the mix.

-Nate pitches "Die Hard" in an art museum with Nazi swiss bank account numbers hidden under paintings.

-Ben pitches "Die Hard" in a WWII camp, zombie apocalypse, and an orgy.

-This Week's Game -- Asylum-Ize It!

-The guys play a new game, following the production company Asylum's M.O. and knocking off Hollywood hits. the guys come up with their own cheap knockoffs for "World War Z," "Fast and the Furious," "Man of Steel," and, "Gravity."

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_66.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:07pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting a bit longer in the next few weeks as they experiment in their presentation. They're experimenting with an unedited recording, so the running time is going to balloon a bit. With that extra time, the guys run through a lot of recent news involving superhero films, pitch post-apocalyptic young adult stories, and then the game this week is Disney-fying some of the most famous post-apocalyptic films.

Also available on iTunes!

Epsiode 65 includes:

-We talk about our experiment in being raw for the next few weeks. Enjoy the sudden appearance of lots of "umm"s.

-Superhero news explosion: Wonder Woman cast into "Batman vs. Superman" a.k.a. "Justice League: Backdoor Pilot."

-Ben thinks "Violet & Daisy" is like a Tarantino/Wes Anderson turducken. Just imagine that.

-Nate says "All is Lost" is like The Old Man and the Sea without the fish, and it's just as boring.

-"Frozen" may be the best Disney animated film since the 1990s. It's that good, and it's finally a female friendly message.

-This Week's Pitch -- Dystopias with Kid POV!

-Ben pitches a world where parents upload themselves into the bodies/minds of their children once they reach maturity. That's right, you will become your mother.

-Eric pitches a world where children are custom designed, but when you need more "blonde hair/blue eyes" they have to cull the genes from the poor.

-Nate pitches a world of overpopulation where second children are hunted down.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-The guys Disney-fy post-apocalyptic films like "Soylent Green," "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome," and "The Hunger Games."

Direct download: pitch_650.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:54pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had previously recorded a Halloween special but are now making up for the lost episode, so it's Halloween in December! The guys are pitching Stephen King adaptations and/or remakes, and then they play another round of Porno-Ize It with King's many movies. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 64 includes:

-What happened to Episode 62? Oh, and check out the guys' short film "The Red Menace."

-"Planes" is the confirmation tat the "Cars" films exist in a horrible, post-apocalyptic world after humans have destroyed themselves or the machines have risen up.

-"The Counselor" proves that not all seductive humping of windshields are made equal.

-Eric and Nate disagree with Ben over "Thor 2," which leads to much thunder.

-Are the Hunger Games the worst part of "The Hunger Games" series?

-This Week's Pitch -- Stephen King adaptation/remake!

-Eric pitches a anthology series exploring "The Shining"'s Overlook hotel through the decades.

-Nate pitches the adaptation of the dystopian teen deadly TV competition, "The Hunger..." err "The Long Walk." In the time it took to read that sentence, it's probably been optioned.

-Ben pitches adaptions of short stories "Survivor Type," "Beach World," and a tale of a man cursed by Stephen King stories coming to life.

-This Week's Game -- Porno-Ize It!

-The guys, but mostly Ben and Nate, take a Stephen King film from each decade (70s/80s/90s/00s) and turn it into an absurd porn parody. Also, was "The Langoliers" really all that bad?

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_64.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:54pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are making due for a grave omission in their podcast sub-series looking at the works of a single director. Arguably the most popular director of his generation, Steven Spielberg's films are discussed as a whole, his penchant for sentimentality, his bold imaginations, and the guys favorite and least favorite films. They discuss changes over his career, including E.T.'s walky talky controversy, resonating themes, and where Spielberg stands today. 

Direct download: spielberg.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 12:10pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a look back into the past, exploring the religions of old for material for pitches. In honor of the Thor sequel, they're pitching movies of TV shows based upon pre-Christian religions/cultures/mythology. As for the game, Eric take his turn as Game Master for another round of Triple Titles.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 63 includes:

-Blockbuster is officially dead. Did you know it still existed? Well, it did.

-"Blackfish" shows all you need is a BA and being able to swim to work at SeaWorld. Also, humans suck.

-"Hellbenders" is like Ghostbusters as done by Kevin Smith. If you like things dark, check it out.

-Ben laments why there cannot be magic in "Thor: The Dark World," conveniently ignoring the pressence of Kat Dennings.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pre-Christian Religion!

-Nate pitches a body swap film between a normal human being and the Greek party god, Dionysis. Also, comical goat transformation.

-Eric pitches a prequel to the book "What in God's Name?" about God consolidating the other older gods, and a fantasy tailored for Ben's tastes.

-Ben pitches an apocalypse-palooza, an artist that kills so his muse will inspire his works, a Dr. Frankenstein who wants to recreate Greek creatures like centaurs.

-This Week's Game -- Triple Titles!

-With Eric as Game Master, Nate and Ben are given three pairs of actors and have to connect the movie titles.
Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_63.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:47pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back from their break, and they're here to test out a new batch of games for their show. No pitch this week but they try out three new games and encourage the listeners to play along. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 61 includes:

-Learn who the winner/loser is of the Madea Bowl and will see "Madea's Family Christmas" with Ben. Perhaps they'll be inspired, "Oogieloves"-style.

