Dirty Sons of Pitches (movies)

The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are inspired by "Tomorrowland" and pitching movies and series based upon the iconogrpahy of Disney, be it movies, parks, or the man himself. The guys also experiment with a new game, Better With The Rock, trying to imagine The Rock in other movies and disocver a pairing that would not benefit from added Rock. Along the way the guys also talk about the "X-Files" history, the secret message of Hanson's "MMMBop" tune, the mistakes of certain "sexy" Halloween costumes, the purpose of a "Symbologist," the magic of early 80s genre films, and the trappings of female facial features in animation vs. the uncanny valley.

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 112 includes:

-Learn about a really awkward Wizard of Oz rendition to educate about AIDS. Learn the forgotten pop-culture catch-phrase, "Please stop the monkeys."

-Hollywood white-washing news: can Emma Stone play Asian?

-"San Andreas" is a little too dumb for dumb fun.

-The "Poltergeist" remake: built on the graveyard of the better movie.

-"Pitch Perfect 2" is a message to normal extroverted kids -- yeah, it gets better, normal extroverted kids.

-This Week's Pitch -- Disney Iconography!

-Nate pitches "Die Hard"-in-a-Disney-park, and a behind-the-scenes documentary of near misses with beloved Disney and Pixar films.

-Ben pitches a steampunk "Frontierland," secret underground little people, a Disney princess team-up, and a curse relating to Tokyo Disney.

-This Week's Game -- Better With The Rock!

-Ben and Nate try and think of films of film scenarios that would NOT be imrpoved by the inclusion of The Rock. Is is hard.

Direct download: pitch_112.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 10:09pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are recapping the Oscars and pitching movies akin to the recently crowned Best Picture winner, "Birdman." They're talking about movies that can be done all in one take. The guys also play another rendition of their game Five by Five and prove tht they either know too much or nothing at all. Learn what a "vag deferens" is at long last, as well as Lawrence Kasdan's last movie, the highs and lows of Stephen King adaptations,

Also available on iTunes.

Episode 106 includes:

-Oscar recap: Will Eddie Redmayne be doing unclean things for nickles at bus stations in 10 years time?

-Marvel takes back Spider-Man, but will it not spider-suck?

-"Harmontown" makes Ben "kinda hate Dan Harmon." Nate sees "Sex Tape" and it makes him kinda hate sex tapes.

-"Chappie" is like "Robocop" and "Short Circuit" had a baby and it grew up on trashy gangster rap.

-This Week's Pitch -- One-Take Movies!

-Nate pitches the last hours of a death row inmate, a view in a jury room, and an interrogation scenario all done in one take.

-Ben pitches a sniper film from a sniper's POV, split-screen movie, and a time traveler on an exploding airplane.

-This Week's Game -- Five by Five!

-Ben and Nate come up with specific film categories and have two options to win points: pick 5 movies no on the list for that category or pick all 5 that are on the list.

Direct download: pitch_106-A.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 9:47pm EDT
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The "Dirty Sons of Pitches" are playing catch-up with podcasts for 2014, and so here's the latest one recorded back in early October. The guys talk about their entries into this year's MOFA 3 Weeks of Terror short film competition. Also included in this episode:

-Get ready for "Tag: The Movie"!

-Twin Peaks is coming back to obtusely confuse the masses for a new generation.

-Nate thinks "Gone Girl" is a great toxic date movie.

-Ben is impressed with how dark and intriguing "Maze Runner" comes out to be, even if it doesn't make much sense in the end.

-Ben loves "The Box Trolls" to the surprise of no one.

-This Week's Pitch -- Switched-at-Birth!

-Ben pitches a human riased by puppets and puppets raised by humans, a haunted house that raises a child, a young Boogeyman and apprentice, and a boy living inside a killer robot.

-Nate pitches a story of a child raised by the ghosts of his or her parents.

-This Week's Game -- Vanity Project

-In light of the news on more Twin Peaks coming to Showtime, Ben and Nate think of what they would like to have David Lynch bring to life.

