Dirty Sons of Pitches

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a little tired this go-round because they spent the last week seeing nonstop movies in the evenings for your listening pleasure. The guys talk about the awful and hard to follow "Snowman" and pitch far-fetched serial killer ideas. They also close out by playing another game of So Shalit Be, to honor podcast favorite, critic Gene Shalit. Along the way the guys chat about more revelations from the Weinstein fallout, why Mark Felt's story is really boring, the oft-putting sexualization of teenagers in a Tyler Perry movie, the potential dirty puns afforded with a hero named Harry Hole, why sometimes legs are the best option for robots, and something the Columbus filmmaking community has been looking forward to for ages, the screening of zombie comedy "Bong of the Living Dead."

Available on iTunes.

Episode 193 includes:

-More Weinstein news: Academy out, Woody Allen to the rescue, Tarantino and Kevin Smith respond, and more.

-Ben's love for Madea betrays him as "Boo 2" is everything awful that people accuse Tyler Perry's movies of being.

-"The Snowman" is such a bad thriller that they didn't even get to film 15% of the script, and this is according to the director himself.

-The guys discuss the highly awaited premiere of the local zombie stoner comedy "Bong of the Living Dead."

-This Week's Pitch -- Serial Killers!

-Nate pitches a killer fan of Madea at a Tyler Perry convention and people who murder others who say "Happy Holidays."

-Ben pitches a different kind of Zodiac killer, holiday killer, and a vengeful Richard Gere.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and come up with pun-heavy blurbs for "Fight Club," "Reign Over Me," "Eating Raoul," and, "Easy A."

Direct download: pitch_193.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are taking cues from the film "The Mountain Between Us" and looking at survival stories, including real-life horror show Harvey Weinstein and the ongoing revelations of his history of harassment and abuse. Another week and another raft of news related to the ongoing Weinstein scandal and cover-up hitting Hollywood. The guys also discuss the nature of adapting books and fidelity to the source material, the nature of fan entitlement, Ben's bizarre dream that includes character arcs, cutting off your own arms to form a ladder, the Olestra chips that gave you the runs, and what the level of forgiveness is for Hollywood's offenders and whether it's talent-based.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 192 includes:

-Weinstein update: new accusations, new curious defenders, new gropers, new pained reactions, new revelations. The guys dive into what all of it means.

-McDonald's ran a promotion that angered "Rick and Morty" fans. Ben and Nate take opposing sides.

-Nate has seen "Girls Trip." And...

-Ben says Netflix's "The Babysitter" is a fun horror comedy that needed a better director than McG.

-"The Mountain Between Us" is a survival story without stakes and a romance without chemistry or good characters. But it does have a dog.

-This Week's Pitch -- Survival Tales!

-Ben pitches a man stuck in a bear trap, a couple trapped in a teetering car, a vision quest gone wrong, and an active volcano with killer robots.

-Nate pitches a stranded astronaut drifting in space and reflecting on his or her inevitable death.

Direct download: pitch_192.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:19am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are looking into the future through the power of the 1980s with "Blade Runner 2049," a sequel 35 years in the making. Ben and Nate try their hand pitching long-in-the-works sequels to 80s movies starring original cast members, and they play another game of So Shalit Be to close out the episode. Once again there's much to talk about in Hollywood and the guys hit a number of topics, including a new addition to Ben's riches-equal-pedophilia threshold theory, how the Queen may or may not go to the bathroom, "Back to the Future" as personal therapy, and the question of how often they'll be revealing sexual harassers in Hollywood.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 191 includes:

-Super producer Harvey Weinstein and Screen Junkies' founder Andy Signore become the latest creeps to be given the spotlight of shame.

-Even Tyrese recognizes people only love The Rock and Statham in "Fast and Furious" franchise.

-Ben is confounded by "Girls Trip" and teaches Nate all about "grape fruiting."

-"Blade Runner 2049" > "Blade Runner"

-This Week's Pitch -- Late Sequels to 80s Films (plus maybe set in 2049)!

-The guys pitch late sequels to 80s movies like "the Karate Kid," "War Games," and "The Goonies."

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and conjure Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for the films "Bruce Almighty, "Frankenweenie," and, "Glen Gary Glen Ross."