-"Prisoners" asks the eternal question, "Who doesn't want to punch Paul Dano in the face?"

-"Escape From Tomorrow" is David Lynch's Disney vacation video. But is it worth watching?

-The guys are all across the board on their reception to zero-gravity thriller "Gravity."

-Can the ghost of George Clooney be even more handsome?

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game(s) -- New Game Tryouts!

-Ben plays Game Master and the gang tries new games for the show: "That Meets This," "Triple Titles," and "Role Reversal." Challenge yourself and play along.

         Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_61.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59pm EDT

Minus Eric, two thirds of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" brave Scotland's first homegrown CGI animated film, 2013's "Sir Billie." The movie is also known as actor Sean Connery's last film, since he has declared he is retired. Listen as Ben and Nate try and make sense out of a skateboardin' grandpa trying to rally his small town to save the last beaver in Scotland. And that's just the part that sort of makes sense. The brazen incoherence is analyzed, as well as Connery's sleepwalking performance, the obsession over beavers, what should and shouldn't be in a kid's film, and also an opening discussion on the social contract one is entered upon crossing the borders of Michigan. Try hard not to feel sad for Connery.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: sir_billie.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 1:05pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are back with another in depth analysis of a director, this time "Man of Steel" and "300" director Zack Snyder. The guys take turns sharing their favorite and least favorite Snyder movies, talk about the visual hallmarks of Snyder's style, question his connection to material as well as his use of onscreen violence, and then kick around ideas they'd like to see Snyder tackle next. Note: this was recorded before the news of a "Batman vs. Superman" sequel to "Man of Steel," though some of us already predicted something similar.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: zack_snyder.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 3:58pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are bidding goodbye to this summer season at the movies. The pitches this week are how to fix a slew of summer movies and then that leads into an extended discussion over the summer as a whole at the cinema.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 60 includes:

-A preview of new Fall TV shows to look forward to. Ben loses his head for "Sleepy Hollow."

-Nate watches his first Tyler Perry movie, with expected results.

-"The Family" and "Thanks for Sharing" both suffer tonal identity crises.

-Riddick is so cool he can reform lesbians with the power of his coolness. Expect him on the "700 Club" payroll soon.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fix a Summer Movie!

-Eric fixes "Man of Steel" and "After Earth."

-Ben fixes "Elysium," "You're Next," and "Riddick."

-Nate fixes "After Earth" and "The Hangover Part III."

-Bonus Discussion -- Summer 2013: Best, Worst, Disappointments

-The gang discuss in-depth the summer as a whole, their favorites, and why there were so many disappointments this year.

Direct download: pitch_60.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:20pm EDT

Get your tap shoes ready because the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking a long look at movie musicals. They pitch musicals and then play a special edition of This Meets That combining musicals.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 59 includes:

-"50 Shades of Grey" casting news! Now you have faces for all that dry-humping.

-Nate had a great alchy double-feature with "The World's End" and "The Spectacular Now."

-"Twixt": evidence you should probably not make a movie based upon a dream unless your name is David Lynch.

-The 48 hour film fest short "Cordless" actually won awards! Go watch it again!

-This Week's Pitch -- Musical!

-Nate pitches a behind-the-scenes look at the terrible Broadway musical of "Carrie," and a world where people have one song-and-dance number they can leap into by choice.

-Eric pitches a KISS jukebox musical where they save Christmas AND Detroit, and a jukebox musical for the Bare Naked Ladies.

-Ben pitches a They Might Be Giants concept fantasy, a "John is Dead" conspiracy thriller, and time travel via listening to music.

-The guys discuss their favorite musicals and what makes a good movie musical.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That: Musical Edition!

-The guys make pitches based upon randomly drawn movies and one randomly drawn musical.

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_59.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:54pm EDT

The Internet exploded over Miley Cyrus and Ben Affleck, and so the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are on the case. The guys are pitching invasion properties in light of "You're Next" and "The World's End," and they've saved the Batfleck talk for the end, envisioning a DC cinematic universe in a game of Pre-Cast It. Along the way they talk about topics such as "Full House" as a home invasion thriller, the power of Urkel, what the VMAs are supposed to be awarding anyway, Ben's sock metric for enjoying music videos, your priorities when given a time machine (hint: kill Hitler first), "Ghost Shark" vs. "Sharknado," lovemaking inside a shark's belly, quesitons about sperm bank donation requirements, sock babies, the healing strength of Nicole Kidman's urine in "The Paperboy," alien fornication to save the species, the credibility problems of a Wonder Woman movie, why Aquaman could murder everyone, and why the public only cares about Batman and Superman.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 58 includes:

-Miley Cyrus twerked and the world went mad. Also: the guys' short film makes the BEST OF screening for the 48 hour film fest.

-Is a powerful third act in "Fruitvale Station" enough to justify the first two acts?

-"You're Next" will make you re-evaluate the full uses of common kitchen appliances.

-"The World's End" may be the best movie of the Cornetto Trilogy. Ben and Eric go into geek gasms.

This Week's Pitch -- Invasion Film/Series!

-Ben pitches aliens taking over a tenement building and an adult "Home Alone" as a spooky Norman Bates-type nutball. Don't go in there, Joe Pesci!