Direct download: pitch_97.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 7:25pm EDT
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We recorded these quite a while ago, but now they're available for you to listen. Relive the late September memories of theatrical releases and celebrity hacking news. In this episode you'll cover:

-More celebrity hacking means more boobs on the Internet, for once.

-Ben explains why he wants to write a meta Shining porn parody and why it would matter.

-Nate finds enough to enjoy "A Walk Amongs the Tombstones."

-Ben enlightens us about worthwhile direct-to-DVD animated films, the gems of the bargain bin.

-This Week's Pitch -- Hoaxes!

-Nate pitches a small town working together to maintain a cryptid hoax for tourism purposes.

-Ben pitches a team of hoax debunkers who are realy supernatural beings.

-This Week's Game -- Re-Cast It: Tusk Edition

-Ben and Nate have their minds go to some very dark places as they imagine different Hollywood actors and the physical transformations that would take place to turn them into horrifying animal hybrids. You will shudder listening to this.

Direct download: pitch_96.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 6:49pm EDT
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This week on The Dirty Sons of Pitches, we do pretty much the same thing we do every week, talk about movies, tv shows, our penises, and so on. Sorry for the editting snafu at the beginning, but if it sounds confusing, just know that the only thing you missed was the first word of a set up for the same joke you've heard from us a million times. Enjoy. 

This Episode Includes

- Play the new Dirty Sons Of Pitches Bingo Game! It's incredibly easy. 

- We discuss the upcoming fall TV season, chide old media yet again, and quickly get off track.

- Nate is underwhelmed by No Good Deeds and Jack Ryan, while Ben talks about a slightly better spy movie, a charming indie with Michael Fassbender, yet another disappointing YA adaptation, and the cinematic abomination that is Jersey Boys. 

This Week's Pitch: Political Science (Fiction)

- Inspired by Atlas Shrugged Part Three, Nate pitches a Reaganite saving the Earth from Liberals and a division of American society based on Red Blue lines. 

- Ben pitches Tea Party Time Travelers, the richest man on the planet, guns for everyone, and a new process for capital punishment involving shiny red buttons. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five....Again

- This week we try the same game we played last week, slightly refined for the better, just to work out the kinks. We promise we'll have a different one next week (which will disgust you). 

Direct download: pitch_95.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 8:33pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we start with a cogent discussion of genital wigs and computer generated nipples and only get stupider from there. Without a solid pitch this week, we're fixing this years summer movies, and then introducing a whole new game...that we will completely change next week. 

This Episode Includes

Merkins. What are they, and why are we talking about them?

Nate discusses the Scarlett Johannson film Lucy, which he inexplicably enjoyed despite its complete lack of positive qualities. 

Ben raves about The One I Love, pans an internet reviewer's debut film, and watches the other Brendon Gleeson small Irish town movie of 2014. 

Also, Joan Rivers is dead. 

This Week's Pitch: Fix The Summer Movie Season

In lieu of a pitch, we discuss how we would have changed the big summer blockbusters of 2014 for the better, if only we could settle on when the season actually starts. 

This Week's Game: Five By Five

This new game pits host against host as one tries to guess what's in the mind of the other, exploring the dark and twisted psyche of a guy who composes lists of movies featuring amputees and killer robots in his head. Its fun for the whole family.  

Direct download: pitch_94.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 10:14pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, Nate and Ben discuss the Earth shattering news of...The Fappening, in which people we hate hacked the naked photos of people we hate but really want to see naked. We quickly skate by the moral ambiguity of invading the privacy of famous people we don't know the way we deal with all tough moral quandries - through the delightful post masturbatory haze that makes everything alright again. Also, like, some movies and pitches and stuff. Boobs.

ALSO AVAILABLE ON ITUNES!

This Episode Includes

- Did you not read the part about all the boobs.

- We update the Fantasy Movie Mogul Game, which nobody cares about because it doesn't involve boobs. 

- Do I need a third thing? Come on...boobs.