Direct download: pitch_191.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:03pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are drawing a line down the middle when it comes to a battle of gender, pitting men and women against one another in this week's pitches in honor of the new film "The Battle of the Sexes." The guys also chat about the first new episodes of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as other topics such as the horror of Roland Emmerich's "Ghost Chase," buying in bulk with limited edition chips, the medical genius of licking things, whether Elton John should have been more explicit in his cameo, and the DCEU being even dumber than we first believed.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 190 includes:

-Harry Knowles, the pervy head of Ain't It Cool News, is revealed to be the latest film creep who can't keep his hands off of women.

-"Kingsman 2" is an unmemorable sequel that proves Matthew Vaughn may be mortal after all.

-Ben watches "Wish Upon" and wishes he hadn't.

-Is the sports drama "Battle of the Sexes" too kind to its resident misogynist?

-This Week's Pitch -- Men vs. Women!

-Nate pitches a long-standing couple that competes to see who can sleep with the most other people, and a resort that allows you to hunt your exes for sport.

-Ben pitches a bisexual "This Means War," a slasher damsel that turns the table, robots that try and get the last man and woman on Earth to mate, and  romance between two rival serial killers.

-Bonus Discussion -- Trek Talk!

-The guys discuss the long-awaited action-packed two-episode premiere of "Star Trek: Discovery" as well as Seth MacFarlane's homage to Trek, "The Orville."

Direct download: pitch_190.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:11pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" welcome back special guest and "Saturday Night Jive" podcaster George who has devised a special game just for them. He's been eager for weeks to talk about the strange experience that is "The Book of Henry" and has come up with a game to best illustrate the even more strange paths the movie takes. The guys round out the episode with another round of their pun-heavy game So Shalit Be and mourn the loss of Harry Dean Stanton in a typically insufficient way.

Available on iTunes

Episode 189 includes:

-Our long national nightmare is over: J.J. Abrams is returning to direct "Star Wars: Episode 9."

-Nate finds Darren Aronfosky's "mother!" to be an interesting allegory, but knows it will be hated.

-George cites two 2017 movies that stuck with him, "The Circle" for all the wrong reasons and "Wakefield" for all the right reasons.

-This Week's Game I -- And Then...?

-George describes sections of the plot of "The Book of Henry" and asks Ben and Nate to predict what will happen next. they are often wrong as this movie reveals itself to be absurdly wrong-headed.

-This Week's Game II -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys take their turns coming up with Gene Shalit-worthy blurbs for the likes of "Room," "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," "Hackers," and more.

Direct download: pitch_189.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:07am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are celebrating the latest Stephen King adaptation, the killer clown film breaking all sorts of box-office records, "It." In honor of that movie, the guys are pitching stories about kids against monsters of all types. Stick around for the off-the-cuff conversation tangents like comparing the current "Star Wars" morass to Vietnam, Ben's face blindness with a very specific kind of actor, how a Jabba the Hutt movie could work, the difference between kids who act and kid actors, and a scientific breakdown which role in the human centipede is actually the worst.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 188 includes:

-Colin Treverrow is out at "Star Wars" and Kathleen Kennedy puts another head on her wall. Seriously, what is going on over there?

-Drew Goddard comes in to save the X-Universe right as it appears headed back to dormancy.

-"It Comes at Night" is a victim of misleading marketing and an ending that's just sort of... there. Hint: a plague comes out in daytime too.

-The guys absolutely adore "It" 2017.

-This Week's Pitch -- Kids vs. Monsters!

-Nate pitches an abusive priest who swears his bad deeds are really the demon inside him, so a group of his victims kidnap him and attempt an exorcism.

-Ben pitches killer Jack-O-Lanterns, kids trying to live it up at a murderous summer camp, and ninja kids thrown into a battle they are ill-prepared for.

Direct download: pitch_188.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:56pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are examining phobias and fears for the upcoming clown-centric Stephen King horror movie, "It." They end the episode playing a game of So Shalit Be, where they imitate famed critic Gene Shalit and come up with pun-laden blurbs for upcoming fall movies. Learn much about what Ben thinks about white washing, Michael Fassbender's legacy, whether he could live in the Matrix, where the new "Tomb Raider" movie has gone wrong, and what's really at stake with America.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 187 includes:

-The box-office is at a twenty-year low. How did we get here? Remember Tarsem?