-Eric pitches a reamke of "Two Minute Drill" and samurai and ninjas vs. aliens.

-Nate pitches an outpost on the edge of Rome's crumbling empire having to fight together to thwart invaders.

-This Week's Game -- Pre-Cast It!

-Taking off from Ben Affleck as Batman, the guys cast the rest of the Justice League (Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter) before speculating about a future DC movie universe. They are not optimistic.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_58.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:59pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are getting a jump on Presidents Day and pitching movies and other properties revolving around real-life or fictional presidents. Then they play their game of Vanity Project to develop and spitball a biopic for the current commander in chief, Barack Obama. Along the way they talk about topics like the sexiness of certain numbers, cake vs. pie, the short-lived Tom Arnold Apology Tour, straying from the facts with true stories, the ridiculous twist ending of "Safe Haven," the reality of an Oprah sex scene somewhere on the cutting room floor, the better lodging in heaven for people who are more liked, the Marilyn Monroebot, Ben's mother's experience on a political focus group during the 2008 election, the fallacy of electing candidates who promise to make government worse, the rule that ALL Canadians get free Timbits at any Tim Horton's, a mini-series on presidential losers, and the collective ignorance over currently working black directors.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 57 includes:

-Eric has finally watched his Netflix Steaming Streaming challenge punishment -- "Autumn in New York." Coming up next: Tom Arnold.

-Ben tears apart "Elysium" as well as the notion of President Hobo.

-"Kick-Ass 2" deserves so much more of Jim Carrey. "Hell Baby" has extensive nude scenes and baby punching, so, just right.

-Ben and Nate deabte whether "Lee Dainels' The Butler" is a bad biopic or a subversive anti-biopic.

-This Week's Pitch -- Presidential movies!

-Nate pitches a Roosevelt corssover and a group of juvenile delinquents vs. killer animatronic presidents. 

-Eric pitches... Kid President! So, how mnay other people died in the line of succession? And "The Grey" but with Teddy Roosevelt and big sticks.

-Ben pitches Nixon as a secret woman, a president kidnapped and replaced by a doppleganger, and a film all about one climactic presidential debate.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys try and think out different film narratives and biopic casting for our 44th president, Barack Obama. They even have fun thinking of the "crazy fringe" version of the man's life.

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_57.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:32pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches"are looking into the future with their pitches this week, sci-fi future worlds, and with the state of Hollywood filmmaking. There's a lot to talk about.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 56 includes:

-The guys reflect upon their exeprience in this year's 48 Hour Film Fest. Watch their short "Cordless" HERE. You'll never think of extension dennis cords the same way.

-"The Canyons" just makes you feel sad all over. And that's with Lindsay Lohan nudity.

-The one problem with "The Way, Way Back": not enough cliches?

-"2 Guns" has way more guns than that. Also, "Elysium" is many things but subtle it ain't. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Horrible Sci-fi Future Worlds!

-Nate pitches a world where tehcnology has destroyed our face-to-face communication.

-Eric pitches a world overpopulated with people who cannot die. Plus get a load of "Worm Women."

-Ben pitches a world overrun by evil puppets, and a scary future built upon the conservative warnings about what legalizing gay mariage will do to the country.

-Bonus Discussion -- Future of Hollywood Blockbusters?

-The guys have an in-depth conversation on the future of the big-budget Hollywood movie, the costs of doing blockbuster business, the concept of ticket sales changing to reflect audience interest, and whether we're heading for an implosion.

        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_56.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT

In honor of the new Batman/Superman news fresh from Comicon, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches"are crossing over different characters and properties. They pitch crossover movies and then play another round of one of their newer games, Versus, pitting similar characters or agencies against one another. Along the way they talk about a classic Robert Loggia TV advertisement, the appeal of Cinemax in the 90s, our choices for a possible Batman, the sin of gluten, the unintelligible nature of Jeff Bridges' speaking voice, the prevalence of deer breaking and entering according to "Grown Ups 2," Ben's hatred of Ryan Gosling's non-acting, the alarming penetrability of Japan's bullet trains, the Pixar Universe theory combining all the studio's movies into one timeline, angels vs. aliens, and a Hugh Jackman-off.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 55 includes:

-Kevin Smith comes out of retirement for the weirdest project you can imagine.

-Batman vs. Superman in 2015? After "Man of Steel," do we still have hope?

-"R.I.P.D." is D.O.A. when it comes to entertainment.

-Enjoy the insightful metaphor of a deer peeing in Adam Sandler's face in "Grown Ups 2."

-"The Wolverine" is perfectly adequate, which means it could have been much worse.

-This Week's Pitch -- Crossovers!

-Eric pitches the solution to Detroit's woes: Axel Foley and his new partner, Robocop.

-Ben pitches an all-Rock affair, Avengers vs. Uma Thurman's Avengers, and how "Cool World" and "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" represent heaven and hell.

-Nate pitches the Halloween creatures from "Nightmare Before Christmas" working with the monsters of "Monsters Inc."

-This Week's Game -- Versus!

-The guys pit Ryan Reynolds' Green Lantern vs. Deadpool, the R.I.P.D. vs. the M.I.B., and Hugh Jackman's Van Helsing vs. The Wolverine.

            Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_55.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:17pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are pitching the most outlandish Rocky sequels possible for fun. Then they play another rendition of This Meets That for their game. Along the way they talk about Ben's confusion with his mother, Internet TV breaking through into Emmys, the awesomeness of "Sharknado," battling a Sharknado with a Sharkicane, Ben's disenchantment with the masses dumbing down the things he'd love, President Carl Weathers, the difference between ironic racist humor and simply racist humor, Hitler's lack of involvement in "InAPPropriate Comedy," the many statues of Rocky Balboa, a Human Centipede Christmas, and listening to the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" on your Roku and on your TV now (soundtrack to your lovemaking).

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 54 includes:

-2013 Emmy nomination discussion: Do they matter? Do voters get in ruts? Did "Monk" deserve 876 Emmys?

-"Pacific Rim" unleashes your inner ten-year-old.

-Do all underdogs really deserve to win?

-Ben feels that "InAPPropriate Comedy" may very well be the worst comedy... of all time. It makes Ben think back fondly on "Movie 43."

-This Week's Pitch -- Crazy Rocky Sequel!

-Eric pitches a Rocky who tries to cheer up his son through spectacluar image sabotage.

-Nate pitches Rocky vs. Giant Monsters in the future and Rocky vs. the War on Terror.

-Ben pitches a "Rocky"/"Demolition Man" hybrid. Rocky teaches future cops how to punch people IN THE FACE.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The guys randomly select two movies and try and combine them into a new property.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_54.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:38pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches," reunited, are going to go to a sad, sad place. They pitch the saddest movies they can think of then play a game of Disney-fy It to turn some unhappy ending frowms upside down. Along the way the guys talk about other subjects like the historical context of Steely Dan, hiding Ringo Starr in a dark place, why underdogs don't always deserve to win, "Spring Breakers" vs. "The Master" for hardest movie to watch, Paul Feig's connection to "Heavyweights," how staying through the end credits can bite you in the end, when the hero gets in his own way, Drew Carey's connection to the Zodiac killer, a new way of viewing the Trail of Tears, and Ben's hand replacement experiment.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 53 includes:

-Do you know what a limp biscuit is? You'll wish you didn't.

-Is the "Monsters University" alma mater theme the same as "Every Sperm is Sacred"?

-"Despicable Me 2" all depends on your love/hate relationship with the Minions.

-"The Lone Ranger" should have been retitled "Tonto in the West," and it might have been a better movie too.

-This Week's Pitch -- Saddest Movie!

-Nate pitches a man forced to live multiple lifetimes, watching his beloved grow old and die, until he meets his one soulmate.

-Eric pitches a mom with cancer, a son with autism, and servicemen losing their family.

-Ben pitches a sad squirrel tale, looking back on a life of dog ownership, saying goodbye to a loved one pinned to death, and the unrequited romance of gay marriage before DOMA was rescinded.

-Bonus Discussion: Films that made/make us cry. Yep, that one's on there. And that.

-This Week's Game -- Disney-fy It!

-The guys apply happy endings to "Bambi," "Marley and Me," and "Terms of Endearment."

  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_53.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:10pm EDT

Minus Eric, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome George and pitch movie prequels. They then play another round of their game This Meets That. Along the way they talk about George's transformation into an angry old man, Gene Hackman's last film -- "Welcome to Mooseport," Pink Floyd/"Wizard of Oz"-stye pairings to other movies ("Eyes Wide Shut" and Weird Al?), George-rated film edits his family would make, how to cancel out cunnilingus-accrued throat cancer, every sequel having a prequel, Halloween Town's relation to the afterlife, suspension of disbelief with casting, the general ineptness of the vice presidents combined, and a breast obsessed killer.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 52 includes:

-"Taken 3" is happening... to a nursing home near you! Plus: George says Liam Neeson + punchin' things = his ticket bought.

-George says "Hangover III" is his favorite "Hangover" movie.

-"Room 237" takes you into the exhausting minds of obsessive conspiracy folk. Sometimes a binder is just a binder, people.

-"Monsters University": Why set a children's movie at a college? Why even have a prequel?

-This Week's Pitch -- Prequels!

-Nate pitches a "Social Network" prequel -- "Friendster," plus a prequel to "Memento" that might be a... sequel?

-George pitches a prequel with Snake Plissken and "Sky Lieutenant and the World of Today."

-Ben pitches prequels to "Predator," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and Stephen King's "It."

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-Another round of movie combination pitches, including Obama fighting all the former zombie presidents and a slasher killer very particular about cup size.
  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_52.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:07pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are faster than speeding bullets, more powerful than... well, you know the drill. they catch up on movies seen, spending plenty of time talking about the new "Man of Steel" Superman film, then they pitch superhero team projects, then play a double game of Recast It and Re-Direct It for "Man of Steel."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 51 includes:

-Who else is going to turn a in memorium of James Gandolfini to talk about a cursed Eskimo movie?

-"After Earth" is just about the worst sci-fi has to offer. THEY SMELL FEAR! But can they see?

-Google. "The Internship" (Google) brought to you by Google. Google.

-"Man of Steel": A dark Superman? Dad wants to let kids to die? Millions of dead innocents? Thanks Christopher Nolan.

