Dirty Sons of Pitches

The Dirty Sons of Pitches are done talking about hirsute dead directors and are back with a brand new episode, this week covering all things monkey related, from morally ambiguous apes who may one day inherit a dying Earth to the poo flinging primatives of the Tea Party currently trying to conquer our politics. We even game with monkeys on the brain. It's crazy.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 89 includes:

-Yet more phallic innuendo!

-Ben and Nate discuss Dinesh D'Souza's America: Imagine A World Without Her, and stumble all over each other trying to adequately describe how terrible it is. In other doc news, Roger Ebert's death is still sad, and we all dodged a bullet with the death of Jodorowsky's Dune.

-Nate declares Snowpiercer one of the best of the year while Ben laments the state of modern high concept coming of age movies talking Earth To Echo. Also, spoilers, Uwe Boll still sucks.

-Both of us saw the new Planet of the Apes movie, and while we question just how much this new entry in the Caesarian Saga moves the franchise forward, at the end of the day we just can't deny the impact of killer apes on horseback double fisting machine guns.

-This Week's Pitch – Monkey Movies!

-Nate outright steals a pitch from The Simpsons with Hail To The Chimp. He then rounds it out with a sci fi flick about de-evolution, pissing off conservatives twice in one show.

-Ben steals from himself for a team of monkey superheroes, then throws out interspecies romance in space, a literal monkey bromance, and an amputee's revenge.

-This Week's Game – Monkey-fi It!

 

 

- We take classic movies and add monkeys to them. It's kind of self explanatory. 

Direct download: pitch_89.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:23pm EDT
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This week, in lieu of a new episode, Nate and Ben talk about one of the most critically acclaimed directors of all time, Stan The Man Kubrick. Was he the genius he's crackec up to be, or just an overrated hack? Ben uses the opportunity to release some long pent up rage against The Shining, while Nate reserves his outrage for the Kubrick film that might have been: A.I. In our first posthumous DC, we wrap up by discussing what we would have liked to see if Kubrick could make one last movie. 

Direct download: kubrick.mp3
Category:Director's Cut -- posted at: 8:46pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches are back (Now with descriptions and everything!). They've recuperated from a mutual illness that was in no way instigated by any sexually transmitted shenanigans, and this week they're talking movies based on toys, some potentially disastrous Star Wars news (they hired the Looper guy), admitting to childhood plagarism, and probably other stuff that would require me to re-listen to more of the episode to adequately tease.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 88 includes:

-Tracy Morgan Update!: Still Not Dead

-Ben and Nate both enjoy 22 Jump Street, and believe it or not, Ben is perhaps a more enthusiastic fan.

-Nate tries to justify the schmaltzy manipulative tripe that is The Fault In Our Stars. Ben is not convinced. Then he gets all rapey with Maleficent (and no, I will not provide context for that).

-Ben reports back on a slew of movies including The Other Woman, Under The Skin, and Transformers, and remarkably finds the Michael Bay movie to be the best one.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Based On Toys!

-Ben pitches a Six Million Dollar Man toy movie, then throws out some 90's nostalgia talkin' Sky Dancers, Gator Golf, and Monsters In My Pocket.

-Nate pitches a Board Game movie based on Hungry Hungry Hippos (way to retread, like, episode five Nate), and then suggests the government's bargain basement solution to a post-Transformers world.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!

 

-The guys kind of waited till the last minute to do the game this week, but still pull it out by literally pulling some movies out of a hat. It starts a little slow, but you get what you pay for.  

Direct download: pitch_88.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:01pm EDT
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This week on The Dirty Sons Of Pitches, a lot of stuff! Better description to come, as soon as Nate writes it. I'm tired. 

Direct download: pitch_87.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:23pm EDT
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Now down to two, the "Dirty Sons of Pitches" took a week off but they were not idle. The guys talk about their short film, which you cna view online now, and then pitch movies based upon foreign properties. Then in honor of "Maleficient" the guys play a game of Cast IT where they cast live-action versions of famous Disney villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 86 includes:

-The guys explain their absence last week making the comedy short film "Bacon and Eggs." Watch it here!

-Uwe Boll remakes "Suddenly", a film that fell into public domain. Did you know that was a thing? Movies you can remake at no charge, folks.

-Ben takes the lonely position of defending Adam Sandler's "Blended."

-"Edge of Tomorrow" is a great summer movie and even Tom Cruise haters can enjoy watching him die repeatedly onscreen.

-This Week's Pitch -- Foreign Properties!

-Ben pitches anime adaptations, the Necroscope series, and a retelling of the Lord of the Rings from the perspective of Mordor (Howard Zinn would approve).

-Nate pitches a Jaspar​​ fforde/Thursday Next film, swapped gender version of "Amelie," and begs for a "100 Years of Solitude" miniseries.

 

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-The guys cast live-action versions of Disney villains like Captain Hook, Jafar, Gaston, Ursula, Syndrome, and others.

Direct download: pitch_86.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:05pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are a threesome again but for the last official time, as we bid goodbye to departing original Son of Pitch, Eric. His swan song involves pitching movies based upon vacations and then the gang plays one final game of Gut-Check Challenge. Thaks for 85 plus episodes, Eric.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 85 includes:

-What would you give up to make sure there was no cancer in the world? How about... more cancer?

-Edgar Wright is out of "Ant-Man." As is most of our interest in Marvel's Ant-Man.

-Eric dishes about how much he loved the new "Godzilla."

-"X-Men: Days of Future Past" reignites the X-Men franchise by also eliminating the crappy X-Men movies from record.

-This Week's Pitch -- Vacation Film!