-RIP Tobe Hooper and your crazy horror movies.

-Warner Bros wants Leonardo DiCaprio to play its other Joker. Don't think he's getting out of a supermodel's legs for this one.

-If you like weird whimsy, "Dave Made a Maze" is a DIY delight.

-"Tulip Fever" unleashes a debate over the overall attractiveness of Alicia Vikander and sides are drawn.

-This Week's Pitch -- Phobias!

-Nate pitches a teenager with a phobia of young people who lives in a senior center.

-Ben pitches lots of horror phobia concepts, including a serial killer obsessed with the number 13 and a woman who wakes up on a plane filled with a suicide cult.

-This Week's Game -- So Shalit Be!

-The guys try and determine what pun-loving film critic Gene Shalit would think of some upcoming movies this fall.

Direct download: pitch_187.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:06pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are doing their best to try and understand what exactly is happening at the Warner Bros offices right now as news item after news item seems to confirm that nobody knows what to do with their DC superhero properties. The guys speculate about the avalanche of prospective news, chat about Joss Whedon's turn of events, the passing of comedy legend Jerry Lewis, and in honor of the live-action "Death Note" film on Netflix, they answer a series of challenging moral questions.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 186 includes:

-Jerry Lewis has died... now when do we get to see "The Day the Clown Cried"?

-WB and DC throw anything at everything at the wall to see what sticks, and Joss Whedon's wife comes forward to argue he is no feminist.

-The new animated Batman and Harley Quinn movie betrays the animated series... and it's got fart jokes too and... rape?

-Nate declares "The Only Living Boy in New York" to be insufferable hipster prattle.

-The Netflix "Death Note" movie is about as disappointing as you knew it would be.

-This Week's Pitch -- None!

-This Week's Game -- Moral Quandaries!

-Ben quizzes Nate on a series of challenging questions inspired by the moral quandary at heart with "Death Note." Nate learns just how far he'll go for money.

Direct download: pitch_186.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:20am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are catching up on movies, sharing their 48 film fest short, and talking the world of fans and fandom thanks to the indie comedy, "Birgsby Bear." Nate's under the weather and sounding a bit more like Kathleen turner, so excuse his voice. In the meantime, enjoy another ribald entry from your favorite podcasters.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 185 includes:

-Check out the first dramatic short film from the Edwin J. Hill production group, "The Things We Leave Behind" for the 2017 48 Hour Film Fest.

-Lots of Netflix news. Losing Disney but gaining a Shonda Rhimes.

-So WB execs said "Justice League " was "unwatchable." Let that sink in considering these may be the same people that gave a standing ovation to BvS.

"The Dark Tower" will disappoint fans and not fans.

-"Wind River" is an intriguing, character-driven mystery that then.... just explains everything to you.

-"Brigsby Bear" is a poignant and surprising movie that might be this year's "Swiss Army Man" gem.

-This Week's Pitch -- Fans and Fandom!

-Ben pitches a Misery-style kidnapping, a fan dating his older TV sexual fantasy actress, a conspiracy thriller about a lost TV episode no one is allowed to see, and a series based upon the Star Wars commercial kid.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

-The guys pitch a perfect Samuel L. Jackson vehicle in seconds. That's all it takes, folks.

Direct download: pitch_185.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" have some updates on their progress on short films and have a couple new movies to talk about, one good and one baffling. The guys are pitching product placement movies in honor of "The Emoji Movie" and basically struggling to make sense of a world of ejaculate spiders, Richard Belzer as cereal pitchman, and Rooney Mara's consumption of baked goods.

Available on iTunes.

Episode 184 includes:

-Learn Ben's top five fears in life and the time he almost invited a prostitute into his car.

-Once again, a bushy mustache brings down a DCU movie.

-NBC appears to be trying to invent a time machine to bring back 2000s TV.

-"Atomic Blonde" is "Suicide Squad" done right.

-If you're looking for a movie that features Rooney Mara eating a pie for ten minutes, your time has finally come.

-This Week's Pitch -- Product Placement Movies!

-Ben and Nate pitch movies around Pez dispensers, the Domino's Noid mascot, the mattress sheep, and an adventure with Coke mascots.

Direct download: pitch_184.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:42pm EDT
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