-This Week's Pitch -- Superhero Teams!

-Eric pitches the "Billion Dollar Franchise": Wolverine, Hulk, and Batman.

-Ben pitches several of his own superheroes including post-apocalyptic super teens and a group of undead heroes.

-Nate pitches a "Misfits"-style show with delinquents who remain delinquents with super powers.

-This Week's Game --Recast it! and Re-Direct It!

-The guys take a crack recast and re-direct "Man of Steel."

  Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_51.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:17pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" found a subject that will finally appeal to their senses: women being converted into bee-esque killers who murder men through exhaustive sexual activity. The 1973 exploitation film, at one time called "Graveyard Tramps," is actually written by Nicholas Meyer, the man who would later write "Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan" and "Fatal Attraction." So yeah. You can watch the movie via Netflix instant streaming and make sure to synch up your audio. Enjoy the guys discussion over the particulars of Jack-and-Jill style hill-rolling copulation, an Ernest porn parody, coroners with ascots, ignorance of bee biology, and lots of discussion over the 1970s being covered in certain fluids.

Listen away! Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: invasion_of_the_bee_girls.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 6:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating 50 shows and in honor of "After Earth" and the upcoming Father's Day, they pitch father/son combo movie projects and then Porno-Ize M. Night Shyamalan's career. Along the way they talk about topics such as an undercover bear, Gay Oedipus, how truly terrible "Hemlock Grove" is, the 8-second threshold for Ben's entertainment, the secret murderer status of fathers that put their kids in public schools, Nate's irritation with Anna Kendrick's character in "Pitch Perfect," the longest runway in the world in "Fast and Furious 6," Vin Diesel and enunciation, Ben comparing Baz Lurhmann to Charles Oppenheimer, being serious like a farmer, why Zelda should not be legendary, ghosts getting it on with one another, and changing our concepts of sexuality if everyone on Earth cannot stop defecating.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 50 includes:

-Binge TV: The new model? Are we romanticizing the once-a-week delivery? Why do we still have Nielsen ratings?

-"Fast and the Furious 6" is certainly not for Ben and Nate but they'll take it.

-Who in the world is "The Hangover Part III" for? Answer: nobody.

-Ben doesn't even like "The Great Gatsby" novel but feels the need to defend it against the Baz Lurhmann movie.

-This Week's Pitches -- Father/Son Projects!

-Ben pitches a "Die Hard" with McClane's pop and a series following the illegitimate kids of a James Bond-like super spy.

-Nate pitches a father/son buddy cop movie and a sequel to "Hitch" with Will and Jaden Smith.

-Eric pitches a fantasy epic in the "Legend of Zelda" and a revolutionary struggle revolving around chess. 

-This Week's Game -- Porno-Ize It!

-The guys take the career of M. Night Shyamalan and adapt each of the man's movies into a porn parody.

      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_50.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:30pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have two guests, Drew and Liz, and together they all try and come up with the cheesiest, silliest, awesom-est Sci-Fi Channle Original movies. They then play another game of This Meets That. Along the way the group talks about other strange topics like Drew's grandmother-esque satisfaction that people are "getting work," the difficulty of killing people with emblems, more equaling more than none, the prospect that for $5K Bruce Campbell will do anything, Ben's disappointment over Chloe Grace Moretz's legal status, the difference between a Mega Bear and a Super Bear, the logistics of attaching eight squids together a.k.a. Octo-Squid, the Anti-Monster Defamation League, Renee Zellweger playing a shark, Stoneado, a 4th of July-themed movie with haunted fireworks from the ghostly ashes of those British loyalists burned at the stake post-Revolution, Liz's fascination with weather born from STDs, Corey Hart vs. vampires, and what Liz will do for a good piece of steak.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 49 includes:

-The guys discuss the movies they're most looking forward to this summer (hint: not "Hangover 3").

-Eric talks about the pet drama "Haichi," a movie that will make you smash your TV in tears.

-Ben shares his new favorite movie of all time -- "Manborg"!

-"Star Trek Into Darkness": In summary... KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

-This Week's Pitch -- Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie!

-Eric pitches a super bear brawl and a classic Universal monsters MMA bout.

-Liz pitches the adventures of Thunder Shark and his... sonic hearing.

-Ben pitches the epic showdown: Zoo Storm vs. Laser Quake! Just when you thought you were safe...

-Nate pitches a weather-related disaster about a tornado that plows through a series of Port-a-Potties. Guess what it's called.

-Drew pitches aliens fighting direwolves.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-The gang plays another round of combining two random movies into a viable pitch.
      Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_49.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:27pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recovering from 2010's woefully misguided adaptation of the classic tale, The Nutcracker. Add some Nazi rats, John Turturro looking like Andy Warhol, some strange messages, Albert Einstein, some strange songs, some unfortunate dancing, and too much Holocaust imagery, and you've got a terrible idea and a terrible execution of a holiday classic. The guys try and make sense of the film, wonder how dark a children's movie can get, and question why Einstein would make a good babysitter.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: nutcracker.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 10:31pm EDT

In the absence of Eric, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are graced with the presence of a special celebrity guest, musician/actor Tom Waits. In honor of the big-budget "Great Gatsby," the gang pitch adaptations of books that they hated in high school. The game this week is then coming up with a fitting projecy for prolific director Michael Bay. Along the way the guys talk about stuff like seeing Rosie O'Donnell in her "Exit to Eden" outfit at all times, the scientific combination of Stanley Tucci and Stacey Keach, Tom Waits' wordy and bloody calling card, the real flow of bals with Mr. Bucket, Tom Waits studying for Boo Radley, Nazi rats and singing Einstein, the confusion of Shakespeare's ownership, Hamlet getting nasty with poor Yorrick, sympathy for Dr. Frankenstein, and a cross between "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Night Rider."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 48 includes:

-Tom Waits enlightens us with his wisdom and perspective and vague hobo threats.