This Week's Pitch: Heaven And Hell Movies

- Inspired by a movie neither of us have seen, we pitch movies involving Christian mythology in a high concept context. I'm already tuning out for lack of boobs.

- Nate pitches an adaptation of Terry Pratchett and a movie about a reluctant antichrist, while Ben throws out demonic cyborgs, angel babies, and hypocrites left behind. 

This Week's Game: Movies Against Humanity

- We wrap things up with a few rounds of our favorite card game that in no way infringes upon the copyright of a similarly sounding game. Hear about the shocking secret connection between Grease and Flubber, and witness the first movie ever retired from the game due to overuse (Hint: it involves Midgets). 

Direct download: pitch_93.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 10:10pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons of Pitches, we were kind of tired, and it shows. We talk about a lot of celebrities that have died this year, the secret masturbatory career paths of filmmaking, a paltry list of movies seen, and a pitch based on a movie neither of us even bothered with. Its an episode almost as lazy as this short, incomplete description...

Direct download: pitch_92.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 10:26pm EDT
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This week on the Dirty Sons Of Pitches, we grapple with the incredibly important news of Idris Elba's giant penis. Also Robin Williams is dead. We discuss the man's life and work and somehow avoid accussing a victim of suicide of being selfish or cowardly (its easier than you might think, Internet douchebags). Along the way we talk Intergalactic movies in honor of a big movie from a couple weeks ago, and play an all new This Meets That. 

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 91 includes:

-A whole new metric for judging movies, based on the work of Pauly Shore and David Lynch.

-Other stuff probably.

This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In Other Galaxies/On Other Planets

-Nate pitches a movie based on relativity and Ben ruins it with a Deep Space Nine reference, then Nate redeems himself with a movie set on a world of garbage. 

-Ben pitches, like a crap load of movies, with dinosaurs, deluded probes, and aurora borealas.

This Week's Game – This Meets That!

-Ben has a packet full of movies in lieu of a hat, and with it we get the broken Vegas life of the Little Mermaid, gun toting Willam Defore Jesus, and the most useless prognosticator ever. 

Direct download: pitch_91.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 10:41pm EDT
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Another week, another milestone 90th episode of the Dirty Sons of Pitches. This week we talk Purge pitches, exploring the many and varied ways you could expand this once thought laughable cinematic universe. Along the way, Ben makes fun of Nate for enjoying Herman's head...a lot. Also we saw some movies, none of which were the Purge coincidentally. We wrap things up with the final This Meets That selection from our now empty hat. Stay tuned for a new more reliably convoluted system. Well, more so than a hat I guess.

Also available on iTunes!

Episode 90 includes:

-Do you know what a Homunculus is? Find out, and then continue not giving a crap.

-The guys hint at a new short film to come, then talk new preview picks from DC revealed at comic con, then quickly change the subject to a new pizza place to show just how little they care about the upcoming Justice League movie

-Nate spoils the fuck out of Hercules without a spoiler warning, and eats some crow for his earlier skepticism concerning the Brett Ratner vehicle, then spends way too long talking about Olivia Wilde and Scarlett Johansson nudity.

-Ben declares Tammy the new worst film of the year (America still doesn't count!), and slobbers all over his nerd self proclaiming Snowpiercer possibly the best.

-Pizza Cucinova. Quality artisan pizza made in front of your eyes for low low prices. Seriously, they don't sponsor us at all, they're just awesome.

-This Week's Pitch – Movies Set In The Purge Universe

-Nate pitches a between Purge revenge tale, then backtracks thinking it might already be in the movie. He rounds it out by pitching a movie about people who don't kill people for a series all about people killing people.

-Ben pitches You Got Mail with machetes, an unrepentant pedo story, and a Purge era Batman tale, among several others.

-This Week's Game – This Meets That!

 

-The guys have officially come down to the last two names in the hat, and one of the movies, neither of them have even seen. Still they try their best, and Ben augments the game by throwing out a home game idea of his own that Nate predictably shits on because its just too damn brilliant. 

Direct download: pitch_90.mp3
Category:Movies -- posted at: 9:52pm EDT
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