-Nate pitches a vacation-as-CIA-cover to nab a high-profile target. It's like "We're the Millers" meets "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

-Eric pitches a family heist movie at France's Louvre. The family that steals together... eats... meals together?

-Ben pitches a combination of "Home Alone" meets "Captian Phillips," and the logistics of Holodeck fornication.

-This Week's Game -- Gut-Check Challenge!

-The guys go round outbidding how many movies they can name starring a selected actor. The first one to three points wins.

Direct download: pitch_85.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03pm EDT
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The Dirty Sons of Pitches may not be a threesome this week, but we're still just as sexy. In honor of the new hit film Godzilla, this episode is a tribute to Giant Monster Movies, but we still have time to go off on stupid tangents about oh so important topics like self fellatio and poorly thought out porn parodies. We tackle some recent superhero news including a new X Man and our first glimpse at the new Batman, as well as the death of a surrealist icon and the unnecessary dickishness of a professional monkey mimic (see, we can be reductive too!). Also, Jim Belushi still sucks, in case you were wondering.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 84 includes:

- Nate considers Neighbors to be top tier Seth Rogen and then explores the dark and seedy underbelly of people who ride bicycles for a living. Thrilling.

 

- Ben shits all over the new CGI movie Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return, and then re-evaluates his position on Stephen King's It (way more little kid sex than he remembered).

 

- Both of us see the new Godzilla film as a qualified success - the parts with Godzilla were great. The parts without Godzilla needed more Godzilla. Let Them Fight!

-This Week's Pitch -- Giant Monster Movies!

- Nate pitches Attack Of The Killer Tomatos with Beets (a marked improvement), and then a literal interpretation of the title of a reality show.

 

- Ben unsurprisingly pitches a movie involving Giant Monster semen, then launches into perhaps the longest and most detailed pitch in the show's history, short of perhaps Chris Holben: The Movie.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project!

 

- For our game this week, its another addition of Vanity Project, in which we…basically bitch a little more about what we didn’t like about Godzilla under the guise of discussing what the big lug should do next.

 

Direct download: pitch_84.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 5:31pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are reunited as a threesome and Eric has several movies to get off his chest. Beforehand, the guys talk about recent TV shows that have been cancelled and renewed, specifically NBC's "Community." The gang pitches versus tales, pitting one group against another in some form of conflict. Yeah, it's kind of vague, but go with it. As they spend so much time cathcing up and chatting about TV news, they run out of time for a game this week. Next time, folks.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 83 includes:

-Goodbye Bob Hoskins. We still liked you in "Super Mario Bros."

TV cancellations: no six seasons and a movie for "Community." TBS, save this show!

-Even fans should turn away from Jay and Silent Bob's Groovy Cartoon Movie."

-Eric expounds on "Draft Day," "Amazing Spider-Man 2," "Delivery Man," and, "Dead Heat."

-Ben wishes "Neighbors" was more than an excuse for Jackass-stye pranks. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Versus!

-Eric pitches Terminator vs. Rambo and the ultimate briday battle, nuns vs. vampires.

-Nate pitches robots vs. zombies, dinos vs. zombies, and two spies trying to bring back the good old Cold War. 

-Ben pitches Santa vs. Frankstein, future selves vs. past selves, and aliens vs. the Earth.

-This Week's Game -- None!

Direct download: pitch_83-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are all flexing those muscles they haven't used since college as they pitch movies based upon famous paintings in relation to the indie film "Belle." Beforehand, they tlak about several big news items, including the revealed cast for "Star Wars Episode 7," go over Spider-Man's second return for a second film to the big screen, and then play a game of Cast It where they envision the Sinister 6 and who would play the famous Spidey villains.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 82 includes:

-Bryan Singer's legal troubles.... yeah.... so.... that.

-Zack Snyder announced as director of "Justice League" movie as well. There is no relief.

-Nate congrats "Heaven is for Real" for being nice and inclusive.

-Ben enjoys "Amazing Spider-Man 2" but wishes it wasn't all so rushed.

-This Week's Pitch -- Movies Based on Famous Paintings!

-Nate pitches a world of interchangeable body parts a la cubism and how that changes our sense of beauty and identity.

-Ben pitches a LOT of ideas because he knows way more about art history than you ever would have guessed.

-This Week's Game -- Cast It!

-Nate and Ben forecast the eventual players of the Sinister 6 and who would best play the baddies.

Direct download: pitch_82.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:13pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are talking about good plans gone wrong as they pitch Murphy's Law pitches, namely a scheme or event that spirals out of control. The guys talk about recent strange movie projects in development, a scad of movies they watched, then play another game of Movies Against Humanity but they need YOU to judge the winner by emailing Ben and telling the guys who won the game.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 81 includes:

-Get ready for a Peeps movie... to remind you that you hate Peeps.

-Ben and Nate froth wildily over the action awesomeness of "The Raid 2."

-"Oculus" is right up Ben's horror alley, especially with extra Amy Pond.

-Hey, did you expect "A Haunted House 2" to have a rape sequence? Hilarious!

-"Transcendence" is a movie for people that don't know technology. 

-This Week's Pitch -- Murphy's Law!

-Nate pitches a blackmail that spirals out of control, all involving a male pron star's most cherished member.

-Ben pitches a haunted house heist movie and a Rube Goldberg world. Think of the art direction!

-This Week's Game -- Movies Against Humanity!

-The guys draw a hand of movie titles and have to play one for a category. HOWEVER, they must defend and argue their choices BUT this time they need you to judge the winner.

Direct download: pitch_81.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:47pm EDT
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