-Ben loves "Pain and Gain" and thinks it's the top movie of 2013 for now.

-On the flipside, Ben tlaks about a movie that left him speechless -- "The Nutcracker in 3D."

-"Great Gatsby": loses the subtext but upps the jazz hands.

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a Book You Hated in High School!

-Tom Waits pitches a new way to make students fear Shakespeare like never before.

-Nate pitches "Lord of the Flies" with women. This should end well.

-Ben pitches different takes on "Frankenstein" and a radical adaptation of "The Grapes of Wrath."

-Bonus pitch: the gang pitches movies their repsective mothers would enjoy.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The trio pitch a movie that would be suitable for the skills of director Michael Bay.

    Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_48.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:18pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are takin' ya out to the ballgame, peanuts, cracker jacks, you know the drill. This week's theme is sports movies, and the guys take turns pitching their ownsports movies and then a sports related round of Defend Yourself. Along the way the guys also talk about Jesus quesadillas, throwing children down stairs to replicate the success indicated in "Rookie of the Year," the lingering and misguided effects of a children's show about genocide, historical based ratings, the question of "Star Trek" holodeck sexual fantasies, Lola Bunny educating young boys into future furries, "Latvia" vs. "Latvaria," Tony Scott directing movies from the afterlife, and wheelchair mountain climbing.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 47 includes:

-Is there a "fecal miracles" specialty in the Vatican Miracles Investigations Department?

-Nate says "Mud" is the best film he's seen so far this year.

-"Pain and Gain": when is excess too excessive? Michael Bay will find out.

-"Iron Man 3" leads Ben to another angry tirade mostly about the handling of The Mandarin

-We actually have a winner of the Netflix Steaming Streaming Challenge!

-This Week's Pitch -- Sports Movie!

-Eric pitches a soltuion for Cleveland's sports misery: exorcising the demons responsible for their many sports woes (Damn you, Moses Cleveland and your deal with the devil!).

-Nate pitches a sincere movie about a girls soccer team in Afghanistan and the danger of the Taliban.

-Ben pitches a time-traveling version of Treasure Buddies, some sports video game adaptations, and the Harlem Globetrotters cartoon.

-This Week's Game -- Defend Yourself!

-Eric defends his love of "Space Jam" and Ben defends "Loonatics Unleashed" and "Rookie of the Year."

-The guys share their favorite sports movies and what makes a good sports movie.
        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_47.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:17pm EDT

In Eric's absence, Ben and Nate watched and then recorded their stunned reactions to the Full Moon Pictures' horror release, "Ooga Booga," about a killer African stereotype doll inhabited with the spirit of a slain black man. Yeah, you better believe it's pretty racist. Nate and Ben discuss the most outrageous moments and elements from the movie while also discussing the fine line between ironic commentary on race and sloppy shock value. Stacy Keach, what are you doing in this garbage? Also, for the racist in your family, make sure you collect the whole set of culturally insensitive dolls the movie trots out, which it is literally selling. Good God. And that's just scratching the surface with this movie.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: ooga_booga.mp3
Category:What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- posted at: 4:36pm EDT

It's an assembly for the ages, where the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have reached out to frequent guests George, Drew, and Chris Holben for the purposes of one great brainstorm session to come up with a sequel for Ridley Scott's "Prometheus." Afterwards, they play a big game of the Gut-Check Challenge. Along the way they tlak about Katherine Hepburn's incontinence, Jar Jar Binks as the Falstaff of the "Star Wars" universe, Jeffrey Jones' legal troubles, Adele's suicide note put to song winning an Oscar, making a computer to scale from a cocktail napkin (thanks "Superman III"), moving one's affections from Kathy Ireland to Wallace Shawn, judging movies via their posters, the logistics of having sex if you're a creature made of eyes, why the scientists in "Prometheus" are the stupidest people ever, the seventh best David Lynch movie, and the overall collective ignorance of female anatomy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 46 includes:

-George turns back time via flying backwards and has a lot of things to say about "Superman" and Richard Donner's "Superman II."

-We got nostalgia for everything: "Mom and Dad Save the World," "Power Rangers"

-The Adele/Robert Goulet-as-Adele impressions will not stop, thank you very much.

-"Oblivion": derivitive but it's got Tom Cruise and explosions, so good.

-This Week's Pitch -- 'Prometheus' Sequel!

-The collective brainstorm a natural sequel for Ridley Scott's "Alien" prequel, since the man himself needs the help.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-Six men out-bid one another to see who can name the most movies starring selected actors. You may be surprised by the eventual winner. 

       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_46.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome two guests, returning show mascot Chris Holben and Ben's mother. They go back to previous pitches and take another shot at them, and then the game this week is replaced with a bonus discussion over various fantasy worlds they consider entering. Along the way they also cover such topics like defiling Pinhead's puzzle box, the posibility of a Kickstarter to have Ben udnergo gender reassignment surgery, Ben's mother as a shape-shifter, the cross-gender "Cloud Atlas" porn parody, how should one watch a movie musical, the importance of pubic hair according to "Trance," the modern-day Ruffio, Ben's desire to become a bully against hobbits and munchkins, the unnatural hormonal reactions to the witches in Disney's "Hocus Pocus,"  and Ben's mother's admission that she's looking for tips on time travel to stop the birth of Ben.

Epsiode 45 includes:

-Guess what the guys suggest to do with a mystery box? Hint: It later involves a mystery baby.

-Welcome thousands of new downloaders... or a few guys data-mining our catalog of shows.

-"42" is a movie with just the right amount of racism.

-Ben unexpectedly loves "Rock of Ages" and "Amour" and challenges Nate.

-"Temptation": Unequivocal proof that Tyler Perry hates women.

-This Week's Pitch -- Pitch Redemption III!

-Chris Holben pitches his epic dragon fantasy as well as a TV show for "Van Helsing."

-Eric pitches an American version of "Dr. Who" with Ben as the companion!

-Ben pitches a trio of holiday-themed horror movies including living snow.

-Nate pitches a Western based upon a Chinese laborer who becomes a small-town sheriff.

-Bonus Discussion -- Fantasy Worlds!

-The gang debates what fantasy worlds they would want to enter: Narnia, Camelot, Neverland, Wonderland, Middle Earth, Westeros, Hogwarts, and... the Netherlands.

                Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_45.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:05pm EDT

The guys are back with a pitch this week and plenty of them. The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking another crack at adapting movies into TV properties and then they play another round of the easy-to-play game, This Meets That. Along the way they confuse "Meet the Peebles" and "Meet the Feebles" and "Meet the Deedles," memories with Siskel and Ebert, Ben's arson inspiration from Billy Joel and how criminals trip up confessing wrongdoing through song, GIANT SPACE RODS, Ben's grandfather turning on Julie Andrews after she went topless in a movie, the terror of Canadian fascist aliens, Killer Klown apocalypses, and somehow the memory of the little-seen "Terms of Endearment" sequel, "The Evening Star."

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 44 includes:

-The guys pay their repsects to film critic and influence, Roger Ebert.

-Ben's stance on "G.I. Joe: Retaliation": They might as well be making love to the guns.

-"The Host": The fate of the world rests on one annoying teenager's love triangle.

-The aliens can conquer space travel but not contact lenses?

-This Week's Pitch -- Adapt a Movie to TV Series!

-Nate pitches a different take on the upcoming "World War Z."

-Eric pitches many things, including "Django Unchained," "Paul," and "Hobo with a Shotgun"

-Ben pitches several concepts like a demonic "Alien Nation"-style buddy cop series, and a John McClane saves-the-day-a-week show.

-This Week's Game -- This Meets That!

-They replay another batch of wild combinations of two different movie properties.

Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_44.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:56pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" had a great idea, to watch the lowest-grossing wide release film of all time, "The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure." It'll be fun, they reasoned. Oh how wrong they were. Recording minutes after finishing that awful children's movie, the guys unleash their thoughts and reflections, trying to make sense of what will never make sense. If you've ever wanted to know what this movie was about, or what makes it... special, then this podcast will be enlightening and entertaining. Next week, they swear they'll have an actual pitch.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 43 includes:

-Two sad bits of news: the demise of "Poddammit" and the passing of "Pie in the Sky's" Richard Griffiths

-"Spring Breakers": If Terrence Malick made an exploitation film, this would be it.

-"Come Out and Play": Can a bad movie be saved by three minutes of cathartic (evil) child-killing?

-Ben finds the caveman version of Emma Stone to be... stirring.

-New Segment -- What the Hell Did We Just Watch? -- "The Oogieloves Movie"

-Meet the movie that officially broke Ben. He is a ruined man.

-Milkshake drinking contests, gassy birds, quadriplegic pillows, bad messages for children, and you can even watch Cary Elwes soul die HERE.

-Is Wendy the Window really an evil force purposely trapped in a window pane and manipulating others to be free? And how long before J. Edgar Hoover tries to make a move on her? What did I just write?

-Your kids deserve better, parents and exclusive Wal-Mart shoppers.

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_43.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:07pm EDT

And now here's part two of the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" one-year anniversary special. The guys take on an extended edition of their game Court of Public Opinion, wherein two of the Sons of Pitches face off with a disagreement they've had over the course of 40 previous podcasts. There may not be another podcast after how things play out with this one. Remember: these guys are friends.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 42 includes:

-This Week's Game -- Court of Public Opinion!

-Ben vs. Eric: The quality of "The Avengers"

-Nate vs. Ben: The quality of an actress that Jennifer Lawrence is.

-Eric vs. Nate: The quality of the film "Superman Returns."

          Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_42.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:20pm EDT

It's been a whole year since the world has known the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" podcast, and we'd like to think it's been a better world since. To mark the occasion, the guys are expanding their game of Court of Public Opinion to rehash some of the bigger disagreements during that one year. Each Son of Pitch will square off against another at one point. But because the podcast went so long, they've split them up into two separate episodes. Expect the next one, covering the actual game, to be released later this week.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 41 includes:

-One year later... it's all downhill from here.

-"Veronica Mars" on Kickstarter: the start of a trend or a new way for corporations to screw us over?

-"Stand Up Guys": Shouln't Al Pacino really add an "H" to his name already?

-"The Call": Why you should never not kill the killer when you can.

-"Incredible Burt Wodnerstone" will surprise you. It's at least better than "Identity Thief."
       Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_41.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:12pm EDT

This one was a hard one for the "Dirty Sons of Pitches." Ben almost didn't make it out alive. Hopefully their commentarry track for the 1976 horror movie "The Devil's Kiss" a.k.a. "The Caresss of Satan" will spare others. It's an awful movie, sure, but it's also mostly aimless except for wandering zombies and maids who are constantly undressing. You can watch the film via Netflix streaming and listen to the boys' commentary to keep your sanity as they struggle with their own. Other topics broached include a fond look back at the bizarre multiculutral world of the Nickelodeon cartoon, "Doug," whether Pee Wee Herman was simply misunderstood and voicing his displeasure with the movie, and what to do with spoons at an orgy.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: devils_kiss.mp3
Category:Commentary -- posted at: 2:52pm EDT

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome their second female guest to the podcast -- Sarah (I suppose third if you count Ben's mother).This week, in honor of Oz, it's all about fantasy pitches, and the theme even extends into this week's game as the gang recasts the "Wizard of Oz" trilogy. Along the way they tlak about things such as the mechanics of mating with giants, the illogical nature of a government combatting overcrowding with a 12-hour free-for-all period of lawlessness, whether "Jack the Giant Slayer" stole from the MIB cartoon, Jason Bateman's status as a quality comic actor, Michael J. Fox's TV sitcom names, the flaws in the gameplay of Chaka and the Forever Man, and the taint-quality of Kevin James.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 40 includes:

-What would you do with a 12-hour window of lawlessness? Ben's answer may surprise you and... not surprise you but depress you all the same.

-We predict everyone in America will be working on simultaneous heists.

-"Amour": the love story of the year that will make you wish for death.

-"Oz the Great and Powerful": too much CGI, too much Franco, and yet not enough Zach Braff?

-This Week's Pitch -- Fantasy film!

-Ben pitches a "Full Metal Jacket"-style bootcamp for dragon warriors.

-Nate pitches a super wizard savior switched at birth tale, a fantasy "Puddin'head Wilson," if you will.

-Eric pitches a wannabe sword fighter who has to battle Lancelot for the fate of mankind.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It!

-The gang recasts "The Wizard of Oz," "Return to Oz" and "Oz the Great and Powerful" as contemporary films.

     Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_40.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:59pm EDT

The gang talks about comedy legend Mel Brooks, whom they hold personal fondness over. They chat about the best and worst Brooks flms, his seeming retirement from cinema, concentration into musical theater, and what exactly they'd like to see him do next. Hint: It's not a secret to Dracula: Dead and Loving It. They also tlak about the challenges of adapting his own work for the stage, whether Blazing Saddles could still exist in its original form for today's audiences, and why The Artist ripped him off.

Also available on iTunes!

Direct download: mel_brooks.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 5:19pm EDT

In honor of the Oscar ceremony, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are mixing things up. They get into an extended discussion over their predictions for the top awards, then discuss movies they have seen this week, ending on their pitches, which are the ultimate Oscar bait movie. Along the way the guys get tangled up talking about John McCain thinking he's John McClane, the exact equation it would take to turn hentai into Oscar bait, the artistic resonance of the HJ in "Hyde Park on Hudson" vs. the HJ in "The Master," the darkness of the Focker Wilderness, the flat food diet, what happens when you have the oldest and youngest Oscar nominees fight, the cruelty of lying to Helen Keller about time machines, and the awesome fact that Daniel-Day Lewis can do anything.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 39 includes:

-Bonus Discussion -- Oscar Predictions!

-The guys go through 10 categories and discuss whom they think will get the shiny statues. Waltz vs. Jones, Lawrence vs. Riva, "Brave" vs. good taste; they got it all covered and then some.

-They discover the true versatility of Daniel-Day Lewis in action. You'll never look at a wad of tissues the same way.

-"Beautiful Creatures": What's worse? Jeremy Irons' southern accent or a plot that arbitrarily denies women being able to choose for themselves?

-Ben defends "It's Pat: the Movie" then dishes about his newest fan, Julia Sweeney herself.

-Ben comes clean on his own manic pixie girl dream -- Emma Watson.

-This Week's Pitch -- Ultimate Oscar Pitches!

-Ben pitches "The Sadness Gang," a team-up of unfortunate little girls who know a thing or two about being sad.

-Nate pitches a Forrest Gump prequel about Forrest's father, the unknown key to WWII victory.

-Eric pitches an uplifting sports film around Colts coach Chuck Pagano -- "Chuck Strong."

        Send your feedback, suggestions, and love letters to pitchcast@yahoo.com

Direct download: pitch_39.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:34pm EDT